Friday, October 19, 2012
Gonna end the 4-day, no-workout "streak" tonight. I have a personal training session lined up, and I am committed to doing an additional hour of cardio throughout the day. Stayed late at work yesterday, came in early today, have worked over the lunch hour thus far, and have my laptop packed with work I can do from home this weekend on my *one* day off between the 2 jobs so I can leave a smidge early today. That way I can go straight to the gym and get everything in before they close (the gym with the pool, close to house).
Speaking of closing...I joined Planet Fitness (no pool, NOT close to my house) just because they don't ever close, so I could never use 'getting to the gym too late' as an excuse. Somehow, though, I have managed to alter the excuse. Because now the excuse has become, 'Oh, I don't want to drive all the way over *there*...'
Enough of that malarky.
Last night I decided to schedule workouts into my appt calendar again like I used to. Back when I cared about myself. Back when feeling good actually felt *great*. The workouts ARE a priority in my life, and I shouldn't treat them like they are an afterthought or burden. Or worse, a time-suck that takes away from things I "like" to do. (Apparently I "like' to eat massive amounts of calories in front of the TV watching idiocy in action as my brain turns to goo.)
WORKOUTS MAKE ME FEEL GOOD. Why, then, do I dread them? That makes NO sense. There is something psychological at play here, folks, cuz I should WANT to do something that makes me feel so good. Is it that it is good FOR me, and God knows I have (subconsciously) rejected decisions that are good for me all my life? Is it that I might experience a rush of success that maybe (again, subconsciously) I don't think I deserve? Is it maybe that I (oops, there's that subconscious inrterfering again) fear that I might get to a trim, healthy size and will still have problems because I know full well that size doesn't fix the other junk in your life that needs repair and how disappointing that will be?
W h a t
t h e
r e a l
i s s u e ?
I know it will make me feel good. Check.
I know it will improve my health. Check.
I know it will help me to wear any damn thing I want. Check.
I know I can appear girly again after being a flippin' linebacker for so long. Double Check.
Ok. So the training gym bag is in the car. The swimsuit is in the car. Dop kit, towel, shower shoes, clean panties. Check. Check. Check. Check.
Time to go.