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Day 45 of Insanity... I'm losing it!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My mind? Yes, I might be losing that too. Ha. But I'm losing weight. This I know!

It is amazing to me how hard this program is, but also, how 100% worth it it is. I love doing it, especially when I see improvement.

You see, here are some things I DID NOT expect.
1 - I can do a push up to where my chest hits the ground (I do not have a large chest) - actually, I can do several, but my point is, that is NOT something I could do before I started, but I can now. And it is awesome.
2- I can run, faster and farther. I didn't really think about how the cardio fitness of Insanity would translate. But it has. It is really fun.

I think, by looking at things differently, I'm seeing results and changes where I might not have before. It is really fun to see certain changes in yourself, your attitude, and where you are improving in little ways.

Max Interval Plyo was today, and it is a LOT of jumping and etc. Good gracious, it is crazy... or maybe I am for doing it. But I love how I feel when I'm done. I love pushing myself as hard as I can. I love digging deeper, and love the motivation that the workout provides.

Man, just two and a half weeks to go. I can't believe how far I've come. I know there is a ways to go, but thanks to the view, I am enjoying the journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOEE45 10/22/2014 9:50PM

    I love to hear that you love it!! I am on week 2 but i know what you mean about feeling great after! Keep up the awesome work!! emoticon

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CZESTES 10/22/2014 9:17PM

I can't do any of these, but reading this makes me want to. Sounds wonderful!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/22/2014 6:20PM

    Woohoo - you make me want to work harder which I'm happy about!!!
And I have to admit - I got nervous when I read the title .....

Comment edited on: 10/22/2014 6:21:16 PM

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EJOY-EVELYN 10/22/2014 4:31PM

    That's great news!

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RITEEBEE 10/22/2014 2:44PM

    That is amazing!! emoticon

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CARADAWN 10/22/2014 1:46PM

    Awesome attitude and keep kicking but emoticon

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144AUTUMN 10/22/2014 1:09PM

  Keep up the good work!!

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BLONDEDOG 10/22/2014 1:07PM

    This makes me heart smile, I swear it does. Every day it seems like you're learning something new about yourself. You have inspired me so much and reading your progress has helped remind me who I can be.

Thank you.

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Day 44 and figuring some things out!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Today was Max INterval Training. My hair was so wet from sweat that I barely had any dry spots other than part of my ponytail. The bottom part even gets wet where it hits the rest of my body. SERIOUSLY. DRENCHED.

I mentioned that I had apparently (my body) wanted to binge this weekend. Someone pointed out that it was probably from a lack of sleep (three days with 5 or less hours) and I know they are right. It was the first time since I started this journey that I have gotten SO little sleep so many days in a row. It was nice to figure out what was causing or could have been causing a little of those issues.

Then there was this morning. I have a few little voices in my head. One of them is mean. This morning it pretty much told me that I still was unattractive so why bother continuing with this journey. (I'm paraphrasing) It was funny. Things have been SO busy at home and work and so many places and I'm kind of stretching myself thin (like Mr. Fantastic) but these are things I want to be doing for my sanity, health and relationships. I don't feel overwhelmed, so my coping with everything is fine.

Regardless, back to the nasty voice. I don't know where these thoughts come from sometimes. I just know that in the past, I would sometimes give into them. I am not anymore.

I'm not where I want to be yet, that is true. I AM, however, MUCH closer than I was three months ago.

My body still has too much body fat. But it isn't going to go away by me doing NOTHING, it will only go away if I keep doing what I have been doing. I just have to keep telling myself how much I have changed. Muscle definition is coming it is getting pretty awesome to notice little changes, and I know that it won't be long before more starts coming. I have to be patient. If I hang in and keep going, when it has been a year since I started, I will very likely be where I want. If I quit, I will not be anywhere near it.

Besides, I'm not just doing this for weight loss. I mean, I love that side effect and that my smaller jeans are fitting and such, but it is also so that I'm healthy for the rest of my life. This isn't a journey with a destination. There are stops along the way, but this is just LIFE. If there was a destination, when I got there I would be done. But I'm never going to be done, because life is me exercising and eating right, forever.

I'm looking forward to having these things happen, but I'm also (slowly) learning to enjoy them happening as if it were slow motion. I know I'll get to where I want to be, but I also know that it is just a blip of time before I get there in the grand scheme of things.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LACY77 10/22/2014 8:10AM

    Muscle definition, smaller jeans are fitting... don't let those voices tell you any different when you know the true truth! & the truth is a reason to celebrate your progress! :)

emoticon emoticon

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CHSHULER89 10/22/2014 12:33AM

    Keep it going!! Sleep, voices and stress, a few of biggest things I am learning how to cope with these days. Learning and pushing forward we will... :) Keep up the victories!

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CZESTES 10/21/2014 5:53PM

That nasty little voice in my head will never be happy, she will always say something negative. The more tired or stressed I am, the louder she is.
You are beautiful and doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work that makes you feel good about you!

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BLONDEDOG 10/21/2014 1:40PM

    Great blog and again, me. It's almost eerie. Anyway, that nasty, mean little voice is awful. Isn't it great when you can deal with it in a much healthier way? Used to that voice would cause me to pretty well give up on myself immediately. Congratulations! You've come a long way and you are beautiful inside AND out!

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SUE5007 10/21/2014 1:36PM

    I have a motivational pic of a woman running that says "The voice in your head that says that you can't do this is a liar." I have it on my motivational board. :)

You are doing emoticon Thanks for sharing, and for your honesty.

Hope you have a great day!!!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/21/2014 11:50AM

    I think often we are our worst enemies - don't listen to that mean voice - you are doing great :)

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Day 43. What the what?

Monday, October 20, 2014

I'm still IN IT! WOW. Week two is starting to be a struggle, but I think that is because I haven't had a good night's sleep in three days. I need more hours of sleep!

We have had some odd weather patterns, and I think it is affecting my. My knee gets sore when it gets cold, and It was achy and I felt awful. I don't think it helped me to sleep soundly.

Things are going great in so many ways, though I did struggle this weekend with eating. I didn't really over/under eat, or eat sugar, it just FELT like a struggle. Yesterday, it was like I couldn't get full. ANd I don't mean the kind of over full I mean satisfied. I felt hungry A LOT. I made pretty healthy choices all day (though my panini for dinner wasn't exactly health food) and really just for some reason, wanted to binge. I will say this. I've been eating right and exercising non stop for almost 4 months now, and this is the first time I KIND OF gave into a binge and felt this way. Granted, I think at most I ate yesterday about 1600 calories (didn't track it all yet) but for some reason, it was just wanting to keep eating. I don't know why. I do know that today it doesn't seem to be back, so who knows what caused it. One thing I do know is that I was able to satisfy it a little HEALTHILY. That was new. Though I never felt satisfied, I never caved to the true junk food demon that might have wanted out. I ate some nuts, some fruits, etc.

Next up, INSANITY! First, without sleeping well, I did NOT want to get up this morning and do this workout. However, I LOVED it. There are still some moves that are really hard for me and my legs STILL burn like I ran a lot or have been doing squats all day, but I always feel like I accomplished something when I'm done. Which is pretty awesome. I'm looking forward to keeping up, because during the second and third week of Phase 1, I really noticed how much stronger I was getting. I look forward to improving here as well. Also, I really can't wait to weigh myself and see how much I lost. I'm waiting until I finish, because that was my goal!!!

Hope everyone out there is doing well and pushing themselves and getting it done!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CZESTES 10/21/2014 12:48PM

    emoticon emoticon
Excellent Job!
I have always failed this time of year and I think it is due to our bodies wanting to "bulk up" in preparation for the cold weather. I am going to take your lead and try to stop fighting it and just make sure there are only healthy foods available. Thanks for the ideas!

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RITEEBEE 10/21/2014 9:03AM

    emoticon emoticon

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POCKETFULOFSUN 10/20/2014 5:51PM

    I bet the urge to binge came from your lack of sleep.

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BLONDEDOG 10/20/2014 12:30PM

    The suspense is killing me! lol! I am so impressed that you made it through without binging. That is freakin HUGE! You are definitely an inspiration to me. Reading what you are writing reminds me of how I used to feel. Keep up the good work!

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BRAINBENTT 10/20/2014 11:35AM


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MOMMAPAM1 10/20/2014 11:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Oh my word... busy busy!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Well, I was so busy yesterday I couldn't even find the time to write a blog.

I did the final day of week 1 of Phase two of Insanity. That was a rough week. I can't believe how hard and challenging the program gets. It is totally worth it, but it is a HUGE challenge. Three more weeks to go and I will have completed it! Wow. I'm so excited about that!

After I finished my workout, I ran over to the Michiana Down Syndrome Advocacy group and we raised funds for the area. That was fun. I was then, exhausted, and still had to get grocery shopping in. I did that and then just wanted to nap. I don't know why I hit a wall, but I did and it was ROUGH. College football was a huge disappointment for me Saturday evening, but I was proud of all I accomplished!

Today is a rest day, and I am taking advantage of that to the fullest. I have to run back to the grocery to grab a few things I had forgotten, but we already hit up the pumpkin patch, got some beautiful fall pictures, and TRIED to make the three year old take a nap. She just would not sleep! (heck, I wanted a nap!)

Tomorrow starts a new week and all new challenges. I hope I got enough rest this weekend to start strong!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CZESTES 10/20/2014 4:04PM

This time of year does that to me, like running on a treadmill. Constantly moving, but feel I'm not getting any where. :( Hope it calms a bit for you!

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BLONDEDOG 10/20/2014 12:26PM

    Sounds like you were busy AND you had fun! Glad to hear it!

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CHSHULER89 10/19/2014 8:39PM

    It is amazing all of what we do! Totally worth it! Great job!

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POCKETFULOFSUN 10/19/2014 6:35PM

    Sounds like a great time, glad you are getting, a well deserved, day of rest.

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/19/2014 2:56PM

    That is busy, busy!! Enjoy your rest time

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AUNTRENEE 10/19/2014 2:33PM

    Have a great week.

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HEALTHYGRAMMY49 10/19/2014 2:04PM

    A rest day is good for strengthening you for the week to come. Have a great week!

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40 Days in. HOW?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Today was 40 days into the insanity program. 40! I'm not surprised that I've made it this far, I like the program. I am surprised that I haven't become a puddle of goo!

Today's workout was SO hard. It was Max intervals (everything in Phase two is Max. MAX to the MAX.) It is also SO hard. Before the intervals, Shaun T always asks, "Are you ready?" I always say no. Because I'm not. Because I'm dying.

Here is what is kind of amazing. I'm exhausted (okay not the amazing part). I didn't want to do this workout today. I slept terrible the last two nights and I was pretty much not in the mood to do anything this morning. However, I was up. So I was going to be productive. I (so incredibly reluctantly) went downstairs. To my torture chamber (this is my workout room). I turned on my Max intervals and realized, OH NO, this workout is 59 minutes and change. I can't hit pause if I'm out of breath, or stop this workout today. I don't have time (that is what I get for being so tired and reluctant to go downstairs). So guess what happened? Other than a few breaks that everyone takes (the planned water/don't die yet breaks) I MADE IT THROUGH THE WORKOUT. Yes, one or two times instead of doing squat jumps, I did just the squat part because I could not physically make my legs jump. Not even a tiny bit. But I still didn't stop!!! Other people (on the video) were stopping because THEY couldn't do it, but I just kept going and modified what I couldn't do. I'm even more exhausted.

I keep thinking how amazing it is. I'm at the end of week one in phase two. I only have three more weeks left. I haven't been weighing myself at all because I want to be surprised by the results. I measured a few weeks ago and noticed big changes there, so I quit measuring so that I was surprised there too.

Three weeks left. That is IT! I can't believe it is so close, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how strong I am in three weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll be submitting my before and after's to beachbody for my free insanity tee shirt. Because, I FREAKING DID IT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKSAM678 10/17/2014 8:32PM

    WAY TO GO!!!! emoticon That is fantastic! You make me want to try insanity!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/17/2014 8:21PM

    Yes you did - kudos to you! You are amazing

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CZESTES 10/17/2014 6:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You are doing great!!!

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BLONDEDOG 10/17/2014 2:01PM

    I am so happy for you! You are absolutely amazing. It's so worth it to feel so strong and capable!!!


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KNEEMAKER 10/17/2014 1:26PM

  Keep on keeping on! emoticon

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TUFFMOM48 10/17/2014 1:03PM

    i started insanity - i am only on week 3
hope i can stick to it like you have emoticon

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