Thursday, April 10, 2008
Today was my farewell lunch at my old place and, as promised, they had salad for me. There was also pizza and cake and they didn't interest me. There were also sandwiches and I grabbed grilled chicken and ate just the chicken. I left the bread and even left the cheese.
My coworkers, possibly because I'm leaving, finally realized I've been losing weight. So I spilled that it's been 34 lbs. When I first started doing this, I unofficially thought that people who didn't know would notice after about 40 lbs. Weighing myself this morning, I'm actually more like 36+ lbs. off (the 34 is official). So I wasn't too far off the mark.
I selected today's song because, even with a job that I didn't love, it's still an emotional experience to leave. And I feel I have friends there. Tomorrow is the real last day and the only thing keeping me from being a wreck is that I have a phone screening and may end up having two.
The Job Search Express is going full tilt.
Enjoy Carole King.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
So the plan is for me to find a new gig, whether through my agency or on my own. And it's looking like the agency is not going to do as well for me as I'll be able to do for myself.
But in the meantime I need to keep everything straight, and that's quite a chore. My notes keep getting longer and longer, and more convoluted. Fortunately, I'm the Notetaking Queen most of the time. Right now it's just a matter of keeping it all together, plus I have to continually keep up with my schedule.
All of this busyness is great, of course. There's a lot of interest in my skill set, plus already the interviews are being scheduled. I am hoping to be set before the end of May. We'll see how realistic that is. In the meantime, I'm also exercising way more than usual because otherwise my brain is racing with everything that's happening.
Hence I'm exhausted, too.
Last night I dreamt I was watching someone ride a horse on a crazy tilt, and then when I got closer I saw that the horse was balancing on one foot, too. It feels a bit like that: a lot is happening and there's a boatload of finesse that's got to go on in order to keep me from falling on my face. In the meantime, I tilt at a crazy angle and hope for the best. I know it will all work out in time but I'm notoriously impatient with this process.
This change, though, I think is good for me. I was stagnating where I was, and was miserably bored. I will get to a good destination.
But I have to get there first. Maybe I should straighten up my horse.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Every day I leave the house, I put on a green and white Winter jacket or the navy blue jacket. This is nothing remarkable, except that I didn't fit into either of them until February or so.
Fit isn't quite the right word. I got into them. I could zip them up. They did not make me look like a sausage stuffed into an acid green and white or navy casing.
But it wasn't a good fit. They did not reach over the hips unless pulled. And I had to pull on them more or less all day long.
Today the navy (the smaller of the two) fit just fine. I barely noticed except I saw my image reflected in a bus window and then realized, "Hey, I haven't been pulling down the jacket to cover my rapidly disappearing keister!"
This might seem like not so much but for the fact that this jacket has never fit me properly. Ever.
Until today. The Red Sox had been losing. But today was the home opener, and so they've returned to their winning ways. I'm confident that that will continue. For them it was just a minor setback. Everyone gets them but those setbacks, they pass.
And then, one day, a miracle happens, and your keister is covered by your jacket automatically, just like it's supposed to be. Or suddenly your pitching and hitting come together. :)
But that's not a miracle, because miracles imply divine intervention and, even if you pray and pray, the act being done is outside of anything you do. This was no miracle. I did it. Yep. L'il ole me. Today was gonna go in the win column no matter what the Sox did. But they pulled it out, too. They did it.
Sometimes it all comes together. And before you know it, your keister starts to REALLY disappear.
Monday, April 07, 2008
I'm having one of those days where nothing is satisfying and I'm antsy.
This is all directly tied to lunar events, so don't mind me. I'm just going to rant about nothing that important (so what else is new?). I woke up this morning and was down .4 lbs. from last week. This is fine except it's up 2.2 since Sunday morning. Again, lunar stuff. You'd think I'd be happy with a loss, and intellectually I know I should be. But it all looms large because if I lose another .6 lbs. then I make my second goal. I was hoping to do it this week, but such was not to be. Durn lunarosity.
In the meantime, I continue to look for work. There are stretches when you look, when there's not a heckuva lot you can do other than wait for someone to get back to you. You've applied wherever you can apply, you've networked to everyone and his brother, and you've done all the usual updating things, like update the resume and improve it on Monster and Dice and anywhere else it may be hanging.
I am at that point, and it's driving me nuts. Oh, I look at all of the websites in the morning. And I make all of my phone calls. And then .... I watch paint dry.
The weather stunk today (yet again!) so it was not a good day for a midday walk but later this week it will be. And that's what I'll do. It'll make me less antsy, it'll pass the time, and it's a little bit of playing hard to get with the recruiters. Looking for work in 2008 resembles a girl looking for a prom date in 1948. You make yourself available to the local talent, you're courteous and cheerful to all, and then you sit at home by the telephone. And if you make yourself a little bit unavailable, e. g. you're not immediately reachable by phone (or email or whatever), you cultivate an aura of mystery and desirability. But that can backfire if you're too unavailable. And, in the meantime, you dream about your prom gown -- but you don't tempt fate so much that you actually buy one until the transaction is complete and the date is made.
I want to go to the Prom already. This waiting is for the birds. It's one of the things I can do without.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I heard this song recently on the radio and remembered how much I like it and really pretty much anything from REM.
Things are proceeding apace here. I am on target for my next minigoal, although the monthly fun has arrived so it's possible that, even with best efforts, I won't get it this week as I tend to retain water and salt like nobody's business.
I'm perimenopausal so the monthly stuff is more like the every-three-weeks stuff but that's harder to say and wastes syllables.
And we all know about the tragic syllable shortage. Please give generously.
In other news, I've done more trying on of stuff and am pleasantly surprised to report that my hips may be finally starting to obey my command to shrink. I have fitted much better into two jackets lately, the green and white winter one and the navy blue slicker. Neither of these have ever fit me in the hips; they've always either pulled or had to be yanked down or just worn open. Not any more.
I put on an old flannel shirt yesterday. It's two sizes away, but gets on just fine and is not tight in the arms or shoulder blades. Another four inches or so in the chest and it will fit with extreme ease. Heck, it'll probably fit after two, two and a half.
The cranberry blazer is almost fitting perfectly in the hips. Maybe one more inch, inch and a half, and it will lie flat and together when buttoned.
I even -- because I'm insane -- tried on the jean jacket, even though it's three sizes too small and stiff (no elastic). I could button all but the lower two buttons! I have every confidence that I will wear it by the end of the summer, if not before.
I still have swimsuits to try on, but that's for next weekend. In the meantime, minigoal #2, here I come!
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