JENNY160   16,641
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Saturday, October 06, 2012

On my way to work this morning, I notice that the screen of my phone appears to be different. All of my icons are in different places, and some are missing. Uh oh. That can't be good.

[instant queasiness]

I pull into Starbuck's lot and turn the phone off. Then back on again. No change. Take the battery out. Wait 30 seconds. Put it back in. The insolent little icons refuse to go back to their places. So I sit there in my car, in the Starbuck's parking lot, staring at the cold little rectangle in my hand, pondering what more I can do.

I decide to call the mothership , Verizon, for assistance and have them walk me through wirelessly "updating" my phone.

Hmm, where's that "contacts" icon...?


I suddenly have awareness that all my contacts are gone! AND SO ARE MY PICTURES! Danggit, why didn't I download those pictures when I was thinking about it earlier?!

[Now I just want to cry. My before-and-after landscaping pics are in the ether somewhere]

So I go to the web browser and Google "Verizon" to get the phone number since my contacts are gone, and that's when I realize that my smartphone has dropped major IQ points and has no internet access or phone reception. It is basically a colorful-but-useless-little-glass-and-plas
tic blob.

Its only function now is to turn on or off. Which would be amazing to me if I were two, but I'm not. I'm now emotionally crippled. I am cut off from my friends and family. I can't talk to someone while driving to work, or schedule my day into my online calendar/planner. Or text my DH that I love him and can't wait til he gets off of work so we can hang out together.

Two years ago, I had a cell phone designated for emergency-use-only. There was no texting. No web browsing. I memorized everyone's phone numbers. I browsed the web and e-mailed from my computer at home or work. I drove places while listening to my radio, not Pandora. And if I saw something picture-worthy, I brought out my camera and took a quality photo on film. I called people. From a land line. I went for hours (frequently days) without feeling the need to call (let alone text) anyone. There was a freedom in that. It was my norm. It was comfortable. Now, after the luxury of having my smartphone, it would be a nightmare.

I checked my phone a few minutes ago and it is back. The contacts are there. The pictures magically appeared from the ether. It has reception. And my crazily-connected life again has order.

We get used to what we have and depend upon it for comfort. Just like being overweight. There is a comfort in the excuses, the food, the lifestyle. But just like adding a smartphone to my cell-less life, what I perceive as "comfortable" can change.

The changes needed for weight loss can throw us into a panic, or make us feel anxiety or fear or embarrassment. But these are all temporary. When the exercise and smaller body and better-fitting clothes become our norm, then it feels "off" to stray from that norm. Weight loss isn't the challenge. Changing our norm is the challenge.

Gonna hit the gym now. With my smartphone and Pandora.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AAAACK 10/9/2012 2:32PM

    I like this correlation!

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JURASSICSUE 10/7/2012 3:24AM

    I feel exactly the same way about my phone. Used to have it buried in my bag for emergencies. Now it holds the key to my entire lifestyle! However that includes the SP app, walking routes, healthy recipe ideas, etc etc etc so I guess there's some good in there too! Thanks for posting.

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BLUE42DOWN 10/7/2012 12:14AM

    Very interesting lesson to have learned from that. It's definitely true that we get comfortable with things, and find it challenging to let go of them.

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MIATIA1 10/6/2012 5:49PM

    Great Blog and so true.

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If ya can't pronounce it, best not to eat it

Thursday, October 04, 2012

From this past week of bad food choices and the ensuing gastrointestinal, mood, and bloat issues I am experiencing, I am reminded that "garbage in = garbage out".

I feel icky.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UMBILICAL 10/4/2012 10:34PM

  I am very good at pronouncing things. LOL

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DOLLFACEDX 10/4/2012 10:30PM

    Too true - and we all need to be reminded occassionally. emoticon

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Push, don't pull

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Two things I have never been able to do, even at my high school weight of 150 lbs: full pushups (hands and toes, not hands and knees), and pull ups.

I had an hour personal training session today, and my trainer gave me my first superset to do in the hour. One of the exercises of that superset was pushups on the BOSU. I have always done pushups (both regular and BOSU) on my hands and knees.

It came time for the BOSU pushups, and as I got into the hands-and-knees position, something in my head was impatiently pacing around in there, telling me to, "Get on your toes...just *try* it..." It was like trying to hold back a cough. It was kind of choking me--I just HAD to do it, even at 227 lbs. So I extended my legs and just started doing them. I was truly not believing what I was doing. Is this *me*? I was in such disbelief, that I didn't realize I had done 10 (my trainer told me) before I had to drop back to my knees again. Granted, I was definitely not dropping as low in full push up position as I do when on my knees, but there was a 90 degree bend to the elbows, so I was kicking some pushup a** as far as I was concerned! I did 4 sets of 10 full and 5 half.

Doing something I never thought I'd be able to do, and at this weight, gave me such a rush of adrenaline, that the rest of the hour flew by.

This is where I would normally post a sweatring pic, but I have started using a BondiBand around my hairline, so the sweat doesn't make it to my shirt now. I was able to wring out the band in the parking lot, though. TMI

So one thing that I believed to be impossible has been conquered. Pull ups, here I come...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AAAACK 9/29/2012 3:02AM

    That's really cool! Thanks for sharing such a great success. Pushups are hard!

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ME_B4_INSANITY 9/28/2012 3:31PM

    I love that my gym has a pull up assist machine. It counter balances some of the weight so you don't have to a pull up of your whole weight.
Keep pushing!!! Literally.
You'll have amazing arms soon.

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FEB_SHOWERS16 9/27/2012 11:07AM

    That is awesome!!! Great job!! The strange thing about push ups is that once you start them, even if you can only do one or two per day, then you build up really fast. Within a matter of weeks you'll be doing 12 or 15 at a time. And it's the greatest full upper body workout EVER! Very efficient indeed!!

Now, regarding pull ups- I haven't even attempted that in a lot time. I can't even do HALF of a pull up. Let me know how you do on that!!!

Keep up the good work!!!
emoticon emoticon

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KPETSCHE 9/27/2012 9:34AM


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SWAN47 9/27/2012 12:41AM

    WOW... emoticon That is soooooo emoticon !!! Just think of all the other things you thought you couldn't do...can't wait to see you try them. emoticon

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Training, maintaining, and fear of gaining

Monday, September 17, 2012

I am really having difficulty wrapping my head around a situation that I will face in November. I am having a torn meniscus "cleaned up" in my knee through arthroscopic surgery in November, and my physician said I would need to not exercise on it for a month. I have such fear welling in me because of that. A month "off' may quash any habit of exercise that I have taken years to establish. I am freaking out over this.

In early 2010, I started exercising regularly, and I added a personal trainer in February. By July or August I had lost 52 lbs and was in onederland. I was hitting the gym hard. It was all or nothing, it seemed, and I was in "all" mode. My exercise personality type (all or nothing) is why I continued to pay a trainer after I had lost all motivation to exercise in the fall of 2010. I knew that if I continued to pay him, I would continue to show up for my appts, even if I wasn't "in the mood" to exercise. This would guarantee that I would be working out at least twice a week. My plan worked. That went on for about 1+1/2 years (with a weight re-gain of 30 lbs) until I got my mojo back and upped the number of workout days to 3, then 4 per week. I recently got back into the habit of working out 5 days per week. It has been hard for me, but I'm there again.

If I am off for a MONTH, I am terrified that I will lose this momemtum and drive, and I might not get it back! I have stocked my DVD library with yoga and "chair" exercise routines, but in the past, I have had unopened DVDs for years without looking at them. I know there are Sparkvideos I can do, also, but will I?

During that month I will be home more, around my triggers, with more opportunity to eat during a time when I should be eating less due to the inactivity.

I am trying to breathe through the anxiety when it crops up, and have been able to do so pretty effectively so far. My blood pressure was 102/70 at the doctor last Friday, and that was right after some anxiety had manifested. But the fear is still there, and I want to be prepared for whatever road my motivation takes.

On a separate note, the mega-fans at the new gym can't touch me. I continue to produce a respectable sweatring despite their efforts. Nyeah.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEB_SHOWERS16 9/27/2012 11:09AM

    I'm sorry you're going to have this set-back, but that's all it is... a slight bump in the road. Life is inevitably going to happen and sometimes our journey isn't linear. You can definitely build up whatever momentum you lose during this time. But I have no doubt you won't lose much momentum because there is so much you can do to work around the limits you'll have with your knee. Whatever you do, don't give up!!! And you'll come out stronger for it!! emoticon

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AAAACK 9/18/2012 3:08AM

    Can you ask your trainer for help? Good trainers really can help you stay active through a recovery. I am so much like you with the all or nothing mentality, so I feel I should share something that's been happening with me since being put on light workouts/low impact for sciatica. I'd made a commitment right before going to the doc to do 90 days of 30 minutes per day of anything that raises my heart rate. Then wham, the doc says do NOTHING but very gentle walking until I can see the Physical Therapist 12 days from then. I was pretty freaked out. But this part of me that was panicking said, "well, you'd best get off your butt and DO the 30m of gentle walking every single day because if you don't, you're really going to be in trouble."

So I did. Including the days prior to the diagnosis, I've now had 23 days of gentle workouts. I time them during my usual binge danger time. And it's helping a LOT. I make up missed days by adding 15-30 minutes to another day, and I have lost 6lbs and feel good. I wouldn't have believed that this gentle exercise would work as well as my usual ass-kickings that I enjoy.

My walks are IN my house. Often in regular clothes. I've been upping the intensity as my sciatic pain is subsiding, but still low impact. But a half hour of continuous movement when I least want to do it, and most want to snuggle up with a bag of chocolate has lost me 6lbs.

You can find something you can do, too, I'm sure. And yes, you can find a middle ground (as I'm learning). It doesn't have to be all-out all-or-nothing. You'll be fine in that month as long as you plan for it.

If you can't even walk, you can do shadow boxing. It burns a lot of calories, makes you SWEAT, and feels great. And you can even do some from a stool (not a chair with a back on it b/c your elbows will hit.

Ok, enough blog hogging - good luck!

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KALANTHA 9/17/2012 6:52PM

    I wish I had the absolute answer for your dilemma. Maybe you could start watching some of those videos in and working them into your existing exercise routine now, as a bonus, AND as a way of making them a habit before you have your surgery.

Whatever you decide, keep coming here so we can give you pep talks when you need them!


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Jenny vs MegaFan

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Helicopter-blade-sized MegaFan-- you don't know who you're dealing with.

I came.

I conquered.

I won.

Bite me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALANTHA 9/15/2012 8:43AM


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AAAACK 9/15/2012 1:17AM


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