JENNY888   69,774
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JENNY888's Recent Blog Entries

Overwhelmed, Under Confident, and in need of a friend to "kick but" with

Monday, April 16, 2012

In response to a video blog from JOHNTJ1 I am admitting my fear in an attempt to move past it. The current place I am in is not a good one and I find myself sometimes wondering if things will really change for me. Will I be stuck at this weight and health state the rest of my life (most likely a much shorter one if I do)?

That is so different from the confidence that I felt earlier and through most of my life. I have to examine why I feel this way. I have narrowed it down to a few things, being overwhelmed, under confident, and seemingly unable to make the changes I know I need to make.

When I started Spark I experienced success and looked forward to even more. Then things started happening that I let take precedence over what I knew needed to be done. I didn't adapt successfully to events such as a husband let go from his job, a much busier professional life, and the old habits which were creeping back in. Every morning I wake up with plans of change running through my mind, but at the end of the day the plans seldom are carried out. There is success for a day or so and then the old me creeps back in.

Life has actually been very kind to me in the meanwhile and life is good in all but the Spark goal area. I am just not making the time for what I know needs to be done.

Grading papers has taken over my free time. I always fear that if I don't get that done first it won't all get done-a fear that is likely based in reality as it does take most of my free time. I do find time to watch the "tube" with my husband though so know I could have some time to do what I need to do if I make it.

Resolution 1 - Set aside time for myself first and adapt in the other areas. This will be a tough one for me but something I know needs to be done.

I am overwhelmed at all I see needs to be done. There are the waiting papers I mentioned earlier, but also the cleaning of clutter and house which is around me. There is so much to be done and so little time to do it in.

Resolution 2 - Combine some exercise with cleaning tasks in the home and also take 5 minutes a day to clean up some type of clutter - a very small time but the effects will add up. Get by the best I can until summer when I will not be working and not let this get to me now.

The under confidence comes from watching all the progress I made previously evaporate. I am in danger if I don't change of not only being back where I was but going into previously uncharted territory. I need to take control of my life now.

Resolution 3 - Start with small steps and be accountable by recording what I am doing. Build up the old "self-confidence" one successful step at a time. I need to feel that I know I can do it again.

Finally, I would love to have one, or a few good friends, to "kick butt" with. When I started Spark I had a few of these friends and it gave me a reason to log into Spark more than just spinning the wheel to get points. I would look forward to checking in and seeing where they were and sharing accomplishments and failures. I miss that. The friends have slowly faded away from Spark.

I enjoy following my "friend feed" daily but would like a deeper friendship. I have plenty of "friends" (acquaintances) but not the type I talking about here. I would like to find that special friend or friends that I can share with. If you are feeling you would like this kind of friendship please contact me. I would love to find a good friend to go through this journey with.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DISPATCHER04 4/17/2012 5:20AM

    You go, girl! Baby steps add up. You can do this. :)

You are welcome to message me also. I generally check Spark every day (unless I'm out of town).

Cheers! :)

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KERLESS 4/16/2012 3:33PM

    Hello, I am Keri and I want to kick butt too! You are welcome to message me anytime and I will be sure to respond. I'm two years in to this and am struggling with motivation as well, so I'm right there with ya'! I would also appreciate any type of support you could offer me! :)

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 4/16/2012 3:27PM

As you know, I am very opinionated. What I see initially as I read your comments
is actually success! You are getting beneath all of the garbage, and to the issues which really need to be addressed. emoticonThere may be some reasons why you are dragging your feet. Change, even positive change, is extremely difficult.
You have been had success in many areas-celebrate those. However, perhaps it is time to get in there and really begin the work. I know that Sparking can be extremely uplifting, however, it has opened my eyes to some things I really would rather not see.
Just remember, we are always here for you, you do so much for so many, and we are here for you. It may be time to talk to a professional, if things get too rough.
I haven't been to my counselor for some time and think it is time to go back.
I have sat on both sides of the chair, and I don't make light of it. It isn't easy.
But if something is blocking you the only thing to do is to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you don't want to and go through it. I will always be here to hold your hand, as will all of your friends.
I admit I haven't been in a position to keep up with my life lately. My health hasn't been the best, and I am trying, to find a way to Communicate with each friend at least monthly or as much as needed. If you need someone, I am always
available. I also understand that need for connection.
Take care my friend, and don't hesitate to visit my friend, or add me, for easier access. I can feel your pain and frustration.
Take care of yourself, and keep in touch. emoticon

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Fix you if you want to - It is possible - Just do it! - Don't miss this!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Today while doing my motivational reading on Spark today I ran across this video that I want to share with all my friends and others on Spark. I almost didn't watch it at first but was really glad I did.

It is easy to feel down with lack of progress and just give up. What you are trying to accomplish seems so overwhelming and out of sight. Then something like this comes along to remind you that as Ben says, if you want it you just have to do it. I dare all to see this incredible video and not be inspired. It has renewed my enthusiasm.

Now I'm off to fix me with a smile on my face, really glad that I took a few minutes to do a little motivational spark before I went to do Cardio. A link to the video is below. Try it and see if you don't get that same motivational boost.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSRUTH 2/17/2012 5:37PM

    omg, I loved it!! I've just started running (after I hit my goal weight by walking for cardio). Sometimes I feel like I could WALK faster than I can run-- but there really is no other way to do, than JUST DO IT. It's the way I lost the weight-- I decided to just do it.

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DJSHIP46 2/17/2012 3:35PM

    I loved his story. It is inspiring. I would love to run, but I'm afraid. I'm 65 and in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in. Just very afraid of wrecking my feet and knees because I think I'm too heavy to run... but I am losing weight so maybe some day:) emoticonThank you for posting it.

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MOMPPCL 2/17/2012 3:07PM

    Thanks for sharing, it's amazing!

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Having a Vision that You Really Experience - Very Important!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

While using my treadmill the other day I was listening to an audio book by Jillian Michaels that I downloaded from my library. In it she was discussing the importance of creating a vision of what you really desired and then more importantly picturing it with your whole heart and soul. Instead of a vision of being healthy it is important to picture how that vision will actually feel using all of your senses. Picture how it will make others around you feel. I think what she was actually saying was to "live in that vision" and don't just have it.

This made so much sense to me. So far I have created a vision but stopped there. To have the whole effect of that vision I have to go a step further than I have in order to make that vision alive to me.

I will blog more about her book in future blogs. I am liking it very much.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJSHIP46 1/26/2012 9:23AM

    I also need to FEEL my vision... Thank you for the timely reminder!!!

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NEW_PARADIGM 1/13/2012 9:17AM

    Making that important distinction makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing!

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DISPATCHER04 1/13/2012 7:42AM

    Okay, so I'll be living in my vision. :)

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SUNNYARIZONA 1/12/2012 9:20PM

    That is interesting....considering alot of us can NOT do that.....I know even when I WAS thin, I never saw thin.....120 in HS, I felt FAT, why? Because I couldn't wear the little bitty outfits other teens could wear....back then a 10 really WAS a 10!!! and it was really small. Still compared to today, I was THIN!

I am dealing better in my "old age"! Picuturing a totally different me!!!

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Age Pays Sometimes

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I had a very pleasant surprise the other day. I found out that my Medicare Supplement Insurance has a Silver Sneakers program and it includes a free membership to my favorite gym. I will still probably do a lot of my exercise in my home gym as it avoids the driving time, but it will be nice to go to a class or two a week and work on on some of the other machines and swim in the pool.

So far 2012 has turned out to be very good for me. I hope to spend much more time sparking now that the last semester is over with. I look forward to this as I have missed it. I am setting new goals and starting over at square one. It feels good to be back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYARIZONA 1/10/2012 7:04PM

    I would like to know how to get that. I am 67 and pay for my gym every month.

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4DOGNIGHT 1/10/2012 5:10PM

    If only we knew all the benefits we had, we would be rich!

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 1/10/2012 11:01AM

    I like silver sneakers. I hope you enjoy it also. I wish my gym had a pool, but I'm in a small town and it's a gym my optomitrist owns. I'm fortunate it is only 3 miles from home. Have a great one.

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Absolutely Incredible 3-D, 360 View Photos of our Bodies

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I was blown away just now with the site I found on the Internet. If you want to see anything about our anatomy go to

and check out the ability to observe any part of our bodies. The muscles we stretch, the nerves we feel, everything.

The detail is amazing. While you are there take the video preview of the site. There is so much more than the illustrations. Don't miss this site.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JC____ 1/21/2012 5:32PM

    Nice site! Thanks for posting it!

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FERRETLOVER1 8/28/2011 8:05AM

    Thanks for the cool site - I'll be sharing it with my friends!

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SUNNYARIZONA 8/27/2011 10:24PM

    Well being a nurse, that one is pretty GREAT!!!

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JOLINEMR 8/27/2011 8:16PM

    Thanks for the resource. That's cool.

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    Thank you!

Biscoti is just too too precious!!

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HEALTHIERKEN 8/27/2011 11:57AM

    This is wonderful. I'm adding it to my Bookmark Bar : )

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