JESPAH   174,252
100,000 or more SparkPoints
JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

Why Should it Matter

Monday, April 26, 2010

I, I just don't know these days any more.

I'm in a funk. It's a bad one.

I'm normally feeling good this time of year. It's Spring and, sure, my allergies are out in full swing, but there's light and warmth amid the rain and, well, it doesn't seem to be enough right now.

It's a bunch of things, and certainly one of them is being up 4 lbs. this week but that's not really it, not really. That's not the big thing.

One thing that is going on is that I'd normally blame this on TOM but there's been no TOM for some 6 weeks or so. Now, I knew this would happen at some point in time. And I'm 47 1/2 years old already. At some point, you drop the peri from perimenopause. Perhaps this is the start of that, but it's annoying as I'd lose the quick weight loss bounce (or at least the blame!) from TOM and I feel like I've got PMS 24/7. And that's not just fun for me, it's a delight for Mr. J, too, I'm sure.

I'm not so sure how I feel about all of that. I've never, really, wanted to be a mother, and I still have no such desires in that area. I am crazy maternal about a lot of younger people (usually guys, maybe I'm just a cougar, eh?), though, so there's an outlet for that. I suspect a part of it is what it really means: you can run, and you can try to hide, but the push from youth to middle age is going to happen. And for we oh so privileged women, we have a clearer delineation. Men can lie to themselves about it a lot longer. They don't have the epic demarcation.

And, it is, of course, the whole career thing. The decision on that job remains delayed. Apparently there are three of us in contention for it. One competitor and I have already interviewed. The last one interviews some time this week -- the recruiter thought it might be tomorrow but he was unsure. Hence I'm on tenterhooks even longer.

I have been feeling crazy ambivalent about it for the entire time, ever since I applied for it.

It's stable.
It's not what I want.
It's good money.
It's not what I want.
It's a convenient commute.
It's not what I want.
It's a good company.
It's not what I want.
I could keep my gym.
It's not what I want.
I could see Mr. J for lunch on occasion.
It's not what I want.
It's good for my resume.
It's not what I want.
The people are nice.
It's not what I want.
I could do some web development.
Well, that's something.

The agony of waiting and feeling weird about the whole thing has been slipping into my dreams. I've dreamt of abandoning people. I've dreamt of organizing mountains of stuff. I've dreamt of going to the wrong places. All of these dreams come served up with a nice dollop of guilt a la mode and a side of you-don't-know-how-good-you've-got-it.

I walk around (I've been avoiding/missing/not going to my gym, but I am still doing some things) and it dominates my thoughts. It lives and breathes in my consciousness. It has scooped out a big hole and taken up residence, tentacles and suckers and feeding off my emotions, which are crazy and mixed up because of what may be the end, the death, of the peri part of perimenopause.

In with all of this, I continue to work on my site, and I know I've been overly aggressive, and I know I'm being impatient and nuts but I want so badly for it to succeed. I have been in business for myself, once before, but it was over 20 years ago and I was doing freelance depositions. I hated it and didn't want to do it and was just going through the motions. Now it's different, and I am trying so hard and working seemingly all the time and it feels like nothing is coming of it. Now, I am well aware that these things take time and I am being crazy and nutty and ridiculous but at the same time my hormones and my thoughts and my jiggery insanity are saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"


We're not, I'm not. No, no, no, a thousand times no.

And then there's -- ha, you thought I was done! No, no, no, gentle reader -- the month in review. I want to lay it out there quickly, remind myself that avoiding the gym is not such a hot idea.

Bicep 12.25"
Bust 36.75"
Band 33.25"
Waist 34.25"
Belly 36.34"
Keister/Hip (on me these are the same these days) 41.75"
Thigh 20.75"

None of these are personal bests but they're all decent. Bra fit calculators are insane, though, showing me 38AA (huh?), 40D (uh, I USED to be that) and 38C (kinda, sorta, those seem to work).

Energy Levels

Stinky. No other way to put it. Feeling weird and out of sorts, and not sleeping too well, will do that to you. I'm exercising anyway although I am staying away from the gym. Some of that is feelings/laziness, but there is another, practical reason, as I was feeling a pull in the left abs area and I'm trying to not aggravate/reinjure that. Hence there is a reason for pulling away that isn't just emotion-related. I did run a 5K recently, and did well. Another one is set for this Saturday. I love them and I will do them. But the euphoria, sadly, does not last.

Clothes, etc.

Things fit just fine, weird bra calculators notwithstanding. I fit into everything I own except for one size 10 skirt which is kinda small because it's lined. I can zip it but it's tight across the, er, across what I have in common with J. Lo.

What Else?

Well, you know it all. I don't know what I need, if it's a kick in the keister or a day in bed, but more likely it's just for time to pass. Patience is something that I have been practicing for so long that I'm fresh out. Sorry, no more for today. And I'm seeing that going around, my friends here in particular are tired, feel worn out and done even if they're not, impatient, impractical, imp imp impish, perhaps. Being out of sorts seems to be galloping through my networks, and not just here but on the site I manage, too, and among my fellow networkers. The area is poised to start hiring again, big time, but no company seems to want to go first.

Better idea: don't kick ME in the keister. Kick THEM.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 4/28/2010 8:08AM

    What can I say? Seems to be something going around and we've both caught it. 20 years apart. LOL

Since I did a surgical menopause at 38, I have no idea what that might be like, but I think you're on the right track thinking about the patience factor. I'm fresh out myself so we'll have to find a new supply somewhere.

Take care, haiku pal o' mine. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAB-LOVER 4/28/2010 7:11AM

    Sorry to hear that you've been down... maybe it's time to change something up a bit. A new challenge? How about a 5 miler as the next step up from a 5K? I know what you mean by races not giving you a lasting lift anymore. Today is a bee--you--ti--ful day... can you get some Vitamin D and take a long walk outside. Long walks are almost always good for my head.

I'm still in peri and wanting IT to end, but I suppose that I will be less sure about that when it actually happens.

And on the job thing.... life's short... if you're having those doubts, maybe its really NOT what you want... so hard to turn away a bird in the hand for one in a bush, but maybe...

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETZMIX 4/27/2010 5:56PM

    The job is not what you want, but it's something. The worst part is waiting. To be honest, the job I am doing...I DO NOT WANT TO DO, but it's at a place where I can eventually do what I want. It has tons of opportunities.

I have been avoiding the gym too and working out all together. Like I will do a little something here and there, but that's it. I don't know what has gotten into me. The boyfriend thinks it's the new job. Whatever.....

Hope all is well!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 4/27/2010 7:39AM

    Hey...! Sorry so late to your blog...!

PUSH yourself into some ACTION! It can be one of the BEST things for you overall right now!

You are sounding so FROZEN and when I get that way nothing helps as much as MOVING!

Kudos to you to lay it all right out there...your struggles...NOT an easy thing to do!

Keep coming back!


Report Inappropriate Comment
NYAYNE 4/27/2010 7:24AM

    Will be three years in July since I had "IT" I do have to say it made for weight gain. I wish I had had more signs of peri so I could have been more proactive.

You can buy an OTC FSH test. I don't how it works but years ago the blood test for ovulation had to be done on day three.

Maybe I will just have to bring a couple of young Bostons down for a walk. I bet that will get you out of the blues.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 4/26/2010 9:00PM

    Jes...I had my pap smear today...doc says I am officially in menopause. No more perimenopause for me. I suspect it has been that way for a while. Your blog is so honest. I hope the funk passes quickly and you get a job that you love. Don't pass up opportinities to work helps me on so many levels...even when I don't want to do it so much that I think I hate it. When I am done...I love it again.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Hi Hon

I got help with the transition from Chinese herbs and acupuncture. It was dramatic. One treatment and all hell broke loose. I was normal again for 3 more years and without discomfort for the first time in my life. Then it just disappeared. Also I drank 2 cups of soy milk every day in a frozen smoothie made with a frozen banana. If I forgot for even one day I got a flash. If I drank my little concoction I was relieved.

I'm not surprised you are in a funk. Sounds like you are beyond uncomfortable about being unemployed. While I wish you the best and your heart's desire I kinda hope something that you really want comes along before you get snapped up in a job that you will not love.

It is great that you are able to run in races. Amazing in fact.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 4/26/2010 1:06PM

    I skipped 3 months recently. It felt like one looooooooong PMS session, which in some ways I guess it was!

Hang in there. I never wanted to have kids either, but you're right it's weird to have a body system shut down in such an obvious way. Most of the time I feel like I'm in my 20s or 30s, with all the energy and activities I'm doing; so it brings me up short to have to confront this issue.

In the end, just like with the losing all along, it doesn't matter so much what you think or how you feel, but what you DO. So weather these times the best you can by getting out there and DOING what you know needs to be done (nutrition, exercise, etc. etc.) I wish I could say I always follow that advice myself, but it wouldn't be true. But I do try to remind myself about it, and when I do follow it, I start to feel better.

Hang in there. You've been through a lot, lately. The intersection between hopes and reality can sometimes be painful.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 4/26/2010 12:31PM

    I know you have seen lots of doctors lately but have you been to a gynocologist.A good check up might be in order and could help some of your hormone action and feelings.
The rest seems to be tied in with the uncertain future. If you can afford to you need to wait for job you want as it is very plain you do not want this job you are waiting to hear about. Maybe a day of doing nothing but resting would actually be a good idea. Rest your body and mind.
Look at all you have done.You will get thru this bump in the road. Be kind to your self. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

The Devil's Not in the Details

Monday, April 19, 2010

This was another one of my famous patented mixed-up weeks. I began with another small gain. Eek, up almost 8 lbs. since the all-time low. Which was only 2 weeks earlier. Gawd.

Okay, regroup. Move on. Think happy thoughts.

Phone call.

We got your resume. Love your background. Come in and interview.

Um, sure.

It's a Data Analyst job.

I swore I wouldn't be doing any more data analysis. Or at least no more as my primary function.

Ah, well, but we have a lot of $$ for you (I didn't tell them the part about not wanting to do DA work any more, of course. Mama didn't raise no foo'). And the location is perfect. And you've worked here before and the people are always nice. And Management is decent. And we want someone to do some Web Dev while they're at it.

Which is what I've been doing, and enjoying, and would definitely enhance the whole Social Media Specialist career I'm trying to start.

So, sure. We set it for Friday.

Tuesday was a wacky evening. I went to a networking event for Robotics. Now, I know diddly about the field, but every company needs some sort of social media marketing. I handed out business cards. I smiled at the earnest young men, all young enough to be my kids. I chatted amiably with the dude from the press (he actually had the best leads for me).

Wednesday was 2 more networking events. Cards leapt out of my hands. Oh, would you work freelance? Sure. Hmm.

Thursday was a lunch in Waltham. Lovely people. More cards. Steered clear of the cole slaw (it was a barbecue joint) in favor of salad and pulled chicken. Who needs dressing when you've got hot sauce? Talked to new friends and old, my weight loss came up. Was called "inspiring". Um, okay.

Friday. Interview. I think it went well. I should hear some time early this week. I am guessing Wednesday at the latest.

Then yesterday was the first 5K of the year. I ran it in 40:31. See:
. Yes, kids, I was dead last. But I don't care. It was the first race of the year. I was hoping to break 50 minutes and I nearly broke 40. It was the second-best performance of my little ole racing career.

Oh and I'd lost 2 lbs. when I weighed in this morning.

What's next? Well, hearing about the interview, of course. Will I take it if offered? Yes. It's a 6-month contract so, unless I'm renewed (this company renews a lot, but you never, ever know), I'm back looking in October or November or so. In the meantime, more experience, more resume enhancement, more web development and more, well, cash.

And I'll keep going to whatever networking events I can, keep writing and pumping out articles, keep putting myself out there. The scattered business cards are like seeds. Some will find purchase in the soil. Many will not. But in the meantime, while I wait for my garden to grow, I water it and feed it -- and get my salads from Star Market.

I'll let you know either way about the interview. In the meantime, my next 5K is May 1st. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUSSO51 4/21/2010 9:21PM

    I wish you luck. I also have an interview coming up. I am also brand new to Sparks. I have no will power and feel like this is just another route for failure. I hope not. good luck emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUSSO51 4/21/2010 9:21PM

    I wish you luck. I also have an interview coming up. I am also brand new to Sparks. I have no will power and feel like this is just another route for failure. I hope not. good luck emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAB-LOVER 4/20/2010 10:04PM

    Good luck -- what's the next race?

Report Inappropriate Comment
MITEJOE 4/20/2010 1:18AM

    Good luck on the job. Data Analyst is a part of market research, and nowadays, market research and social media are beginning to blend together on occasion (for instance, if the data is culled from a social media source). So, it certainly won't hurt your career to get more data analysis under your belt!

And if you need another job in 6 months time, the good news is there will be MORE jobs out there in 6 months as we continue to pull out of the recession.

It's all good!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 4/19/2010 10:55PM

    Sounds like a lot of great momentum...!

Crossing all my digits on the interview...good for you to be jumping into the 5K circuit!

And SUPER to nail a couple more pounds!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 4/19/2010 10:02PM

    Awesome run.Good luck on the job hunt.Sounds like you are doing well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 4/19/2010 9:18PM

Congrats on the run and the interview...sounds like an opportunity in the right direction.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETZMIX 4/19/2010 4:37PM

    emoticon on the 5K!! Who cares if you are last b/c you finished!! I know many people, including myself can not run that far (yet)!! Good luck with the job offer. Like you said, you are not no fool. So if it works out, it pays, and you said decent. You can still do what you like to do on the side and it's only for 6 months for now. So you can keep networking, you never they are looking for some web development!! Always think positive! Good luck!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VEEJAY3 4/19/2010 10:18AM

    You are just the poster picture for networking and job hunting, I think! You're always out there (weren't you even "out there" when you should have been lying down and recovering????) making it work.

I admire you. A lot!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 4/19/2010 9:21AM

    Seems like a good things are starting to happen--also glad you're racing. Lifts the spirits I guess--I'm going to try a little biking this week. If I don't I'll go stark raving mad! I'm having a devilish time myself--not enough sleep again, but the end is near and next month I'm free for a while. Opposite problem from yours I guess.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Sounds like good news all around. And there is definitely a theme here. You keep at it. Keep moving. In everything you do. And you are ultimately successful. It is a joy to watch.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Either Way You're Bound to Function

Monday, April 12, 2010

Things are percolating along.

I do web development every blessed day now. No rest for the weary, no weekends off. Of course I've only been doing this for a couple of weeks. But it's a lot to do.

This is because - ha! - I have come to realize that, for the scope of my actual ambitions, I ned a staff of something like 50 people. Artists, designers, SEO (search engine optimization) experts, content managers and creators, web developers, PR people, a social media specialist to manage Twitter and Facebook (this is the actual job I am really looking for these days), etc.


I'm just one person.

So excuse me if I'm more than a little nutty. Or, at least, more than usual.

Although all this activity did give me one serious bounce: I had less time yesterday when I went to the Reservoir, so I ended up running about 1/3 or so of the time. And that lopped a nice 6 minutes off my 2.5K time. This is helpful as we have the first 5K of the year next Sunday. Eek. I am a lot less prepared than I was in October of last year, but I am infinitely better prepared than I was last June.

Hence I figure my time will not be super-fabulous but I am hoping to blow away last June (1 hour, 4 minutes and some miscellaneous seconds). I figure anything under 50 minutes will be great.

I also started up Pilates again. This is simple at-home stuff and focuses on the abs. My abs kill me while I do it. This is not because it's so hard; it's actually fairly gentle. That's more because of the continuing aftermath of surgery. But I'm improving.

Another recent idea is to get a kettlebell. I've been pricing them and like a particular 15-pounder on Amazon. I already have a good 35 pounds' worth of weights in here so that would up it to 50, although I wouldn't hold them all at the same time (it's not possible; no one's hands would be big enough). I'd also like to do the kettlebell kind of stuff where you really swing it around although I suspect, with my luck, it will fly out the window (thereby breaking said window), and then go sailing to the ground where it promptly clonks some random passerby in the noggin.

With my luck, this random passerby will be the Hiring Manager for some sort of major massively wonderful dream job I haven't even heard of yet. Hmm. I better wear the weight lifting gloves when I swing the kettlebell around (assuming I get it at all).

In other news, I'm waiting to hear whether I'm going to be interviewed for a particular job. Now, I wait to hear all the time, but this is something where the recruiter has called me regarding my application. Hence it's further along than most. This is a place where I used to work, it would be data analysis but they want someone with (aha!) web development experience, plus I have great internal references. I'll give the guy a day or so and then send an email or call.

It's not a perfect situation but it's a good/not bad one. Plus making some $$ for a while (it's a temp position) would be of use right now. In the meantime, networking goes on. And I have another date with the Reservoir today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 4/13/2010 9:34AM

    You are one busy woman. I found a job that I decided to take. ummm I blogged about it. It's at Montefiore Medical Center, every heard of it. They have like 3 hospitals including Albert Einstein which is a teaching hospital with Einstein School of Medicine. So it's a good opportunity, now I am a nervous wreck lol

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 4/12/2010 10:59PM

    Crossing all my digits re: your interview...!

Keep the SPARK! :-)


Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 4/12/2010 9:26PM

    So I won't be stalking around YOUR windows anytime soon. Rooting for you on the job and the run.

Comment edited on: 4/12/2010 9:27:13 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIASTER 4/12/2010 6:17PM

  Good luck with the interview, rather sounds like it is yours for the taking and hey $ is nice plus who knows where it might lead.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONECOOKIETWO 4/12/2010 1:51PM

it sounds like you're perking along at a right good clip! (mixed metaphors?)
Last time I checked up on you, you were facing surgery and didn't have a job, so things look bright!
Hearing you talk about using a kettleball in your office gives me a chill, though. No matter how good you are at lifting and swinging, accidents can happen, and you could not only kill someone but destroy some expensive computers.
Are you sure you have to have a kettleball in that office, girlfriend? Please think twice...
yer bud,

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 4/12/2010 1:33PM

    Nice to see an update. Looks like you are progrssing nicely. loved your little narrative about what could happen with kettleball.Cute.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PONYFARMER 4/12/2010 1:31PM

    Wow, friend you are knocking it out of the *window, er park I mean.

I love your enthusiasm!

Report Inappropriate Comment

I Cannot Lie

Monday, April 05, 2010

Okay, yeah, I know about the song.

I was actually considering a Gilbert and Sullivan version of it (parody of course), but that was getting even weirder. So here's the original. Slap on the headphones if you're at work. Unless you don't mind your boss giving you that look. You know that look, the one where the boss thinks, man, you're one weird employee.

Anyway, uh, where was I?

Oh yeah.

Today's entry.

It's been an eclectic week. I've been working on my site a lot. Trying new things, adding pages, correcting things, working on design, etc. I've got a ton to do. I don't want it to look too amateurish. But at the same time, heh, I'm no web developer. But I'm realizing: I'm everything. Not just the developer even though I've never thought of myself that way. I'm also my own press agent, my own employment counselor, my own, God, everything.

So excuse me if I'm low on time.

Every day is a meeting. Or it's website work. Or blogging. Or networking. Or or or ....

This is why I'm going to contact my gym and tell them to suspend my membership. I'm just not going these days. Plus the weather is beautiful. Why stay inside and walk on a treadmill, when I'd rather walk around the Reservoir? Plus, unfortunately, getting to the gym is a three hour round-trip production when conditions are good. When they aren't, it's more like four. And I just can't afford that time right now. It's not that I don't want to exercise (although I've kept inside and rested recently because of the mega monster cold from hell which I'm only now finally getting over). It's that I need to make the best possible use of my time. And three or so hours on a bus or trolley is not it.

So, what else is happening? Oh, and why the song???

The song is because, and this is odd, I've been complaining lately that it hurts to sit on a hard chair or bench for too long, say, two hours or so. I mentioned this to Mr. J and he laughed and said, it's because I've lost much of my, ahem, padding. I look at myself, and I don't see it. And I'm a good 60 (yes, that number is correct) pounds heavier than I was in High School and I didn't feel this way. Something is happening. My body is reconfiguring again.

I had a good weight loss week last time, but this time it was abominable. I regained almost 7 pounds. Now, since I had lost 4 last week, I'm mainly just evening out. But it's still odd. And, heh, yeah, that comes with the, erm, sitting pain. My measurements have not changed significantly. Where am I keeping it all? Certainly not in my, ahem, back.

Perhaps I've got really beefy toes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Yes Beefy toes. That is my problem too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETZMIX 4/6/2010 8:45AM

    emoticon Beefy toes. Reminds me of hearing myself complain to Sherard that I have sausages for fingers, even though my hands and fingers are way smaller than his.

I totally get why you would suspend the gym membership. It's too far and you have things to do. If it was an hour trip back and forth, I would say keep it. But you are better off saving your money, and you are right it's too nice to be inside. I went out for Easter and just walked around. It has been sO nice out.

Keep working hard, The weight gain is nothing, you have been sick. Like you said, it is all going to even out.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARBIE18 4/6/2010 6:47AM

    Beefy toes - LOL!

I've noticed that sitting is uncomfortable, too, but I'd rather have that then the extra padding. I did consider getting a new computer chair, but I probably don't need to be on the computer more. Yep, when the butt's asleep, it's probably time to move!

Walking outside sounds like a great plan to me! Keep it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 4/6/2010 2:42AM

    Ahh, those beefy toes!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZENMIND7 4/6/2010 12:00AM

    I thought I was just weird because I never had much butt to begin with, but yeah, I can totally relate to hard chairs hurting now that you've lost some weight!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MITEJOE 4/5/2010 11:45PM

    Ha ha...gotta laugh! My home office chair, well, I have a soft pillow there...that darn seat is just too darn hard! And it's a good quality Eames office chair, vintage 70's...a VERY expensive chair when it was new (I bought used several years ago).

Anyway, I was curious about suspending a gym membership...had no idea one could do that. I haven't gone in ages. I get my exercise mainly from walking outdoors.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 4/5/2010 11:42PM

    Always enjoy your blog.
There is no reason you can't get a good exercise program at home. And no traveling time.
I am sure your web site will be the bomb when you get it completed

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 4/5/2010 10:35PM

    Beefy toes are easier to grab when you read...

I have trouble sitting without padding...a new thing for me, too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 4/5/2010 9:01PM

    Our bodies sure do FEEL differently these days, don't they...? :-)


Report Inappropriate Comment
THECITYMOUSE 4/5/2010 8:46PM

    Beefy just know how to make me LOL, no matter what!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 4/5/2010 8:44PM

    That song made me laugh! I've heard the song before, or at least parodies of it, but I don't remember ever seeing that video. emoticon The song is parodied in one of the Shrek movies by Eddie Murphy as Donkey singing it about his dragon girlfriend. I wonder if that video is available somewhere.

Anyway, it sounds like your website is coming along. Sorry to hear that you've lost your backside. I remember my grandma complaining about there only being one comfortable chair left in her house since she'd lost her padding. (She used to be heavy and lost weight as she got older.) I take it Mr. J. isn't like Sir Mixalot and doesn't mind that you've lost your "big butt"?

Keep up the good work! You're doing great!

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment
KUNGFOOD 4/5/2010 8:41PM

    Yes, bring on the warm weather. Hot blishtering heeeeaat.

Fresh air!

It is a strange thing about weight loss ...the redistribution and evening out. I know for me a kind of 8-9 week cycle. I can get used to buying smaller single-digit clothing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEE-KNEE 4/5/2010 8:37PM

    My two only complaints about losing weight are I get cold easier, and sitting on hard surfaces hurt my rear. I figure it's a fair trade because I had way more complaints about being obese. Don't worry about the 7 pound gain, it happens. You'll lose it and more.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 4/5/2010 8:16PM

    Well, you do know the answer: don't get fixated on the scale. Heck humidity affects it! So, do what you know works, get some exercise, etc.

BTW I'm doing really well--taking so many muscle, joint, strength and well being through swimming classes (not to mention allergy injections, knee injections and assorted health maintenance appointments) that I hardly have time to work--or cook or eat! Not bad, eh?


Report Inappropriate Comment

Some Folks Trust to Reason

Monday, March 29, 2010

Oops, I owe you all a month in review post. In fact, I think I missed it last month.

Ah well.

Anyway, here goes.

This has been quite an eventful week in terms of numbers, even if it's been quiet as I'm still trying to get over a cold and now my husband is getting it, too. My main goal is to be well by Friday, when I am meeting with a serious work prospect. Now, don't get all hope-y. The prospect cannot pay me. This is, as they say, the ground floor of a startup. But it's a way to continue to enhance my presence and if it comes to something then it's a good thing. Plus, if nothing else, I need to be able to field such things.

But on to the numbers.


Oh.My.God. This morning: 173.4 lbs. I'm only .4 lbs. away from having lost half of my starting weight (yes, I have a song specially planned for that). Pretty amazing. This all happened in about 2 years, 2 and a half months or so. Not too shabby.

BMI is 28. And, I'm finally smaller than Mr. J. And so I hope we stay that way.


Happy news here, too.

Bicep: 12.5" (originally: 19") down 6.5"
Bust: 36.75"; 1/2" above personal best (originally: 55") down 18.25"
Band: 33.5" 3/4" above personal best (originally: 47.5") down 14"
Waist: 34" (originally: 49") down 15"
Belly: 36.25" (originally: 59.5") down 23.25"!
Butt: 41" 3/4" above personal best (originally: 64") down 22.25"!
Hip: 41" 3/4" above personal best (originally: 54.5") down 12.75"
Thigh: 19.25" 1/2" above personal best (originally: 32.5") down 13.25"

Average of all eight measurements: 15.66" off.
Average of six measurements (no bicep, no thigh): 17.58" off


These past two weeks are somewhat misleading due to my cold. I'm not sleeping too well and am headachey on and off so that's throwing everything off. But I'm spending a lot of time reading and learning. In some ways it's a good thing, as it's keeping me inside in order to do website work. I was able to go to the gym once last week and twice the week before. I had been going at a three times per week clip but that's not back yet. The gym is fine but not while I'm this sick. Plus I think I overdid it in the beginning of last week and feel I may have extended the cold accordingly. Feh!

Job Search

While it's not a part of my weight loss it does occupy a great deal of my head space so I suppose I should report on it. My two chief activities are networking and building a website. I am still reading about website building and right now networking is suspended until I'm better. Hence I'm back to job applications, which tend to be far lower margin affairs. Fortunately I have nothing specifically planned until Wednesday, which I can blow off if I have to, and Friday, which I really want to attend. Then next week I have doctor's appointments so, if I'm still sick, I can step up treatment. These are planned visits and just so happen to coincide with the cold. Oh and on Sunday we have Celtics tickets. :)

Other Health Issues

I think my surgery issues are more or less all resolved but it's hard to tell as I am taking OTC meds for my cold. These contain Tylenol so it's tough to say whether the Tylenol is only going to my headache or if it's hitting me where I had surgery.

My right breast still has the seroma and that does not appear to be going away. It might be smaller, but it's not easy for me to ascertain that as I look at it every day. My other issues are fine; wounds are all closed and scars are, well, they're no worse. I'll have scars forever; it's really just a question of them fading in time.

My abs are more or less resolved although I do still feel them when I get up from a prone position. I am back to situps and those are okay. At the gym, it was hard for me to use the ab machines. I'm not back to chest exercises yet as I still have the seroma. I'll ask the surgeon about it when I see him a week from today. I suspect I'll be able to go back to chest work but I want him to confirm that.


I've still got tons of reading to do and I've still got a cold. I know that building my own site is key for me getting the kind of work I really want. I am really hoping to have something up soon. Perfect? Of course not. It will be a work in progress for, for, well, potentially forever. But I want something up there already. Somewhere to point people to. Somewhere to call home. Content swirls around my head, and sometimes it butts up against design. And SEO seeks a place at the table as well.

It will be a LOT to do. I am going to be acting like my own development team, my own marketing team, my own PR team and my own writing team. The only one I really know how to do is the last one, and I have to be sure to not let it dominate everything else. What's the use of great content if no one sees it, or if the site is hard to use?

But I also feel this will be, ultimately, incredibly rewarding. Even if I don't see a dime from it. A site. Made by me. With my own grubby lil paws. My quirky self, all on display.

It must be the Nyquil talking.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEE-KNEE 4/4/2010 6:23PM

    Half your body weight, I am right behind you. I have a little over 2 more pounds to reach that. Feels good huh?

I am anxious to see your site. I like the silly graphing site that you previously sent me a link too. It made me laugh.

Hope you feel better soon.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MITEJOE 4/1/2010 3:00PM

    You are doing great...keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KUNGFOOD 4/1/2010 8:45AM

    Yay, you! I'm heading over to look at your site and agree wholeheartedly about Analytics. Anal-ytics. Hmm. Well, they *are* absorbing!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIT_TERI 3/30/2010 5:01PM

    .4 lbs away. That is awesome!

I am glad your surgery related problems are mostly behind you, and I hope that last one clears up really soon. Then you can focus fully on regaining some of the muscle strength you've lost. Just imagine how fast those lbs will fly off then!

Your website sounds like a terrific idea. It's a big undertaking, as you know. But it will keep you busy. I've been afraid, when I have been out of work for several months, that if my mind isn't being challenged I might lose my "edge" (whatever's left of it anyway). I don't know if you have similar worries about that, but this endeavor will certainly keep your mind challenged!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRACYZABELLE 3/30/2010 3:27AM

    You are doing great girl! Keep up the good work

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 3/29/2010 9:48PM

    "Creative" grubby little paws, mind you! I'm very excited about your very own web site!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYWEB555 3/29/2010 5:02PM

    Motivate me baby ! I'm so glad I stopped by to read your blog, I'm feeling so uch better because your doing so well. Keep up the hard work and once again. THANKS FOR THE BLOG !

Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 3/29/2010 4:32PM

    You're just so inspiring! Can't wait to see what you make with your grubby little paws! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 3/29/2010 2:37PM

    Your numbers look great! emoticon

Hopefully, you'll be over the cold soon. Otherwise, you sound very upbeat!

Keep up the good work! You're doing emoticon

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 3/29/2010 11:52AM

    An inspiring story continues! Keep on keepin' on! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEETZMIX 3/29/2010 11:52AM

    I do hope you feel better. I know your website will be up soon. It seems like just yesterday you told us you were going to go and have your surgery. I know you are not 100%, but in my mind I would of thought for your recovery to be slower. And .4 pounds away from losing half your weight. ummmm that is basically potty stuff. (I know, how gross!) But I know once you are no longer sick, you will be at your new milestone! HOW EXCITING!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 3/29/2010 11:34AM

    Your own web site sounds awesome. Glad to hear you are healing well. Too bad you have the cold but that will end soon. Always enjoy hearing what you are up to. And you do sound like you feel much better. The right job will come your way.

Report Inappropriate Comment
POETSNA1 3/29/2010 11:13AM

    Great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 Last Page