JESPAH   191,305
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Well Everybody Better Move Over, That's All

Monday, June 15, 2009

It's been a second week since I started my plateau-bustin' ways, and this week was not the happy slam dunk that the last one was.

I regained about 2/3 of what I lost the previous week, despite doing what I was supposed to, but the reality is that a few things are happening. As in TOM (ugh), both later meals were shifted way too late yesterday, plus I didn't have a rest day (it was supposed to be yesterday, but instead we went to the Arboretum with friends and walked for 2 1/2 hours. It was fun).

Hence, well, the scale didn't work out for me this week. That happens.

Measurements are okay except for my big ole butt.

Because ....

wait for it ...

it hit a new personal best, for the first time in almost 2 months ...

by 3/4 of an inch.

It is now 44 1/2". When you consider that, when I started out, it was 64", that's pretty amazing. Yeah, I've lost almost 20" of keister real estate.

I'm feeling okay, considering that I gained plus I've had serious and nasty PMS. So I'll be fine, I know I will. This is why I wanted to do the plateau-busting experiment for a little over a month. Because one week definitely does not tell the tale.

It's also funny. Every time I feel ready to feel sorry for myself, or rail against the weight loss gods for giving me the fuzzy end of the lollipop (extra points for whoever gets that reference), something happens and I snap out of it. Today there was this woman at work, she came up to me at the break room and asked me if I'd lost a lot of weight. And so, sure, I told her all of that and introduced myself and she said, "I'm glad to know your name, I just knew you as The Weight Loss Girl."

A pretty funky thing to be, yes?

Oh yeah, the song!

It's been cold here. Damp, raw, freezing, icky. And that is SO not helping things. Yanno what happens when you lose a skeery amount of weight? Your internal thermostat goes a lil caca.

How caca?

As in, I'm cold all the time. Rain or shine, sun or snow, I am cold. 70 degrees and sunny? I'm wearing a sweatshirt and shivering. 75? I might unzip the sweatshirt. 80? Dunno if we've had 80 yet this year so I can't comment. Perhaps I'll show a daring bit of elbow.

I am cold. Cold, freezing, brr, dunk me in soup and roast me over a barbecue, please, I am chilly!

So over the weekend we shot hoops again, and this time my husband played defense. And a few times, even with his hand in my face, I made the shot! To which he said, "You're got ice water in your veins."

Well, yeah.

That explains a lot.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 6/19/2009 5:18AM

    My daughter was upset but it was TOTM for her too and she had a gain! Grrrr I know how u feel!

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WOLFKITTY 6/17/2009 5:23PM

    Cold? I guess more incentive to mooooove that body to keep warm! LOL!! Does that help by the way? I haven't had that problem yet. But, I've been struggling to acclimate myself to warm temperatures, so I'm trying!

LOL, I opened the link and my husband is here with me singing along. His high school band (Blues Brother clone) used to do this song all the time. :D

Congrats on your measurment success! Amazing progress especially considering where you are in your cycle.


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SWEETZMIX 6/16/2009 1:54PM

    That is a whole lot of booty being kicked to the curb! Congrats Ms. Weight Loss Girl!! How cool is that?!?!?!?! Also you are right, 1 week really doesn't mean squat. (Well it kinda does when u see the scale go down, u know?) Keep working hard, and stay away from the ice cream lol Well that is for me, bad PMS and ice cream is a killer for me. Keep working hard and I agree it has been a lot chiller. I am still coming to work with a light spring jacket in June. lol

Take Care

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GREENLILY 6/16/2009 12:55PM

    Crazy J! Every time I read your blog, I have to SMILE! Despite the rough spots here and there, you continue to push onward! Good for you!!! You've come a long way baby!!! Even with the fuzzy lollipops!!!

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CAPECODDIN 6/16/2009 9:01AM

    yes girlfriend.. TOM can't add up to 6 lbs of bloat!! Silly girl.... even at my age I freak out when it happens... but I am older and wiser.. so I don't binge anymore with disappointment.. So Weight Loss Girl... congrats on losing part of your butt... to be honest I never even thought to measure that darn thing... actually I don't measure anything.. hmm that might help me... keep up the GREAT work and playing hoops with the hubby!!! YOU ROCK!!!

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    I love reading about how you work it. Thanks!

What do you mean by a day of rest...? Isn't it ok to do cardio every single day?

I am amazed at how the things I read on Spark really matter and also at how dumb I can be about it for someone who is supposed to be so smart. Portion control and regular exercise I get. Did not do it but knew it. But I did not realize about sleep and sodium. Nor would I have understood just how inactive I had become. And I am struggling to get enough fiber. I am genuinely surprised at how little I knew. So I don't mind fessing up. What is your plateau busting technique?


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DUCK11 6/16/2009 12:02AM

    Wow. You should be so proud of yourself. Don't even THINK about the past week, we all have 'em. Just keep going. You are absolutely an inspiration!!!

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FIT_TERI 6/15/2009 11:42PM

    20" is amazing. Umm....and....Weight Loss Girl. How cool is that?! I think you should get a vanity license plate or something!
I live a little bit south of Southwestern CT, where it has been only somewhat less cold and rainy. What the heck is going on here?
I've told you before that I love the blog titles. And I live in CT now, but am a Jersey girl, so I especially LOVE your selection today.
If you're losing inches, it doesn't matter what the scale says week to week. So much can affect that, especially for women. But, of course, you know all that.

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LAB-LOVER 6/15/2009 10:45PM

    That's some SERIOUS real estate! Congrats. And yeah, I can relate to the weather problem. Have you considered the possibility of iron deficiency... ? I mean it IS cold here now, but I've heard that problem can make people feel cold. Just a thought...


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TUESDAYS 6/15/2009 8:53PM

    Yeah, Ms Ice Water. That happens. "Stuck" happens too. Keep at it.

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I Really Wanna Know

Monday, June 08, 2009

This song has the f-bomb in it, at around the 2 minute mark. Consider yourself duly warned, and take precautions if such things matter to you.

I chose this song because, well, I look at myself in the mirror these days and I wonder who the heck that woman is. It is so strange. I am used to seeing, well, a round face, for one thing. And less wrinkles. For that is another thing that has happened. There's a dirty little secret of weight loss. There's less filler, so you can end up appearing older. At least once you've lost a really serious amount of weight, and you're living at an age similar to mine (I happen to be 46). Hence my face, just under the eyes and in particular at the parentheses marks to either side of my mouth needs something.


Who knew Home Depot sold beauty products?

But in other, far more serious news, I seem to be finally, and with a vengeance (!) kicking this plateau's patootie. I will continue what I am doing for the entire month as I had planned and see what the final results are, but so far it appears to be very promising.

Here's what I'm doing:
* no alli
* 2 extra glasses of water/day
* steps goal (via pedometer) of 60,000/week (this past week I logged over 70,000)
* because of no alli, the ability to go to slightly naughtier restaurants and relax a bit re fat
* BUT - restaurant only once/week (as before), and tracked, and an effort to stay within calorie and nutriment ranges, as always
* full food tracking, as always
* regular weekday meals
* 10 more lbs of weights lifted at home
* but only do weights at home 4 days/week
* extra abs work (just an extra 25 situps, with no weights added) 5 days/week (I had been doing them for 3 days/week before)
* walk to a farther away bus stop in the mornings that I am going to the gym (and no home weights on those 3 days/week)
* walk up monster hill every night for commute home
* for non-gym days, walk from Newton Corner, fast (this is an extra 10 minutes of walking and twice my normal speed -- I ended up doing this 3 days instead of the planned 2 because of the bus schedule)

Here are the results:
Down 3 lbs., more than I'd lost for the previous 6 weeks COMBINED. Down a total of 150 lbs.!!!
New personal best measurements for band, hip and thigh, tied for previously attained personal best measurements for bicep and keister, and only 1/4" above the personal best for belly.

Hmm. This plateau-kickin' has some meaning. Stay tuned.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYROSE 6/10/2009 6:58PM

    Niiiice! Well done!

And I love that you're allowing a night out at the 'naughty' places (and here my mind when somewhere else when I read that... emoticon)

All thinkgs in moderation - even moderation.

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TELERIE 6/10/2009 2:36AM

    Pure inspiration! Way to go on getting off that plateau!

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LAB-LOVER 6/9/2009 9:27PM

    Congrats on kicking the plateau -- I hope to do the same this week. Though I can't really... in genuine honesty... call it a plateau. I haven't been working hard enough.


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CAREWREN 6/9/2009 4:21PM

    Great going! I am inspired! Oh, and I loved the "spackling" remark. LOL!
emoticon emoticon

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SPARKLE72023 6/9/2009 4:17PM

    By the way - - - - I loved the song!!! It brought back great memories and stirred the depths of my soul with the haunting melodies and rhythms. Thank you!

Your Jordan Louis Teamie!

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SPARKLE72023 6/9/2009 4:15PM

    WHOOOO - R - U ?

You're a wonderful person who should become one of our Spark MOTIVATORS, (if you haven't already done so)!!!

Fantastic blog. And as for the 'looking older' and 'more wrinkled' part, well unfortunately that goes with great amounts of weight loss. The rich "fix" it with surgeries. Us poor folks just thank the Lord for renewed health and don't worry about the looks too much. We're told by some SparkPeople articles that If you don't loose too much weight too fast, then there will be fewer hanging skin & wrinkle problems because the body & skin will have had time to adjust to your "new measurements." Of course it won't be perfect but to answer that provocative question: WHO ARE YOU? ..... you're more than just wrinkles and hanging skin! Those are surface features of the real you.

It's not all that comforting when you look at the mirror but you must not only successfully loose weight but also, develop a deeper & better self image - - and preferably not one that is dictated by the greedy corporate Wall Street giants!


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TRACYZABELLE 6/9/2009 6:12AM

    That is awesome!

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    WOW! I'm impressed!!! Great job, I love your plan, you are incredible and have learned a lot, and still teaching your body a few things! :) Very cool, very inspirational, THIS can be done!

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FIT_TERI 6/8/2009 8:52PM

    Wow! Congratulations to you for losing 150 lbs!! What an accomplishment. You have kicked your plateau's patootie!!
Way to go!!!! You should be very proud of yourself!!

PS. I LOVE your use of lyrics to title your posts. I am about your age (a little older - almost 48) so I am usually able to guess the song without having to listen. Just wanted to add's very clever!!

Comment edited on: 6/8/2009 8:54:04 PM

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LORIELP 6/8/2009 3:48PM

    Way to go. You put your self on a boot camp and lost those stubborn pounds that would not budge. Lorraine emoticon

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SWEETZMIX 6/8/2009 3:46PM


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WOLFKITTY 6/8/2009 11:45AM

    Look at you!! That's fantastic!! And it's wonderful you share such details to help others bust through their plateaus. You're such a great example. :D


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CANNOTFATHOM 6/8/2009 11:37AM

    Congrats on your loss and changes! Thanks for the Who song :)


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    You rock girl.

Spackling indeed.

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NOT-LEASE-LISE 6/8/2009 9:01AM

    I only have one question...
What the heck is alli???

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SDEHNKE 6/8/2009 8:43AM

    I've noticed those crags on my face too and I haven't lost near the amount of weight that you have. I've been on that dreaded plateau too but honestly, I haven't been the best little Sparker. I haven't always been tracking and then found out that I'm eating too LITTLE again. My word for this week is REFOCUS! You are doing such a great job with your weight loss and also you're great at conveying what you've learned to us. As always, YOU ROCK!!!


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KUNGFOOD 6/8/2009 8:18AM

150 pounds! Wow, Jes, you *really* are disappearing.
'Congratulations' seems like too a weak word to convey the admiration and inspiration your incredible loss inspires!
Acceptable trade. A few wrinkles for more energy and good health ANY day. Great song, inspiring post.

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    I never knew that Home Depot sold beauty products. But recently I saw something fascinating about that on the news. There is an interest among many retailers to become multi-dimensional stores. Apparently, with the recession, people aren’t shopping like they used to. So, some stores are increasing the types of things they carry. The news story I saw talked about how within the next 3-5 years, most stores will be full service carry everything stores similar to Walmart.

Oh well, keep up the great work. You're doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Then When Everything is in Roses Everything is Static

Monday, June 01, 2009

To add to the current issues in my life, my weight loss has decided to slow to a glacial pace. This not only stinks, it cries out for some fairly drastic measures. After all, I am nowhere near maintenance. A good 45 or so lbs. need to be lost before I even hit the top end of healthy BMI. I feel like yelling at my body, "We're not through yet!"

My body, of course, is not listening.

What do I mean by a glacial pace? Wellll, when I started off, and for about 11 months or so, I lost a good 10 lbs., on average, per month. Then that slowed to about 7 - 8 apiece for the following 4 months, with a bit of a surge in April when I had my appearance and its attendant insanity (I lost 7 lbs. in one week, a feat I do not imagine I will ever duplicate).

Now, though, it's a whole 'nother story. On April 20th, I weighed 200.8 lbs. Today, June 1st, I weigh 199.0, same as last week. That may not sound so bad but it's been up and down, and the pièce de resistance was 199.2, which is what I was from May 4th - 18th, and then just .2 less on May 25th and today. It's been sticking around for weeks. Here it is, 6 weeks after April 20th, and here I am, just .6 off that day's weight.

Hence alli may have (hopefully just temporarily) stopped working for me. According to the alli site, you are encouraged to only use it for 6 months as that's when you lose the most weight, but the reality is that it can work for up to 2 years. I've been using it for 1 year and 4 months plus. Hence I am close to the end of my useful time with it but not quite there, assuming all of the planets align. I realize that the 2 year dealio is an outside estimate.

But I've got to do something just the same. This is a lovely weight, and I am a size 14 when I used to be a 28 and all of that happy stuff, but the bottom line is, this is not the finish line by any means. Vanity aside, I'm still clinically obese. I refuse to take this lying down and, in fact, that's a part of the changes that need to be made.

A few ideas, mainly culled from the alli site:
1) More, and more intense, cardio.
2) Less weight training, allowing more recovery time, but more intense when I do it.
3) More water.
4) Tip the balance more toward protein than carbs, but keep the upper limits and keep the totals and the daily calorie total.
5) Go off alli for a month and see how it goes.

Putting it into practice involves the following:
1) Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, leave the house 15 minutes earlier and walk to an earlier bus stop, rather than weight train at home. Go to the gym on those days (I already do) and try for more intense cardio, e. g. faster, steeper, more resistance. Continue using resistance bands every day.
2) Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, regular lifting but w/35 lbs of weights instead of the 25 I've been using. Continue lifting as per usual at the gym, e. g. using the same machines and the same free weights there. May or may not rethink the second part of this, as that still gives me lifting every day, I just lose the at-home stuff.
3) Try for 9 - 10 glasses/day of water. This means 4.5 - 5 of the big bottles/cups versus 4.
4) Because my main protein sources are chicken, fish, beans and tofu, I'm looking at alternatives. I may end up with a third serving of dairy every day, and that will most likely come in the form of fat free yogurt as milk would make me live in the bathroom even more than I already do. Calcium has been a nutrient I've had some trouble getting enough of, so this is helpful. I also eat plenty of the protein sources I mentioned above, but I clearly need to do more. #5 will actually help with that, as I can go a little over on fat if I have to (as we all know, protein is often wedded to some fat).
5) I stopped taking alli on Sunday 5/31 and will stay off it until Sunday 7/5, AKA 5 weeks. I will continue to watch the fat and calorie content, and track. We may go to some naughtier restaurants during the time off. Of course that's not a great thing to do but my husband has been incredibly patient during this whole thing so some of that is for him. Plus I have noticed that sometimes I need to be a bit naughty to get things to work for me. Protein, again, will be pushed. E. g. if we go to Vinny Testa's (Italian, with huge portions), my strategy is to have something like chicken marsala rather than pasta, light on the sauce, plus a salad, light on the cheese, walnuts and dressing, and of course watch the portions. I don't intend to go to restaurants any more than we have been, just to a different one or ones, to see how it goes. That will be an interesting balancing act. Certainly it will be a test to be sure that I don't tank everything by doing this, plus it's good practice for maintenance, to make sure that such things don't make the whole process go kerflooey. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I also don't honestly know what I will do at the end of the 5 weeks, what I will use as a measure of success or failure. The scale, to be sure, and the tape measure, absolutely, but what else? I will not completely give up on alli as I have a good 4 months' worth of it in my house and do not wish to give it away (I'll give away clothes, but giving away drug items seems wrong, not to mention potentially illegal). Hence it doesn't truly matter to me what happens by July 5th, as I will return to taking alli, although that will probably determine whether I go on it again for a month and then off again, or do something else. But that is all in the future and need not be worried about just yet.

I love ruts and dislike change, particularly complicated changes, and this one's a doozy, but I see that I am going to have to move the slider bars on cardio versus weight training and on protein versus carbs, and this is a way of doing just that.

On July 5th, I will hopefully be at a lower initial weight than I am today, or at least have better measurements. A new adventure in the making.

We shall see.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 6/4/2009 9:08AM

    Is there any possibility you need more sleep? I've been finding that as I have increased my sleep my weight is going down. . . .

And vary the diet. I had two hotdogs and beans the other day and lost a pound the next morning. Of course it could have been the beans, not the dogs. . .


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LAB-LOVER 6/2/2009 6:58AM

    Way to shake things up! I'm doing that a bit myself, and getting back to tracking. I'll be cheering you on!


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TRACYZABELLE 6/2/2009 5:41AM

    Plateaus happen but look how far you have come! Sometimes it helps to shake up your eating regimen as well and dont forget to eat enough. I have faith in you!

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MARIE4950 6/1/2009 4:33PM

    emoticon My friend I am so proud of you!!! emoticon I think you are amazing.
Keep up the positive thoughts and actions and it will come your way.

Marie emoticon

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TUESDAYS 6/1/2009 4:02PM

    I hear ya, sistah. There seems to be a place where the body just says ENOUGH. Not to make you morose, but I've been there since February. I'm in the same situation as you are ---- not giving up, but trying other avenues. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
That said, we can count on the absolute FACT that others have others have done this before us --- and found success. I'm not going anywhere ---and I know you aren't either.
"Hang in."

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JANEEBAKER 6/1/2009 11:08AM

    I just wanted to say well done on your journey, you certainly have considered what's happening and put a plan in place to get to your goal! that's great, well done!

Good luck for the next leg of your journey, sure you'll get there, you've come so far!!!! what an inspiration to the rest of us.


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CAREWREN 6/1/2009 10:25AM

    Okay, please excuse me. I believe you can delete this if I offend you.
You have done a tremendous job! OMG! You have come so far! You have hit weights you haven't seen in 8 years or so! You have left weights you pray you will never, never see again but you know you can take nothing for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. We know all too well we can lose it but we have to keep it off. I know you are anxious to leave 199. Since I have been every weight from 130 to 252, I can relate. I can also remember when I thought 199 was as fat as a cow until I hit weights much higher and then 199 became my GOAL!

Yesterday had its wonders, its rewards (like your interviews and getting into smaller sizes) and its pains (being at higher weights, being uncomfortable and all the rest of the crap we know about) and today is a new day where you will do the best you can. You can't force your body. Your body isn't stupid. Don't get me wrong. I do understand how frustrating a plateau can be. Not only have I hit plateaus that lasted an eon or two, but I have gained weight for no discernible reason--at least no reason I could understand.

You have a great sense of humor. Use it on yourself. Laugh with wonder at what you have accomplished and smile ruefully at how hard you are on yourself and how impatient. We're all going to die some day. Might as well slow down and say thank you along the way.

You are doing fabulously, fabulously, fabulously!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NYAYNE 6/1/2009 10:15AM

    First off I really enjoyed the youtube link at the top of your blog.

Sorry to hear that you've hit a plateau. On the upside you live in one of the most walkable cities. Plan for a long walk to and fro those dinner dates. Also keep us posted as to where you went and what healthy options you found. I need a night out in the city!

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    Hi, have you read the plateau busters here on Spark? Here is the link, I read them a long time ago and just found them again.
Plateau Busters - Part 1
There are 3 article total. Maybe these will help you get past this little hump too. Good luck!

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But wait a minute, something's wrong

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Yes, something's wrong.

I cannot say, it is to protect a family member's medical privacy. It is not the family member referred to here:
That particular person recently had a good checkup, to our family's great relief.

So it is another one, and the reason for the seemingly incongruous song is because that person is overseas, yes, in Italy. It's doubly hard, to be so remote, and so worried and so distracted and, well, you know the drill. Of course what I am feeling is nothing compared to, compared to ....

It's been a few days I've known about this, and it's been reflected in my status updates, if you've been watching. Today, in the interests of somewhat further disclosure, is a better day, the best so far, with some encouraging news. Small progress, and there will be small progress, only small stuff, for a long time. It'll all come in its own sweet time, no matter how much anyone wants it to happen faster. Sound familiar?

Don't know if we'll go there. Might, might not, it depends on what happens.
Sorry if I'm distracted. It is for, well, obvious reasons, even if I'm being overly vague here, know that I appreciate you all.

Thank you for listening.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 5/31/2009 11:42AM

    First off, thank you all, and if I don't thank you individually it's nothing personal -- it's just that details right now are escaping me. My mother called me today, and wanted to know if we would be going over there and the answer was, uh, probably not. I just don't see us as being any sort of a help and, in fact, as much more of a burden. We don't speak the language, my husband doesn't drive and frankly I have little desire to drive in Italy. I just see us as being, well, no good for the situation. So ... we wait for tidbits of information. Fortunately those tidbits have turned a bit more positive lately.

So I thank you all for your good vibes. SP mojo is strong.

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LAB-LOVER 5/31/2009 8:47AM

    Good luck -- I have a friend going through some really serious medical problems, so I understand completely. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, but keep them in your thoughts and wait... My friend is doing better little by little, I hope your family member comes through too...


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JANEEBAKER 5/31/2009 1:52AM

    Fingers crossed for you and your family over these difficult times, try to stay focussed on your goal xx

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 5/30/2009 11:18PM sorry for your trouble. You inspire a lot of us. I think there is a lot of good energy headed your way tonight.


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CANNOTFATHOM 5/30/2009 8:09PM

    Sounds like you have a lot going on...I hope you get a chance to breathe. I will keep good thoughts for you and yours!


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MARCHMAID 5/30/2009 8:05PM

    Fingers crossed for you and yours. Hoping for continued progress on all fronts.


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CHERN009 5/30/2009 7:53PM

    I can tell there is a lot running through your mind. I wish you all the peace and clarity during this time to help you and your family. Take Care.

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CAREWREN 5/30/2009 7:52PM

    You're welcome! Do this as often as you like. That's what it's for. The blog benefits us all. The more honest you are and the more you use it to tell us what's up (in whatever vague or specific ways you want), the more of a benefit it is for us.

I send you support.

Comment edited on: 5/30/2009 7:53:07 PM

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Around the World, the Trip Begins with a Kiss

Monday, May 25, 2009

... and it ends with one, too.

I am back, and today also just so happens to be our 17th wedding anniversary. It's a good day and will be mainly filled with barbecuing and walking and/or playing frisbee, plus we'll probably watch the ballgame but that won't be the centerpiece of the day.

Life has changed since I started losing, and in about a billion ways, many of them subtle. It sometimes seems trivial to note them but they aren't trivial. They add up to meaning. They amass into something. There is there, there.

What's new? Well, for one thing, I'm wearing a pair of size 14 shorts, and a size L tee shirt that is oh so tiny. Two years ago, I'd've been wearing a pair of size 3x or 4x shorts, that is assuming I would've wanted to bare my legs at all, and they would have ridden up the insides of my thighs every time I walked. You know what I'm talking about. And my shirt would have been a nondescript tent in a size, um, 2x, maybe a 3x. Not a lot of choices when you get up there.

I used to shop by fit first, then color and style. There weren't a lot of things up there so I needed to get the cloth to cover my body. Then I'd worry about how it might actually look on me. Now, dare I say it? I actually think of ... style.

It's not a dirty word.

And the barbecue! Check it out! Today's menu: cod, skinless chicken breast, tofu, Yukon Gold potatoes with skin, peppers, three different kinds of mushrooms, onions (all of the aforementioned will go on the grill), and a delightful side salad, served with a skim milk smoothie. The grill stuff is marinated in either Mrs. Dash's salt-free stuff or a combo of balsamic vinegar, garlic and celery seed.

How will the homemade marinade taste? Helfino. But it's an experiment. What's not to love? It's all good stuff.

Most of the food will hit the freezer when the day is done. We'll have barbecue for months, and will add more to the stash as the Summer goes on. There's just something about pulling out barbecue for dinner when it's snowing outside.

And this morning -- it's all affected by my weight loss, or rather by my journey. An omelet made with Egg Beaters. Extra veggies. No, wait, more veggies! Fruit! Fiber One bread with jam!

Oh yeah -- water water water and more where that came from.

How does losing weight affect me? How has the loss affected me? Oh there's more, gentle reader. So much more.

Like walking between tables at a crowded restaurant without having to turn to the side in order to fit. Like paying less for clothes. Like going to a gym instead of hauling myself home for an afternoon of chips, napping and the PC. Like chatting up the fishmonger and getting something good and good for me, and experimenting with new tastes, rather than staying in the same old rut. Like having a former coworker hit on me ("I see your wedding ring is on your middle finger now. Does that mean you're separated?" Uh, no, it means that's the only finger it currently fits on, but nice try just the same.). Like bigger and wackier things like my story being published in my company's newsletter. Like waking up and grabbing the weights first thing, instead of something else. After all, a day without lifting weights is like a day without sunshine, isn't it?

When you look at yourself in a passing mirror, and think, hey, there's less there. Or, get this -- I was standing at the bus stop downtown, eating an apple after having gone to the gym, and caught my reflection in a passing bus. But I initially didn't know it was me. And then I put it together -- apple, that woman was eating an apple. That woman is normal-sized. She's not stuffing herself into clothes as if they were sausage casings. She's not looked at with disdain by anyone because she dares to eat something in public (even something healthy, don't kid yourself, there are people who are nasty enough to make a comment even on THAT if you're obese). She's just a gal.

I am her and she is me, and that faraway look you see in my eyes is me focusing in on my goal like a laser beam.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 5/28/2009 1:13PM

    I'm crying, just a bit.... Wonderful blog.
I'm so happy for you!

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CAREWREN 5/27/2009 9:35AM

    Thank you for writing this. I can sooo relate. But, first off, happy anniversary!

I, too, first go by fit. I am looking forward to the day when I can, once again, go by style and not buy something just because it covers my body adequately. And, yes, I would NOT wear shorts and yes they would ride up! I think the below sentence of yours says it well:

"I am her and she is me, and that faraway look you see in my eyes is me focusing in on my goal like a laser beam."

Again, emoticon and emoticon happy anniversary!

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KUNGFOOD 5/27/2009 7:35AM

    Well done. (Blog *and* BBQ marinade!)
Thanks for sharing that startling self-perception.

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19ANNIE56 5/26/2009 4:46PM

  what a great blog! and it came just when i needed the boost. thanks so much

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CHERN009 5/26/2009 4:04PM

    I loved your blog! It serves as a great reminder to us all of the many reasons why we chose to live healthier lives and all the perks that go along with it!

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TUESDAYS 5/26/2009 1:29PM

    Tell me you're keeping all these posts for the book. (Ya better...) The passion is contagious, girlfriend. Your voice shouldn't go unheard... emoticon

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TELERIE 5/26/2009 12:45PM

    Your awesomeness is showing in all you write! Thanks for the cheerful blog, and I love the list of changes you have seen! I recognize a lot of them myself!

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GREENLILY 5/26/2009 10:31AM

    What an amazing and wonderful journey you have been on! Keep sparkling!


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SANDILEE27 5/26/2009 8:29AM

    Wonderful blog! A great reminder that all of the struggle is worth it!

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MARCHMAID 5/26/2009 5:42AM

    Fun to read and a cheerful beginning to my morning! Thanks for the continuing inspiration and congratulations on your continuing success! emoticon

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LAB-LOVER 5/25/2009 9:28PM

    Neat blog -- I love your list of changes you've seen.
I've got one of my own from my closet and drawer purge today.... smaller clothes take up less room in your drawers!


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SWEETZMIX 5/25/2009 7:25PM

    I don't understand those people who look at your weird when you are eating in public. I hate that but gotten over it. haha

You have changed and that is awesome. Just one of many reasons to keep going :)

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MODESTA 5/25/2009 4:49PM

    Your Blog really inspired me to get my tush in gear, I haven't been 100% serious until I read this story. You sound like the happiest girl in the world. I just loved the part where you said: Helfino! lol thats going to be my next favorite word.

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TORNADOGIRL 5/25/2009 3:33PM

    Wonderful blog !! You have done a terrific job transforming your whole self !

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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CANNOTFATHOM 5/25/2009 2:08PM

    Great blog! Kudos to you and your hard work!


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GRANIJANI 5/25/2009 1:41PM

    I loved reading this!!! emoticon

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LISADIVI 5/25/2009 10:58AM

    Wow that really made me think. Thank you for sharing.

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4OURBOY 5/25/2009 10:22AM


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