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The Good News, Bad News and a New Goal

Monday, May 09, 2011

#1 Bad news: I wasn't able to go any faster than 3.5 miles per hour without pain

#1 Good news: I was able to do 40 minutes on the treadmill (I could have done my usual 60+5 but see bad news #2.

#2 Bad news: I hit snooze for 45 minutes

#2 Good news: I didn't let it stop me from going to the gym!

#3 Good and bad news: The gym pants I wore today are getting too big! I did not like finding this out while on the treadmill when they almost fell down around my ankles.

I had this near miss/moment of panic where I thought the pants were going to fall, trip/bind me, and my overactive imagination was sure this scenario was going to end with me being propelled off the back of the treadmill with my pants around my ankles.

Had I not nearly been de-panted and flung to the floor in humiliation, this too big pants scenario would be a 100% good thing. Now that I'm not on the treadmill, I'm rather jazzed about this development.

All in all, I'm pretty darn happy with my progress!

I'm going on a cruise June 5th, I would like to lose another 20 pounds. That seems like a lot to lose in less than a month. So instead of setting a goal to lose 20 pounds, which requires me to get on Captain PoopyPants regularly to check my progress, I think I need to set some serious food/water/exercise goals, and let the scale do whatever it sees fit.

From this moment until the crack of dawn June 5th:

Exercise 6 days a week minimum, with improvements in treadmill times.
Eat to live 6 week challenge plan, no more "lifestyle 90% plan" with 90% excellent and 10% whatever.
At least 64 ounces of cold water per day. Cold because some sources say that cold water helps with weight loss, and because that's how I prefer my H2O.

If I do these things, I can go on my cruise knowing I did everything possible to be my best self for vacation. I will also fit into some cute capris that I'm almost in but not quite and that means more spending $ :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROMANS_8 5/25/2011 4:11PM

    This sounds a lot like me. I am going to the beach June 10. I want to lose 15 by then. Haha..that's NEVER gonna happen in less than 3 weeks, but I am trying to do everything in my power to make it happen. Even if that means only eating 1100 cals. a day and ellipticaling (I know that's not a word) 7 days a week. I want those 15 lbs off dammit! The truth is, instead of procrastinating and pretending like I am one of those girls that can eat anything and not gain an ounce, I should have had my butt moving 2 months ago. I would not be in this situation if I had. Wow..sorry I got carried away. My point was, I can definitely relate to what you are saying.

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GOLOPTIOUS 5/9/2011 5:38PM

    I'm not gonna lie, #3 make me literally laugh out loud.

Those sound like great goals that will definitely help you!


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    You're on going to be fabulous on your cruise!

Way to go on losing your britches!!


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SIMPLY-MJ 5/9/2011 5:26PM

    Hooray for pants that are too big!!! One of those non-scale victories!!!!
Have fun on the cruise in june!!! It will be a great motivator to help you stay on track for the next month!!!!
And also 60 minutes on the treadmill, thats insane, you go girl!!!!

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YBRIGGS625 5/9/2011 4:40PM

    emoticon Yay for loose pants, just be careful to not trip over them. Keep that positive attitude and you will have an excellent time on that cruise.

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    Wohoo! Good job! emoticon

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KIBAISREADY 5/9/2011 4:18PM

    You are doing an awesome Job! What you call bad news, is only temporary... Keep with it and you will turn that bad news into good news... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SILENTE8 5/9/2011 4:06PM

  I'm so happy for you and your too-big pants. Take care of yourself, though, and get a belt or something.

I don't want you to hurt yourself.

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JUICINGJOJO 5/9/2011 3:33PM

    emoticon Yay for slippy pants! emoticon

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BERGBA7 5/9/2011 2:59PM

Absolutely fabulous what happened to you!!! I hope my pants are going to fall off soon too!

I am sure you will be too skinny for your swim suite by the time the cruise starts with your strong will and good plans!

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    Congrats and well done!!!! emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/9/2011 2:58PM

    Yay spending $$

And if you don't spend it all you can come back and get something fun at your local Salivation Army or Good Will Hunting. I found the sun dress I'll be wearing at my friend's wedding in 2 weeks at a thrift shop. $4. And it's cute.

(And I'm going to have to post pictures 'cuz "cute" hasn't been in my wardrobe vocabulary for much of my 45 years on this planet, LOL)

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I Ate Bad Things and I Didn't Exercise Either. WOOT!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

I had a slumber party last night. A grown up, pajama wearing, movie watching slumber party. 8 grownups and 6 dogs chilling out, having fun and eating junk food.

Yes, the dogs ate junk food, but only when my back was turned. It's my own fault, the vat of chex mix was at eye level on the coffee table, and if I can't resist how can I expect Remy to say no to the buttery crunchtastic goodness?

*I made a vat of chex mix, and while I resisted at first, I had some. Probably 2 handfuls.
*Some popcorn that was NOT clean, nor was it particularly low fat. Actually, it was Jiffy Pop, that fun stuff you swish around on the stove, and it was not even in the low fat ballpark, but I digress.
*6 Double Stuff Oreos. So far away from clean that it can't even see clean.
*Handfuls of Lay's potato chips. I estimate 4 or 5 ounces of those bad boys.
*A small amount (a few tablespoons) of sour cream based chip dips, mostly because it is hard to get it right without tasting it (pathetic excuse!), and it tasted good, so I had a bit more when I realized that oh, yes, this does taste quite tasty.

End result is that I doubled my usual caloric intake. I am ok with that. I tracked it all, I was honest about it, I laughed about it and I enjoyed it.

I got on the scale this morning and was ready to flinch, but the scale was the same today as yesterday, which shocked me because I thought the salt alone would have caused a 5 pound bump, but not so much. :) I stood there, ready to take my punishment like a man, and it didn't come. Maybe tomorrow.

So, I had fun watching movies with my friends and Hubbylicious. I had some food that was not exactly healthful, and it tasted good, but I am not going to feel guilty. Guilt about food leads to bad things. Very bad things. Like a size 24 ginormo hind end, weighing 311 pounds and self loathing. I've been hardcore about my intake for weeks, I chose to step away for one evening, and I'm back today.

This morning we made breakfast for our slumber party peeps. Cheesy scrambled eggs, organic blueberry pancakes made with almond and oat milks, bacon, sausage, hash browns and Cinnabon cinnamon rolls.

I had half a cup of fresh mango, a large navel orange, some hash browns and three 3 inch organic vegan blueberry pancakes. In the past, one shit meal would have been the beginning of the death spiral of my health plans. Well, I was bad last night and today, miracle of all miracles, today I was right back on track. I also did not exercise yesterday or today, due to Mr. Evil Great-Toe, and that's OK too. My legs have not fallen off, my arms still work, my gut is still large, my ass is still wide... all is right with the world.

I'm not trying to convince myself. It really is OK to eat a bad meal and take two whole days off in a row from exercise. I mean hell, I spent the last decade eating bad meals and never exercising, so how bad could this two day stretch be? I haven't hopped in the car, driven to the nearest grocery store and started eating the discount Easter candy straight from the package while standing in the aisle and cramming Peeps in my pockets. I haven't sucked the innards out of a dozen Cadbury eggs while hiding in a closet, nor have I devoured a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos and licked the inside of the bag. I'm OK! I'm not imploding. I'm not cramming chocolate in my gaping maw until I explode. I AM OK.

I did something off my plan. Two somethings, if we are counting, three if each day of not exercising counts as a separate count on the indictment. I will not feel guilty, I will not binge because I think the diet death spiral has started, nope, won't do it. Call Ripley's because I did those "bad" things and today I'm right back on plan. Doing the right things, moving in the right direction, taking care of myself, that's what I'm doing.

In other news, I bought myself my 20 pound weight loss goodies... a gym sized container of my L'Occitane Verbena perfume and a refill package of Verbena shower gel.

I then arrive home, only to realize that I clearly am not a math genius and I'm actually NOT down 20 pounds, I am down 19.6 pounds. I better not use my reward presents until get that .4 pounds off, I can't stand the thought of jinxing myself. I may have to hide them until the official 20 pound celebration can officially commence.

The ill gotten gains:

Don't you even dare say those ounces don't matter, ask anyone who has worked their hiney off for a week eating right and exercising only to lose 4 ounces for the week. That 4/10ths (fine, 2/5ths, math geeks) of one pound certainly does matter!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEGGYMAS1 5/10/2011 7:45AM

    glad you had a good slumber party, now your back on the horse and will lose the weight you want to lose

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DCAPDEVI 5/10/2011 4:17AM

    I think someone else has already said it, but you are allowed to live! You have been so so good, you deserved your chips for a night!

I had to laugh at the end when you said .4 pounds and it does matter! For years people laugh at me when they ask me how tall I am and I say 5'1-3/4" because at 5'1", that 3/4 of an inch matters! You will reach your goal!

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GRACIESUE 5/9/2011 2:12PM

    Awesome attitude...many of us do the same things and the key is definitely to not get caught in that guilt-eat spiral. My biggest losing week since I started this was a week where I allowed myself a day like that, dh & I got some movies and ate snack junk/dips.

Moderation is a good word. Total deprivation does not work for me- as I have proven over and over in the past :P

emoticonThat 2/5 of a pound will be off before you know it!!

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GOLOPTIOUS 5/9/2011 1:11AM

    I like your view on being guilty about eating. That's usually the problem with me. I eat badly and then I decide that I've screwed up and it can never be fixed, but the truth is that you've just gotta keep moving forward!

You can get that .4 pounds off!!


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MEOWYSMILING226 5/8/2011 10:30PM

    we all do it from time to time,but I find the guilt worse each time because I am having a harder time wearing off and catching up with what I do.Sometimes I just make myself feel sick?? emoticon

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OVERHAULING-ME 5/8/2011 9:52PM

    What a fun night! Great job not feeling guilt, you didn't blindly eat, you tracked it accounted for it and like you said, didn't allow it to spiral.

Good luck on losing that .4lbs. On Tuesday I was .6 away from my 20 and the scale decided to not allow that last bit to come off. Everyday I've weighed in only to see the scale go up regardless of my efforts.

Have a great week!

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CANNIE50 5/8/2011 9:52PM

    My body actually does better if I mix things up - high calories once in awhile, and then from low end to high end of my SP range most of the time and definitely an exercise rest day every so often. It's great that you didn't use your indulgent evening as an excuse to go off the rails at breakfast - that is healthy, disciplined behavior.
I enjoy your blogging style. PS I hope your toe heals quickly.

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RACH818XX 5/8/2011 9:08PM

    I'm so happy that you were able to have fun and still splurge enough to enjoy the foods you like while maintaining your weight! Sometimes too much food is a good thing. Keep at it and enjoy life! Even if it means not strictly eating... Just not all the time! ;)

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SILENTE8 5/8/2011 8:26PM

  I am sooo glad you had fun! Take care of yourself. :)

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/8/2011 7:14PM

    The oz matter.

Just like I really want to see if I can stay in the 300+ last one in challenge this week despite the post-op bump in fluid gain (7 lbs ).

And just like I wanna get back below 160 so I can start using those buffs I bought as monthly rewards A YEAR AGO.

Go get 'em!

P.S. Good job on the tracking and handling the guilt and being ready to man up on the consequences.

Comment edited on: 5/8/2011 7:17:12 PM

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NOVELIC 5/8/2011 6:56PM

    Sounds like a great evening. Glad you're keeping it all in perspective.

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BARBIETEC 5/8/2011 6:41PM

    L'Occitane is my favorite soap and body lotion products! I even think we have the same aroma! I love the hand soap from the.. so good!!!!! *mmmm*

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    I couldn't agree more with you on this blog! So glad you cut loose and had a good time. I don't schedule cheat days but do on the occasion have one. Just 3 weeks ago I had 5 big pieces of Little Ceasers Pizza.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day!

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I'm Learning, I Really Am. What Have You Learned?

Saturday, May 07, 2011

So far in this journey of 3-4 weeks I have had many opportunities to learn. I even bothered to learn on several occasions, fancy that. I don't mean to sound preachy, if I do, you can say shut up, ignore me, quit reading, etc. It's ok, I won't be offended. It's not like people want health advice from Jumbo Jane.

Anyway, here are a few things I have picked up:

1. A hardcore detox for a few weeks (in my case no caffeine, no meat, no eggs, no dairy, no added salt, sugar or oil, and no processed foods) makes the journey to good health a lot easier. I'll be honest, the first week sucked and I wanted to gnaw my arm off, I had no idea you could have withdrawal from processed foods and sugar. The second week was better, only my fingers-not the entire arm-were in danger. By the beginning of the third week I had more energy, no cravings induced by food and the weight was falling off. At this point, eating clean is just what I do, I don't have to give it much thought any more.

Here's the thing, I was eating foods that caused me to crave crap. I honestly thought that I needed to join Overeaters Anonymous, when really I needed to give up eating crap, which made me crave crap. High fructose corn syrup is the biggie of these foods that cause me to eat badly. Humans are designed to love sweet and salty fatty things. There is a reason that junk food contains lots of fat, sugar and salt. There is a reason you have trouble resisting things with that combo package of death.

I'm not saying I don't have food cravings, I do, especially when I have PMS or stress, but they are about 10% of the cravings I was having pre-detox. They are also far easier to ignore and cope with, because I can generally isolate the cause and the emotional motivation behind the cravings.

2. I still pile my plate up with food and I need to stop that. Luckily, I am able to stop when I am full, but I'm going to have to buy a smaller plate or something. I'm still dishing food up like a fatty. This is a problem I must get under control ASAP.

3. My best diet advice: Add 1-2 pounds of raw and cooked non-starchy veggies to your diet. Less than 200 calories will keep you from eating thousands of calories in bad food, will make you feel satisfied more quickly, and lots of other fun things.

4. "Your boob to tummy ratio has changed". My weight is coming off in a unequal fashion... according to my husband my gut and my boobs are both smaller, but my boobs have gotten smaller faster. Luckily, he said this with a smile, not some cheesy look of boob mourning.

5. I bought 12 new bras in January. I actually sat in the car and cried because I was so upset with myself for spending $240 bucks (mega sale) on bras, even though I didn't have a single one that didn't stab me in the pit with the underwire or belong in the trash. Today, I'm too small for 4 of them, and I will probably be too small for all of them within a month or so. I thought I would be upset by the wasted money, but I'm pretty thrilled.

I can't wait until nothing in my entire closet fits and I am forced to give it all away. I will end up with a pair of jeans, a pair of khaki's and one other pair of pants and a few mix and match shirts to get through to the next size and I'm totally ok with that. Empty closet = major victory.

6. Give up added salt and sugar and you won't need it or want it within 2 weeks. Yeah, right. Hah! Well, it is true for me! Whodathunkit? Same is true with grease. I can't believe it myself but french fries taste too salty and slimy with grease. It's like a Mother's Day Miracle... McDonalds french fries taste like salty cardboard dipped in grease.

7. I now realize that in the past, during unsuccessful attempts to lose weight, I was missing 2 important things:
a) SparkPeople--the support, the daily feedback, the accountability, the support, the friends, the support, the trackers, the friends. :)
b) The Detox. Can't say enough about the detox.

8. I don't have to view working out as a punishment. It can be fun. I like to dance around the house with the GaGa so loud the windows rattle looking absolutely absurd. I enjoy taking new and different classes, making playlists for my IPod, harassing friends to join me, etc. make working out much more fun. Next on the list: yoga, pilates, racquetball and kickboxing.

9. I can't drag people with me on the journey, I mean let's be serious here, fat people are HEAVY. emoticon You can't make people do the right things for their health no matter how much you love or care about them, but you can inspire those who are genuinely interested in making changes. Choose who you want to spend your time on wisely.

10. Have one really good tip that you believe in to share with people. For me, it is the 1-2 pounds of fruit and veggies thing. It's multipurpose, you can share info with those who care and for those who don't and are just asking for the sake of asking you have a 10 second blurb to share and move on to another unrelated topic.

11. I weigh 291. I'm willing to share that with you, and be proud of that, but I will not be sharing that information at work or anywhere else. I only tell my husband because I'm winning this week, I've got him beat by at least 5 pounds. Teehee. At work they will get a # of pounds lost. :) That 291 number is so huge that it makes me flinch, so you know it makes skinny people react in horror.

12. I laugh at myself on a daily basis, and not in an unkind way. You must laugh at yourself, you must laugh at the situation you are in and at the size of your butt because crying will not help. Cry, feel bad, feed on junk, cry cuz you are fat, feel bad, feed, repeat. Laugh about it, move forward, the end.

13. Don't weigh yourself during PMS. Not only will the scale be bonkers, but see the bit about crying above.

14. Your pets, kids and spouse/SO may be your biggest cheerleaders/helpers/workout partners if you invite them in. If they are not, don't discuss your efforts with them. In the end, this is about you. Besides, if you have great danes like me, it is way easier to walk faster when they drag you down the road.

15. Perfection is pretty much impossible and aiming for it may make you nuts. A perfect day may be possible. A perfect year, not so much. Perfect your ability to start over after a bad day, not your ability to criticize yourself from small imperfections.

16. My internal voice sounds like self-hate so I developed a mantra. When I start thinking, I'm fat I'm gross I'm disgusting I'm fat I'm gross I'm disgusting, I try to mindfully switch to the mantra. Mine is, "You are headed in the right direction, good job."

17. Screw the scale. Name yours something ridiculous like I did (Captain PoopyPants), get rid of it, hide it, whatever you need to do, but do not be intimidated by an inanimate object. You know whether you are doing the right thing before you get on the scale, you are just hoping for results you didn't earn or hoping that it doesn't reflect some sort of off plan behavior. Stop. If it hinders your efforts stop. Period.

18. I will never be thin fast enough. We all want to be thin tomorrow, but the simple fact is it may be hundreds or even a thousand tomorrows before that happens. I keep reminding myself that I will be forty in two years, I can be forty and thin or forty and fat, so I picked the one that sounded like a better way to spend the rest of my life.

19. A recent study came out that said obese people have less enjoyment of sex. My first reaction to this was "No shit, Sherlock, how many millions did that worthless excuse for a study cost the American taxpayer?" How could sex not be better if you don't have a full body jiggle going on? How could sex not be better if you weren't afraid of having a cardiac arrest while making the two-backed beast? Have you ever picked up a thong and said to yourself, "there should be a law against thongs in my size!" I have.

20. I believe that the processed food industry, like the nicotine industry, figured out how to make their product more addictive. I believe that these companies want to sell as much food as possible that is made as cheaply as possible, and if it will make you obese, so be it, as long as you keep buying.

21. I really like it here.

22. I accept no excuses from myself. Eat too much at breakfast? Eat less at lunch. Eat too many calories today? Exercise longer tomorrow. Legs broken? Sit in a chair and do aerobics. Eating well too expensive? Grow a frickin' garden with a buck in seeds and a five gallon bucket. You have two choices, find ways to fail or find ways to succeed.

23. I plan to succeed. Every Sunday night I spend at least an hour setting out five days worth of gym clothes, gym towels, work clothes, underwear and socks. Every night I pack my lunch. That way at O dark thirty, I have no excuses.

24. I don't have all the answers. I'm 156 pounds from my goal weight, so I clearly have problems of my own. I just have no intentions of failing.

25. My goals are important. I'm envious of those who have goals that are like "I'd like to run my next 5k in 22 minutes instead of 23." Ok, I'm not envious, I'm a green eyed jealous monster who wants to flip them the bird and say go to hell, but only because I know it will probably take two years before I am able to have a goal like that without it being laughable.

26. I need to learn how to make a green smoothie, even though they sound revolting.

27. There is no high fructose corn syrup in any of the products available at Whole Foods. If you want corn syrup, you have to go to the baking aisle and buy Karo, because they don't have it anywhere else.

What have you learned? I would love to hear your best tips and advice.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMBRE 5/9/2011 3:40PM

    I really enjoyed this entry- most if not all I can relate to since becoming a believer/follower of ETL. Keep up the good work!

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DCAPDEVI 5/8/2011 4:56PM

    #2 I have been guilty of the same problem in the past, and sometimes still. Add on to that that I lived at my depression-era grandparents house every weekend as a kid and you now have a large portion and the guilt factor of starving children in China (Oh my goodness how many times did I get that line when they dished up something gross or I just wasn't hungry! Unfortunately, their sense of humor was never the same as mine and my response of, "Good! Let's send it to them!" was never met well).

One thing I have learned this week. There's that section on the packaging for many foods that says "Serving Size." I am convinced they're lying, simply because really, who eats 3/4 cup of Mac & cheese? You just don't! Unless you're using it as a side dish. BUT I have discovered if I dish out THEIR portion size, eat it, wait a few minutes, then go back for more, I don't eat as much as I would have if I had just dished up what my eyeballs said I was hungry for when I started. Some days it works. Might be worth a shot.

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DIENEBIENE 5/8/2011 6:22AM

    Hey Jen, I love your blogs and want to say thanks for dropping by my page. It is great to have support from others during times of struggle.
Thanks for being there and being so motivated. That really motivates me as well.
All the best

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MRS_RANDI 5/8/2011 12:49AM

    First of all, I love your blogs, Jen. :) I've never done an actual detox before. We try to avoid processed foods, sugar, and salt in our house and do a pretty good job, but I don't think I could give up my eggs and dairy. And great job being able to stop eating when you are full. I am still working on listening to my body. You've learned alot, which is the key and are moving forward with a wonderful attitude. Keep up the great work! I am enjoying watching you succeed!

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OVERHAULING-ME 5/7/2011 11:48PM

    Love it all. You sure have a knack with writing! Thanks for using your talent to make me laugh, make me smile, teach and inspire!

Have a Great weekend!

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CANNIE50 5/7/2011 8:45PM

    Oh, so many things to love about this blog, and so many good lessons here to ponder. I think, first of all, that you should buy yourself some beautiful, smaller plates and enjoy every morsel of your clean food. Need smaller clothes? Consignment stores usually have some cute stuff if you spend some time looking, and are willing to pay $10-15 to a tailor to have the waist taken in or the hem taken up. I found $100 jeans for $12 and then just paid another $10 to have them taken up a bit. My biggest tip? "I am COMMITTED to losing 50 pounds and I have 29 to go." This is how I phrase it - not I "have" to, or I "need"" to, or I "should", or, the worst one, I'm trying (which leaves open the possibility for failure). I am committed to losing a total of 50 lbs and I am committed to spending time on SP tracking food and exercise and blogging and reading and commenting on blogs (which you can attest to emoticon). I have no desire to be skinny - I weighed 100 lbs as a teenager and, while it was a lot easier to haul around and stuff into jeans, it would look ghastly now. I have no desire to look like I used to, I want to look how I am supposed to - when eating properly and exercising sufficiently and sleeping as long as my body/brain need me to sleep. Anyway, thank you for an amazing blog and you have a VERY bright future, esp as a sparkler! emoticon emoticon

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    Great blog! Number 19 made me literally laugh out loud! All such great tips! I think for me it's about changing my attitude towards exercise; is it going to suck? Oh yeah. Will it make you feel better? Oh yeah! I never looked at exercise as something that would make me feel good now, as much as I really don't want to I tell myself just 10 minutes you will fell so much better, I have yet to actually stop at 10 minutes. It's a process but for me that was the #1 thing I was missing prior to spark people, I needed to move to get my metabolism going!

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MUM_POLARBEAR 5/7/2011 7:48PM

    I'm sorry I don't have a lot to say-- running on not much sleep (too much work, hehe). BUT... I DO want to say that you made my entire day!!! :D For real!!! Usually it is hard for me to read moderate length blogs and I wanted MORE at the end of yours! LOL Your writing is so easy to read! And your topic is fantastic! My favourite part was about giving your scale a funny nickname. ;) Hehe Thanks for sharing!! :D

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MSPRING1987 5/7/2011 4:59PM

    Awesome blog! It is so great that people on spark can share! I really enjoyed your list. I feel the same way about my # which is 236. I feel like I could NEVER have shared that before. Now I don't care on here of course. It's awesome to share with someone! Good luck and I think your detox is awesome too. I'm trying to eat as healthy as possible. In the next coming weeks, I hope to eat more fresh and less lean frozen stuff. It's just finding what I like and starting there. Very motivating! Thanks so much for sharing!

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LADYDARYA 5/7/2011 4:41PM

    This is a great blog! I now make all of the food I eat at home as much as possible, there are no boxed meals, frozen meals, canned food or jarred food in my house unless absolutely necessary. I keep telling myself to grow my own tomatoes and learn how to do things with them.... then I remember that last year everything on my deck got stolen by the darn raccoons... and I mean everything.

Keep up the great work!

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KNOX50US 5/7/2011 4:31PM

    You keep on girl - love the list - I have managed to lose about 13 pounds in a little over a month - my biggest tip: weigh and measure everything and use the nutrition tracker - it keeps me honest.

If I am going into any of the aisles in the supermarket it is for cereal, rice or non food items. I stick to the perimeter. And last, after 4 weeks of eating clean, I can honestly say my cravings for sweet and salty is diminishing.

Good luck, girl - keep the faith!

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55WALKER 5/7/2011 3:05PM

    Thank you!
And we are really glad you really like it here!

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GOLOPTIOUS 5/7/2011 2:36PM

    I have so much love for your list.

I've learned a few things too.

1. Fruit smoothies are every bit as good as a big bowl of ice cream, if not better.

2. If I let myself list excuses, then I will fall for one of them. I am learning to stop myself when I start to make the list.

3. Pretty much anything can be turned into exercise - grocery shopping, cleaning, walking up stairs to work, etc.

4. I don't need to be afraid of people making fun of me at the gym. I always hated that I was bigger than them, but for the most part they admire me for working hard.

5. Those who mock/make fun of me are not worth my time. They are insecure and jealous of my energy and motivation.

6. SparkPeople is my greatest tool and the day I stop using it will be the day I start moving away from my goals instead of toward them.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm thinking that I might turn it into a blog instead of cluttering up your comment page! Thank you for making me think about this!

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MAND8301 5/7/2011 2:22PM

    Loved this blog! You've got great insight! My faves:

15. Perfection is pretty much impossible. A perfect day may be possible. A perfect year, not so much. Perfect your ability to start over after a bad day, not your ability to criticize yourself from small imperfections.
***I'm starting to learn this***

20. I believe that the processed food industry, like the nicotine industry, figured out how to make their product more addictive. I believe that these companies want to sell as much food as possible that is made as cheaply as possible, and if it will make you obese, so be it, as long as you keep buying.
***OH so TRUE!!!!!***


8. I don't have to view working out as a punishment. It can be fun. I like to dance around the house with the GaGa so loud the windows rattle. Taking new and different classes, making playlists for my IPod, harassing friends to join me, etc. make working out much more fun. Next on the list: yoga, pilates, racquetball and kickboxing.
***My personal favorite fun workout is dancing to the radio in my car to my favorite can get a decent ab workout in by just shaking and shimmy-ing your torso while you drive....Granted, I look like an idiot to passers-by, but I'm having a blast!

Those are key for me! Thanks for the uplifting blog! Have a great weekend! emoticon

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My Fat Girl Eyes Are Bigger Than My Skinny Girl Tummy!

Friday, May 06, 2011

I made a plate of food for dinner. 100% on plan, totally Eat to Live friendly. My usual random assortment of veggies and protein. 6 ounces of tempeh with buffalo marinade, 5 slices of eggplant, a roasted beet, 2 cups of brussels sprouts, 1/2 cup fingerling potatoes and half an artichoke. I have more than enough calories left for the day to mow down on all of that food.

Here is what is left after I ate:

Left is the carcass of an artichoke, 1 cup of brussels sprouts, 3 slices of eggplant and 3 ounces of tempeh. I may prepare a plate portioned for a fat girl, but I'm turning into a thin girl in my actions and appetite. Check it: I stopped when I felt full, I ate slowly, I ate what sounded good and I gave my food all of my attention. Ok, that last part was a lie, but I gave it no less than 50% of my attention while I watched Castle.

Woot Woot! Paul McKenna would be at least 75% proud of me.

Progress is being made!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDFOXTROT2 5/7/2011 11:49PM

    emoticon Nice work! I always struggle with my eyes being bigger than my stomach.

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KNOX50US 5/7/2011 10:58AM

    thanks for the encouragement on my smoking - good luck with your weight loos program - it soundds like you are doing fine - you are a beautiful girl - will keep checking in on you to see that thin girl appetite transfrom into a healthy. lean machine! emoticon

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GOLOPTIOUS 5/6/2011 9:43PM

    Castle is a fabulous show!

Congrats on the progress! I don't even think I'd know how to cook half of that meal....

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    You're doing so great! Woohoo!

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EM4488 5/6/2011 9:32PM

    Totally awesome! *Stopping when full!* Now THAT is huge!!!

But other than the fact that you're obviously amazing.....I don't think I eat anything on your plate - and I eat almost EVERYTHING! It's like you picked my least fav foods and mushed them onto one plate (I like eggplant though, just cooked a certain way). How weird!

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GENELDABELDA 5/6/2011 9:22PM

    way to go! emoticon

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CANNIE50 5/6/2011 8:17PM

    Isn't it nice that the fit girl is taking over? By the way, I am so impressed by your food choices.

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AXW1973 5/6/2011 8:10PM

    That's awesome! Good job! emoticon

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    Yum - O! I am totally inspired!

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KIBAISREADY 5/6/2011 8:03PM

    Good Job on stopping when you were full.... That's emoticon Can I have the rest... emoticon

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RAINBOWCHOC 5/6/2011 7:57PM

    well done! it's good to see how far we are along the journey
best wishes, Sandra

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MCCALI59 5/6/2011 7:57PM


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LADYSTARDUST 5/6/2011 7:55PM

    Oooooohhhhhhh, I totally know what you mean! I went to Panera and got their Thai Chicken Salad. I figured I would need the 'whole' portion (still only 390 calories) because I just eat that much. Halfway through I was stuffed to the gills and didn't even have room for the apple that came with it! Time to start ordering down for both of us! emoticon emoticon

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LOLLIE62 5/6/2011 7:46PM

    Maybe I need to eat my meal during Castle, too. I just love it, and I'm sure it would take my mind off of cravings!

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The Woeful Tale of The Dread Pirate Nasty Toe and the Big Mean Podiatrist

Friday, May 06, 2011

So here is the scoop: toe is fixed. Toe will never again need fixing because he got treated with some acid, and not the fun kind from the 70's either.

So Toe Pick (don't tell me you have not seen the movie The Cutting Edge, I may cry) is currently numb and bandaged, but I've been told that about 4pm I will start to realize Toe of Evil is still there and has been put through the ringer today. It was really strange, Mr. Satan Toe was totally numb for the procedure, but my heart was going a mile a minute and about to pound right out of my chest. Funny how your body knows even what your brain doesn't feel.

See my ugly feetus:

Anywho, a week with no pool, and a warning that getting on the treadmill in the next week could slow my healing process, but I was free to do as I saw fit and to let pain be the limiting factor. Seriously? I'm a fatty who is finally having some weight loss success, what do you think I'm going to do? Of course I'm going to suck it up and get my heart rate up. Pain will decide if I do it on a treadmill, a stationary bike, etc etc.

I was a wimp in the pool today. My ipod died (low battery), by goggles kept coming apart at the nose piece, and my heart wasn't in it. I kept thinking about the pain I was going to feel (which honestly wasn't that bad at all) and just couldn't get my head in the game. So 30 lengths of the pool was all I did, I'm going to try not to feel too bad about that.

In better news I found someone who is willing to give me racquetball lessons. Oddly enough, this person is not the "free instructor included with gym membership" that does not seem to exist, this person is my cube mate at work PLUS his apartment complex has a court that is free to use. WOOT! So now I have to decide if I want to buy the $15 racquet they have at Target, or something different. I'm thinking the Target one, if I like it I can always upgrade.

I'm supposed to "take it easy this weekend", so of course I decided this morning to have a grown up (I originally typed "adult" but that gave a wrong sort of impression) slumber party sleep over movie marathon and I texted invites to tons of my peeps. It is so last minute that I expect to have a 10% return on my texting investment, but that's ok, more popcorn for me.

We will be screening John Hughes films, except there is a ban on Home Alone and the Princess Bride gets honorary John Hughes status just because. 16 Candles, Breakfast Club, Some Kind of Wonderful, Pretty In Pink, Weird Science, Career Opportunities and Ferris Bueller's Day Off are all fair game.

Perhaps this can be a warm up for the Harry Potter Marathon that will have to happen before 7.2 comes out. Double WOOT WOOT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMMATTHEWS1 5/9/2011 1:33AM

    I like Harry Potter films too. I'm waiting for them to come out on Dvd. I'm hoping to go swimming today. I'll let you know how far I've swam before the day is out. How long is the pool? Is it 25 metres or 50 metres? See you soon, Jason. Thanks for your comments on my blog. Bye.

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BERGBA7 5/6/2011 5:52PM

    I can feel you...

Got my toe done 20 years ago as a child. It was terribly hurtful, but every bit of it was worth the pain. I have never had any problem anymore! Relax, enjoy the time off and get ready for an even better, new start in a week!

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MAND8301 5/6/2011 5:17PM

    Aww, your poor little (or rather, big) toe.. It looks like it was painful, though I'm glad to hear it wasn't as bad as you had predicted! I'm glad you are being allowed to let pain guide your exercise...I'm sure that was GREAT news for you! emoticon
Did they give you any fun meds for the next few days? LOL
Here's hoping you're up and at 'em again very soon!!

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GENELDABELDA 5/6/2011 4:43PM

    I want to come to the movie marathon, too. Maybe I will just steal your idea. My daughter and husband have had the acid toe treatment...and were back up and at it pretty quickly...but it does depend on how bad it was before said torture. You are making me want to swim instead of bike. I use to swim competitively as a kid and then for exercise when my girls were little.
But we are big into swimming; my daughter swims competitvely year round. In fact I am going to go watch her in a bit do the makes it look sooo easy

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SARACSJ 5/6/2011 4:27PM

    Maybe it's just me, but I think the bandages makes it look more like a ninja toe. Hope it feels better soon! You'll be back at it in no time.

And also, I'm jealous of your movie marathon. My friends and I are organizing an HP mara soon too. It's attempt number 2 because the first time we tried it, we ended up watching Reno 911 and all of the Joe Schmoe Show season 1.

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GOLOPTIOUS 5/6/2011 4:13PM

    I am jealous of your movie marathon. Also, in my opinion, The Princess Bride should be included in every movie marathon.

Poor toe! I hope it heals quickly and with little pain. *high five* for you for not letting it stop your exercise!


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YBRIGGS625 5/6/2011 3:14PM

    Definitely take it easy on the toe for a week. Otherwise, it might take double the amount of time properly heal. Then get back in the pool.

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KABEE2011 5/6/2011 2:12PM

    Oh man! I so wish I was one your "peeps" you texted. I'd even bring extra popcorn for you! John Hughes films rock! Be sure to really 'TAKE IT EASY' while you are recooping and don't push the treadmill thing too much. You can always focus on strength excercises for the next week and keep your stamina going for when you are fully recovered.

Enjoy your popcorn, your movies and the time with your peeps. If they have any kind of symphathetic heart in their bodies... they will come!!!

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OVERHAULING-ME 5/6/2011 2:10PM

    Your poor toe! I'm glad it's done and now you can start the healing and GET BACK to your high intensity workouts! Have fun with your movie night! LOVE those movies! I can't wait for HP 7.2 either! When 7.1 came out my family had a HP marathon. Going to 7.2 for my daughter's 13th b-day...midnight showing OF COURSE!

Have a great day! Take care of yourself and THAT toe!

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MRS_RANDI 5/6/2011 2:05PM

    Sorry to hear about your toe. Take it easy so you can heal properly and get back in that pool! Good luck and feel better.

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