JERSEYFLOWER   25,020
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JERSEYFLOWER's Recent Blog Entries

Struggling to find my way back

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I'm lost. And I know it.

I know where I want to be. I know what I need to do to get there.

So why am I not there? Why am I not doing it?

Tonight I logged into SparkPeople for the first time in months. This is a step.

I'm slowly beginning to eat healthier. Make better choices. Watch portion control. Exercise.

I know it takes time. Have you ever read the book The Tipping Point? Good book. The idea is that in anything - getting healthier, fashion trends, anything - it takes time for the small changes, the ones that are so tough to start, to take hold. Once they do, it reaches a tipping point and in the future, these changes won't take nearly as much effort, but will reap larger rewards.

I have to stop beating myself up for being off track. I also need to figure out how to be on track now that I have a toddler. The last time I was on track was when I was pregnant and when he was a newborn. It was so much easier then.

I logged into SparkPeople tonight. That is a step.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUBBALOOGA123 7/11/2014 12:45AM

    I know this -- totally been there, done that. I also know that without some sort of plan or program in place, I will yo-yo right back to where I started.

Please feel free to join our group: 100 Days to a New You Challenge...ongoing. I'm a co-leader and it's a pretty active group. If you decide to join, you can do your challenge as a streak or add as you go.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/
myspark/groups_individual.asp?g
id=62529

Wishing you lots of success on your journey in healthy living! :)

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VIADOLOROSA 7/10/2014 11:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BUSYGRANNY5 7/10/2014 11:46PM

    Good for you!!! It doesn't matter how many times we fall down as long as we get up one more time than we fall!!! Keep on keeping on and refuse to give up on yourself!

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The Fallacy of Gym Class

Saturday, August 10, 2013

When I was in school my interests, ability and intelligence were all taken into consideration when the guidance counselors and my parents decided which courses I should take. Because of that, I was surrounded by people with similar interests, ability and intelligence. We all worked hard, challenged ourselves. The kids in the "lower" courses worked hard and challenged themselves, but the material was slightly different. The kids in the "higher" courses also worked hard and challenged themselves, and their material was more rigorous than mine.

However, when it came to gym class, all bets were off. Athletes and the sedentary side by side, with the same goals and being graded in the same way.

I hated gym class. (Guess which one I was, the athlete or the sedentary.)

It taught me that I was inadequate. That physical activity was not enjoyable. That only the athletes performed well.

I remember wearing a gray Champion sweatshirt on my last day of running - in June - sweating profusely, but refusing to wear a t-shirt because I wanted to hide my body. I remember thinking: Nobody is ever going to force me to run again. I remember feeling embarrassed that I was sweating so badly, so redfaced, so dead last. Pushing myself unhealthily way past my limits, just to try to keep up with the more fit kids, to minimize the appearance of failing so badly.

Is this any way to educate kids?

It took years for me to move beyond the mentality that exercise was for gym class. To realize that physical movement can be enjoyable. That it is needed for a healthy life. That even though I am not a track star, a field hockey player, that I can compete against myself and be measured against my own ability and progress.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMACASSEY 8/16/2013 9:30AM

    I felt the same way about gym and feel the same way about running now... I wasn't an athlete in school, but I was active--dance classes for a total of 11.5 years, and when I got to high school and started driving, got into theater arts and had a job, too... I remember trying to be athletic, in the beginning, but I really think my downhill slide away from it began with the Presidential Fitness tests they started having us do every year, how many pushups and situps and pull ups can you do... and by the way, we're not going to prepare for this by learning and doing them in P.E. until the day of the tests.

I'm so glad I'm past that, now, and can decide I'm going to run a mile, or three.



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STSCOTT11 8/16/2013 9:00AM

    Good blog. Interesting to see this perspective.
I was never an athelete, not an over weight youth...I just didn't like being dragged outside to bake in the sun and run around with seemingly no purpose and be graded on it.
I think your right though...THERE IS A LESSON IN THE LESSON that for some is really negative. Perhaps part of the lesson should be THE VALUE OF FITNESS currently and throughout life. Your sedentary youthful ways made way for a lady THAT THINKS...which in life is equally valuable.

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FANGFACEKITTY 8/16/2013 8:42AM

    I hated gym too, even though on the outside I had no reason too. I was "normal" sized, not over-weight so "should have" had no problems...but I am a klutz and not well coordinated and really don't do well in team sports. I was always one of the last ones picked, which is a complete confidence killer, no matter one's size.

Today it is even worse in gym classes. Many schools now have pools, which they did not back in the day, so swimming is a mandatory part of gym. No excuses. So not only do the "non-competitors" still have to deal with the humiliation of being picked last and ridicule for their efforts, they get to do so in a bathing suit too.

And gym class itself is, of course, mandatory to "help combat the obesity epidemic". Somehow I think they've failed on this point.

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CHUBBEGONE28 8/10/2013 11:56PM

    So true! I have never thought of how gym class could be a roadblock to lifelong exercise success. I always dreaded gym class....everyone staring as students take turns competing in sports while a teacher stands by with their whistle. My least favorite was dodgeball. Eek! It is true that from a young age, children are likely grouping themselves in two categories:

1. Those who can compete
2. Those who should take up a different hobby (I chose the arts)

I am still trying to find the enjoyment in exercise. Work in progress, right? :)

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IMOFF2DLOONYBIN 8/10/2013 11:30AM

    I feel like I could have written this blog. It spoke to me. I hated gym class because from the time I was little I was always the last one. Last one to be picked and the last one to finish an exercise. I hated gym. I think it's part of why I still hate exercise.

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MoD? Uh....no. Wait a minute, YES!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Motivator of the Day, huh. What a way to feel simultaneously proud and guilty all at once!

My initial reaction was shame. If they REALLY knew how I'm not progressing, they'd take it back.

Then, I remembered this journey is mostly mental attitude. And I re-evaluated. And I thought, "Yes, yes I am deserving of this."

Am I at my goal weight? No. Have I made progress to the point that I no longer consider my everyday things to be "progress" but just everyday life? Bingo.

I started Sparking on January 1, 2011. Here are 10 things I've accomplished:

1) I was able to get pregnant naturally! Unspecified infertility - I always thought it was weight related. They said no. I got healthier. I got pregnant.

2) I participate in local 5k events. Just for fun. I left the house at 4:45 am to participate in the Philadelphia Color Run last weekend (in the disgusting heat!) I look at pictures of myself and think, "Ick." But, let's reframe that - I am looking at pictures of myself participating in a 5k - just for fun - with a smile on my face.

3) I eat vegetables every day.

4) Instead of meeting up for drinks and mozzarella sticks, I ask my girlfriends to meet up for a walk to catch up.

5) I don't have a pile of things at the bottom of the stairs that have to be brought up the stairs at the end of the day. It is not a burden to just go up the steps a few times during the day.

6) I made the transition to mostly-stay-at-home mom and did not find it overwhelming to be near my kitchen most of the day.

7) I can tend my flowerbeds out front without being embarrassed that a random neighbor is going to talk to me and I'm going to be red-faced and out of breath.

8) The other day I felt two soft spots on either side of my belly where the skin feels a little funny and it sticks out just a smidge, right where my baby's behind and feet nestled into me when I carried him in my womb. Instead of being grossed out by my body I smiled. My body did an amazing thing and I smiled from the memory of it.

9) When I think of "things I want to do", I think of experiences I want to have, instead of places where I want to eat.

10) I am happy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 7/26/2013 4:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BASS6196 7/25/2013 4:09PM

    emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 7/25/2013 6:07AM

    I love #1. Infertility is a heartbreak and I wish more people had the drug-free resolution you did. And you are healthier for life, and your child too!

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ERICADAWN1986 7/24/2013 10:27PM

    Amazing blog! Beautiful!

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TWINZMOM7 7/24/2013 8:41PM

  I love this! You rock!

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MJ7DM33 7/24/2013 8:36PM

  WTG!

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ALLEY2300 7/24/2013 7:06PM

    Way to go!! You have accomplished so much!! Keep at it!!

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JERSEYGRL4EVR 7/24/2013 4:38PM

    emoticon

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GOLFGMA 7/24/2013 4:32PM

    Love this blog and I congratulate you for the wisdom to know how much you have accomplished! emoticon emoticon

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STUDLEEJOE 7/24/2013 4:14PM

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Let's Do This! I'm Back :-)

Monday, April 08, 2013

As I write this it is 3 am and I haven't gone to bed yet. I have heartburn from eating yucky and Tums are not helping. I weigh what I did when I was 6 months pregnant. I have no energy. I have no healthy food in the house.

Rock bottom, you say? Yes, Spark-wise and health-wise.

BUT.

I'm excited. I'm excited that tomorrow (today?) is Monday. That it's the 8th. (I quit smoking on the 8th of a month long ago, so I see it as a motivating number.) That it's going to be absurdly warm. I am psyched to walk back up to the starting line (ewwww, heartburn burp, gross) and jump back into the game.

I'm excited (and proud) that even though I completely lost my way for two months I still have the Spark deep inside. I still feel a connection to myself. I can feel that I am "off" - I know it's not about the scale. If it was just about the scale, I'd still be blissfully off track, as I have gained only 6 pounds. (I feel like absolute hell. It really isn't about the number on the scale.)

I am going to joyfully throw out the junk food tomorrow. I am going to take the baby for a walk. I am going to drink my water. I am going to buy fresh food. I am going to cook a healthy dinner.

I have been trying to get to this point for a few weeks now. Then BOMBCHELL23 and ON2VICTORY truly reached me. My son woke me up from a dream one night - I was dreaming about vacationing with one of my SparkFriends who inspires me the most - BOMBCHELL23 (who I do not know in real life and I've never seen her face!) and I felt so healthy and so happy. After the baby ate, I went back to sleep. When I woke in the morning I had two SparkGoodies - one from BOMBCHELL23. What beautiful timing. (She sent it 20 minutes after I woke up from my dream.) The second SparkGoodie was from ON2VICTORY, my Spark idol. His transformation, physically and emotionally, and the way he works through and manages depression/anxiety (which I have) inspire me. These two wonderfully caring and inspirational people took time to check on my well-being and (pun intended) it sparked something in me.

That day I updated my status for the first time in months. I reached out for help. I admitted defeat. I knew that I needed encouraging words - that the likes, the comments, the SparkGoodies would roll in. They did. I needed each and every one of them. I read them and re-read them.

It took a few days, but I'm ready now. I'm back. I'm pumped. Let's do this!!!

Photo from 2 weeks ago - baby and me :-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYD726 4/25/2013 9:12AM

    He is too cute!

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JACRBUNCH 4/8/2013 4:18PM

    Welcome back. You were my inspiration when I first started Spark. I know you can do this. emoticon

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CENTURYFLOWER 4/8/2013 2:24PM

    Yay! Me too!

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NICOLED40 4/8/2013 12:08PM

    WELCOME BACK JERSEY DEAR! Glad to see you've kept that pilot spark going all this time. emoticon emoticon

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VLKSHA 4/8/2013 11:31AM

    emoticon It's that time again! emoticon

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JENNIK2 4/8/2013 9:10AM

    emoticon back! You can do this!

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CARI2012 4/8/2013 8:56AM

    Hooray! I can FEEL the motivation behind your words. Welcome back!

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TWINZMOM7 4/8/2013 8:34AM

  Welcome back JerseyGirl! So happy to see you!
I too am ready to do this...let's do it together!
You can do it my friend!!!

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POOKASLUAGH 4/8/2013 8:05AM

    It really is about how you feel and what unhealthy food and inactivity do to our moods/body. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that, but glad you're coming back! You should be feeling so much better soon!

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LESLEE33 4/8/2013 7:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LITTLELENNA 4/8/2013 6:16AM

    emoticon emoticon I am so glad you are back! I've missed you on here. You've got this!

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CYALE76 4/8/2013 5:52AM

    So glad you are back. I have missed you, it is so hard stay on track when little ones are involved but I know you can do it ! You little guy is getting so big already and he is absolutely adorable.

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BOMBCHELL23 4/8/2013 5:28AM

    My Jersey Girl,

Thank you for the kudos, I really did not do much. You have gone through such a life altering experience which is awesome. I just wanted you to know I'd be here when you were ready. I am not sure I could have done it when I had my girls and I so respect you for that. Frequently I have become discouraged but I keep walking b/c I don't want to break that streak. I am so glad you found the determination to fight back and attack it head on again. I will be here cheering you on, it's what I do. Let's do this together!

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GHOSTFLAMES 4/8/2013 4:56AM

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CHICKIEMAUI 4/8/2013 3:30AM

    Im so glad youre back! Gosh your baby has gotten so big! How old? Time sure does fly!! emoticon

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CANDEE412 4/8/2013 3:16AM

    Welcome back. Beautiful baby

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Baby doesn't sleep - and other ventings

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Is ventings even a word? I am a writer and a copy editor. Pre-baby I would have known this, or at least looked it up. And I wouldn't question myself if it's "copy editor" or "copyeditor" which I always did forget.

My baby is 20 weeks old. Just shy of 5 months. He sleeps like a newborn. Up almost constantly. My limbs feel like they are on fire I am so tired. I made a special appointment with the pediatrician for advice. Tried it all. That doesn't work either. Against my better judgement I introduced solid foods - "it'll help him sleep through the night" 'they' say. (I had wanted to exclusively breastfeed for six months, per AAP and WHO guidelines.) We have a solid nighttime routine. We have supplemented with daddy giving him a bottle of breastmilk as his meal before bed. Same result. He's up 2 or 3 hours later, no matter what. And wants to be fed!

He is a delightful, joyful little boy. All smiles, lots of laughing. Incredibly physical - started rolling over back-to-belly at 10 weeks and has got a mean yoga "downward dog" position (that is his way of trying to crawl, but he gets stuck, understandably so.) So he's not cranky from lack of sleep (mommy is!). He just doesn't sleep long stretches at night. He goes to bed without a fight, wakes up to eat, goes back to sleep and the cycle continues. In the morning he coos at me to wake me up.

My limbs are on fire. I am forgetful. At times I am downright nasty. I haven't cooked a meal in weeks. I still have a maid service come and clean my house every 2 weeks, despite the fact that I am home most of the time. (I do not share that with people in my real life, I am so embarrassed.) I struggle to keep my empathy toward others. I'm jealous of friends' whose babies sleep through the night. I don't have the energy to exercise - yet exercise makes me feel better. What a Catch-22.

I went back to work last week, part time. Thank God. I can barely survive day to day working just 10 hours a week, there is no way I could survive full time.

During the day I am getting nothing accomplished. At least if I feel like crud, I had been able to keep up with the house - it would make me feel better that things are in their place. Now the baby is clingy and crying during the day and wants to be held through a nap. Thank you, mother-in-law, for introducing that bad habit in the one week she's watched him. Now nightime and daytime are both unproductive.

I absolutely adore this little boy more than words can say. I don't like when people complain on social networks about their kids - won't the kids see it one day? People who have babies who slept through the night at 6 weeks, 2 months, 3 months, even 4 months just don't understand. I am going on five months. This is a special type of torture. His doctor can't help. My friends don't understand. My mom and hubby's mom are not helpful. In fact, they grate on my last nerve at times. No, mom, he's not starving and it's not because I'm breastfeeding. He has fat rolls and is in the 66% for weight. He's fine. No, MIL, it's not because he hasn't had cereal. In fact, after we introduced cereal he was up every 2 hours instead of 3!

I completely lost my train of thought in this ramble.

I never share my real name on Spark, so I feel like I can vent without anyone knowing exactly who I am venting about. I would never share this on FB. Two Spark friends know my real name, so when Tabby and Bombchell read this just forget you know who I am for a second. lol.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOMBCHELL23 2/12/2013 9:17PM

    Jersey Girl,

I have three beautiful daughters but my last baby was colicky and cried constantly, it grated on my nerves b/c my other girls did not do that. She was eating constantly as she was only breastfeeding and refused to take a bottle of breastmilk. I was tired beyond belief and had a husband that drove truck at that time, might as well been single. It was difficult with my last one and I would never go back. I love her with all my heart but she cried so much it tore at me. I was tired and I had to work too full time b/c I had to provide for my family. She was a preemie and that too scared me. I only share this with you because I understand it. Do I have a good solution, no but please know I am here if you need to talk.

If he sleeps during the day do you take a nap too? I also use to nurse my youngest in bed, when I felt her finish I carried her back to her crib and crawled back into bed myself to go back to sleep. Finally she got to the point of only waking up once a night for a feeding but it lasted till I weaned her at 14 months and by that time she weaned herself.



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SUGIRL06 2/11/2013 4:02PM

    emoticon

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STSCOTT11 1/31/2013 3:06PM

    Its a been a while BUT...I REMEMBER. First...don't feel bad.

There are lots of good things we all can say about our beloved children. Just because we don't always say something glowing doesn't mean we don't love them more than we do ourselves.

With that said...for me, exhausted wasn't the words. I was very young and totally unprepared. I had NO IDEA. And I tell you WHAT...age has nothing to do with it. TIRED is TIRED at any age.

The first was a crier. But HOLD ON...I got pregnant with my first two within 6 months.
The second didn't cry as much. She made up for not crying by misbehaving throughout life.

The third was just a normal baby. By then I was divorced BUT I understood THE TRUE MEANING OF FAMILY. I let the two older ones HELP OUT. THAT really helped to share in the duties.

HANG IN THERE. TIME LITERALLY FLIES.
In 2-3 blinks your little bundle with be a crawler...then toddler.
I have three and my oldest is 25 y/o. If anyone would have told me the time would fly as it has I would have called that person a liar. :)

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VERONICAVW_140 1/31/2013 2:47PM

    I'm so sorry! It is such a delicate balance with little ones. I know with my daughter sleep was almost none existent for about 3 or 4 months all together because SHE WOULD ONLY SLEEP ON MY CHEST...ONLY! She'd nap a little in her swing but did not like, in fact hated, sleeping on her back or next to me. She would pitch a fit unless she slept right on top. Of course my pedi told me that this was not safe but it was safe due to the fact that I never slept. I let her sleep and I'd be only dosing off a few minutes throughout the night. We moved her to a nap nanny at about 2.5months and she slept in that for about a month. Then she got sick and would let her sleep on me to comfort her. That lasted for a whole month before I had to ween her from that. We started off by lying her next to me. Even if she cried, I would just side craddler her and reassure her that she was fine. Then once she got used to that we started putting her in her crib. That took lots of picking up and rocking when she'd wake up crying because she couldn't feel me next to her. Then finally she would lay down with out all the hoopla.She is going on 6months next Wednesday and more often than not she wakes up atleast once a night. I can rock her back to sleep but sometimes she'd like a bottle. I'm usually a tired mess at work. So I feel for you, dear! I hope he starts resting better for you. Does he sleep in a crib or in bed with you? I know when Eliana slept next to me she could smell the breast milk and thought it was an all night milk fest! She'd wake up to feed every 30mins.

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 1/31/2013 1:57PM

    Oh do I remember those days well. My son was never a good sleeper he is going to turn 3 in March and I would say 12 months ago he finally sleeps through the whole night. It was pure torture not sleeping, keeping up with the house (not really haha), and working full time. I also had a thyroid condition I had no knowledge of that caused even more exhaustion and other crap.

I sometimes felt like I wasn't mentally there becasue I was so tired and exhausted I LOVE my son to pieces but it was so hard for months. I know it feels bad right now but this time will pass. I don't really have any advice because honestly I tried everything and sometimes they worked and sometimes things didn't.

Just do the best you can and if you can, get help. Sometimes I would sleep right after work and my husband would watch my son, I would wake up around 9/10 pm and take the night shift. It's not perfect or ideal but at least sometimes I got a little unintereupted sleep.



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CENTURYFLOWER 1/31/2013 1:46PM

    Oh my gosh, I was going to add to all the advice you've just gotten! Ha Ha! Okay, but I guess I'm going to anyway. I have had some education on this. It is part of my job educating people about babies and sleep, among other things, and you're my friend so I'm going to get even more detailed with you so that you know what I know. It helps to know WHY they have to wake up. This is the sign of a growing brain. They have to wake up and they have to go through light (REM sleep) and heavy sleep. Light sleep is when they get waves of nourishment to their brain while they dream (it happens with all of us but much more frequently with babies. Their "wake---light sleep---deep sleep" cycles because their brains are growing like crazy!. They also wake up very easily in REM state, and so if you try to put them down while they are in REM sleep, they will usually wake up and cry. Wait until they go into deep sleep to put them down. At about 5-6 months the pattern of light and heavy sleep starts to change to longer periods of heavy sleep. As someone who tracks baby weights and lengths, a sleepy infant can sometimes be a red flag to me that something is wrong. The main thing to know is that it is not a good goal to try to get a baby to sleep through the night... it would be like making them go against their biological needs....instead roll with their schedule. Also all of the studies ever done show that they do not sleep more when given any kind of extra food... although people will swear it does.... but it's usually just that they are starting to get older and the light and heavy sleep cycle is changing. Alright... this video is pretty basic with these concepts but it's very helpful to see it all visually:
http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=eX2ijdLnIJU
If the link doesn't work, type in "Getting to Know your Baby" into youtube and it will talk about sleep for the first part of it. It's from Californiawic, the total is about 16 minutes . Ask me questions on myspark page if you need to know more. I haven't checked my mail in ages. Sorry for all the advice... but I hope it helps. luv ya, girl!

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CHICKIEMAUI 1/30/2013 8:55PM

    This was in my email today, it may be useless but just in case :)


By 6 months, your baby is still racking up an impressive 14 total hours of sleep a day, and if she's like 60 percent of babies her age, the vast majority of that happens at night, thankfully. The rest is broken up between two or three naps during the day. If you're having trouble getting your little one to sleep through the night, try eliminating her third nap, or cutting back on how long she naps (no longer than an hour at a time), small changes that could make her ready for longer stretches of sleep at night.

Sleeping through the night, of course, isn't static. Some babies who were sleeping through the night at 4 months might relapse a bit now. There are a number of possible reasons, but a big one might be separation anxiety, which hits hard right around 6 months. Your baby is starting to understand that you're around even when she can't see you, but she can't comprehend that you'll always come back -- a developmental combo that makes her upset when you leave her alone. Separation anxiety is a totally normal developmental stage that peaks around 10 months, and while you can't prevent it, you can ease it by playing a game during the day where you go into a nearby room and call to her, so she knows you're there, even if she can't see you. If she gets upset at night, it's OK to comfort her with pats, singing, or talking, but try not to take Baby out of the crib to cuddle her. You'll create a hard-to-break habit.

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CHICKIEMAUI 1/30/2013 8:08PM

    Im so sorry for what you are going through! Leighton and Oliver were sleep through the night babies, but I am telling you ! Ethan and Ivy were not!! Ivy was the crankiest baby, always and her terrible 2s were even worse! Ethans story was different, he was born with a genetic disease that he nearly did not live through and even now he has so many troubles in life (it is heartbreaking but I am so thankful he is alive) Im going to be honest with you and if my husband ever reads this post I may be in trouble ;) but Im going to tell you anyways. When Ethan was born he had a lot of problems (I know I just said that) but I also worked FT graves. I would get home from work at 6:30 a.m. and almost instantly fall asleep to have my husband wake me up an hour later to go with him to take Ethan to a appt. (he had appts with various Drs almost daily) and then when I got home I would fall asleep but he would always wake me up for stupid reasons! I went years with not having enough sleep and I was fat, cranky and not okay! Mine went on longer then yours will (I hope) but you are such a good momma and soon your angel will sleep longer. Im sorry about your MIL and all of the advice (even in good spirit) that is not doing much to make you feel better .. I have a mom like that too lol Just come here and vent all you want and that "new mommy fog" will be a distant memory one day! Until then do what you can and know the "mess" you are seeing and feeling now are only temporary. Especially if this is your first, there is an adjustment period regardless but it was longer (for me) with my first! emoticon

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WANT2BEFIT10 1/30/2013 6:04AM

    I am so sorry. There is nothing worse than NOT GETTING SLEEP! Big hugs to you; hope the doc has some helpful suggestions emoticon

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MRSGOFARR 1/30/2013 12:13AM

    Yikes -

I would say starting food may have been too early. Its upsetting his tummy. 2nd, use natural oils like lavender and chamomile to bath baby and help them sleep at night. Tried and tested by ped around the world. Pour into bath and bathe. Buy at whole foods.

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CYALE76 1/29/2013 8:41PM

    I feel for you, wish I had some advice that someone has not already given you but it sounds as though you have already tried it all. My son had acid reflux when he was a baby and would scream every night once we finally got him on his medicine he slept better because his belly no longer hurt, then my daughter had colic and cried for the first 4 months I swear every night all night, I know how exhausting it can be, I promise it will get better, but until then I wish you luck in getting some sleep and staying sane. emoticon

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LITTLELENNA 1/29/2013 5:43PM

    How frustrating for you :(. The only thing I can say is, it will get better. I assume you have tried the "let them cry" method at night? Best of luck and prayers that it will soon end and he will sleep through the night for you.

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DB1167 1/29/2013 4:52PM

    I feel for ya! My youngest didn't sleep well until he was almost 5. He would sleep maybe 3 nights out of 7. I don't have any motherly pointers. I would of thought that cereal would of helped alittle. My cousin's baby was the same way this summer and she had to supplement with formula cause the baby thought she need to eat all the time and she was breast feeding and couldn't keep up. As soon as she started her on formula she started to sleep better through the night. We figured she was missing something in breast milk that baby formula gave her. Good Luck and try to stay sane! I know that's impossible when you can't remember what your bed feels like...haha.

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CARI2012 1/29/2013 4:12PM

    I feel so bad for you, because I can feel your pain! My son did not sleep through the night until he was more than 9 months old. I have never in my life been as exhausted as I was and needless to say I was not a fun person to be around!

It's ok to need help. Many people hire cleaning services- it's how they stay in business! If you can afford it and it doesn't put a hardship on you, I don't see any reason to stop it OR to feel guilty about it. It's just one small thing you do to keep your sanity, and there's no shame in that!

Advice from all directions... I can definitely relate to that. I don't have any advice on getting your cherub to cooperate at night. During the day, have you tried baby-wearing? We had a Moby wrap and that was absolutely phenomenal. He could feel like he was being snuggled and I could get things done! It wasn't even a hassle to have him sleeping in it while I hung laundry or did dishes or anything!

I am so sorry that you are so tired... it seems unfair sometimes just how much we sacrifice for our little ones without even batting an eye. Just know that it WILL NOT last forever... someday you WILL be able to get some rest!

Post as many "ventings" as you need to; we are here for you... emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 1/29/2013 3:49PM

    Our boys were like that. They did NOT want to sleep, and I discovered really early on that MOM NEEDS SLEEP. I cannot get up in the night, feed a kid, then go back to bed. I just can't - I won't sleep for hours afterwards. My husband, on the other hand, can get up multiple times a night without ever really waking up, feed the baby, and fall right back to sleep, without remembering in the morning that it happened. By the time our oldest was six months old, he sat me down and begged me to let him get up with the baby in the night, because we would all be happier if he did. And so from that time on, he got up for nighttime feedings, I got sleep, and eventually the boys did learn to sleep through the night (though sometimes not until 13 or 14 months - or in the case of my one semi-autistic child, not until 3 years old).

I didn't breastfeed my kids. I tried, but they all needed too much milk too quickly, and the demand was impossible, and frankly I didn't WANT to breastfeed them. So I didn't. I don't feel guilty for this at all, because even though they were formula fed, they got plenty of love and attention during feedings. Because they demanded so much food, though - 5 or 6 oz every couple hours by the time they left the hospital - we introduced each of them to solids by the time they were 4 months old. Two of them took rice cereal okay, one only took yogurt (whole milk, plain yogurt). By six months, half their food came from table foods, and I don't feel guilty for that either, because it's what they needed. By five months, they were mostly refusing milk because it didn't fill them up.

I'm not saying you should throw solids at your boy or anything like that - I just want to say that I can understand your exhaustion and frustration, especially with a bunch of different advice coming to you from different directions. It could be all sorts of things, from sleeping position to ambient noise to humidity levels to an element in the breastmilk to just the child's temperament. Don't be afraid to try something new or to go against advice if you think it might help your son (and you!).

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JACRBUNCH 1/29/2013 3:41PM

    emoticon

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JAYMELYNN5 1/29/2013 3:20PM

    We went thru the same thing! I don't have any special advise for you ........ we never found a solution. emoticon

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CRYSUNSHINE714 1/29/2013 3:20PM

    I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I've been so lucky with my little princess, She is 9 weeks old and sleeps 10 hours at night. She has 32 oz a day and a tea spoon of cereal mixed with formula. I did breast feed in the beginning but had a skin infection and I had stopped. The formula seems to hold her over plus she is more full. She gets 8 oz at a time and it's perfect. Maybe he's not getting enough milk or is confusing hunger with gas. (Which happens a lot). That's what was happening to me in the beginning. She was up every two hours screaming like I never fed her before. My mom suggested giving her a sugar bottle. It's 3 oz of warm water with a 1/4 of a tsp of sugar. It's awesome... the sugar breaks up the gas. I wish you all the luck in the world! I hope everything works out!

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