JESPAH   184,534
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JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

In The Time of Chimpanzees I Was a Monkey

Saturday, August 30, 2008

My main news is about sizing. Right now, I am a size 20 up top and a 22 below. And that's good, of course, but I had been nervous about downsizing some of my things because discomfort in those areas would have been, heh, less than optimal.

I am speaking of intimate type stuff.

Now, I already started a little bra downsizing and it was actually not intended. I was (still am) fitting into 44D but accidentally ordered 40D about a month ago. Those two bras fit me but I do have a tendency to bulge out a bit on the side or in front if I don't more or less arc weld myself in. I can tell that the band size is just fine so it's possible that the cup size is too small. I don't relish the idea of going up, to a DD cup. I was always kinda busty but this is ridiculous. I mean, I've lost over 80 lbs. Some of that has to be coming from the, uh, breastal region.

Then there's pantyland.

I wore a size 10 for years. Years, I tell ya! And the only stuff in size 10 is cotton granny type stuff. Which is fine when (a) you don't feel sexy and (b) at least it's comfortable. But I had kept a few size 9s and even a few 8s around, dunno why. I took the plunge on Thursday, and tried on a 9.

It fit.

I have now worn 9s every day since then. I don't have enough 9s to make it through a week (and I don't want to purchase any as I'm sure I'll be going below that soon enough), but it feels good to have, I would guess, a good 2" less of material going on there. No wedgies! Size 9, I am (I guess I'm channeling Yoda now. A dieting Yoda).

Then there's the swimsuit issue.

For the Bar Mitzvah, the hotel we're staying at has a pool and a weight room. Hence all I have to do is bring the resistance bands (go-to in case time is really short). I really want to swim. But my only swimsuits are size 3x (26!). I went to Amazon and ordered a size 20. What the heck. I figured it'll be another 3 weeks or so until the big day so if it was too small it wouldn't be for long.

I tried it on. It's a little less than optimally supportive on the bust (that darn breastal region again!), and the top could be longer (probably also due to excessive bustiness) but otherwise it seems to fit just fine. I'm particularly happy about the panty area. This is a two-piece tankini type suit with an adjustable halter top. I made the halter a little looser and that seems to be better. I am bringing a second suit (which is a 26) because I may have one drying while using the other one, but I have a swimsuit. And it's 3 sizes smaller than the last one I bought.

I also ordered my dress (it hasn't arrived yet so I cannot yet comment on fit). It's a size 20. Here's a pic of it.

I do hope that pic comes out.

I'm a loser, baby. A weight loser. Know what Iím sayiní? ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/31/2008 8:45AM

    Excellent, excellent tip! Thank you!!!

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EMMASMART 8/31/2008 12:31AM

    If you go to the Macy's Lingerie department and get sized. If D is too small. Get DD and get them to sew a half moon into it. Thereby making it a D+ Also there are differnt types of cup that may work better. I personally am a 52a or b. A+ is perfect. They are very very difficult to find.


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JESPAH 8/30/2008 8:55PM

    Thank you both.

Bra bacon. I'll have to remember that. Makes sense to me. I'm already seeing some by my arms. Crepe-y stuff. It comes with major weight loss but, heh, it doesn't mean we have to like it. I'll keep lifting (I kinda like lifting now, actually). Better bacon than fat, I figure.

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TCEDEROTH 8/30/2008 3:49PM

    You go girl!

Even though I am at goal and maintaining, I still have issues with what I call "bra Bacon". There is absolutely nothing inside those sacks of skin now, emoticon, but I still have problems with stuff not stuffing, if you know what I mean. It's annoying to say the least, particularly when wearing tank tops.

I was a 44D and am now a 34C, The C only being needed to hold said empty sacks. Quite distressing is the fact that it all falls into the bottom of the cup, leaving the top empty, however, a B is too small. So far anyway. The skin is shrinking and being reclaimed slowly but surely. I'll be lucky to end up an A cup.

I found that most of it seems to be coming from the back, not the breasts, and work that area every other day. Don't forget the obliques.

I worked those areas constantly when needing to look particularly good in a certain dress in January (my profile pic. it was cut in real deep in back), and it worked out well. I slacked off after that and it came right back.

Damn bra bacon.

Janet, you're going to look fabulous.

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TELERIE 8/30/2008 12:58PM

    Hi this is really awesome work you've been doing! Spark has stopped sending me notifications about blogs since I have been away so long. Good to read your blog again. And funny you should write about underwear. I went shopping for a new sports bra today and I had to get three sizes smaller than last time I bought a bra! That hasn't happened in a while! Was really good to hear the sales lady's kind comments and approval. Feels so goood! - Marit

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JESPAH 8/30/2008 12:05PM

    Thank you! I'm getting verra excited about the upcoming festivities.

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WOODLANDMYST 8/30/2008 11:57AM

  As someone with breastal issues, I do sympathize! It seems to be the one place slowest to show any change. It is great when you can see and feel the changes in how clothes fit. The dress is great - you'll look wonderful!

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Now You're Here Now You're Away

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Monday night was a going away dinner for a friend who is going to Europe to live. She is a European (different country) and I won't breach her right to privacy by even revealing the countries. She's someone Mr. J and I know from the site, and she's delightful and fun and we are going to miss her something awful. She says she'll be back but hey, you never know.

So that was hard. I didn't compound it by messing up the food or anything. Had enough feelings for that.

My work is becoming stressful. Same deadline, but more stuff keeps being piled on. I am ostensibly a Reporting Analyst and technically a part of what I'm supposed to be doing is reporting. And my coworker, who is far better at SQL than I am, is still on vacation. Hence things are getting piled on me, even amidst the data loading I have to do.

Allegedly I am 100% on data loading, and I should be, otherwise I would be working this weekend and there is no way in hell I am missing the Red Sox game or my birthday or anything of the sort because of data loading. But in the meantime high priority and high profile things either slip or are done badly. Can't blame the intern; he's working under my direction. But I just can't provide much direction right now.

I'm just plain tired.

Tonight we'll go walking and then eat and then I will be down for the count. I need a vacation and I am only here for a month. It is mainly because I have been full-out since my last vacation, which was May, and before that I had been full-out since September. Among things like watching my diet and exercising, life was filled with losing a job, getting another one, getting acclimated here, my relative's illness, my nephew's upcoming Bar Mitzvah and the stresses of trying to figure out what I'll wear, coordinating the travel, etc. and all sorts of other bits of fun like furry critters in the house and a balky car and dryer.

I'm pretty beat.

I like this song, but my favorite line is not the title of this blog post. Here is my favorite line:
When We Rise It's Like Strawberry Fields

My kingdom for some rest. Some rest, some rest, my kingdom for some rest. Zzzzzzzzz

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/30/2008 11:17AM

    I will definitely show off the cutie outfit (more to come in the next blog entry).

My friend's flying out today. Last message I got from her was her wondering why her bicycle wasn't disassembling itself. :)

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SISNAMIL 8/30/2008 10:00AM

    Sorry you are so stressed. Maybe you and Mr J should enjoy a bubble bath over the long weekend?! emoticon

I was thinking about the Bar Mitzvah, yes I think about you all while I am doing other stuff, call it ADD in action. Remember a couple of months ago when you still thought something in your closet would still fit? emoticon Speaking of which, you will have to post a pic of you in your cute Aunty/Showing off my new figure outfit.

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JESPAH 8/28/2008 7:21PM

    Somewhat better today. My boss told one of the people who was giving me work that I'm 100% on data loading and cannot be bugged for other things, particularly since I haven't a clue as to how to fix that other thing anyway.

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EMMASMART 8/28/2008 1:32PM

    It's good stress. You just haven't figured it out yet. It's all cool. You are the best thing that ever happenned to them.


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JESPAH 8/27/2008 6:58PM

    Thanks, hon.

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MELINKY 8/27/2008 6:49PM

    sorry to hear your friend moved and that you're dealing with a lot of stress.
I hope you have a great birthday and hope it relieves some of your stress if it can't relieve all of it. =)


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"It is always nice to see you" says the man behind the counter

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Well, it should be obvious -- I saw my buddy the fish dude again. And he's just ... pleasant. Good to trade smiles.

I had a rather stressful and tiring work week so it's great to just not be doing anything remotely like that. I have to load a boatload of data and it's a very cumbersome process. While developer types work on making the process easier for me (and faster), I still have to load up stuff. There is a deadline in a few weeks and it will clearly be missed. I feel some pressure about that but not much. After all, it was already proven (and not by me, which made it even better) that it's physically impossible to get everything loaded up by the deadline, even without any glitches or problems or rolling anything back -- which is just an impossibility. There is always SOMETHING. The big boss actually watched me load up a file which should have taken about 15 minutes. It took over an hour and the delay was so obviously not my fault that I think he got a renewed appreciation for what I'm doing or at least attempting to do.

I also had stress because of my car. It had a bad knock sensor and then also the engine control module had to be replaced. I'm not certain of what any of that stuff means but it was free (we bought the extended warranty, yay!) but it also took four days. And, due to communication issues, I ended up driving to the dealership every single one of those days, and the trip is over an hour each way. Hence I was pretty tired yesterday. But now it's all fixed up so that's good news.

Weight loss and exercise are going well. Today after food shopping we went out and played frisbee, then we walked to the new Greek place and had a fabulous grilled vegetable gyro lunch. Now we're back home doing whatnot online and tonight dinner will be the tuna I bought (recommended by you know who).

A fabulous day. Enjoy Suzanne Vega and DNA.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TUESDAYS 8/26/2008 6:17PM

    Sounds like you need some chill time. Wheeew! Remember those days when you WANTED a job? Seems silly now, eh? emoticon Hehe!

Good for you for hanging in there and making good food choices. No stress eating. That's our rule. Keep it up!

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Just Over and Over and Over You Could

Sunday, August 17, 2008

It's time for a month in review. Well, it won't be until Tuesday, really, but I'm expecting a busy work week.

Anyway, without further ado -- it has been 7 months since I started alli, about 210 days or so, and about 230 days since I started exercising. Life is radically different now. Here's the recap.


Bicep 16" down 3"
Bust 47.5" down 7.25"
Band 41" down 6.5"
Waist 43.25" down 5.25"
Belly 49.75" down 9.75"
Hips 48.75" down 2.25"
Butt 52.25" down 11.75"
Thigh 28" down 4.25"

I suspect that some of the belly and butt inch loss can be attributed to the hips. Essentially what has happened is I started with a serious roll of fat in front and now that's flattening and dropping, and will continue to do so as I go along. My average overall inch loss is 6.31". If you take out the outlyers (bicep and thigh), we're talking an overall average inch loss of 7.125".

I have lost 80 lbs., if this morning's number holds for tomorrow's official weigh-in. Even if it doesn't, I have without a doubt lost in excess of 75 lbs.


I started off as a 26 (3x) up top and a 28 (4x) below. I am now a 20 (1x, sometimes even XL) up top and a 22 (2x) below. Scads of clothes have been tossed. I am beginning to go past clothing from the late '90s that I had saved as it is becoming too large for me. Even my tightest jeans from when I first started are hanging off me, even with a belt.

Working out

I started off with few reps but at least worked out every day. I still work out every day and I missed exactly one day all year (I was having flu-like symptoms). I lift 15 lbs. of weights (started off lifting just 4), for 3 sets of 15 reps apiece. I pull on resistance bands and I walk every day but Sundays. When I walk, every day's total is at least a mile and 30 minutes.

I do a version of interval training by essentially speeding up and slowing down as I walk. Half the time I am not even conscious that I am doing it. It's more likely that I hurry up to make a light or because I think I might be late for work, or I slow down because something interests me or I'm stopped at a crosswalk. The current weights are getting a little easier but still feel tough and I imagine they will for another month or so, possibly more. When they start to feel easy, I'll add another 5 lbs. I have the capacity to lift a total of 35 lbs. After that, I'd have to buy more weights. But that's a bridge I'll cross to when I get to it. At a certain point, it becomes an issue of possibly joining a gym or committing to a much more serious set of workout equipment. But that's for down the road.

Meals and Eating

Dining out is easier and we recently added a new Greek place to the list of places where I can go and always find something good. One major advantage is it's a 30 minute walk each way so I can do cardio there and back. Chinese is still not on the list as I still feel it's too tough to handle the sauces and the salt. That will probably be my next mountain to climb: going to a Chinese restaurant.

Upcoming events and issues

Our elder nephew's Bar Mitzvah is coming in a little over a month. I will buy my dress in about 10 - 14 days from today. I strongly suspect it will be a size 22. I know exactly what I want; it's really just a question of whether the 22 or the 20 will fit.

The Bar Mitzvah is kind of good news, bad news. The hotel is actually going to be great for fitness as it has an indoor pool, free weights and exercise equipment, so all I'll need to do is bring the resistance bands and a swimsuit, plus workout clothes. They will have a decent breakfast and I'll bring oatmeal packets if I need them.

The bad news is almost everything else, at least when it comes to food. I know that the dinner the night before is going to be deli, which will be a nightmare of salt and fat. As for the reception meal itself, I have no idea what it is but my hopes are not high. I've been to many, many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in my life and healthy fare is generally not on the menu. I'll do my best, I'll drink water, go for portion control if nothing else and if all else really fails, I may not even take alli for the reception meal, if I feel I'm going to get more than 19 grams of fat. We'll see.

The following morning is a breakfast and I am again not too optimistic but I'll do what I can. Not taking alli is again and option. Not a preferred option but I'd rather not have side effect issues for the trip back. I'll be fine and I'll put on a good face for it. And I'll look out for myself in whatever way I can. Hey, sometimes conditions are not optimal. I'll make the best of it and won't beat myself up if the upshot is imperfect.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to it. The gifts are bought, the reservations have been made and I'm trying to remember the tune for the aliyah (assuming I get one; an aliyah is a call to the Torah, and you sing it).

Other issues and observations

Despite my concerns about the Bar Mitzvah, things are rather smooth and easy. I stepped up the working out a few weeks ago and it has paid dividends, as in the same amount of weight loss in two weeks that I had had in the previous seven weeks combined. Plus I feel great and have few issues with muscle aches of any sort, even when I'm walking fast or up a hill (or both).


My next goal is 5 more off, to 261. The next alli goal is 258. I am hoping to have made it to that alli goal by the time of the Bar Mitzvah but I'll be fine if I don't. Things are on track, and it looks very possible that I will wipe out another 40 lbs. by the end of the calendar year, which would put me at the weight loss ultimate finish line (e. g. normal BMI) by next year, my birthday (which is early next month, so the whole thing would be a little over a year from now).

For anyone who needs to be convinced that they can do this, trust me. You can. You really, really CAN.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/19/2008 6:27AM

    Thank you, hon. :)

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TCEDEROTH 8/19/2008 12:40AM

    Janet, I'm literally in tears right now with happiness. I am so proud of you.

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FLUFFY2001 8/18/2008 12:57PM

    What I admire the most is your serious commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. I found this blog fascinating as I focused on your efforts with exercise, sodium intake, etc. As you know I have been struggling with severe depression and grief. Coming here and reading this blog helped me. I need to move more which I was successful at doing in the past. I also need to constantly be vigilant regarding positive self talk. I see that you are doing that, maybe without even realizing it. Thank you again.
Millie emoticon

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JESPAH 8/18/2008 5:58AM

    Thank you, lovely ladies. :)

I'm actually up slightly this week. Eh, it's fine. I'm finding it's good to let go of being nutty over a fraction of a pound if you've been doing everything you're supposed to have been doing. Plus I had two serious weeks in a row, so it's just evening out. No worries.

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TUESDAYS 8/17/2008 10:38PM

    No superlatives seem sufficient. You're rockin' it.... pure and simple.
Whenever I read about anyone's success, it seems both harder --- and easier --- than it really has been. Truth is, it's inch by inch. I am sooo proud of you!

Watch my ticker. I'm sneaking up on 30 pounds DONE if I can just lose this last half a pound. My "arrow's pointed high" too!
You GO...

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AMHISPRINCESS 8/17/2008 8:02PM

    Congratulations on you weight loss... that is wonderful... I am so proud of you. Keep up the great work... I have to keep telling my self that I can do this. Alli is not an option for me... I know that I would love it.. but my system can not tolerate it.. So I have to keep working on my self.. I do water aerobics daily.. I hope that I can do this.. Keep up your great work.. Hugs, Carol

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I Got No Trophies On Display

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This achievement is no mystery.

I ordered some clothes for myself last week. I figured, I need to start thinking about cooler weather, and stuff is fairly cheap right now. Hence I decided to buy what I thought were going to be clothes for a size or so smaller than I am right now.

They arrived yesterday and I tried three on: a cardigan, a moleskin shirt and a Winter jacket. They all fit! All three of them! The cardigan and jacket are size 1x. The shirt is a 20 (I also have a blue shirt that now fits that's a 20). There are pants to try on, too. I'll work through them as the week progresses, just doling out little dollops of trying on every night rather than doing everything in one shot.

When I am down one size more, to 18s and XLs, I will be smaller than I've ever been since we started living here, which was 1995.

I have about 120 lbs. to go and 6 more sizes is very reasonable. That would put me at a size 8 finish line. Every 20 lbs., baby!

Those are a lot of bridges to cross, and I'll enjoy them when I get there. And I will, without a doubt, get there.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/13/2008 7:10PM

    Thank you all.

BTW, the pants fit me, too. W00p!

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MELINKY 8/13/2008 6:13PM

    Congratulations on your new clothes and them fitting you sooner than you thought!!! Rock on! emoticon


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TCEDEROTH 8/13/2008 12:39PM

    Janet, as always, you continue to be an inspiration to everyone. I am so proud of you, and that size 8 will be a reality in no time.

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AMHISPRINCESS 8/13/2008 11:20AM

    Congratulations.... I am proud of you... Keep up the great work...Hugs, Carol

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WOODLANDMYST 8/13/2008 10:13AM

  Congratulations! One step at a time - we can do this!

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JESPAH 8/13/2008 8:39AM

    The thing about bigger sizes is they do have more play to them. It took me -- I kid you not -- a good 30+ to go down the first size, might even have been close to 40 lbs. 'Twas very frustrating there.

Ha, returning these for smallers -- well I think I'll hold 'em for now. Sometimes it can get super-cold here a lot earlier than expected and I don't wanna run around, um, nekkid.

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LILLIAN364 8/13/2008 8:22AM

    120 pounds and six sizes. I find a size is 7 pounds for me at the most. I started at a size 12 being too tight and now a size 4 is too big and I lost 25 pounds according to the doctor's office scale. That averages 6 pounds a size if you count it as 4 sizes, but it's more likely 5 since the 12s were tight and the 4s are now loose.

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~*KIMMI*~ 8/13/2008 8:07AM

    This is awesome!! Congrats!!


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TUESDAYS 8/13/2008 7:58AM

    Thumbs up to you, Girl! Are you going to return them for a smaller size so you won't be drowning in them this winter??

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JNPBELL 8/13/2008 7:47AM

    wow. good for you. i know the feeling. i looked and looked for clothes in a size 24 when we left to go on vacation. i couldnt find any. i unwillingly (at the saleslady's urging) tried on the 22 and it fit!!!! not only did it fit but it fit well!!! congrats to you! its a great feeling isnt it?

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WOTABOUTTHIS 8/13/2008 6:37AM

    Hey you ARE rapidly disappearing! That's a fantastic achievement!! Want me to pat you on the back, or can you reach now lol??

emoticon emoticon

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