JESPAH   187,929
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Hope that I'm talkin' allegorically

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Racing, racing, racing, mind is racing. Too much too soon too many things going on, huge off-kilter crazily spinning merry-go-round from Hades.

Now, I recognize that a large part of this is my own stupid fault. After all, I'm running around like a nut, trying to get a job. But there are very good reasons for that. First, I've had long-term unemployment before (as in years), and it stinks and I don't want to ever experience that again. Second, there is demand for my skill set so it's a good time to look. The Summer will bring with it a slowdown and I'll be kicking myself if I don't do my best to leverage all currently available opportunities. And, third, the economy is not doing so hot. Right now, IT seems all right but who's to say how it'll be in the future? No reason to take chances with it.

And I'm not operating on a desperate plane. I'm operating on a confident one. But I am a little impatient. The entire process of looking for work, for me, is generally aggravating. While at least there's interest and a lot of happy noises coming from employers (as opposed to the sounds of silence, which I know all too well), it is still a slow enough process that impatience can dig its nasty little heels in. Beyond that is also the fact that the two places that I am most interested in -- I'll just call them Choice1 and Choice2 -- are still in rather preliminary stages. And, at the same time, choices that are farther down the line (say, about seven and eight of ten or so) are zooming along a lot more quickly.

The danger to playing this game is going along with the lower-tier choices, getting an offer and then rejecting it in favor of Choice1 or Choice2 and then not getting anything from Choice1 or Choice2 and then being left with nada. Choices 1 and 2 are so superior to these other two (I'm highlighting them because I have a face to face interview with each of them next week) that it's more or less a no-brainer to reject these jobs. So why am I bothering to interview? Well, for one thing it's good practice, as I haven't been doing the interview dance for over a year and a half. Plus there's a chance -- albeit a very slender one -- that either hiring manager would convince me that said opportunity was better than Choice1 or Choice2.

But they'd also have to run the gauntlet of Choice3 and Choice4, hence I think this will be, let's face it, a lovely display of going through the motions. But I've gotta do it.

Another reason for being wired -- because otherwise I'd be truly overtaken -- is that one of my parents is getting tested for a rather serious illness and I am concerned about that. I'm being deliberately vague -- after all, this person who I love is certainly entitled to their medical privacy -- but it is very serious if it's true.

In the meantime, I hold onto the crazy tilting carousel because I need to be upbeat in order to get a job. And because the alternative is very scary indeed.

Laughter is, of course, the best medicine. So enjoy a dancing Spiderman and friends. And thank you for reading.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 4/13/2008 7:39PM

    Thank you, Pen. :)

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CANNOTFATHOM 4/13/2008 6:09PM

    First...good thoughts with you and your family. Health issues are very stressful!

Second...keeping more good thoughts that you will find just what you are looking for!

Best wishes! Pen

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JESPAH 4/13/2008 1:30PM

    Absolutely, and thank you for your perspective.

There's also, I think, company culture. Some make decisions faster than others. And some are also in a hot hurry which makes places with more normal agendas look like foot-draggers. Right now I'm putting together my schedule for the week. It'll help me immensely to see everything planned out, even if it's noon-one, eat lunch.

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TCEDEROTH 4/13/2008 11:26AM

    It is a dance, is it not? That's a very good point you had about interviews at less desirable places being good practice. I will remember that as I will be looking too, hopefully soon, and I've not done the dance in 14 years. I remember back then being faced with the same situation. A dry spell, and then offers literally raining down on me, and it's tough to know which is the best choice, especially if you haven't gotten an offer from the one you REALLY want.

It might help to think of things this way. If Choice 1 or 2 are dragging their heels about making an offer, then the either management is indecisive (resulting in not being a very good place after all) or you're not exactly their first choice. This doesn't mean you aren't qualified enough, only that something in them didn't "click" with something in you, and in the long run, may result in your not being happy at that job, because after all, you have to like and get along with the people you work with and vice versa. The majority of your day is spent dealing with these people. And even if you don't have to deal with the management people in a regular basis, you do have to deal with others that they have hired that DID "click".

I guess what I'm trying to say is along the lines of the old saying "Birds of a feather flock together". Even though management is supposed to make a decision based on experience and qualifications, the fact of the matter is that chemistry does play a part. The people that work there now were hired because there was a connection of some sort and chances are that those people will not have that connection with you either. Does this make any sense at all?

In any case, stay true to yourself first and foremost, and you will know it when the right opportunity comes along.

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CJSTRIP 4/13/2008 11:06AM are racing!

Looking for a job is not something I've ever enjoyed - but my positive thoughts are flowing your way to help Choice 1 and 2 is something you have to choose between :)

Fake it until you believe you just hold on to that carousel real tight and soon enough you will not need it to be upbeat!!!

Good luck...let us know how it goes!!


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When you want to go to it

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I need to relax.

My mind is still racing from all of the jobby job stuff going on. Then my folks called, and I filled them in on how things are going, and it all started up again. So I need to chill out.

In the meantime, more interesting diet/fitness discoveries. The pants I was wearing, yesterday and the day before, were both dragging on the ground. Not because I'm taller, but because I don't have as much of a gut holding them out (and up).

I suspect I'll be down another size very soon, which is awesome, as the weather is finally starting to improve and with the other transitions going on in my life it would be amazing to leave many of the old clothes behind, along with the old job.

Yesterday, one of my colleagues was walking behind me as we were going to the break room. And he commented, "Jes, you're melting!" So I turned around and asked him if he was checking me out. ;)

My keister is rapidly disappearing. It will become extinct and will go and live among the velociraptors and other passť species.

Please don't build a museum to it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 4/13/2008 9:27AM

    Thanks, 3DC!

I love the bison. Very stately. :)

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3DOGCREW 4/12/2008 8:25PM

    Glad to see things are going well. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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JESPAH 4/12/2008 7:06PM

    You made me smile. :)

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SISNAMIL 4/12/2008 6:51PM

    The museum to Jess will be the wonderful new temple you are building yourself.

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The Queen of the Hop

Friday, April 11, 2008

I am exhausted. It was my last day at my current gig and I couldn't even enjoy that or linger over my goodbyes (in retrospect, that's not necessarily so bad). Why?

Well, it's because I'm the Queen of the Hop, or at least of database reporting.

If looking for a job is like a girl from 60 years ago hoping for a Prom date, then today I was the aforementioned bit o' royalty.

Everybody's calling. Everybody's interested. Everybody wants to take me to the dance.

And while I love the attention, it's getting a tad wearing, plus it's mondo confusing. And, I am tired.

So very, very tired.

But the day's not over yet. We still have to go food shopping tonight. I still have to finish typing up my job search notes. I still need to send someone a resume. Do I? Someone must want a resume.

I did manage to get my workout in, plus lunch fell in there somewhere, and it's all recorded (which is why I'm on here in the first place).

Back to the six pages of notes that need to be typed.

I need a vacation. In the meantime, enjoy Bobby Darin.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 4/12/2008 12:20PM

    My pleasure, Gram! I love finding this stuff online. And, man! Seeing the turntable and hearing that bit of 45 record hissing, it reminds me of my misspent youth. :)

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GRUMPYGRAMS 4/12/2008 12:13AM

    No wonder you're exhausted!!! You've been a very busy girl. Get some rest!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the time travel back to when music came on vinyl. I enjoyed hearing Bobby Darin again--I'd forgotten about him! Have a restful weekend.

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Keep Your Head Together

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Today was my farewell lunch at my old place and, as promised, they had salad for me. There was also pizza and cake and they didn't interest me. There were also sandwiches and I grabbed grilled chicken and ate just the chicken. I left the bread and even left the cheese.

My coworkers, possibly because I'm leaving, finally realized I've been losing weight. So I spilled that it's been 34 lbs. When I first started doing this, I unofficially thought that people who didn't know would notice after about 40 lbs. Weighing myself this morning, I'm actually more like 36+ lbs. off (the 34 is official). So I wasn't too far off the mark.

I selected today's song because, even with a job that I didn't love, it's still an emotional experience to leave. And I feel I have friends there. Tomorrow is the real last day and the only thing keeping me from being a wreck is that I have a phone screening and may end up having two.

The Job Search Express is going full tilt.

Enjoy Carole King.


Part of the Plan

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

So the plan is for me to find a new gig, whether through my agency or on my own. And it's looking like the agency is not going to do as well for me as I'll be able to do for myself.

But in the meantime I need to keep everything straight, and that's quite a chore. My notes keep getting longer and longer, and more convoluted. Fortunately, I'm the Notetaking Queen most of the time. Right now it's just a matter of keeping it all together, plus I have to continually keep up with my schedule.

All of this busyness is great, of course. There's a lot of interest in my skill set, plus already the interviews are being scheduled. I am hoping to be set before the end of May. We'll see how realistic that is. In the meantime, I'm also exercising way more than usual because otherwise my brain is racing with everything that's happening.

Hence I'm exhausted, too.

Last night I dreamt I was watching someone ride a horse on a crazy tilt, and then when I got closer I saw that the horse was balancing on one foot, too. It feels a bit like that: a lot is happening and there's a boatload of finesse that's got to go on in order to keep me from falling on my face. In the meantime, I tilt at a crazy angle and hope for the best. I know it will all work out in time but I'm notoriously impatient with this process.

This change, though, I think is good for me. I was stagnating where I was, and was miserably bored. I will get to a good destination.

But I have to get there first. Maybe I should straighten up my horse.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESPAH 4/11/2008 5:51PM

    That's fascinating. I love dream interpretations.

So essentially it's about energy -- which makes sense to me -- but to my mind it's also that it's a little off-kilter. Perhaps that's due to the emotions of the job ending.

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TREPPILS 4/11/2008 10:41AM

    I found this on YahooAnswers. The poster says its from the Dream Book, which I have at home, but of course I am at work so I can't verify.

A dream of a horse or horses represents the energy @ the dreamers disposal. A white horse represents the spiritual awareness of the dreamer. Different colors mean different things. a horse harnessed to a cart means you may be concentrating too much on thoroughly utilitarian objectives.

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JESPAH 4/10/2008 5:33AM

    Thank you. :)

I love music, particularly lyrics, and something always finds a way of speaking to me.

It's a pleasure, too; in the morning I find the song through the Spark websearch feature and then listen to it before I go to work.

Sometimes I know what I'm going for but today I have no idea so it's a mystery. ...

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TCEDEROTH 4/9/2008 11:20PM

    Dreams are our way of working through what's going on in our lives and you've analysed your dream quite well.

I know something great is in store for you.

BTW, I love how you link to a song on YouTube and include lyrics in your blog title. Every time I see a new blog entry from you I try to guess which song, and by whom before I go and watch it. The song is always relevant to your blog too.

Way Cool.

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