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The Trees Went by, Me and Del Were Singin' "Little Runaway"; I Was Flyin'

Friday, June 26, 2009

Yesterday I ran a road race for the very first time. It was the Corporate Challenge in Boston, see:
for a good look at the route.

This is not something that I ever thought I would do. Not in a trillion years. Not in ten trillion. Running hurt. Running was boring. Running was tiring. Running was mindless. And, truth be told, I didn't run the course that much, only about 10 - 15 minutes out of 1 hour, 4 minutes and 4 seconds.

But I still did it.

Now, I am tired today. And my pains are in some expected places (hello, ankles, calves and hips) and unexpected ones (hello, back, huh?). And no pain in an area where I truly feared it would be: my shins. See, way back, a year and a half ago, I'd walk for maybe 5 minutes and I'd get shin splints.

They are suddenly, miraculously, cured.

Heck, at this point my shins are pretty much the only things staying together.

My husband asked me this morning, "So, what doesn't hurt?"

My fingers.

They do not hurt.

Hence I am typing to all of you, to tell you about this. And it's hysterical because I'm almost as excited as I was about the TV thing (true story: a remote coworker of mine called me up yesterday for work purposes but we got to a lull so she asked me, "Been on any talk shows lately?" Er, not recently, you silly gal).

There were 15 people on our office team. And I undoubtedly came in last of all of us, although I was far from last in the overall race.

I had my husband's iPod knockoff with me so I was listening to music. One of the first songs I heard was Bob Seger's "Rock and Roll Never Forgets". Every time I heard, "... and now Sweet Sixteen has turned thirty-one...", I'd sprint. Except I saw 41 five years ago, almost six. Eh, it's the thought that counts.

Farther along, they played a block of David Bowie. This included "Golden Years". And I decided to jog for all of it. I just looked it up; it's about 3 1/2 minutes long. If it was "Space Oddity", I'd be in more calf pain -- that one's over 5 minutes long.

I accepted water from a little girl who was volunteering with her family, then promptly poured it over my hands and face (I had a water bottle of tea with me; I was anything but dehydrated). It's fun to take the water; makes you feel like the real thing, like you're in the Olympics. Farther along, a bunch of prep schoolboys were handing out water. They told every woman who ran by that she was beautiful. That made me smile, even though I could practically be their granny at this point in my life.

The far turn was back around The Public Garden and there were people out walking their dogs (the race started at 7:15 PM, so by this time it was after 8 PM). I gave a fast pat to a lovely Dalmatian and then it was time to focus on finishing.

I came around the turn and there was the end, with two electronic clocks hung on an overpass. Even with my glasses on, it was hard for me to tell how much time had elapsed although I estimated around an hour. When I got closer, I saw it was one hour and three minutes and change. I sprinted, tried to finish before it hit one hour and four minutes but missed that very slightly.

Raised my arms over my head in a V for victory at the one hour, four minutes, four seconds mark. When I had signed up, I had honestly thought the whole thing would take me an hour and a half to two hours.

And what happened to me yesterday is something extraordinary.

Running is not mindless. It is not boring.


It teaches you many, many interesting things, and I was finally receptive to them and I have finally learned them.

I am stronger than I thought I was.
I can be stronger still.
I haven't broken the light-speed barrier yet, but so long as I'm working on that, it's all good.
I have never had a runner's high and it's possible I never will, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the experience.
A little pain stinks, but the more you do of this running business, the less pain you'll have.
The pain fades, the memory does not.
My new lucky number is the one I wore: 6827. It is a prime number.
If you keep tea, tunes, a handkerchief and a pedometer with you, you're golden.
Taking a second to pet a cute dog never hurts.
The water station volunteers are exceptional people.
You can take a great tour of the city bouncing along at 3.5 MPH.
You get a free tee shirt (I ended up with two; one for the race and one designed by my company).
No matter how fast you went, or whether you ever do it again, you can forever say you are a runner.
I look kinda cute in shorts.

And I'm already thinking of when I'm gonna do this again.

C'mon and join me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLISCIOUS 7/7/2009 10:02PM

    I've been stalking around in yer blogs...just had to comment on this one. Thanks for sharing this first 5K experience. I lead a little Spark Team called Pensacola Sparkers. Imma recommend they visit your page for inspiration! Sure inspired me!

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KUNGFOOD 7/7/2009 7:33PM

    You can never have too many race t-shirts.
emoticon emoticon

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GREENLILY 6/29/2009 9:51AM

    Awesome!!! The Flying J!!! :)

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TRACYZABELLE 6/28/2009 5:18AM

    Who cares if you came in last.... YOU DID IT!! How awesome!!

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    This is so completely inspiring! Yanno, someday I am going to do this behind you.

Way to go girl. And I love that you stopped to pat the dog along the way. Better than smelly flowers.

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LAB-LOVER 6/26/2009 9:28PM

    Oh YEAH! And I love your list of learnings... you'll add lots more to it too... you're doing great! And it feels to me like you've been bitten by the bug... you're gonna do this again, oh YEAH!

So... me and QUIRKLES are thinking about doing the Artesani 5K in Boston on July 4th or 5th -- can't remember which... it's along the Charles. Nice flat scenic course.

You in? There's time to recover!

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TRUE_TEXAN 6/26/2009 5:21PM

    I really enjoy running in road races I am never a competitor but once I get past the nerves I usually enjoy the experience. And I did write a blog not too long ago called "My index finger feels great".. so it's funny you said that!! haha congrats and great job!! Do it again! Tiff

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FIT_TERI 6/26/2009 11:42AM

    That is awesome. Congratulations!!

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SPARKLE72023 6/26/2009 11:01AM

    Awesome . . . now we have another SPARK CHAMPION to celebrate!!!
So . . . when's your next Marathon? emoticon

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TUESDAYS 6/26/2009 10:52AM

    Yeah GIRL! I loved, loved, loved this blog! SO much fun to see/hear your accomplishments, even if only in my mind's eye. Wow...what a day...

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NYAYNE 6/26/2009 10:12AM

    You did great. Wish I was there with a Boston for you to pet!

Actually I wish I was running/walking next to you it sounds like it was a great time.

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KARBIE18 6/26/2009 10:08AM

    Great blog. Glad your fingers were in good enough condition to share! Way to go on your first road race! You should be very proud of yourself.

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ALEXSGIRL1 6/26/2009 9:33AM

    what a cute positive blog. congrats for you for running and even doing the race. you are awesome. your a good writer also. emoticon emoticon

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TELERIE 6/26/2009 8:50AM

    I'm so incredibly proud of you! And I'm also looking to do it again after my race this June! Such good fun!

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Meant For Someone Else, But Not For Me

Monday, June 22, 2009

Being semi-off a plateau, but not thrilled about that, and being less than happy when Summer begins, are two things that really should cause the universe to scream out and say, "Why, you ungrateful wretch!"

Well, yah. Duh.

I had over a month of plateauing, so three weeks ago I decided to change things up. The first week, I lost. Second week, I regained almost 2/3 of that (let's blame TOM). This week, I lost more, gained the ground from the first week and surpassed it. Lowest numbers yet!

Yet I was and am less than happy. Huh?

And then, well, today, I was getting dressed for work, and I figured, what the hell, and pulled on a pair of size 10 pants. Now, they stretch (thank you, Lee Jean/Pant/whatever company). And I have a mini-muffin top going on. But they fit, and I can tuck my shirt and not feel like I look like golfer John Daly pre-stomach stapling surgery (Google his pics, if you dare. Don't say you haven't been warned).

And I was okay with that, certainly not unhappy, but not turning cartwheels. Plus I got some lovely comments, here and on my site and on Facebook, about new pics, new milestones hit, etc.

I should feel fantastic.

Yet I am, well, I'm okay.

I guess some of it is just from it being still a tough slog. Or from it being, well, months away even if my current weight loss rate remains relatively constant. Or from having sent a note to a Plastic Surgeon, and wondering how all of that is going to go down. There is a finish line out there, and I can kinda, sorta see it. And it excites me and frightens me, all at the same time.

Everyone tells me I should feel amazing. And I do feel better. But it's not always perfection. There are plenty of down days. So I've started taking St. John's Wort again, something I thought I'd never do in the Summer as I love the Summer. But it's been cold as hell for weeks. I doesn't feel like Summer. It feels like gnarly, chilly, wet, stinky late Autumn. You know, when the trees are bare and the sky is the color of a battleship and you start seeing snow shovels and rock salt for sale? Yeah. It's felt like that. And I've gotten all of the attendent internal feelings that go along with it.

Not so easy to admit to myself that I am so affected, but I am. They call it Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it makes sense in January. But in June it just seems like so much ingratitude. Like my body and my mind don't know what the heck is happening but are dragging the me part along for the ride. And I don't want to go, but I'm strapped in anyway.

So forgive me if I am not turning cartwheels, and I seem ungrateful and strange, and aloof and remote, and even with an optimistic song -- for I do feel that as well -- some of it is also a slight bit of, well, believe it or not, sorrow. I have said before that I don't know who I am any more. And sometimes I don't, and that is hard to take. I identified in this manner, as an oh so big person, for so very, very long. It is hard to break out of that.

************ Quick Interlude To Talk About Numbers And Do The Month In Review Thing

151.4 lbs. off since January of 2008. Down from size 28 to size 10, more or less officially.
Measurements are decent, at or close to most personal best levels. Energy levels are good. Getting hit on, on occasion, which amuses me. Able to handle the hunger. Able to change things up enough to hack away at a plateau, even if the hacking is imperfect. Size 10 pants, size 7 panties, mediums all over the place. All systems more or less a go. ************

And now here's where I really show how strong my geek hand is:

In the book, _2001_ (not the movie!), Sir Arthur C. Clarke talks about the ape-men and the effect that the monolith is having on them. And he wrote the most extraordinary thing. He wrote, "The very atoms of his simple brain were being changed." And that's what is happening to me. On an atomic level, hell, let's go for broke, on the subatomic, quark and meson level, I am going through alterations. The electrons are being made to bang a uey and my consciousness is kinda losing its way a little. No wonder I've got identity issues; the whole shooting match is being changed up. Over, under, sideways, down.

I do hope that's coherent and I don't sound any wackier than, well, than usual.

I appreciate your kindnesses more than you may know. And I do feel good, mostly. But there's still that pain that comes from flipping around the neurons. All I can tell you is that I am sure that I do believe. Not just in plateau-busting and in Spark and in the powers of exercise and diet and positive thinking. But in that person who looks back at me when I glance in a mirror.

Whoever the hell that is.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KSIGMA1222 6/24/2009 2:44PM


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JESPAH 6/24/2009 7:52AM

    I'm plonking this here because it's so apropos and so I can find it again. Yes, it's scientific and everything, I am not making this up. It is the second-dimmest June on record in the Boston area and we are gunning for the #1 spot. See:

They've been keeping the records since something like 1889. This is not a happy record to be breaking.

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TELERIE 6/23/2009 4:25PM

    You know - you don't have to apologize for how you feel. I got a similar feeling recently, when I had to get a new ID card at work. I asked them to take a new photo, and comparing the two is mind-numbing. I should be proud and happy about the change, and I guess I am - but I am also sad and wonder who I am now.

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TRUE_TEXAN 6/23/2009 9:37AM

    I feel the same way sometimes! Like I don't know how to feel in my own skin. I have been at this for almost 3 yrs and just cannot seem to get to my goal weight and it's more than frustrating. You have lost so much weight and it's truly inspiring! Keep on plugging along and keep that chin up! Tiff

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SPARKLE72023 6/23/2009 8:34AM

    If you live in the So. California area, I can understand you suffering from SADD right now. They're having the "June Gloom" weather thing & the sun keeps hiding itself.
HANG IN THERE - - - it will get better !!!!

You're still doing great with the weight loss.
I hope you can cheer up some so that you can appreciate YOURSELF more!!!


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    Am I ever glad you wrote about this. Thanks.

I have a disconnect from the person I saw in the mirror for the last 15 years. I kept thinking I was going to see someone thin. I was always unpleasantly surprised. And along the way I started to pick up a touch of shame. And a dribble of denial.

After reading your blog this morning I am thinking that getting fitter and thinner won't completely change my moodiness. Eating my self into a stupor did not help. Exercise really does help a lot but there are times and challenging situations when it does not go far enough. Anxiety is my personal demon. And I have a dose of it today as I await biopsy results that are going to be whatever they are going to be. Anxiety is not helping at all.

So I guess for today I have to remember that this feeling will pass.

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LAB-LOVER 6/23/2009 6:56AM

    Whether or not you feel amazing, you ARE amazing, and don't forget that! You have really transformed yourself... I can relate to not being sure who that person is in the mirror -- and I've lost less than 1/2 the weight that you have. I think that when we "identify" ourselves as fat people for so much of our lives, it is really, really hard to get used to the idea of "not fat" -- I had that thought standing in front of a roomful of people recently and intend to blog about it at some point. I've had this negative conversation going on with myself about 80% of the time about how I was the fattest person in the room, at the pool party, wherever... and now that's just... gone. And now I'm not sure what conversation to have!

Hang in there... this weather is DREADFUL. But those mesons are looking pretty spectacular, even if they are a tad damp!

Comment edited on: 6/23/2009 6:58:03 AM

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TRACYZABELLE 6/23/2009 6:05AM

    WOW! you have lost a person! You are oing great.. cheer up!

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KUNGFOOD 6/22/2009 9:43PM

    emoticon emoticon Sorry you're feeling SAD (no joke).
The wheel keeps turning...

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FIT_TERI 6/22/2009 7:54PM

    Hey there. I wouldn't underestimate the impact of the weather on how you're feeling. So what if it is not January. I don't know very much about Seasonal Affective Disorder except to know that it is related to sunlight - or lack thereof. And we've had so very little of that. I am not affected myself, but I do notice that my mood, energy levels seem to have been impacted.

Something you wrote struck me. "Everyone tells me I should feel amazing". But, you know, you don't need to feel the way people think you should. You feel the way you feel. And I don't believe there's a need to ask forgiveness for that.

You have accomplished very much, and you will continue to do so. I don't know - maybe you just need to give your brain some time to catch up with it all. Hopefully, getting it out of your head and onto "paper" helps some.

Of course, the sun coming & staying out couldn't hurt either! emoticon

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Well Everybody Better Move Over, That's All

Monday, June 15, 2009

It's been a second week since I started my plateau-bustin' ways, and this week was not the happy slam dunk that the last one was.

I regained about 2/3 of what I lost the previous week, despite doing what I was supposed to, but the reality is that a few things are happening. As in TOM (ugh), both later meals were shifted way too late yesterday, plus I didn't have a rest day (it was supposed to be yesterday, but instead we went to the Arboretum with friends and walked for 2 1/2 hours. It was fun).

Hence, well, the scale didn't work out for me this week. That happens.

Measurements are okay except for my big ole butt.

Because ....

wait for it ...

it hit a new personal best, for the first time in almost 2 months ...

by 3/4 of an inch.

It is now 44 1/2". When you consider that, when I started out, it was 64", that's pretty amazing. Yeah, I've lost almost 20" of keister real estate.

I'm feeling okay, considering that I gained plus I've had serious and nasty PMS. So I'll be fine, I know I will. This is why I wanted to do the plateau-busting experiment for a little over a month. Because one week definitely does not tell the tale.

It's also funny. Every time I feel ready to feel sorry for myself, or rail against the weight loss gods for giving me the fuzzy end of the lollipop (extra points for whoever gets that reference), something happens and I snap out of it. Today there was this woman at work, she came up to me at the break room and asked me if I'd lost a lot of weight. And so, sure, I told her all of that and introduced myself and she said, "I'm glad to know your name, I just knew you as The Weight Loss Girl."

A pretty funky thing to be, yes?

Oh yeah, the song!

It's been cold here. Damp, raw, freezing, icky. And that is SO not helping things. Yanno what happens when you lose a skeery amount of weight? Your internal thermostat goes a lil caca.

How caca?

As in, I'm cold all the time. Rain or shine, sun or snow, I am cold. 70 degrees and sunny? I'm wearing a sweatshirt and shivering. 75? I might unzip the sweatshirt. 80? Dunno if we've had 80 yet this year so I can't comment. Perhaps I'll show a daring bit of elbow.

I am cold. Cold, freezing, brr, dunk me in soup and roast me over a barbecue, please, I am chilly!

So over the weekend we shot hoops again, and this time my husband played defense. And a few times, even with his hand in my face, I made the shot! To which he said, "You're got ice water in your veins."

Well, yeah.

That explains a lot.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 6/19/2009 5:18AM

    My daughter was upset but it was TOTM for her too and she had a gain! Grrrr I know how u feel!

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WOLFKITTY 6/17/2009 5:23PM

    Cold? I guess more incentive to mooooove that body to keep warm! LOL!! Does that help by the way? I haven't had that problem yet. But, I've been struggling to acclimate myself to warm temperatures, so I'm trying!

LOL, I opened the link and my husband is here with me singing along. His high school band (Blues Brother clone) used to do this song all the time. :D

Congrats on your measurment success! Amazing progress especially considering where you are in your cycle.


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SWEETZMIX 6/16/2009 1:54PM

    That is a whole lot of booty being kicked to the curb! Congrats Ms. Weight Loss Girl!! How cool is that?!?!?!?! Also you are right, 1 week really doesn't mean squat. (Well it kinda does when u see the scale go down, u know?) Keep working hard, and stay away from the ice cream lol Well that is for me, bad PMS and ice cream is a killer for me. Keep working hard and I agree it has been a lot chiller. I am still coming to work with a light spring jacket in June. lol

Take Care

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GREENLILY 6/16/2009 12:55PM

    Crazy J! Every time I read your blog, I have to SMILE! Despite the rough spots here and there, you continue to push onward! Good for you!!! You've come a long way baby!!! Even with the fuzzy lollipops!!!

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CAPECODDIN 6/16/2009 9:01AM

    yes girlfriend.. TOM can't add up to 6 lbs of bloat!! Silly girl.... even at my age I freak out when it happens... but I am older and wiser.. so I don't binge anymore with disappointment.. So Weight Loss Girl... congrats on losing part of your butt... to be honest I never even thought to measure that darn thing... actually I don't measure anything.. hmm that might help me... keep up the GREAT work and playing hoops with the hubby!!! YOU ROCK!!!

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    I love reading about how you work it. Thanks!

What do you mean by a day of rest...? Isn't it ok to do cardio every single day?

I am amazed at how the things I read on Spark really matter and also at how dumb I can be about it for someone who is supposed to be so smart. Portion control and regular exercise I get. Did not do it but knew it. But I did not realize about sleep and sodium. Nor would I have understood just how inactive I had become. And I am struggling to get enough fiber. I am genuinely surprised at how little I knew. So I don't mind fessing up. What is your plateau busting technique?


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DUCK11 6/16/2009 12:02AM

    Wow. You should be so proud of yourself. Don't even THINK about the past week, we all have 'em. Just keep going. You are absolutely an inspiration!!!

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FIT_TERI 6/15/2009 11:42PM

    20" is amazing. Umm....and....Weight Loss Girl. How cool is that?! I think you should get a vanity license plate or something!
I live a little bit south of Southwestern CT, where it has been only somewhat less cold and rainy. What the heck is going on here?
I've told you before that I love the blog titles. And I live in CT now, but am a Jersey girl, so I especially LOVE your selection today.
If you're losing inches, it doesn't matter what the scale says week to week. So much can affect that, especially for women. But, of course, you know all that.

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LAB-LOVER 6/15/2009 10:45PM

    That's some SERIOUS real estate! Congrats. And yeah, I can relate to the weather problem. Have you considered the possibility of iron deficiency... ? I mean it IS cold here now, but I've heard that problem can make people feel cold. Just a thought...


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TUESDAYS 6/15/2009 8:53PM

    Yeah, Ms Ice Water. That happens. "Stuck" happens too. Keep at it.

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I Really Wanna Know

Monday, June 08, 2009

This song has the f-bomb in it, at around the 2 minute mark. Consider yourself duly warned, and take precautions if such things matter to you.

I chose this song because, well, I look at myself in the mirror these days and I wonder who the heck that woman is. It is so strange. I am used to seeing, well, a round face, for one thing. And less wrinkles. For that is another thing that has happened. There's a dirty little secret of weight loss. There's less filler, so you can end up appearing older. At least once you've lost a really serious amount of weight, and you're living at an age similar to mine (I happen to be 46). Hence my face, just under the eyes and in particular at the parentheses marks to either side of my mouth needs something.


Who knew Home Depot sold beauty products?

But in other, far more serious news, I seem to be finally, and with a vengeance (!) kicking this plateau's patootie. I will continue what I am doing for the entire month as I had planned and see what the final results are, but so far it appears to be very promising.

Here's what I'm doing:
* no alli
* 2 extra glasses of water/day
* steps goal (via pedometer) of 60,000/week (this past week I logged over 70,000)
* because of no alli, the ability to go to slightly naughtier restaurants and relax a bit re fat
* BUT - restaurant only once/week (as before), and tracked, and an effort to stay within calorie and nutriment ranges, as always
* full food tracking, as always
* regular weekday meals
* 10 more lbs of weights lifted at home
* but only do weights at home 4 days/week
* extra abs work (just an extra 25 situps, with no weights added) 5 days/week (I had been doing them for 3 days/week before)
* walk to a farther away bus stop in the mornings that I am going to the gym (and no home weights on those 3 days/week)
* walk up monster hill every night for commute home
* for non-gym days, walk from Newton Corner, fast (this is an extra 10 minutes of walking and twice my normal speed -- I ended up doing this 3 days instead of the planned 2 because of the bus schedule)

Here are the results:
Down 3 lbs., more than I'd lost for the previous 6 weeks COMBINED. Down a total of 150 lbs.!!!
New personal best measurements for band, hip and thigh, tied for previously attained personal best measurements for bicep and keister, and only 1/4" above the personal best for belly.

Hmm. This plateau-kickin' has some meaning. Stay tuned.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYROSE 6/10/2009 6:58PM

    Niiiice! Well done!

And I love that you're allowing a night out at the 'naughty' places (and here my mind when somewhere else when I read that... emoticon)

All thinkgs in moderation - even moderation.

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TELERIE 6/10/2009 2:36AM

    Pure inspiration! Way to go on getting off that plateau!

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LAB-LOVER 6/9/2009 9:27PM

    Congrats on kicking the plateau -- I hope to do the same this week. Though I can't really... in genuine honesty... call it a plateau. I haven't been working hard enough.


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CAREWREN 6/9/2009 4:21PM

    Great going! I am inspired! Oh, and I loved the "spackling" remark. LOL!
emoticon emoticon

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SPARKLE72023 6/9/2009 4:17PM

    By the way - - - - I loved the song!!! It brought back great memories and stirred the depths of my soul with the haunting melodies and rhythms. Thank you!

Your Jordan Louis Teamie!

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SPARKLE72023 6/9/2009 4:15PM

    WHOOOO - R - U ?

You're a wonderful person who should become one of our Spark MOTIVATORS, (if you haven't already done so)!!!

Fantastic blog. And as for the 'looking older' and 'more wrinkled' part, well unfortunately that goes with great amounts of weight loss. The rich "fix" it with surgeries. Us poor folks just thank the Lord for renewed health and don't worry about the looks too much. We're told by some SparkPeople articles that If you don't loose too much weight too fast, then there will be fewer hanging skin & wrinkle problems because the body & skin will have had time to adjust to your "new measurements." Of course it won't be perfect but to answer that provocative question: WHO ARE YOU? ..... you're more than just wrinkles and hanging skin! Those are surface features of the real you.

It's not all that comforting when you look at the mirror but you must not only successfully loose weight but also, develop a deeper & better self image - - and preferably not one that is dictated by the greedy corporate Wall Street giants!


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TRACYZABELLE 6/9/2009 6:12AM

    That is awesome!

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    WOW! I'm impressed!!! Great job, I love your plan, you are incredible and have learned a lot, and still teaching your body a few things! :) Very cool, very inspirational, THIS can be done!

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FIT_TERI 6/8/2009 8:52PM

    Wow! Congratulations to you for losing 150 lbs!! What an accomplishment. You have kicked your plateau's patootie!!
Way to go!!!! You should be very proud of yourself!!

PS. I LOVE your use of lyrics to title your posts. I am about your age (a little older - almost 48) so I am usually able to guess the song without having to listen. Just wanted to add's very clever!!

Comment edited on: 6/8/2009 8:54:04 PM

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LORIELP 6/8/2009 3:48PM

    Way to go. You put your self on a boot camp and lost those stubborn pounds that would not budge. Lorraine emoticon

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SWEETZMIX 6/8/2009 3:46PM


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WOLFKITTY 6/8/2009 11:45AM

    Look at you!! That's fantastic!! And it's wonderful you share such details to help others bust through their plateaus. You're such a great example. :D


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CANNOTFATHOM 6/8/2009 11:37AM

    Congrats on your loss and changes! Thanks for the Who song :)


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    You rock girl.

Spackling indeed.

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NOT-LEASE-LISE 6/8/2009 9:01AM

    I only have one question...
What the heck is alli???

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SDEHNKE 6/8/2009 8:43AM

    I've noticed those crags on my face too and I haven't lost near the amount of weight that you have. I've been on that dreaded plateau too but honestly, I haven't been the best little Sparker. I haven't always been tracking and then found out that I'm eating too LITTLE again. My word for this week is REFOCUS! You are doing such a great job with your weight loss and also you're great at conveying what you've learned to us. As always, YOU ROCK!!!


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KUNGFOOD 6/8/2009 8:18AM

150 pounds! Wow, Jes, you *really* are disappearing.
'Congratulations' seems like too a weak word to convey the admiration and inspiration your incredible loss inspires!
Acceptable trade. A few wrinkles for more energy and good health ANY day. Great song, inspiring post.

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    I never knew that Home Depot sold beauty products. But recently I saw something fascinating about that on the news. There is an interest among many retailers to become multi-dimensional stores. Apparently, with the recession, people aren’t shopping like they used to. So, some stores are increasing the types of things they carry. The news story I saw talked about how within the next 3-5 years, most stores will be full service carry everything stores similar to Walmart.

Oh well, keep up the great work. You're doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Then When Everything is in Roses Everything is Static

Monday, June 01, 2009

To add to the current issues in my life, my weight loss has decided to slow to a glacial pace. This not only stinks, it cries out for some fairly drastic measures. After all, I am nowhere near maintenance. A good 45 or so lbs. need to be lost before I even hit the top end of healthy BMI. I feel like yelling at my body, "We're not through yet!"

My body, of course, is not listening.

What do I mean by a glacial pace? Wellll, when I started off, and for about 11 months or so, I lost a good 10 lbs., on average, per month. Then that slowed to about 7 - 8 apiece for the following 4 months, with a bit of a surge in April when I had my appearance and its attendant insanity (I lost 7 lbs. in one week, a feat I do not imagine I will ever duplicate).

Now, though, it's a whole 'nother story. On April 20th, I weighed 200.8 lbs. Today, June 1st, I weigh 199.0, same as last week. That may not sound so bad but it's been up and down, and the pièce de resistance was 199.2, which is what I was from May 4th - 18th, and then just .2 less on May 25th and today. It's been sticking around for weeks. Here it is, 6 weeks after April 20th, and here I am, just .6 off that day's weight.

Hence alli may have (hopefully just temporarily) stopped working for me. According to the alli site, you are encouraged to only use it for 6 months as that's when you lose the most weight, but the reality is that it can work for up to 2 years. I've been using it for 1 year and 4 months plus. Hence I am close to the end of my useful time with it but not quite there, assuming all of the planets align. I realize that the 2 year dealio is an outside estimate.

But I've got to do something just the same. This is a lovely weight, and I am a size 14 when I used to be a 28 and all of that happy stuff, but the bottom line is, this is not the finish line by any means. Vanity aside, I'm still clinically obese. I refuse to take this lying down and, in fact, that's a part of the changes that need to be made.

A few ideas, mainly culled from the alli site:
1) More, and more intense, cardio.
2) Less weight training, allowing more recovery time, but more intense when I do it.
3) More water.
4) Tip the balance more toward protein than carbs, but keep the upper limits and keep the totals and the daily calorie total.
5) Go off alli for a month and see how it goes.

Putting it into practice involves the following:
1) Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, leave the house 15 minutes earlier and walk to an earlier bus stop, rather than weight train at home. Go to the gym on those days (I already do) and try for more intense cardio, e. g. faster, steeper, more resistance. Continue using resistance bands every day.
2) Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, regular lifting but w/35 lbs of weights instead of the 25 I've been using. Continue lifting as per usual at the gym, e. g. using the same machines and the same free weights there. May or may not rethink the second part of this, as that still gives me lifting every day, I just lose the at-home stuff.
3) Try for 9 - 10 glasses/day of water. This means 4.5 - 5 of the big bottles/cups versus 4.
4) Because my main protein sources are chicken, fish, beans and tofu, I'm looking at alternatives. I may end up with a third serving of dairy every day, and that will most likely come in the form of fat free yogurt as milk would make me live in the bathroom even more than I already do. Calcium has been a nutrient I've had some trouble getting enough of, so this is helpful. I also eat plenty of the protein sources I mentioned above, but I clearly need to do more. #5 will actually help with that, as I can go a little over on fat if I have to (as we all know, protein is often wedded to some fat).
5) I stopped taking alli on Sunday 5/31 and will stay off it until Sunday 7/5, AKA 5 weeks. I will continue to watch the fat and calorie content, and track. We may go to some naughtier restaurants during the time off. Of course that's not a great thing to do but my husband has been incredibly patient during this whole thing so some of that is for him. Plus I have noticed that sometimes I need to be a bit naughty to get things to work for me. Protein, again, will be pushed. E. g. if we go to Vinny Testa's (Italian, with huge portions), my strategy is to have something like chicken marsala rather than pasta, light on the sauce, plus a salad, light on the cheese, walnuts and dressing, and of course watch the portions. I don't intend to go to restaurants any more than we have been, just to a different one or ones, to see how it goes. That will be an interesting balancing act. Certainly it will be a test to be sure that I don't tank everything by doing this, plus it's good practice for maintenance, to make sure that such things don't make the whole process go kerflooey. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I also don't honestly know what I will do at the end of the 5 weeks, what I will use as a measure of success or failure. The scale, to be sure, and the tape measure, absolutely, but what else? I will not completely give up on alli as I have a good 4 months' worth of it in my house and do not wish to give it away (I'll give away clothes, but giving away drug items seems wrong, not to mention potentially illegal). Hence it doesn't truly matter to me what happens by July 5th, as I will return to taking alli, although that will probably determine whether I go on it again for a month and then off again, or do something else. But that is all in the future and need not be worried about just yet.

I love ruts and dislike change, particularly complicated changes, and this one's a doozy, but I see that I am going to have to move the slider bars on cardio versus weight training and on protein versus carbs, and this is a way of doing just that.

On July 5th, I will hopefully be at a lower initial weight than I am today, or at least have better measurements. A new adventure in the making.

We shall see.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 6/4/2009 9:08AM

    Is there any possibility you need more sleep? I've been finding that as I have increased my sleep my weight is going down. . . .

And vary the diet. I had two hotdogs and beans the other day and lost a pound the next morning. Of course it could have been the beans, not the dogs. . .


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LAB-LOVER 6/2/2009 6:58AM

    Way to shake things up! I'm doing that a bit myself, and getting back to tracking. I'll be cheering you on!


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TRACYZABELLE 6/2/2009 5:41AM

    Plateaus happen but look how far you have come! Sometimes it helps to shake up your eating regimen as well and dont forget to eat enough. I have faith in you!

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MARIE4950 6/1/2009 4:33PM

    emoticon My friend I am so proud of you!!! emoticon I think you are amazing.
Keep up the positive thoughts and actions and it will come your way.

Marie emoticon

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TUESDAYS 6/1/2009 4:02PM

    I hear ya, sistah. There seems to be a place where the body just says ENOUGH. Not to make you morose, but I've been there since February. I'm in the same situation as you are ---- not giving up, but trying other avenues. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
That said, we can count on the absolute FACT that others have others have done this before us --- and found success. I'm not going anywhere ---and I know you aren't either.
"Hang in."

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JANEEBAKER 6/1/2009 11:08AM

    I just wanted to say well done on your journey, you certainly have considered what's happening and put a plan in place to get to your goal! that's great, well done!

Good luck for the next leg of your journey, sure you'll get there, you've come so far!!!! what an inspiration to the rest of us.


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CAREWREN 6/1/2009 10:25AM

    Okay, please excuse me. I believe you can delete this if I offend you.
You have done a tremendous job! OMG! You have come so far! You have hit weights you haven't seen in 8 years or so! You have left weights you pray you will never, never see again but you know you can take nothing for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. We know all too well we can lose it but we have to keep it off. I know you are anxious to leave 199. Since I have been every weight from 130 to 252, I can relate. I can also remember when I thought 199 was as fat as a cow until I hit weights much higher and then 199 became my GOAL!

Yesterday had its wonders, its rewards (like your interviews and getting into smaller sizes) and its pains (being at higher weights, being uncomfortable and all the rest of the crap we know about) and today is a new day where you will do the best you can. You can't force your body. Your body isn't stupid. Don't get me wrong. I do understand how frustrating a plateau can be. Not only have I hit plateaus that lasted an eon or two, but I have gained weight for no discernible reason--at least no reason I could understand.

You have a great sense of humor. Use it on yourself. Laugh with wonder at what you have accomplished and smile ruefully at how hard you are on yourself and how impatient. We're all going to die some day. Might as well slow down and say thank you along the way.

You are doing fabulously, fabulously, fabulously!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NYAYNE 6/1/2009 10:15AM

    First off I really enjoyed the youtube link at the top of your blog.

Sorry to hear that you've hit a plateau. On the upside you live in one of the most walkable cities. Plan for a long walk to and fro those dinner dates. Also keep us posted as to where you went and what healthy options you found. I need a night out in the city!

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    Hi, have you read the plateau busters here on Spark? Here is the link, I read them a long time ago and just found them again.
Plateau Busters - Part 1
There are 3 article total. Maybe these will help you get past this little hump too. Good luck!

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