Monday, October 14, 2013
I have not blogged for a good six weeks, and chances are very, very good that I won't be blogging again for another six or more.
Lots of reasons. One of those is that I had been feeling less than optimal, and blogging can be a bit of me entertaining people. The truth was, I didn't feel particularly entertaining. And so the blog sat, as I did other things.
I also didn't have a lot to report. The same few pounds were traded, over and over again. It was repetitive, it was boring, and I doubted anyone wanted to read about it. I certainly didn't want to write about it.
Today, though,, I want to tell you about why I will not be blogging for over a month, and what that means, not only to me specifically, but also as a dieter/lifestyle changer/whatever the hell you want to call me these days.
The difference is that I am going to attempt to do NaNoWriMo ( nanowrimo.org/participants/jespah ) this year. Yes, I am going to try to write a full novel during the month of November, of at least 50,000 words.
I feel it will get and keep me disciplined and focused. It won't be quite so easy to just while away a few hours every day playing Words With Friends or otherwise messing around. I will have to get a good 1700 - 2000 words written every day in order to get there. So that means that messing around is not something that I can allow myself to do. I will need to write.
Fortunately, I already have an outlined plot in mind. I am already thinking and dreaming about it. Dialogue is already forming in my brain. So at least the first few days will be a bit like taking dictation. That's the best time when you are a writer. It's the taking dictation part, where it feels like the characters are just commanding you to get it onto paper or pixels. You listen, they speak, you copy what they said, and that's that.
I am also doing this, and I am telling you, because it is a *scary* thing. Halloween is coming in 17 days and I don't dress up anymore so this is, instead, my scary thing to do.
I don't care if you are a writer or not. But my suggestion to you, my challenge to you, before the end of this calendar year (and you have some 78 days to go) is for you to do something that scares the tar out of you.
Ask that amazing person out. Skate board. Sky dive. Do some public speaking. Hell, do stand up. Climb a mountain. Show somebody your diary. Take karate classes.
Scare yourself. Shake up your world. Be different.
What have YOU done to scare yourself?
Monday, September 02, 2013
Hitting the big 5-1 today.
It is humid as hell.
I am running my 45th 5K.
It has been a troubling year. And it is times like this that I am more melancholy and reflect back, and the reflection is not a positive one.
I am well aware of what I have accomplished ... and what I haven't. Of what exists ... and what doesn't. Of what is easy ... and what is difficult. Of what is here ... and what can never be here again.
Now, don't go nuts. I am not in such an awful despair that I need medical intervention.
I am just tired of, well, of all of the stuff from this year from Hades.
And stuff is not the word I would use, but this is Spark, so stuff it is.
My birthday wish, to YOU, and to myself, is that we all deal with a lot less stuff in the next 12 months.
Monday, August 05, 2013
This song has some not so nice lyrics. Proceed accordingly.
Life has lately been a slog. I can't really say any more. I have been exercising and watching, don't worry about that. It's just watching everything around me get nutty. And I can't really give specifics (privacy of others).
I'll just say that I am tired of having this weight on me.
Or at least I would like for it to count as strength training.
Monday, July 22, 2013
A quick post.
I doubt I got the job referenced in my last blog post. Ah, well. And so it goes, like Nick Lowe sings.
I do need to get out of my own way, in that and in all other areas.
It has been hot as hell here, and it is finally a semblance of cooling down, but it stills feels humid and draggy here, as if July were bumping along a rough and muddy road, getting mired down in, well, I don't know what. The past, maybe. Julys often seem difficult, I have found. Likely it is due to the weather, but also due to the late, late sun. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, so not enough sun is also a cause for concern, but I think too much light can do it, too. It just seems like too too much, like a radio that's too loud, or perfume that's too cloying or a too-sweet artificially sweetened so-called treat with a bitter aftertaste.
But enough; I said this was going to be a short entry, and so it shall be. I need to go out and walk before it gets hot again.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Man oh man, the heat continues. We had a few days of a reprieve and now we're back to it. In between there, I ran my - no lie - 44th 5K.
It was NOT a pretty sight. It wasn't sunny and it was actually not too super-hot but man oh man it was humid. It was like moving through a wet rag. And of course speed suffers from such things. Ah, well. I don't run 'em to qualify for the Olympics or anything, yanno.
In the meantime, I am more actively looking for work. Today I had my third phone screen and - eek - I am afraid that, this time, I blew it. I was late, and that is never a good sign. It is hard to recover from that, and it was my own stupid fault. At least I admitted it, but I feel dopey. It just feels like it was going along all right and then I tripped over my own feet.
So, amidst the ugly sweaty humidity, I also feel like I screwed up royally. Feh.
Good news? I suppose there is some. I have been drowning my sorrows in water and not ice cream.
But this was, possibly, another form of self-sabotage. And that has got to stop.
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