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Then When Everything is in Roses Everything is Static

Monday, June 01, 2009

To add to the current issues in my life, my weight loss has decided to slow to a glacial pace. This not only stinks, it cries out for some fairly drastic measures. After all, I am nowhere near maintenance. A good 45 or so lbs. need to be lost before I even hit the top end of healthy BMI. I feel like yelling at my body, "We're not through yet!"

My body, of course, is not listening.

What do I mean by a glacial pace? Wellll, when I started off, and for about 11 months or so, I lost a good 10 lbs., on average, per month. Then that slowed to about 7 - 8 apiece for the following 4 months, with a bit of a surge in April when I had my appearance and its attendant insanity (I lost 7 lbs. in one week, a feat I do not imagine I will ever duplicate).

Now, though, it's a whole 'nother story. On April 20th, I weighed 200.8 lbs. Today, June 1st, I weigh 199.0, same as last week. That may not sound so bad but it's been up and down, and the pièce de resistance was 199.2, which is what I was from May 4th - 18th, and then just .2 less on May 25th and today. It's been sticking around for weeks. Here it is, 6 weeks after April 20th, and here I am, just .6 off that day's weight.

Hence alli may have (hopefully just temporarily) stopped working for me. According to the alli site, you are encouraged to only use it for 6 months as that's when you lose the most weight, but the reality is that it can work for up to 2 years. I've been using it for 1 year and 4 months plus. Hence I am close to the end of my useful time with it but not quite there, assuming all of the planets align. I realize that the 2 year dealio is an outside estimate.

But I've got to do something just the same. This is a lovely weight, and I am a size 14 when I used to be a 28 and all of that happy stuff, but the bottom line is, this is not the finish line by any means. Vanity aside, I'm still clinically obese. I refuse to take this lying down and, in fact, that's a part of the changes that need to be made.

A few ideas, mainly culled from the alli site:
1) More, and more intense, cardio.
2) Less weight training, allowing more recovery time, but more intense when I do it.
3) More water.
4) Tip the balance more toward protein than carbs, but keep the upper limits and keep the totals and the daily calorie total.
5) Go off alli for a month and see how it goes.

Putting it into practice involves the following:
1) Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, leave the house 15 minutes earlier and walk to an earlier bus stop, rather than weight train at home. Go to the gym on those days (I already do) and try for more intense cardio, e. g. faster, steeper, more resistance. Continue using resistance bands every day.
2) Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, regular lifting but w/35 lbs of weights instead of the 25 I've been using. Continue lifting as per usual at the gym, e. g. using the same machines and the same free weights there. May or may not rethink the second part of this, as that still gives me lifting every day, I just lose the at-home stuff.
3) Try for 9 - 10 glasses/day of water. This means 4.5 - 5 of the big bottles/cups versus 4.
4) Because my main protein sources are chicken, fish, beans and tofu, I'm looking at alternatives. I may end up with a third serving of dairy every day, and that will most likely come in the form of fat free yogurt as milk would make me live in the bathroom even more than I already do. Calcium has been a nutrient I've had some trouble getting enough of, so this is helpful. I also eat plenty of the protein sources I mentioned above, but I clearly need to do more. #5 will actually help with that, as I can go a little over on fat if I have to (as we all know, protein is often wedded to some fat).
5) I stopped taking alli on Sunday 5/31 and will stay off it until Sunday 7/5, AKA 5 weeks. I will continue to watch the fat and calorie content, and track. We may go to some naughtier restaurants during the time off. Of course that's not a great thing to do but my husband has been incredibly patient during this whole thing so some of that is for him. Plus I have noticed that sometimes I need to be a bit naughty to get things to work for me. Protein, again, will be pushed. E. g. if we go to Vinny Testa's (Italian, with huge portions), my strategy is to have something like chicken marsala rather than pasta, light on the sauce, plus a salad, light on the cheese, walnuts and dressing, and of course watch the portions. I don't intend to go to restaurants any more than we have been, just to a different one or ones, to see how it goes. That will be an interesting balancing act. Certainly it will be a test to be sure that I don't tank everything by doing this, plus it's good practice for maintenance, to make sure that such things don't make the whole process go kerflooey. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I also don't honestly know what I will do at the end of the 5 weeks, what I will use as a measure of success or failure. The scale, to be sure, and the tape measure, absolutely, but what else? I will not completely give up on alli as I have a good 4 months' worth of it in my house and do not wish to give it away (I'll give away clothes, but giving away drug items seems wrong, not to mention potentially illegal). Hence it doesn't truly matter to me what happens by July 5th, as I will return to taking alli, although that will probably determine whether I go on it again for a month and then off again, or do something else. But that is all in the future and need not be worried about just yet.

I love ruts and dislike change, particularly complicated changes, and this one's a doozy, but I see that I am going to have to move the slider bars on cardio versus weight training and on protein versus carbs, and this is a way of doing just that.

On July 5th, I will hopefully be at a lower initial weight than I am today, or at least have better measurements. A new adventure in the making.

We shall see.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 6/4/2009 9:08AM

    Is there any possibility you need more sleep? I've been finding that as I have increased my sleep my weight is going down. . . .

And vary the diet. I had two hotdogs and beans the other day and lost a pound the next morning. Of course it could have been the beans, not the dogs. . .


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LAB-LOVER 6/2/2009 6:58AM

    Way to shake things up! I'm doing that a bit myself, and getting back to tracking. I'll be cheering you on!


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TRACYZABELLE 6/2/2009 5:41AM

    Plateaus happen but look how far you have come! Sometimes it helps to shake up your eating regimen as well and dont forget to eat enough. I have faith in you!

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MARIE4950 6/1/2009 4:33PM

    emoticon My friend I am so proud of you!!! emoticon I think you are amazing.
Keep up the positive thoughts and actions and it will come your way.

Marie emoticon

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TUESDAYS 6/1/2009 4:02PM

    I hear ya, sistah. There seems to be a place where the body just says ENOUGH. Not to make you morose, but I've been there since February. I'm in the same situation as you are ---- not giving up, but trying other avenues. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
That said, we can count on the absolute FACT that others have others have done this before us --- and found success. I'm not going anywhere ---and I know you aren't either.
"Hang in."

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JANEEBAKER 6/1/2009 11:08AM

    I just wanted to say well done on your journey, you certainly have considered what's happening and put a plan in place to get to your goal! that's great, well done!

Good luck for the next leg of your journey, sure you'll get there, you've come so far!!!! what an inspiration to the rest of us.


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CAREWREN 6/1/2009 10:25AM

    Okay, please excuse me. I believe you can delete this if I offend you.
You have done a tremendous job! OMG! You have come so far! You have hit weights you haven't seen in 8 years or so! You have left weights you pray you will never, never see again but you know you can take nothing for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. We know all too well we can lose it but we have to keep it off. I know you are anxious to leave 199. Since I have been every weight from 130 to 252, I can relate. I can also remember when I thought 199 was as fat as a cow until I hit weights much higher and then 199 became my GOAL!

Yesterday had its wonders, its rewards (like your interviews and getting into smaller sizes) and its pains (being at higher weights, being uncomfortable and all the rest of the crap we know about) and today is a new day where you will do the best you can. You can't force your body. Your body isn't stupid. Don't get me wrong. I do understand how frustrating a plateau can be. Not only have I hit plateaus that lasted an eon or two, but I have gained weight for no discernible reason--at least no reason I could understand.

You have a great sense of humor. Use it on yourself. Laugh with wonder at what you have accomplished and smile ruefully at how hard you are on yourself and how impatient. We're all going to die some day. Might as well slow down and say thank you along the way.

You are doing fabulously, fabulously, fabulously!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NYAYNE 6/1/2009 10:15AM

    First off I really enjoyed the youtube link at the top of your blog.

Sorry to hear that you've hit a plateau. On the upside you live in one of the most walkable cities. Plan for a long walk to and fro those dinner dates. Also keep us posted as to where you went and what healthy options you found. I need a night out in the city!

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    Hi, have you read the plateau busters here on Spark? Here is the link, I read them a long time ago and just found them again.
Plateau Busters - Part 1
There are 3 article total. Maybe these will help you get past this little hump too. Good luck!

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But wait a minute, something's wrong

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Yes, something's wrong.

I cannot say, it is to protect a family member's medical privacy. It is not the family member referred to here:
That particular person recently had a good checkup, to our family's great relief.

So it is another one, and the reason for the seemingly incongruous song is because that person is overseas, yes, in Italy. It's doubly hard, to be so remote, and so worried and so distracted and, well, you know the drill. Of course what I am feeling is nothing compared to, compared to ....

It's been a few days I've known about this, and it's been reflected in my status updates, if you've been watching. Today, in the interests of somewhat further disclosure, is a better day, the best so far, with some encouraging news. Small progress, and there will be small progress, only small stuff, for a long time. It'll all come in its own sweet time, no matter how much anyone wants it to happen faster. Sound familiar?

Don't know if we'll go there. Might, might not, it depends on what happens.
Sorry if I'm distracted. It is for, well, obvious reasons, even if I'm being overly vague here, know that I appreciate you all.

Thank you for listening.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 5/31/2009 11:42AM

    First off, thank you all, and if I don't thank you individually it's nothing personal -- it's just that details right now are escaping me. My mother called me today, and wanted to know if we would be going over there and the answer was, uh, probably not. I just don't see us as being any sort of a help and, in fact, as much more of a burden. We don't speak the language, my husband doesn't drive and frankly I have little desire to drive in Italy. I just see us as being, well, no good for the situation. So ... we wait for tidbits of information. Fortunately those tidbits have turned a bit more positive lately.

So I thank you all for your good vibes. SP mojo is strong.

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LAB-LOVER 5/31/2009 8:47AM

    Good luck -- I have a friend going through some really serious medical problems, so I understand completely. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, but keep them in your thoughts and wait... My friend is doing better little by little, I hope your family member comes through too...


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JANEEBAKER 5/31/2009 1:52AM

    Fingers crossed for you and your family over these difficult times, try to stay focussed on your goal xx

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 5/30/2009 11:18PM sorry for your trouble. You inspire a lot of us. I think there is a lot of good energy headed your way tonight.


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CANNOTFATHOM 5/30/2009 8:09PM

    Sounds like you have a lot going on...I hope you get a chance to breathe. I will keep good thoughts for you and yours!


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MARCHMAID 5/30/2009 8:05PM

    Fingers crossed for you and yours. Hoping for continued progress on all fronts.


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CHERN009 5/30/2009 7:53PM

    I can tell there is a lot running through your mind. I wish you all the peace and clarity during this time to help you and your family. Take Care.

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CAREWREN 5/30/2009 7:52PM

    You're welcome! Do this as often as you like. That's what it's for. The blog benefits us all. The more honest you are and the more you use it to tell us what's up (in whatever vague or specific ways you want), the more of a benefit it is for us.

I send you support.

Comment edited on: 5/30/2009 7:53:07 PM

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Around the World, the Trip Begins with a Kiss

Monday, May 25, 2009

... and it ends with one, too.

I am back, and today also just so happens to be our 17th wedding anniversary. It's a good day and will be mainly filled with barbecuing and walking and/or playing frisbee, plus we'll probably watch the ballgame but that won't be the centerpiece of the day.

Life has changed since I started losing, and in about a billion ways, many of them subtle. It sometimes seems trivial to note them but they aren't trivial. They add up to meaning. They amass into something. There is there, there.

What's new? Well, for one thing, I'm wearing a pair of size 14 shorts, and a size L tee shirt that is oh so tiny. Two years ago, I'd've been wearing a pair of size 3x or 4x shorts, that is assuming I would've wanted to bare my legs at all, and they would have ridden up the insides of my thighs every time I walked. You know what I'm talking about. And my shirt would have been a nondescript tent in a size, um, 2x, maybe a 3x. Not a lot of choices when you get up there.

I used to shop by fit first, then color and style. There weren't a lot of things up there so I needed to get the cloth to cover my body. Then I'd worry about how it might actually look on me. Now, dare I say it? I actually think of ... style.

It's not a dirty word.

And the barbecue! Check it out! Today's menu: cod, skinless chicken breast, tofu, Yukon Gold potatoes with skin, peppers, three different kinds of mushrooms, onions (all of the aforementioned will go on the grill), and a delightful side salad, served with a skim milk smoothie. The grill stuff is marinated in either Mrs. Dash's salt-free stuff or a combo of balsamic vinegar, garlic and celery seed.

How will the homemade marinade taste? Helfino. But it's an experiment. What's not to love? It's all good stuff.

Most of the food will hit the freezer when the day is done. We'll have barbecue for months, and will add more to the stash as the Summer goes on. There's just something about pulling out barbecue for dinner when it's snowing outside.

And this morning -- it's all affected by my weight loss, or rather by my journey. An omelet made with Egg Beaters. Extra veggies. No, wait, more veggies! Fruit! Fiber One bread with jam!

Oh yeah -- water water water and more where that came from.

How does losing weight affect me? How has the loss affected me? Oh there's more, gentle reader. So much more.

Like walking between tables at a crowded restaurant without having to turn to the side in order to fit. Like paying less for clothes. Like going to a gym instead of hauling myself home for an afternoon of chips, napping and the PC. Like chatting up the fishmonger and getting something good and good for me, and experimenting with new tastes, rather than staying in the same old rut. Like having a former coworker hit on me ("I see your wedding ring is on your middle finger now. Does that mean you're separated?" Uh, no, it means that's the only finger it currently fits on, but nice try just the same.). Like bigger and wackier things like my story being published in my company's newsletter. Like waking up and grabbing the weights first thing, instead of something else. After all, a day without lifting weights is like a day without sunshine, isn't it?

When you look at yourself in a passing mirror, and think, hey, there's less there. Or, get this -- I was standing at the bus stop downtown, eating an apple after having gone to the gym, and caught my reflection in a passing bus. But I initially didn't know it was me. And then I put it together -- apple, that woman was eating an apple. That woman is normal-sized. She's not stuffing herself into clothes as if they were sausage casings. She's not looked at with disdain by anyone because she dares to eat something in public (even something healthy, don't kid yourself, there are people who are nasty enough to make a comment even on THAT if you're obese). She's just a gal.

I am her and she is me, and that faraway look you see in my eyes is me focusing in on my goal like a laser beam.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 5/28/2009 1:13PM

    I'm crying, just a bit.... Wonderful blog.
I'm so happy for you!

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CAREWREN 5/27/2009 9:35AM

    Thank you for writing this. I can sooo relate. But, first off, happy anniversary!

I, too, first go by fit. I am looking forward to the day when I can, once again, go by style and not buy something just because it covers my body adequately. And, yes, I would NOT wear shorts and yes they would ride up! I think the below sentence of yours says it well:

"I am her and she is me, and that faraway look you see in my eyes is me focusing in on my goal like a laser beam."

Again, emoticon and emoticon happy anniversary!

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KUNGFOOD 5/27/2009 7:35AM

    Well done. (Blog *and* BBQ marinade!)
Thanks for sharing that startling self-perception.

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19ANNIE56 5/26/2009 4:46PM

  what a great blog! and it came just when i needed the boost. thanks so much

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CHERN009 5/26/2009 4:04PM

    I loved your blog! It serves as a great reminder to us all of the many reasons why we chose to live healthier lives and all the perks that go along with it!

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TUESDAYS 5/26/2009 1:29PM

    Tell me you're keeping all these posts for the book. (Ya better...) The passion is contagious, girlfriend. Your voice shouldn't go unheard... emoticon

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TELERIE 5/26/2009 12:45PM

    Your awesomeness is showing in all you write! Thanks for the cheerful blog, and I love the list of changes you have seen! I recognize a lot of them myself!

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GREENLILY 5/26/2009 10:31AM

    What an amazing and wonderful journey you have been on! Keep sparkling!


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SANDILEE27 5/26/2009 8:29AM

    Wonderful blog! A great reminder that all of the struggle is worth it!

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MARCHMAID 5/26/2009 5:42AM

    Fun to read and a cheerful beginning to my morning! Thanks for the continuing inspiration and congratulations on your continuing success! emoticon

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LAB-LOVER 5/25/2009 9:28PM

    Neat blog -- I love your list of changes you've seen.
I've got one of my own from my closet and drawer purge today.... smaller clothes take up less room in your drawers!


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SWEETZMIX 5/25/2009 7:25PM

    I don't understand those people who look at your weird when you are eating in public. I hate that but gotten over it. haha

You have changed and that is awesome. Just one of many reasons to keep going :)

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MODESTA 5/25/2009 4:49PM

    Your Blog really inspired me to get my tush in gear, I haven't been 100% serious until I read this story. You sound like the happiest girl in the world. I just loved the part where you said: Helfino! lol thats going to be my next favorite word.

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TORNADOGIRL 5/25/2009 3:33PM

    Wonderful blog !! You have done a terrific job transforming your whole self !

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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CANNOTFATHOM 5/25/2009 2:08PM

    Great blog! Kudos to you and your hard work!


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GRANIJANI 5/25/2009 1:41PM

    I loved reading this!!! emoticon

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LISADIVI 5/25/2009 10:58AM

    Wow that really made me think. Thank you for sharing.

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4OURBOY 5/25/2009 10:22AM


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See Chameleon

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It's time for the month in review. And, since I'll be off to Cape Cod for a few days with the Dude, I may not be around much until Monday or so. The laptop will be with us but I really just want it to check food and directions.

Without further ado.

It has been, eek, one year and four months since I started alli, and close to one year and three months since I started Spark.


I started off at 346 lbs. I am now 199.2. I've been stuck at that weight for a few weeks but it's under 200 so I'm happy.


Bicep 12.5" This is tied for a personal best. Originally, it was 19", so it's down 6.5"
Bust 41" Originally, it was 55", so it's down 14" Good golly, Miss Molly!
Band 35.75" Originally, it was 47.5", so it's down 11.75"
Waist 35.75" Originally, it was 49", so it's down 13.25"
Belly 39" Originally, it was 59.5", so it's down an astounding 20.5"
Keister 46.25" Originally, it was 64", so it's down a pretty dang cool 17.75"
Hip 42.75" Originally, it was 54.5", so it's down 11.75" This is lagging as my belly continues to drop. It'll be at my knees before the end of this journey.
Thigh 22" Originally, it was 32.5", so it's down 10.5"

My average inch loss is 13.125" (over a foot, baby!)
My average inch loss without the outlyers (Bicep and thigh) is 14 2/3"

No wonder I don't have to turn to the side to get by anywhere near as often as I used to.


Oh, WOW.

I started off as a 3x/4x/26/28 up top and a 4x/28 below.

I am currently a 14 all around but the other day I got on (as in, zipped AND buttoned!) two pairs of size 10 slacks.

Now, they were stretchy and all, plus I had not just a muffin top but the whole dang bakery.


They will be wearable by the end of the Summer if not earlier.

As for up top, Mediums are a hit or miss right now. I bought myself a Land's End size Medium (10-12) Winter jacket for next year. Except for having to scootch it just a tad on the hips, it already fits.

Anybody want/need a nice size 1X systems-style (it's a Columbia Sportswear knockoff) Winter Jacket? It's blue and white and very warm.

Oh and I also started off as a 44DD (really should have been a 52D, but I was too vain to actually buy a bra that fit me back then).

I am now a 38C. Ooh la la ....

Body Reconfiguration

Aside from the obvious info re sizes and measurements, my body is absolutely changing. With my remaining belly fat sliding into my hip area, I've ended up with what is not hard to see as a flat-esque stomach, a characteristic I have never had, not even when I was 16.

My face continues to get more angular, and resembles how I looked in High School. I am a 1979 graduate.

And I weighed 124 then.

Holy cow.

Fun Stuff

Hey, I was actually on television!

I feel like I've mentioned it a thousand times already, but I really and truly was. See:
Spark People set it up, with a huge shoutout and thank you to GrantM, publicist extraordinaire and all-around cool dude. Please show him some love -- he does a lot of fantastic things around here and they mostly go unnoticed.

So, it is, right now, weird as anything to mention the TV thing and know that I've done it. But it does offer some renewed motivation. And, as a result, I also ended up being mentioned in my company newsletter. Now, I swear this is true, I've had people from other departments ask me what I eat for breakfast.


With warmer weather coming (someday), the chicken soup meal had to be put into semi-retirement until October or so. Who wants soup on a hot day?

Hence I concocted a tomato-coconut curry sauce. It's fabulous over rice. The new replacement meal will be chicken, tofu, brown rice, mixed vegetables and the aforementioned sauce. We'll enjoy the whole meal (we've just been dabbling with the sauce so far) in a couple of weeks. Can't miss bean week, dontcha know.


I continue to make sure I visit my gym three days per week. If I don't work at the end of the week, I cram three days of the gym into the start of the week, and vice versa. I do feel that a rest day in between is helpful. And it's not like I rest or anything: I still lift weights and walk. But three days in a row (like I did this week) is still somewhat tiring for me.

The average amount of calories I burn in a typical gym session is about 325 and rising. When I started off, it was around 200 calories less than that for the same amount of time.

I have also been grabbing more fitness opportunities. Going out to play frisbee with Mr. J. Getting off a stop or two before mine. Walking around downtown with my mentor. Jogging to the printer. Fitness is all around, you just have to grab it.


I feel pretty good. I am around 55 above my goal and, since I've been plateauing a bit, that's something of a drag. But I am otherwise doing marvelously well if I do say so myself, and I'm happily looking for newer and better ways to do what needs to be done.
While I love Boston Terriers, maybe my avatar really should be a chameleon.

Off to the Cape.

PS I urge you to click the Youtube link and see just how cheesy a video can be. The dang thing's got cholesterol!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 5/24/2009 3:18PM

    Hope you don't mind but I came home to a mountain of what to do -- individual love is there -- I just be too tired right now. Sleep hugs! Zzzz ;)

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MARCHMAID 5/23/2009 4:34AM

    This is so amazing. Makes me tired and hungry just reading it. (Just kidding.) Simple congratulations don't seem enough. But you have mine! Good golly, if you can do it maybe I can too--isn't that what they all say?


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NYAYNE 5/22/2009 9:00AM

    The first word that came to mind, inspiration. Keep up the great work.
You have motivated me to kick it up a notch!

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KUNGFOOD 5/21/2009 8:13PM

    Ever mindful of PostScripts, I came back by to check out Slade.
emoticon emoticon

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LAB-LOVER 5/21/2009 7:23PM

    Fabulous! Congratulations on all that you've done to re-make your body and your mind! It does slow down as you approach goal, but I'm trying to think of it as practice in maintaining!

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KSGROTHE 5/21/2009 4:47PM

    emoticon You're doing great!

As a child of the 80's (graduated in '89), I vaguely remember that song, but I don't think I ever saw that cheesy video before! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

Keep up the good work!

- Karen

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SWEETZMIX 5/21/2009 3:46PM

    Janet I will check out the video posted on Grant's blog when I get home from work. I hope you enjoy your time away & don't use the cpu unless it's necessary. Enjoy yourself. I love your transformation!! Just amazing..keep working hard. And like KUNGFOOD said, it is just the beginning for you!!

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TELERIE 5/21/2009 2:56PM

    Have a great vacation - I'll look forward to your next update on the life of the incredible shrinking woman. You continue to inspire!

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    You are so awesome. Have a great time and have some fun. What a journey you have had. Amazing weight loss and attitude. You are living the life. Pam

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GREENLILY 5/21/2009 10:19AM

    The Amazing J!!! :) Have a lovely vacation... You deserve it! :)

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KUNGFOOD 5/21/2009 9:11AM

    Astounding and awesome. That's just the beginning of the alphabet of praises that I'm sending your way. Beautiful, babe!
emoticon emoticon
Have fun, drive safely.

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    Fantastic month (and more) in review. Just what I needed this morning.

I am headed to the Cape tomorrow night. Can't wait. Neither can silly Milly. I hope to follow your footsteps in more ways than a trip to the Cape.

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I Know You're a Real Koo Koo

Monday, May 18, 2009

Well, maybe you aren't. But I know I surely am.

It's inevitable, I suppose. It's that all of the things that make me up as quirky or odd have also manifested themselves in my weight loss journey. And that's not a bad thing.

When I first started, I absolutely hated, hated, hated the idea of drinking water. Water? Brr and blech, at the same time. Cold and bland was not going to cut it, and keep in mind that I started in January. In New England. Ice was not going to be in my vocabulary unless I was slipping on it in front of my neighbor's driveway.

So I changed it up, and realized that the water did not have to be barely warm enough to be liquid for it to provide me with a benefit. Now, it's not absolutely, positively 100% ultra stupendously perfect. It would be, I suppose, if it were cold as anything, and not have a decaf tea bag dunked in it, or sweetener thrown in it, or a flavor stick dissolved in it. Yes, if it were frigid and bland, I might -- just might, if I was really good and lucky and the stars and planets were all properly aligned -- lose .0000000000001% more weight than the way I have it, which is either boiling or close to it, with one or more of the aforesaid flavor options going on.

But I don't care. It doesn't matter. The flavor sticks, the steam, the sweetener, they make it possible for me to drink the water. Take them away and virtually no water is drunk. So which is worse? A flavor stick and a higher temperature, or no water? Gee, whaddaya think?

Same with the bottle or cup. For me it's about ritual. It's not exactly a Japanese tea service, but I like having my mugs. My bottles. My little sticks all lined up and ready to go. My tea bags. I sound like I've got OCD, but it helps me to remember -- drink four of these and the daily water requirements are done.

Walking isn't always easy to fit in. So I get off two stops earlier and, get this! I don't even count it. It's just serendipity. I pretend to myself that the bus broke down or it was going express and that was the closest I could get to my home. In the meantime, I still walk.

And then there's sweets. On my page it says that a part of my plan is lying to myself about why chocolate is evil. Well, of course chocolate isn't evil. Morality doesn't enter into it. There may be less than pure morals on the part of manufacturers of foods that are not so good for us. Yeah, I'll buy that. But food? Once it's ready for the table (unless you eat exceptionally fresh -- e. g. still swimming -- sushi), it has no consciousness, no mind. But I tell myself a little story anyway. And the story goes something like this. I don't eat red meat or pork. This has been true since age 13 for red meat and since age 0 for pork. So far, so good. Hence I tell myself, when something looks particularly tempting, that it's made from lard. Look, beef-flavored cookies! Wow, how'd they put a whole ham inside a cheesecake? Amazing how it says french fries, and they seem to be made with potatoes, but didja know they're really made up of pork? That pie is really a cleverly disguised burger, dontcha know.

I push foods away from me, if I have to sit at a table with them. Sure, I can reach a foot or so, but I don't. Eh, it's too much effort. Those tortilla chips are SO far away. They could be on Mars for all I know. I cannot bring myself to make the effort to grab one. Or a dozen.

Like my friend said to me when talking about the side effects I can get from taking alli: People Need to Get Over it. And he's right. Long as I do what I'm doing, the ick factor is minimized. And I'm not going to let it stand in the way of me taking the help I need, and getting this done. I'm not going to put squeamishness ahead of my health. I'll barrel through, and get over it, and set my mind onto it in whatever way I can spin it so that I make sure to do it. That's another thing I do because it needs to be done.

So, yeah, I'm a little nuts. But the gist of it all is that I do these little things, and I follow these little rituals, and they help me to get where I need to be. And, don't be so quick to laugh -- I bet you've got a few of these, too. A special mug. The right pair of shorts. The perfect go-to recipe for just when it looks like you won't have time to do much of anything other than dive headfirst into a gallon of Rocky Road.

Whatever you need.

Whatever it takes.

Whatever works.

Even if we all look a lil weird while doing so.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMASMART 5/20/2009 3:47PM

    I like my water hot, cold and luke warm. I have kidney stones so that's just survival. Cheesecake is often maid with Gelatin which is beef so you are right. The popcorn that leaves a greasy film on the roof of you mouth.. LARD. Some cookies are also made with lard (esp those from chinese restaraunts - get the lechee nuts instead.) So when you are imagining you might not be far off.

I'm so proud of what you accomplished. And glad to wear your cast offs. It's the most amazing thing. Alli works for you, and you can do this and that is a very good thing.


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GREENLILY 5/19/2009 9:39AM

    LOL! I know EXACTLY where you are coming from! Although, personally, I've been a "nothing but water" drinker since I was a kid. Sweet drinks (unless it is lemon iced-tea) never really appealed to me... though I'm not a fan of hot drinks either. So I guess I am a bit koo koo... :)

I think we all have our "little" quirks as to what gets us through the day. For me, water must be in a GLASS glass, and cold enough to have come off an arctic glacier... If I'm trying desperately not to eat something I shouldn't have, I think about eating something that completely turns my stomach (i.e. - cheap, greasy grocery store popcorn - you know, the one that leaves a greasy coating on the roof of your mouth - ECCCKKKK) and that sometimes helps to turn me right off...

And... sometimes weird is good...


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CAPECODDIN 5/19/2009 8:08AM

    Okay... I gotta admit I had to read this 3 times to actually get it... well, I think I got it... ha ha...

Obviously you have a very powerful mind.. and can manipulate yourself in a GOOD way... keep up the good work!!


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WOLFKITTY 5/19/2009 3:13AM

    I agree, good for you! Find what works and get to it, forget the excuses! :D
Way to go!

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TELERIE 5/19/2009 2:16AM

    Whops - trigger happy fingers double posted.

Comment edited on: 5/19/2009 2:16:48 AM

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TELERIE 5/19/2009 2:16AM

    Oh, I've got plenty of quirky rituals. My morning ritual on the wii fit starts me off - I need that number to record on my excel sheet (LOL - the day isn't complete without it!) Then I fill my water bottle, snap on my pedometer, pack my HRM in my gym bag, pick up the wrapped lunch my darling makes every day for me (I'm so lucky!) and make my oatmeal.
I have my green tea when I get to work and all those things help keep me on track at the start of my day. It's even better if I manage to hit the gym before getting to the office.

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    I usually use a britta pitcher but if I have to drink bottled water , ice mountain. No offense but I hate Aquafina. It has more of a plastic bottle tate to me. If you drink tea you are supposed to drink 2 glasses of water for everyone of tea. It dehydrates you. At least that is what my Doctor says. But you need to do it your way. Whatever works for you. I have some friends who love Aquafina too. I guess it is just my taster LOL. Have a great day. Pam

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LAB-LOVER 5/18/2009 8:32PM

    Too funny... I have a ritual water bottle. Its an aquafina bottle with a wide mouth. Anything else doesn't cut it. No fancy camping store bottles for me. The plastic ones can get lost and I don't care. I buy another. Not the most "green" but it works. Spare me the Polar bottles, the Dasani, they won't do! I love my aquafina!

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