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I Believe in Miracles -- Where Ya From?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The above is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite films. And what I love about The Full Monty is that, for the most part, they're ordinary people. Not great beauties. Just people you'd see fixing your sink or waiting on your table or driving the bus. But they're sexy.

And ya know something? They're not the only ones.

Today I got home from work. It was a long day, and I was tired. I put on a new pair of size 22 Lee jeans. I tossed on a size XL 3/4 sleeve u-neck black top. And the top's a little clingy, but instead of tucking it in, I left it out, and it hugs my hips. I took a look at myself in the mirror and was taken aback. I looked at myself on the side. And, yeah, at the back.

I'm sexy.

How the heck did that ever happen?!?!??!

Who the heck replaced me, you know, ME, everybody's Mom, the IT gal, the nerdstress, going grey, thyroid failing, dental implant-wearing, glasses-sporting, paunchy ME, with that sexy gal? That gal who's 10, no, 15, no, maybe 20 (?) -- okay, 15 -- years younger than me. That gal whose hips shake. The gal with, yes, a belly, but it's like another curve. The gal with the smile, with the flashing eyes. With the nipped in waist and the rapidly disappearing booty. THAT gal. HER.

Oh my God, she's me.

She's really me.

I mean, she talks like me. She thinks like me. She acts like me. She's me.

Me, 2.0.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SISNAMIL 9/16/2008 10:41AM

    That is so funny because I have always seen you as young vibrant and yes sexy. I'm just glad you caught up with the program.

You know we could almost pass for relatives. I will just have to be your goyim sister lol.

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JESPAH 9/14/2008 6:05PM

    Ponies?! Awesome! :)

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WALLOWA 9/14/2008 1:36PM

    I ran across your post and the links in your ticker/ID box amused me greatly, so I came exploring here to see who oh who had this quirky sense of humor -- not only that, but you're workin' it, girlfriend.

Best wishes to you and all here... Kathy in eXtreme NE Oregon at the end of the road, where no human hand has ever set foot...

You tickle my sense of humor. Keep on keepin on

58 degrees, sunny, and the ponies are calling for their treats...

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CANNOTFATHOM 9/14/2008 12:00PM

    WTG! I think sometimes it isn't how one looks...but how they feel :)


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NEWKIM1 9/12/2008 7:42PM

    You so rock! What a great day for you! One of your ah ha moments! And do you want to know what is the coolest thing ever...everyone who knows you has already seen that part of you...before the weight loss...they saw the real you and now you are as well! Yeah you!!!

Hope you have a great weekend!

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TANSHAN1 9/12/2008 12:57AM

    Congrats on seeing the you that is so true! You are beautiful!

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MERAINA 9/11/2008 6:23PM

    Rock on Done Girl!
Love it... you are showing your Doneness!

Keep on Dancing,

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JESPAH 9/11/2008 12:15PM

    One o' these days, Tracy, I'm gonna wear a dress like the one you have on in your avatar.

One of these days.... :)

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TCEDEROTH 9/11/2008 10:26AM

    Jes, not only are you sexy, but you are beautiful too. Inside AND out. The fact that you are finally seeing that for yourself is awesome.

I so enjoy reading your blogs and watching you attain, and then surpass your goals. You are truly an inspiration.

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JESPAH 9/11/2008 5:32AM

    Thank you, thank you all.

Yeah, the kid. He's just spot on in the whole thing.

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EMMASMART 9/11/2008 12:18AM

    You keep believing it and it's keep being true.


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TUESDAYS 9/10/2008 10:36PM

    Woo hoo! You go, Girl! We're all believing in miracles these days! LOL!

Loved the clip too. I'd forgotten it. My favorite part is when the kid shields his eyes and finally just leaves. Omgosh, HOW true is that?! We are sooo embarrassing to kids. And that is half the fun...

Thanks for sharing your victory, "ewe sexy thang!" emoticon

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JESPAH 9/10/2008 8:52PM

    Oh, rent it, Mel. It's a fabulous film.

Marit, you sexy thing! :)

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MELINKY 9/10/2008 6:49PM

    I think it's wonderful that you've recognized the sexiness of you! that is a big deal. CONGRATULATIONS!
btw, I've never seen the full monty and want to, so this little trailer was great and I was laughing out loud!
Thank you for sharing.

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TELERIE 9/10/2008 6:42PM

    Who? You did that. And you're HOT. Awesome writing, made me smile and cry (happy tears)
- Marit (believes in miracles)

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There's Calm in Your Eye

Monday, September 08, 2008

Hurricane Hanna came and went and here it was just a lot of rain and frankly there's been more rain at other times. This is not to diminish what it did to others but for us it was just ... eh.

I've been through real hurricanes, the kind where trees come down, and this was not much at all. Then again this is Massachusetts which by definition is very remote from tropical waters. It has to have a pretty specific trajectory to really do damage here. We get Nor'easters, sure, and those are essentially snow hurricanes and they can be awful. So call me in six months when I'm getting whacked with the umpteenth storm of the season.

The actual day was very humid but we went out walking anyway. It was one of those days where you just got hot and sticky pretty much no matter what you did. I don't love getting hot and sticky but this wasn't bad. If there was a day (not during a blizzard) to blow off exercising, it was that day. But I didn't.

And it paid off this morning. I smacked down another ticker goal and have now lost over 86 lbs. There is a possibility, albeit not a certainty, that I will lose another 4.8 in the next two weeks. If I do, then I've lost 90 lbs. for the Bar Mitzvah. Pretty amazing for someone who originally thought, okay, I'll lose 60 in a year. Then it was 60 for the Bar Mitzvah. And now it's looking like it'll be close to 50% more than even that.

I paged through some catalogs today, and while that in itself is not terribly remarkable, I did it with an eye to wearing not 20s or 22s but 18s. I tried on an 18 blazer I have at home as an aspiration and it fit but was a tad snug in the arms and the bottom was a bit stretched when I buttoned it. So that's close. It'll arrive in a month, maybe less, I figure. Some of my measurements are up, the bicep is down (new personal best! yay!) but no matter. The trend is going down, down, down.

Oh and that catalog? In another three or four sizes, it'll be useless to me as everything in it will be too big. I'll bag and recycle it like yesterday's newspapers. Goodbye to it and I won't miss it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 9/9/2008 4:56PM

    Aw, poor catalogs! Not!

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EMMASMART 9/8/2008 10:04PM

    I wonder how we ever stop the catalogpalloza that comes every day.. How will we ever teach them to quit. It must be heart breaking for them as we shrink out of range... Aawwww.

Emma emoticon

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MELINKY 9/8/2008 8:52PM

    Congratulations on lowering your ticker!
And glad to hear you only received rain and not a hurricane.

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JESPAH 9/8/2008 7:11PM

    I dunno, do you burn more cals with a nekkid workout? :)

The catalog I will dump is Jessica London. I like their stuff but they have a smaller version called Chadwick's and I am fitting into more and more stuff on that side. Plus of course there will be a ritual burning of the Lane Bryant ('scuse me, Woman Within) catalogs.

PS I like the idea of freezing off the patootie. Somewhere, somehow, someone is getting a patentable idea ... hmm ...

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TELERIE 9/8/2008 6:57PM

    That's awesome! Keep on truckin', you're doing so great!
I'm browsing catalogs for sportswear. Can you explain to me why it is so hard to find large enough sizes? I really need sportswear for colder weather so I can keep on exercising outside and can't find any! Perhaps nekkid workout is in my future. emoticon Actually, there's a catalog I might try, will keep you posted about how it works out.
- Marit

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TUESDAYS 9/8/2008 6:40PM

    I can relate to the "rain thaaang." Here in CHI-town, it was summer this morning and autumn this afternoon/evening. I wore sandals and a short-sleeved dress to see a client and ended up freezing my patootie off. (Well, maybe not OFF... THAT'd be too easy!!! ha!) But I guess we can stand the rain when others get the flying projectiles, eh?

Good news on the additional LOSS and on continually moving toward those goals. It's remarkable how much over your originals you've gone! Keep an eye on those catalogs...

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From the Morning, Past the Evening, 'Til the End of the Light

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

First off, I love, love, love this song. It's not only catchy, it actually has a little backstory. The lead singer is of Indian extraction and is from England, and the song is (in part) about Bollywood. Asha apparently means hope and that's also the first name of a Bollywood star.

So a brimful of asha is a bunch of hope. The hope cup runneth over.

Plus there's the chorus. Those cups also runneth over, heh.

And I like the video. I remember being about that age (13?) and playing a bunch of 45s. So it makes me smile.

Today I kind of had that post-birthday hangover which is not alcohol-related (even though I had a small glass of white zinfandel last night). It's more like you spend at least a little time anticipating a birthday and then the day after is, well, normal.

Normal's fine, of course; it's just not a birthday. Which is not a slam on today or normalcy or anything of the sort. I had an excellent birthday and the outpouring of notes on this page, on the blog and in private, plus on topics, plus goodies, was a little overwhelming.

And so I thank everyone.

Back to business.

Yesterday I received some clothes in the mail that I had ordered. The size 22 jeans fit like a charm. Out went an old pair of 26s. A pair of navy dress pants (size 22) was a little snug and will be usable in, I'm guessing a few weeks. But I won't toss the old pair until they're really unmanageable as I'm not in love with the new pants. Not that it matters. I won't be a 22 for too terribly long, I'm sure. I don't have a full week's worth of size 22 work pants but I'm not bad off. Might just have to wash more frequently than usual. That tends to reduce useful life but so what? Like I said, this is only one stop on a longer train ride. No biggie.

The other thing I received was my dress for the Bar Mitzvah. I tried it on, of course. It fits okay. Not great. But that's a little understandable. I had checked the size chart and knew the upper part of me would be a stretch but the bottom half would fit all right. And that's exactly what happened.

It's 3 1/2 weeks until the Bar Mitzvah so there's time to lose more weight. But I won't go nuts if I don't lose a huge amount between now and then. C'est la vie if it's not perfect. I've been a perfectionist with the weight loss. That has stood me in good stead and has helped me to really lose but there are some areas where you just need to get mellow. This is one of them. The dress is wearable and appropriate and that's what matters.

Next year, it'll be huge on me and impossible to wear, but for the opposite reason.

In the meantime, I did go through some belts and tossed two of the largest ones. I am down to a size 22 but my belts are still about a 24 or so. I think that's a function of belts having very little give to them. Still, it was a joy to toss 'em.

Getting there. Getting there. That's today's mantra.

I am getting there.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 9/5/2008 5:54AM

    Aww thank ya.

I tend to look at manufactuers'/sellers' sizing charts if I'm unsure, and then guess from there. The company's measurements for size 20 show a smaller bust and waist than I have and, sure enough, that's where it's snug. But it's not horrible. I also try to watch the fabric. If it's something like this where I know I might wear it before it being a perfect fit, I try to go for something with a little give.

And I know what you mean about altering. I don't sew but my mother keeps asking if I'm going to get anything altered, and the answer is always, not a chance. Most of the big clothes, I hated them anyway. I have better clothes now but I'm making sure not to fall in love with them. Anything I really like, I try to get a smaller size in the identical item, then toss it.

It won't be until I get really small that the clothing that I absolutely love will come out. I have a brown leather bomber jacket. I think it's a 10. I have a black leather vest (this sounds like I'm into leather but really these are the only pieces I own) and it's maybe an 8 or so. I am truly looking forward to getting back into those. :)

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TUESDAYS 9/4/2008 11:36PM

    Isn't it fun getting rid of the "big clothes?" Another of my issues is that I know how to sew --- so sometimes I think, "I could alter this." But then --- WILL I? So I'm tossing and saving randomly at times.

You're doing great at clothes-guessing. I call mine "clothes WISHing." I have a wedding to attend next month and I'm trying to figure out what will fit.... hmmmmm....

Keep it up, Girlie. You're DOIN' it!

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JESPAH 9/4/2008 7:17PM

    Dang, thank ya!

blush blush blush

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EMMASMART 9/4/2008 6:56PM

    You rock as usual. I love how sure you are about this dress being too big before long. I need to work on having that attitude for myself. For you I believe it. That dress will totally not fit by next year. I'm so happy for you.


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TELERIE 9/4/2008 6:25PM

    Belts! I need a new notch in mine. Still haven't rummaged through my wardrobe, but it sounds like fun! Will see if I can dive into it this weekend.
Let's keep on keeping on, and we'll get there!
- Marit

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Spiders in Her Pocket

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Well, I hope I don't have any in there. Better check.


Okay. Down to business.

Today is my birthday. I am 46 years old.

I do not feel 46. I feel, well, I feel great. I may be 4 years shy of a half-century but I feel more like 36 or even 26 much of the time. Funny thing is, I was on the bus today and an acquaintance of mine (a woman of my mother's generation), when I told her I was born in '62, she said, and I quote, "My, you're remarkably well-preserved." Made me smile.

I have energy and optimism. I have hope. I have dreams. I have ... some pretty dang good stuff going on right about now.

I have a great husband. I have a wonderful family. I have terrific friends. I have good health and renewed better health. I have a good job that I like and its frustrations can be worked out. I have online success with the site I help manage. I have sweet experiences in my life, every week something new or fun or fascinating or just making me smile. I have the intellectual stimulus that I always crave, I have writing, and I am doing it, not just thinking about it but doing it. I have money in the bank. I have a roof over my head, a car that works, a full fridge and a full closet.

I am very fortunate.

Every year, when this day comes around, it's my own personal New Year's Day. I take stock of what's happening, and of what's to come.

But this time, I have been taking stock all calendar year. Even before I joined SP in February, I was journaling at alli so right now I've got taken stock up the wazoo. Consider the stock duly took.

So it's party time. Enjoy the little party jukebox I've put together. Tomorrow's the time for something serious. Tonight's the night for a little fiesta.

Shake your derriere -- it's cardio.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMASMART 9/4/2008 6:59PM

    Sorry I missed your birthday. I hope it was happy. Thanks so much for everything.


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ELFITZPA 9/3/2008 10:11AM

    Happy birthday!! You have a remarkable ability to appreciate the important things in life.

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JESPAH 9/3/2008 6:36AM

    Thank you all. Helped make it an even greater day! :)

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CDCSMITH 9/3/2008 5:43AM

    Happy birthday!

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IZZIEE_E 9/2/2008 10:10PM

    Happy Birthday!!!

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-COURT- 9/2/2008 9:20PM

    I'm glad my huband didn'twalk in while I was head bobbing to the music. I heard Leslie Gore the other day and was glad to see a video of the song. I'm going back and watch the Beatle songs again. Real cool Blog, the cooliest...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


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    Happy, Happy Birthday, baby.


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JESPAH 9/2/2008 7:13PM

    Thank you both so much. :)

I'm preserved, like jam!

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MELINKY 9/2/2008 6:51PM



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TELERIE 9/2/2008 6:41PM

    Well preserved! LOL! Loved that expression!
You have a wonderful year ahead of you! Just think what stock you can take this time next year - you're doing so well!
- Marit

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My Thoughts Are With You

Monday, September 01, 2008

The game was fabulous, even though they lost. So what? It was still a blast. It always is.

Fitting into the seats was no problem whatsoever. These were cheaper, older seats so they were narrower and I was just fine. I saw lots of other folks getting up after every half inning because they were so uncomfortable. Not me.

I also visited the ladies' room a few times, which is unremarkable in and of itself, but I had to go down 32 short levels (steps) then a ramp, every time. And then up again when returning. I not only was not winded, I sprinted up as much as possible (traffic would stop me -- lotsa vendors in that area). I estimate I could sprint up 10 - 15 steps or so without tiring.

We even had light beer and I had maybe 2/3, 3/4 of mine and gave the rest to Mr. J. Vendors everywhere (ice cream, cotton candy, hot dogs, pretzels, etc.), plus all sorts of food in the concourse (sushi, cuban sandwiches, kosher dogs, enchiladas, etc.) and I didn't want any of it. We went to Bertucci's beforehand and I had one of their salads, with added chicken. It was marvelous and it was enough.

In more fitting news, I am in very good shape when it comes to measurements. Today I hit personal bests in 7 out of 8 main measurements I take (everything but the butt, and there I was at my 5th best). My overall average inch loss for the week was a little under 2". My overall average lost since I started doing this is a whopping 8.5"!

I've lost (since the start of things, back in January)
Bicep 4"
Bust 8.75" from my highest #, which was actually in late Feb.
Band 8.5"
Waist 9"
Belly 14.5"
Butt 13.75"
Hips 8.25" from my highest #, which was also in late Feb.
Thigh 6" from my highest #, which was in early March

Remove the outlyers (bicep and thigh) and my average total inch loss is a staggering 10.46"! No wonder I'm officially down three sizes.

The band measurement is, for the first time since the start of this journey, below 40". Can't wait for the butt to finally go under 50".

You really better grab my love handles before they're gone for good. It won't be long now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SISNAMIL 9/2/2008 9:48AM


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JESPAH 9/1/2008 7:16PM

    Thank you all. :)

Marit, I'll loan you mine ...

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TELERIE 9/1/2008 6:33PM

    Woohoo, way to go! It reminds me I need to find my tape measure and do a little measuring myself. I feel it on my clothes, but no numbers to report. Glad you had a fun day at the game!
- Marit

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EMMASMART 9/1/2008 4:45PM

    You Rock!


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    Wow you are doing really really good and that is nice so you can feel really really good and have lots and lots of smile.s emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MELINKY 9/1/2008 10:05AM

    Congratulations on all your inches lost~! You're doing fantastic.


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NO1JESS 9/1/2008 10:01AM

    WOW!! Way to go!! Those are very tangible results, you must be so proud! Amazing!!

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