Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Between extensive home remodeling and my husband's summer vacation, my life has been quite busy and a little hectic sometimes. I gained some weight back :( Started my workouts again yesterday and today. With everyone back at work, I only have myself and the kids to focus on. They like eating "light" with me, so it's easier to balance meals for just us (my husband works very long hours) I hate to say it, but sometimes that's the reason it's easy to cheat, because I felt like I cooked 24/7 on "vacation". No time to work out, etc.....things seem much calmer this week and I like that. I just have 15-20 lbs to go to reach my goal weight. Seems like so little, but I know the challenges that arise when you are trying to do something right for yourself. Talked to my counselor this morning and she agreed that baby steps are important. There is no magic number on the scale I want to see, I just want to drop at least 1-2 more pant sizes, and feel better about this ol' body.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Hi everyone! My name is Jovi and I'm a mom to 2 wonderful sons. My oldest is special needs (cerebral palsy) and is in a wheelchair. He's 11 yrs old and needs 24 hr care. The love and fierce protection I feel for him, is unexplainable. There are days that I wish things were different or easier...but the love I feel in my heart for him in unconditional. I gave up my job (as well as other things) in my life, to be home to care for him. That's where my weight gain comes in. I feel guilty if I say that it was because of him that I ballooned to 202 lbs (I'm 5"2) in April of this past year. It's not his fault at all. But, I think I used the excuse that he's immobile, and needed to be lifted at least 7 times a day, that I had no more energy to even think about excercise or taking a walk to keep my weight down. The mental stress caring for someone who has a chronic condition also made me eat. Constantly. I rarely cooked, so we ate out a lot to break of up the monotony. I have a valued family and friend support system. But my husband works a lot, so I can stay at home. Believe me when that day came, that I would carry my 55 lb son upstairs to bathe him or put him to bed, and I would be so out of breath and see spots......I serious began to believe I would die of a heart attack one day. Where would my sons be if I got seriously ill or had a stroke or died?? That was my wake up card. I have lost almost 25 lbs since then and more inches than I thought possible. I still have a way to go, but I began to look at my health as a goal of valued importance. It's important because my little guys depend on me right now. I don't know what the future holds...can't worry about that. All I know is right now. I've started becoming more organized, so I can schedule cooking time accordingly. Now that summer is here, it's hard...but not impossible to eat fresh, home cooked meals. My sons both love vegetables and salads. SP has been a God-send. What a wonderful tool to keep track of our fitness journey's while meeting so many wonderful people. If we can encourage one another, I would greatly appreciate it. Many people are compasionate to our struggles....but you can't really understand what it's like to care for a loved one with a physical challenge, until you go through it yourself, or see it first hand. My sons are 11 & 10 yrs old. My youngest son tells me how proud he is of my efforts so far. Lifting my son when I have to has become quite a bit easier without the extra pounds. Thanks for letting me share. If you ever need to vent, I'm here for anyone :)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
This month has been an emotional high and low for me. It's grad season and I got to attend the ceremonies for two very special young people in my life. How I've come to realize that I was such an emotional eater! If I'm happy or anxious, I love to eat. If I'm sad however, I can't eat because my stomach is in knots about this or that. If I'm bored or restless, have nothing to do, I eat.
These past two months of counting and tracking as many calories as I can, have been such an eye opener. It's made me think of how I've had to start from the beginning and elminate eating out of boredom, loneliness or joy. Sad but true. Now, sometimes I'm so hungry while preparing food (I try not to be but it happens) and when we sit down to a meal, I enjoy it more because I know we've taken the time to prepare it while being health conscious. Eating out from fast food restaurants have been another habit I've broken. Not easy, but so worth it.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
Saw a friend this Thursday and hadn't seen her in about a month. She immediately noticed and commented that I looked thinner. When you see yourself everyday, it's kind of hard to tell. I was happy for her comments and she told me she was proud of my progress. I was weighing 202 lbs on my 5'2 frame....not good people!!!!! It was scary now! I'm telling you, every time I'd walk upstairs, I was seeing spots and so out of breath, it truly scared me. That's how I knew something had to change. But how? When?
The weight is coming off verrrrrry slowly...but it's coming off. I'm done beating myself up about that. I have lost inches and dropped a shoe size, as well as a pant size! I'm not afraid to look at my body reflection in the mirror at a store anymore. Yesterday in the frozen food section at a grocery store, I caught a side view of myself as I waited for my son to pick up some items. I noticed that the huge belly gut I'd been carrying was gone. I still look heavy, but I don't look out of proportion anymore.
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