Monday, August 04, 2008
Today is a good news, bad news day.
The good news, or rather the excellent news is that not only did I make my alli goal (277), not only did I make my unofficial 70 lbs. gone goal (276) but I even made my ticker goal (271, or 75 lbs. off!). Of course there's a lot more to be done but it's an awesome achievement all the same if I do say so myself. I have been actively watching, exercising, etc. since the start of the year but it all came together with starting to take alli, which was January 19th. Hence it's about 6 1/2 months or so and here I am, down 75. I have another 125 to go.
My next alli goal is 258 (alli makes you take off 5% increments at a time) and I've extended the ticker another 10, to 85 off (261). If I make that before the Bar Mitzvah, I'll extend the ticker another 5. Once the Bar Mitzvah's done, I'll probably increment the ticker by 20 or 25 lbs. or so at a time. That's a thought for another day.
The bad news is that a friend of mine, a dear friend who I have known for six years, seems to be coming to the end of her life. She is older than me and has had many health issues and is currently in the hospital. Her son sends me updates, and I share them with my site, and it's all just so overwhelmingly sad. She was very encouraging about my weight loss and even helped me decide on a stability ball. She's a wonderful, warm and funny person, and wicked smart. So today's victory is bittersweet.
Friday, August 01, 2008
I saw my buddy the fish dude today.
And we actually had a real, live conversation (until someone asked whether the crab cakes were fresh). That sentence makes me giggle but I just, well, it was enjoyable. It's just pleasant to be treated well (of course my husband treats me well -- this is no slam on him at all -- it's just fun to have that come from a different angle), plus in the process I'm getting something that's good for me.
And, it's human contact. I don't get an enormous amount of human contact at work, because I'm still very new and I work with a lot of IT folks. It's beginning to look an awful lot like the two most sociable people on the team are the boss and me. Otherwise there's a lot of just staring at computer screens and not talking much. I seem to be the only person who says Good Morning or Good Night although the guy who sits next to me is starting to warm up to me. I think he's starting to see what I can bring to the table -- mainly that I can be the articulate advocate when so many of them have trouble with such things.
Another week is done. That's four, and I'm getting it and understanding things more and more, which is awesome. I'm also learning where I can push back or change things. Definitely there are improvements happening.
As for me, personally, a la weight loss and whatnot, I still await the elusive fourth alli goal. I think I've flirted with this one more than I had with the previous three, in the sense of getting close and then being over on Monday for the official weigh-in. I'm in good shape right now, but last week I was in even better shape and I still ended up over so I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll believe it when I see it. It's a process, and there are times when the process goes more quickly than at other times. I'm still thinner than I've been in, what, eight or more years. I still look different from when I started.
Slim City, here I come.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Raising the bar is hard. It is, really.
Even if you don't raise it that far, it's still a difficult thing to do.
More exercise. Heavier weights. Less food. Better choices. More sleep (well, that one's easy, assuming you have the time).
You're changing your life, and you're being reborn. Birth was hard enough the first time around. This time isn't too easy, either. Plus you're a lot more conscious of what's happening, or at least you should be.
But it's worth it. It's downright, fascinatingly, amazingly, incredibly, absolutely worth it in a way that few things are. Pop open that crysalis. Be the butterfly you were always meant to be.
You can do it, sooner or later. Don't let it be later.
Monday, July 28, 2008
I was all set to feel sorry for myself this morning, and most of the day.
I really was. After all, I'd gained -- I kid you not -- 3.4 lbs. since yesterday (restaurant food, I'm sure of it), and today was weigh-in day. I was feeling like I was going into a funk. It was going to be an excuse for doing, well, whatever I felt like.
But you know something, I decided instead to analyze what had happened.
* I realized I need to up the weights, so I went from 10 lbs. to 15 today (it's harder than it sounds). I'm feeling challenged and tired, with tingly muscles, which I haven't had in a while. So it was time to do that.
* I realized I need to start walking during the week, at least three days, despite the walking I get in for my commute. I need to do more. So I'll get my husband to go with me and it'll be good for both of us.
* I need to eat less restaurant food. So I'll be cooking today and tomorrow, with extra for the rest of the week. And I'll put in extra effort so it'll taste better.
* I need to sleep more, so 9 PM will be a hard stop for me, no matter what the Red Sox are doing. I'll just have to adjust, and read about it all the following day.
And I need to see victories, even in what at first feel like defeats. And it's not even a defeat! I'm being nutty! It's a victory; I'm down two pounds, and less than I've been in years! It's a victory, stupid!
I remembered that today, and realized it, and there's something about turning yourself around, doing it yourself. No one else, you're the one to turn around the train. You're the one to get it to go. Heck, you're the one who picks the destination, so make it a good one.
Go, go, go jessie, go ...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Yesterday was very full and it's no wonder that I am exhausted. The day began with me sitting downstairs in front of the TV, reading the newspaper and eating breakfast (the TV was off). I hear a slightly skritching noise, turn to it and see something grey and furry which then runs back to the kitchen.
Of course I'm terrified (because I'm thinking rat, and I'm sitting barefoot and just in my nightclothes). I scream a few times for my husband who finally comes running out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. I yell, "There's a squirrel in the house!" Huh?
He goes to investigate while I cower upstairs (I eventually realize I'd better put clothes on because if the animal is rabid, we'd better call Animal Control pronto. It was, indeed, a squirrel. He did what he could to calm the poor thing, including tossing nuts in its direction (it climbed up the dining room curtains and then jumped from the top -- about 9' high -- to the floor and was fine). He finally got the back door open (it was mostly hanging by the door, so that was hard to get to) and then convinced it to leave by employing the use of the (now-patented :D) Squirrel Persuader 9000.
The Squirrel Persuader 9000 is also a push broom.
Anyway this was the first funky thing. We were going to a Beach Party at Plum Island so there was then over an hour of driving ahead of me after that.
We brought focaccia (my recipe is on Spark), cut up mixed vegs and roasted red pepper hummus, plus things like napkins and paper plates. This was a party held by a woman I used to work with, two jobs ago. We all had a blast -- lots of music (we bring the music and I act as the DJ -- it was a mix of 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s stuff although I didn't play the song that is on today's blog entry), food (and I didn't overdo it!) and beach time.
And I really didn't overdo it with the eating because there was plenty to interest me that didn't involve eating. I played frisbee for the first time in over a decade (Mr. Jespah was in heaven -- not only did I play with him but so did one of the kids, one of the other former coworkers and a husband of another -- the latter is actually quite good). Now my right forearm is bothering me on and off but my plant foot (which was also lower than the rest of me because I was on a little rise)'s ankle (the right one) is hurting. But that's okay; it's a good hurt.
One thing that was worrying me was the big hill from the beach back to the house. It's really not THAT big a hill, but it's big enough, plus there's little to no traction because it's all sand. But I managed to get up the big hill -- twice -- with no ill effects but did feel it in my calves and had some heavier breathing. But I did it without assistance! This is a major miracle as I've gone to this beach house for four years now and this is the first time I have EVER done the hill on my own without wanting to curl up and nap for three hours afterwards. Hence the daily calf raises are really working and that's great motivation to continue them -- they really, really do work, and I've got an incentive -- to be able to do it all again next year, with even less heavy breathing afterwards.
I've very proud of that.
We also played petanque, which is a French (Basque?) sport somewhat like bocce. I still stink at it -- I can hurl the ball (which is heavy; it's made of stainless steel) just fine, but my aim continues to be, heh, less than optimal. Our team won anyway, 5-2.
Now I'm tired, with the aforementioned little aches. Plus my throat is sore. But I'm extremely happy (I need to send out the thank-you note ASAP). I haven't gone downstairs yet this morning.
I need to check for squirrels.
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