Friday, August 01, 2008
I saw my buddy the fish dude today.
And we actually had a real, live conversation (until someone asked whether the crab cakes were fresh). That sentence makes me giggle but I just, well, it was enjoyable. It's just pleasant to be treated well (of course my husband treats me well -- this is no slam on him at all -- it's just fun to have that come from a different angle), plus in the process I'm getting something that's good for me.
And, it's human contact. I don't get an enormous amount of human contact at work, because I'm still very new and I work with a lot of IT folks. It's beginning to look an awful lot like the two most sociable people on the team are the boss and me. Otherwise there's a lot of just staring at computer screens and not talking much. I seem to be the only person who says Good Morning or Good Night although the guy who sits next to me is starting to warm up to me. I think he's starting to see what I can bring to the table -- mainly that I can be the articulate advocate when so many of them have trouble with such things.
Another week is done. That's four, and I'm getting it and understanding things more and more, which is awesome. I'm also learning where I can push back or change things. Definitely there are improvements happening.
As for me, personally, a la weight loss and whatnot, I still await the elusive fourth alli goal. I think I've flirted with this one more than I had with the previous three, in the sense of getting close and then being over on Monday for the official weigh-in. I'm in good shape right now, but last week I was in even better shape and I still ended up over so I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll believe it when I see it. It's a process, and there are times when the process goes more quickly than at other times. I'm still thinner than I've been in, what, eight or more years. I still look different from when I started.
Slim City, here I come.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Raising the bar is hard. It is, really.
Even if you don't raise it that far, it's still a difficult thing to do.
More exercise. Heavier weights. Less food. Better choices. More sleep (well, that one's easy, assuming you have the time).
You're changing your life, and you're being reborn. Birth was hard enough the first time around. This time isn't too easy, either. Plus you're a lot more conscious of what's happening, or at least you should be.
But it's worth it. It's downright, fascinatingly, amazingly, incredibly, absolutely worth it in a way that few things are. Pop open that crysalis. Be the butterfly you were always meant to be.
You can do it, sooner or later. Don't let it be later.
Monday, July 28, 2008
I was all set to feel sorry for myself this morning, and most of the day.
I really was. After all, I'd gained -- I kid you not -- 3.4 lbs. since yesterday (restaurant food, I'm sure of it), and today was weigh-in day. I was feeling like I was going into a funk. It was going to be an excuse for doing, well, whatever I felt like.
But you know something, I decided instead to analyze what had happened.
* I realized I need to up the weights, so I went from 10 lbs. to 15 today (it's harder than it sounds). I'm feeling challenged and tired, with tingly muscles, which I haven't had in a while. So it was time to do that.
* I realized I need to start walking during the week, at least three days, despite the walking I get in for my commute. I need to do more. So I'll get my husband to go with me and it'll be good for both of us.
* I need to eat less restaurant food. So I'll be cooking today and tomorrow, with extra for the rest of the week. And I'll put in extra effort so it'll taste better.
* I need to sleep more, so 9 PM will be a hard stop for me, no matter what the Red Sox are doing. I'll just have to adjust, and read about it all the following day.
And I need to see victories, even in what at first feel like defeats. And it's not even a defeat! I'm being nutty! It's a victory; I'm down two pounds, and less than I've been in years! It's a victory, stupid!
I remembered that today, and realized it, and there's something about turning yourself around, doing it yourself. No one else, you're the one to turn around the train. You're the one to get it to go. Heck, you're the one who picks the destination, so make it a good one.
Go, go, go jessie, go ...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Yesterday was very full and it's no wonder that I am exhausted. The day began with me sitting downstairs in front of the TV, reading the newspaper and eating breakfast (the TV was off). I hear a slightly skritching noise, turn to it and see something grey and furry which then runs back to the kitchen.
Of course I'm terrified (because I'm thinking rat, and I'm sitting barefoot and just in my nightclothes). I scream a few times for my husband who finally comes running out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. I yell, "There's a squirrel in the house!" Huh?
He goes to investigate while I cower upstairs (I eventually realize I'd better put clothes on because if the animal is rabid, we'd better call Animal Control pronto. It was, indeed, a squirrel. He did what he could to calm the poor thing, including tossing nuts in its direction (it climbed up the dining room curtains and then jumped from the top -- about 9' high -- to the floor and was fine). He finally got the back door open (it was mostly hanging by the door, so that was hard to get to) and then convinced it to leave by employing the use of the (now-patented :D) Squirrel Persuader 9000.
The Squirrel Persuader 9000 is also a push broom.
Anyway this was the first funky thing. We were going to a Beach Party at Plum Island so there was then over an hour of driving ahead of me after that.
We brought focaccia (my recipe is on Spark), cut up mixed vegs and roasted red pepper hummus, plus things like napkins and paper plates. This was a party held by a woman I used to work with, two jobs ago. We all had a blast -- lots of music (we bring the music and I act as the DJ -- it was a mix of 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s stuff although I didn't play the song that is on today's blog entry), food (and I didn't overdo it!) and beach time.
And I really didn't overdo it with the eating because there was plenty to interest me that didn't involve eating. I played frisbee for the first time in over a decade (Mr. Jespah was in heaven -- not only did I play with him but so did one of the kids, one of the other former coworkers and a husband of another -- the latter is actually quite good). Now my right forearm is bothering me on and off but my plant foot (which was also lower than the rest of me because I was on a little rise)'s ankle (the right one) is hurting. But that's okay; it's a good hurt.
One thing that was worrying me was the big hill from the beach back to the house. It's really not THAT big a hill, but it's big enough, plus there's little to no traction because it's all sand. But I managed to get up the big hill -- twice -- with no ill effects but did feel it in my calves and had some heavier breathing. But I did it without assistance! This is a major miracle as I've gone to this beach house for four years now and this is the first time I have EVER done the hill on my own without wanting to curl up and nap for three hours afterwards. Hence the daily calf raises are really working and that's great motivation to continue them -- they really, really do work, and I've got an incentive -- to be able to do it all again next year, with even less heavy breathing afterwards.
I've very proud of that.
We also played petanque, which is a French (Basque?) sport somewhat like bocce. I still stink at it -- I can hurl the ball (which is heavy; it's made of stainless steel) just fine, but my aim continues to be, heh, less than optimal. Our team won anyway, 5-2.
Now I'm tired, with the aforementioned little aches. Plus my throat is sore. But I'm extremely happy (I need to send out the thank-you note ASAP). I haven't gone downstairs yet this morning.
I need to check for squirrels.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I thought of this song recently because I put on a shirt on Friday and it used to be, well, a shirt and it came down to my waist and all of that but now it comes down past my butt and is practically a dress. I also thought of it because there was a recent tribute to The Who on TV and I was unable to stay up too late to watch too much of it but did see The Foo Fighters and they were amazing. My husband is a really big Who fan so the DVD will, I am sure, end up as his Chanukah present. Or maybe we'll get it before then.
It's time for milestones. Yesterday was the 19th and that was 6 months since I started alli.
In the period, I have lost 67 lbs. and am 1/3 of the way to my ultimate goal. Things are slowing down and it takes longer between goals now, so I do not honestly expect the next 67 to go in 6 months, but hope springs eternal. This week, actually, I suspect I will have a plateau. Only 1 1/2 lbs. until my 4th alli goal.
Bicep 15" record smallest - down 4" from the start
Bust 49.75" - down 5" from the start
Band 42" - 5.5" from the start
Waist 44" - down 5" from the start
Belly 50.25" record smallest - down 9" from the start!!!
Hips 47" record smallest - down 4" from the start
Rear 53.25" - 8.75" from the start!!!
Thigh 28.25" - down 4" from the start
Overall inch loss is 5.94".
I'm starting to move away from a pear shape and more into what Spark calls an avocado shape, which is actually what I am when I am thin. When I was in High School, my measurements were 34-29-36. While I don't expect those measurements again I do expect those kinds of proportions. I always had a bit of a belly but of course when you're thin there isn't a lot because there isn't a lot of you anywhere.
I don't know if I have any 28s left in the house. There might be one or two from Winter that I have yet to toss but that should be it. I have plenty of 26s because I need clothes to wear, but they're all too big for me. I fit into 24s for pants easily and without constriction. I fit into 22s for tops without problems, and this includes blazers which have to lay over the hip. I suspect that I will start fitting into 20s for tops pretty soon.
When I replace clothes, I do so one size below what I currently am, toss the old huge item and wait to fit into the smaller one. Since I order clothes online (I've always hated department stores, even when I was skinny), it takes a while for them to get here and sometimes that means that I fit into them or am close to doing so when they arrive.
There are a few things that I won't be replacing for a while, mainly because I don't want to invest serious money in intermediate sizes. These are, of course, coats and jackets. I tried on my Winter jacket (I remember when it was too small and I had, tearfully, bought a size 28 which I hatefully referred to as The Teal Monstrosity) and it's a tent on me. Still, I can't see investing in a size 24 because I'll be out of them soon or down to a 20 or an 18 because I'll need for any jacket to actually fit me once it gets really cold. I might check out Goodwill but I know they're hit or miss. One thing that has come from this is more of an interest in looking good in clothes.
I do 3 sets of 15 reps every day, with 10-lb. weights. I've invested in adjustable 20-lb. weights for my wrists so I can eventually use them together with the free weights, for 30 lbs. (or even with the small set of wristlets, for a total of 35 lbs.) but that's a ways from now. I'm getting close to ready to up the weight level but am a little hesitant because of the hot weather.
I get in 30 minutes of cardio every day because that's how I get to and from work. I don't take cabs on Fridays like I used to, although extremely bad weather might change my mind a bit in that area.
I drink way more than I have to, every day, because it's been hot. I have some issues with a lot of trips to the ladies' room, but that's not bad as it's fairly far from my cube, hence I get in more steps that way.
Food and Nutrition
I stay within fat and calorie ranges but have had some recent issues with too much salt. I also continue to have issues with getting enough iron and calcium. If I am low with any nutrients in any given day (and that doesn't happen every day, but it does tend to happen at least once per week), it's with those two. I know they are important and I do what I can to get them into me.
I drink milk and have a yogurt every single day, and together those give me about 80% of the calcium I need. Then the trick is the remainder because cheese is a salt issue unto itself. For iron, since I'm a semi-vegetarian, I don't eat meat every day. I do eat chicken and fish and am fine on days when I eat either. Beans are a decent source, too, and every other week is a bean soup week so I get a lot in then. For the off weeks, we have pasta primavera. Maybe I'll start adding spinach to it.
My nephew's Bar Mitzvah is in late September and I have already made the 60 lbs. off goal I had originally set for then. My current goal for then is now 75 lbs. off. Since I am only 8 lbs. from that, I expect to make it handily and then will probably extend the ticker another 5 or 10 lbs. (it depends on how close to September that happens) and see if I can make it to as many as 85-90 lbs. off by the big day.
I also need to buy a dress and have it narrowed down to black or predominantly black, with some sort of sleeve and somewhere between knee-length and calf-length. Plus it should be something I can wear to work; I want to wear it at least one more time before it's too big for me. Hence future blog entries are probably going to be partly devoted to the quest. I have some ideas and have some options tagged at Amazon, Chadwick's, Jessica London and other online retailers. Of course the size is a mystery now, too, but I've decided that it'll be whatever size I am on September 1st and if it's too big by the time of the big day, I'll live.
Onward to thinness.
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