JESPAH   191,150
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I Got No Trophies On Display

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This achievement is no mystery.

I ordered some clothes for myself last week. I figured, I need to start thinking about cooler weather, and stuff is fairly cheap right now. Hence I decided to buy what I thought were going to be clothes for a size or so smaller than I am right now.

They arrived yesterday and I tried three on: a cardigan, a moleskin shirt and a Winter jacket. They all fit! All three of them! The cardigan and jacket are size 1x. The shirt is a 20 (I also have a blue shirt that now fits that's a 20). There are pants to try on, too. I'll work through them as the week progresses, just doling out little dollops of trying on every night rather than doing everything in one shot.

When I am down one size more, to 18s and XLs, I will be smaller than I've ever been since we started living here, which was 1995.

I have about 120 lbs. to go and 6 more sizes is very reasonable. That would put me at a size 8 finish line. Every 20 lbs., baby!

Those are a lot of bridges to cross, and I'll enjoy them when I get there. And I will, without a doubt, get there.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/13/2008 7:10PM

    Thank you all.

BTW, the pants fit me, too. W00p!

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MELINKY 8/13/2008 6:13PM

    Congratulations on your new clothes and them fitting you sooner than you thought!!! Rock on! emoticon


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TCEDEROTH 8/13/2008 12:39PM

    Janet, as always, you continue to be an inspiration to everyone. I am so proud of you, and that size 8 will be a reality in no time.

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AMHISPRINCESS 8/13/2008 11:20AM

    Congratulations.... I am proud of you... Keep up the great work...Hugs, Carol

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WOODLANDMYST 8/13/2008 10:13AM

  Congratulations! One step at a time - we can do this!

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JESPAH 8/13/2008 8:39AM

    The thing about bigger sizes is they do have more play to them. It took me -- I kid you not -- a good 30+ to go down the first size, might even have been close to 40 lbs. 'Twas very frustrating there.

Ha, returning these for smallers -- well I think I'll hold 'em for now. Sometimes it can get super-cold here a lot earlier than expected and I don't wanna run around, um, nekkid.

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LILLIAN364 8/13/2008 8:22AM

    120 pounds and six sizes. I find a size is 7 pounds for me at the most. I started at a size 12 being too tight and now a size 4 is too big and I lost 25 pounds according to the doctor's office scale. That averages 6 pounds a size if you count it as 4 sizes, but it's more likely 5 since the 12s were tight and the 4s are now loose.

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~*KIMMI*~ 8/13/2008 8:07AM

    This is awesome!! Congrats!!


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TUESDAYS 8/13/2008 7:58AM

    Thumbs up to you, Girl! Are you going to return them for a smaller size so you won't be drowning in them this winter??

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JNPBELL 8/13/2008 7:47AM

    wow. good for you. i know the feeling. i looked and looked for clothes in a size 24 when we left to go on vacation. i couldnt find any. i unwillingly (at the saleslady's urging) tried on the 22 and it fit!!!! not only did it fit but it fit well!!! congrats to you! its a great feeling isnt it?

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WOTABOUTTHIS 8/13/2008 6:37AM

    Hey you ARE rapidly disappearing! That's a fantastic achievement!! Want me to pat you on the back, or can you reach now lol??

emoticon emoticon

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I Packed My Bags and I'm Heading Straight into the Storm

Friday, August 08, 2008

My dear friend lost her battle on August 5th.

And while I still feel awful about it, I'm also coming to terms with it. And she's teaching me a few things in death, like to take as good care of myself as I can because I am healthy and (fairly) young and when the end comes that will make a serious difference in when and how it happens.

I was also thinking, y'know, it's funny.

I am an incredibly hard worker. I also do my best to be a smart worker because I really despise getting home late and these days it's pretty much required that I get home in time so that I can work out and we can make and eat a good meal without rushing and doing all of those bad habit things you're not supposed to do while you're trying to lose weight.

But when I'm at the office, even though I'm pleasant to people (ask how they are, etc.), I don't sit and chat or complain. I just get my work done, even if I have to ask a million questions. I still manage to focus and get it done.

So why couldn't I focus like that on myself until now? Am I not worth the same time, attention, thought and passion that I give to my employer?

I never really got that until just now. I am good enough to work on. I am important enough to improve. I am powerful enough to do it. My friend would say, hold your dominion.

I say, increase it.

Go me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLUFFY2001 8/18/2008 1:03PM

    Just as you are an angel unaware to so many of us here, you are truly being watched over by this special friend who is your angel. I need to make myself a priority in healthy ways. Thank you so much.
Millie emoticon

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EMMASMART 8/11/2008 9:19PM

    She'd be honored for sure to know that she's inspiring you... I'm working on refining my goals.


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JESPAH 8/11/2008 6:08PM

    Thank you so much for your kind support.

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BABYFACE26 8/11/2008 12:44PM

    I am sorry for your loss. And wanted to tell you that you are really something - doing so well in your fitness journey.
I commend you.

All the best,

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TUESDAYS 8/11/2008 8:52AM

    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That's difficult to navigate, even when you THINK you're prepared for it. The good news is that it focuses you on what is TRULY important in life.

Keep your focus. You are doing amazingly well!!!

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DRAKE83 8/8/2008 7:29PM

    Go you and this inspires me!!! I have some of the same issues and I just can't seem to understand why I don't put the same attention and passion to myself consistently!


thank you for posting this and I am very sorry for your loss

Thinking of you in Maine emoticon

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The Places Where All The Things Meet

Monday, August 04, 2008

Today is a good news, bad news day.

The good news, or rather the excellent news is that not only did I make my alli goal (277), not only did I make my unofficial 70 lbs. gone goal (276) but I even made my ticker goal (271, or 75 lbs. off!). Of course there's a lot more to be done but it's an awesome achievement all the same if I do say so myself. I have been actively watching, exercising, etc. since the start of the year but it all came together with starting to take alli, which was January 19th. Hence it's about 6 1/2 months or so and here I am, down 75. I have another 125 to go.

My next alli goal is 258 (alli makes you take off 5% increments at a time) and I've extended the ticker another 10, to 85 off (261). If I make that before the Bar Mitzvah, I'll extend the ticker another 5. Once the Bar Mitzvah's done, I'll probably increment the ticker by 20 or 25 lbs. or so at a time. That's a thought for another day.

The bad news is that a friend of mine, a dear friend who I have known for six years, seems to be coming to the end of her life. She is older than me and has had many health issues and is currently in the hospital. Her son sends me updates, and I share them with my site, and it's all just so overwhelmingly sad. She was very encouraging about my weight loss and even helped me decide on a stability ball. She's a wonderful, warm and funny person, and wicked smart. So today's victory is bittersweet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/4/2008 9:36PM

    Thank you, Carol. I will.

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    First I want to say CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss...

Second... I am sorry to here about your friend. I lost a dear friend that I had for over 50 years two year ago.. I know how you are feeling.. Please know that my Prayers are with her family and also with you..

Keep me posted.. Hugs, Carol

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JESPAH 8/4/2008 7:18PM

    Thank you; that's very kind of you.

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CLAYSGAL 8/4/2008 7:15PM

    CONGRATULATIONS DONE GIRL,YOU ROCK!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

So sorry to hear about your freind. My prayers will be with you and her.

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But It Still Gets Me Where I Wanna Go

Friday, August 01, 2008

I saw my buddy the fish dude today.

And we actually had a real, live conversation (until someone asked whether the crab cakes were fresh). That sentence makes me giggle but I just, well, it was enjoyable. It's just pleasant to be treated well (of course my husband treats me well -- this is no slam on him at all -- it's just fun to have that come from a different angle), plus in the process I'm getting something that's good for me.

And, it's human contact. I don't get an enormous amount of human contact at work, because I'm still very new and I work with a lot of IT folks. It's beginning to look an awful lot like the two most sociable people on the team are the boss and me. Otherwise there's a lot of just staring at computer screens and not talking much. I seem to be the only person who says Good Morning or Good Night although the guy who sits next to me is starting to warm up to me. I think he's starting to see what I can bring to the table -- mainly that I can be the articulate advocate when so many of them have trouble with such things.

Another week is done. That's four, and I'm getting it and understanding things more and more, which is awesome. I'm also learning where I can push back or change things. Definitely there are improvements happening.

As for me, personally, a la weight loss and whatnot, I still await the elusive fourth alli goal. I think I've flirted with this one more than I had with the previous three, in the sense of getting close and then being over on Monday for the official weigh-in. I'm in good shape right now, but last week I was in even better shape and I still ended up over so I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll believe it when I see it. It's a process, and there are times when the process goes more quickly than at other times. I'm still thinner than I've been in, what, eight or more years. I still look different from when I started.

Slim City, here I come.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 8/4/2008 9:33AM

    I'd like to cobble them together in one Frankenstein's monster of, well, someone who can carry on a conversation of more than three works about something other than work.

The human contact thing can go a lil far though -- there's a deaf guy in my neighborhood who's barely this side of homeless and collects the cans so we leave them out for him. And yesterday I was sitting on the front porch, doing the crossword puzzle, when he came up to me. As in, on our property. I think it was to thank us (he's very hard to understand, but that's to be expected, I suppose) but it was, well, kinda creepy. He was also working some serious chewing tobacco. Oy!

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SISNAMIL 8/4/2008 9:27AM

    Wanna trade? I will go sit with the 'no speakums' and you can come here and deal with my guys. When they run out of things to do they stand around in here and have the same conversation, day after day after day. emoticon

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TEACHERH 8/2/2008 8:24PM

    Glad you are getting some human contact!

I'd like to invite you to participate in the Spark Boston August Challenge - tracking calories burned each week, starting next week. We are going for team #s and also are looking for the individual who most improves their numbers over the course of the month. Please stop by and check us out!


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Why we should suffer for this

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Raising the bar is hard. It is, really.

Even if you don't raise it that far, it's still a difficult thing to do.

More exercise. Heavier weights. Less food. Better choices. More sleep (well, that one's easy, assuming you have the time).

You're changing your life, and you're being reborn. Birth was hard enough the first time around. This time isn't too easy, either. Plus you're a lot more conscious of what's happening, or at least you should be.

But it's worth it. It's downright, fascinatingly, amazingly, incredibly, absolutely worth it in a way that few things are. Pop open that crysalis. Be the butterfly you were always meant to be.

You can do it, sooner or later. Don't let it be later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 7/31/2008 6:59PM

    Dangit, Marit, now I'm gonna blush. :)

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TELERIE 7/31/2008 8:33AM

    I love this blog!
- Marit

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JESPAH 7/30/2008 7:28PM

    I didn't used to be (is that good grammar?) this optimistic. It just -- things are changing and that's a part of the crysalis breaking, too. Cannot believe the funk I was in for, I kid you not, decades. What a waste!

No more of that nonsense.

Gonna go walking. Love to you all. :)

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AMHISPRINCESS 7/30/2008 7:22PM

    Great out look on what our life is... You are so right. We all need to reach as high as we can. this time we have the control. Don't let this be hard. We do have lots of motivation and support here. Lets.. keep things going... Keep up yuour great positive attitude.. I am loving it... Hugs, Carol

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AMHISPRINCESS 7/30/2008 7:22PM

    Great out look on what our life is... You are so right. We all need to reach as high as we can. this time we have the control. Don't let this be hard. We do have lots of motivation and support here. Lets.. keep things going... Keep up yuour great positive attitude.. I am loving it... Hugs, Carol

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TUESDAYS 7/30/2008 7:06PM

    "I believe I can fly..... I believe I can touch the sky-ay!" (Do you hear me singin'??!! LOL!)
Love your blog... and you are RIGHT on the money!

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DRAGONFLY180 7/30/2008 7:00PM

    you're right. it is definitely worth it! you have a awesome, positive outlook.

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