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Depression, TMI, Feeling Like a Failure, Keeping Moving and Music Therapy

Thursday, August 25, 2011

So I'm struggling.

My new fancy yoga mat, my lemony gifts to myself and all the wishing in the world can't change that.

Random FYI: I will probably be talking to the girl at the gym I wrote about last week. I will do it on my terms, when it seems natural and appropriate, and not a moment sooner. I think she deserves to know that she inspires me. I think she deserves to be told this information in a way that does not hurt her feelings or make her feel weird. I'm not going to run up to her and gush. I'm not gushy.

I have a history of clinical depression, which runs in the family. In fact, it doesn't even skip a generation, going back to my great grandparents. Ask me how I'm doing in February, when the Seasonal Effective Disorder hits, and I'll tell you that I need a vacation somewhere very sunny.

I'm the girl who almost made a nursing instructor fall off the stage thingie laughing when she heard me say I was having the breakfast of champions-- 50 mg of Zoloft and a Mt. Dew.

I haven't been on meds for almost five years, but I still know when the symptoms are present and increasing in severity. I keep a close eye on it. I'd be more concerned if it wasn't for the fact that my phone told me my period should start in two days. Yes, there is an app for THAT. So it's PMS with a wee bit of a tendency for depression thrown in. That realization is kind of a relief. It's hormones! It feels the same as regular depression, but it should pass in a few days. Yippee! Not.

I haven't been motivated, I've been over my calories and under on my exercise. I've been good about eating vegan since Tuesday, after taking the day off on Sunday to enjoy the bridal-fest that I spent a month putting together.

Bride-fest in Photos--WARNING, food porn ahead

Dessert Buffet:

The gourmet popcorn--vanilla butternut, pistachio, regular, white cheddar garlic and bacon cheddar:

The cake Cheffrey made:

The cheesecake Cheffrey made:

Gourmet coffee and tea service, including red, heart-shaped sugar cubes:


Ice cream station:

Adorable cookies that look like popcorn:

The crowd of people, some of whom invaded my inordinately large personal space, and led to me driving away from the party for ten minutes like a total OCD freak:

My son, hiding outside away from the crowd, like an OCD freak. Clearly, there is a genetic component:

Two days ago I gained over 10 pounds in a day, ended up with pitting edema in my legs and my previously roomy pants were digging into my skin and leaving marks. That ticked me off. I drank 3 liters of water trying to make it go away, and I drank them in 2 hours, and I still didn't have to pee. It's better now, but not 100% gone.

Pitting Edema:


Work sucks. The day that I was dreading ended up being worse than I had anticipated, although completely different than expected. Work just keeps sucking and I worry that I'm going to have to go quality of life and forsake the fundage, because I am sick to death of 24 hour shifts and some other things.

Dinner during my last shift:


I'm pissed off about grad school, which starts next week and was sold to me as a three year program. Now, with classes starting in less than 10 days and tuition rates making me feel like I'm hemorrhaging money, they are saying it may now be a four year program. This is making me a level of pissy that takes a serious effort to obtain.

I'm one of those people who takes a great deal of effort to seriously piss off, but once you do, watch out. They are on my last nerve and grating upon that last nerve like the year my sister played A Johnny Mathis Christmas every single day, over and over, until a day in June when I put a scratch in that album so deep it was unplayable. By accident, of course.

I know I feel better when I eat vegan, exercise, get enough sleep and take care of myself. It's a fact. So why am I struggling so much to do these things? It's simple. A + B = C. Eat right + exercise + enough sleep = Happy Healthy Jenn. So why am I struggling so?

Today, frustrated, I invoked every happy, motivating, positive, uplifting, motivating thing I could think of.

I ate at my favorite vegan joint, Loving Hut, because I always get food glow when I eat there:


I took a nap.
I booked an exercise date with a friend for today at 7pm.

I loved the food, didn't get the nap due to constant phone calls from work and text messages from people who freaking knew I was trying to take a nap, and at 6:45 my friend bailed on the exercise. I almost went back to bed. But I didn't.

I invoked the power of mother nature, and went for a walk at a local park, thinking that the nature, fresh air, yadda yadda would help remind me how much I like exercise. It was ok. I walked 3 miles and got a reminder that until I can outrun most people I need to be more careful about when and where I walk. The two men walking the trail I was on were not, uhm, interested in girls, it was still a timely reminder that nature walks need to be taken judiciously. Be safe, my SparkPeeps!

Why do I always look all boogley-eyed in my self portraits? Hrmmm.


I was walking kind of, uhm, slowly. Sloth-like even. I tried to invoke the high priestess of exercise tunes, The GaGa, and that helped a bit. At one point I spontaneously broke into a run, which made me smile.

Back in the car and still feeling down and failure-like, I went to my higher depression power. I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof and with the Bose set for nosebleed, I sped around listening to In The Evening by Led Zepplin. (In case you are wondering... www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg6MIuXrFf8 ) Nice, and amongst the top tier of classic rock depression relief, but I still felt depressed. Then I went for the gusto... Long Cool Woman (In a Red Dress) by The Hollies. (Remind me to tell my Graham Nash story one day).

It is hard not to smile when listening to The Hollies. www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP94PlEtsEQ

I still feel like Eeyore. I will be eating vegan if it kills me these next few days, because I don't need to take Advil every four hours for cramps if I do. Excellent incentive, don't you think?

I am desperately searching for my motivation, and I will fake it if I must until it magically leaps back into my body. I've scheduled beginner yoga for tomorrow, heated yoga Sunday and candlelight yoga for Tuesday. I'm particularly intrigued by the idea of yoga done for relaxation by candlelight. Mmmmmm.

Anyway, I am posting this. It sounds whiney and depressed, but weight loss isn't all hearts, chocolate and flowers. This is me, this is who I am, and this is what I am struggling with. I'm a real person who gets overwhelmed, down, fails to go to the gym, eats too much, gets tired after working 24 hour shifts, etc. This is my life.

My coworker's butt, while he tries to fix his powerstrip under his desk. Why? To prove I haven't totally lost my sense of humor.


And this random thing, found in the juice aisle:

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKLIN11 9/6/2011 9:41AM

    Jenn Ok so I am here with tips that helped me with what you struggle with. Exercise as you know always helps and sleep is great . I used to do 2 16 hourshifts then and 8 then 2 days off and then do it again.

Ginsing in the 10 mg vial with royal jelly daily it is a great adaptogen. I would not get the shivers at 4 am when I took it. It also helped me sleep.
Omega 3's and lots of them Theat helped me get off zoloft and stay off of it.
Coconut oil use it making eggs it is great.
Aso Yogi makes a great PMS tea. It is worth a try.

Good luck! and let me know how it is going!

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KNITTR1 9/5/2011 5:18PM

    There is no such thing as TMI around here, and if you can't b***** and moan around here to us, well.....

Hang in there. The grad school thing is NOT a good situation. I hate it when they tell you one thing, usually till they have your money, and then they tell you the truth. Very unethical, and unprofessional in my humble opinion.

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NURSESROCK3 8/31/2011 9:59PM

    I love your blogs! They make me smile. I'm having serious motivational issues, trying desperately to get refocused. That gourmet popcorn and the cheesecake look wonderful! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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KARENE10 8/31/2011 8:19PM

    Such entertaining blogs:) My PMS use to be so bad that coworkers made up songs about me(they were focused on what a b**** I was at that time of month). I can't imagine 24 hr.shifts~8 are bad enough. The cakes and other food from the shower look FABULOUS~I want some:) On the other hand------Kraut Juice- emoticon

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MISSB8604 8/30/2011 2:26PM

    Oh man did I love this blog. And no, I don't love the fact that you're having a hard time, experiencing that time of the month, etc but that you blogged this so that the rest of us could breathe a sigh of relief. I mean honestly, things aren't always going to be perfect and I applaud you for trying SO HARD to get yourself back together...such an inspiration. I know I would have just gone to bed, but you actually got up and WALKED...you're amazing.

So thankful for you and your blogs.

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PRUSSION 8/30/2011 1:03PM

    I like your taste in music. The upper food pics made my teeth ache..ouch! You are a real person, and I appreciate that

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LAKAISER 8/29/2011 10:22PM

    I totally know were you are coming from. You discribed me, the drepression, SADD, Lack of Exercise and the motivation to do it. I'm doing great as far as the diet, but just having trouble getting motivated to exercise and I just want to sleep.

Stay strong, we'll support each other

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MARITIMER3 8/29/2011 9:57PM

    Dear Jenn - you are struggling because you are human! I also suffer from clinical depression, and even though I'm 67, I swear that once a month something kicks in... can I still have hormonal swings at 67???

I love your blogs. You are so open, and honest, and funny, and painfully truthful. You tell it like it is, even if it hurts.

You doubt yourself sometimes, and get pissed off about things sometimes, and then you figure out what's wrong, and pull yourself back up by your bootstraps (love that expression!) and start over again.

I hate to tell you this, but you are a success! You're working, and studying, and eating the best you can most of the time, and exercising... and all that adds up to being a success!

Hang in there, and start planning for your winter vacation to someplace very sunny!

Gail
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DANAPRIME 8/29/2011 9:35PM

    Thanks for sharing Jen. I have been fighting with depression since 1987. Here is my best advice: Keep on keeping on. Good luck and God speed!!!!

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~INDYGIRL 8/29/2011 4:52PM

    I SOOOO know how you feel! I have clinical depression and bipolar. It's an effort to shower some days. My mantra is Dress the part. Act the part. Suck it up. If I dress cheery, act cheery, and suck it up, well it just helps me fake it til I make it some days. I AM on meds and would gladly take more if it would stop the hell of depression. You are doing all of the right things and I am very impressed! You inspire me. I like that you have such variety in your life.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/29/2011 2:35PM

    Ahh depression! It is such a b#tch eh? I find running really gets me through when I feel the blues setting in!!!! I am adopted so I am not really up on depression in my family. But after meeting my BM I now know where I get my pretentious diva ish ways. SO I am sure she graced me with some sorta mental health issue!!!!!!! You are a star Jen!!!! Thanks for sharing your self with me!!! xo emoticon

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GRRARRGH 8/29/2011 1:47PM

    Kraut juice????? Wow. That may be the grossest thing I've ever seen. :)

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POLSKARENIA 8/29/2011 1:04PM

    Look after no.1 - you need and deserve some pampering, but also whatever you're doing will be right in the long run. You know the answers...

24 hour shifts are unimaginable - I find it tough enough that I go out to teach at 6am and often don't get home till gone 6pm... that and being a full-time mum to an 11 year old too. Remember to be a friend to yourself - we are usually far harder on ourselves than on our worst enemies!!

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TAURUSGIRL3 8/29/2011 12:34PM

  Thanks for sharing! Love the Kraut Juice. Keep your sense of humor and know that you will get through this little slump of motivation.

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BELIEVE2011 8/29/2011 12:33PM

    This depressed, lack of exercise, PMS thing seems to be an epidemic. Yours is the 3rd blog I've read from the past week with all of the above and since I've only read 3 blogs today that makes is 100% lol. So do not feel you are alone. I do want to thank you for the food porn and the coworker butt--made me smile. Hope this week goes better.
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SOULOFADANCER 8/29/2011 11:44AM

    I deal with hormone swings too.
Eating sugar also casuses me to bloat
I really related to a lot of this and am proud you know your signals

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SHIHJABO 8/29/2011 11:31AM

    Thanks for being real, Jen!! emoticon
Barb

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SA2002NG 8/29/2011 10:31AM

    You are simply hilarious. Glad to hear you have recognized and are dealing with your depression sans meds. All the best with your weight loss.

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MRSDRAEGER 8/29/2011 10:19AM

    Hang in there, Jenn! I've been battling depression as well, and it's a chore not to go hide in a sack of Oreos... or mini Three Musketeers. haha :) :) You are a very strong woman, and I enjoy reading your blogs immensely. You inspire many of us here, and your struggles inspire us as much as your successes! emoticon

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MY_HEALTH_BABY 8/29/2011 9:52AM

    Thanks for sharing : the Led Zepellin track, ice-cream cake and co-worker's pic made my morning glorious! emoticon

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JENNJO322 8/29/2011 9:12AM

  Jenn, thanks for sharing your struggle. I was having a week of struggling last week and it helps to know there are others going through hard times too. Hope the sun starts making you smile again inside. I love your blogs!!! emoticon

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PINKGRANNY 8/29/2011 9:08AM

    Great to vent! Hang in there, you are on the right path but sometimes there are just those pissy things that do take us over the edge a bit.

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TEAGUE1612 8/29/2011 6:36AM

    chin up charlie! as our aussie biggest loser trainer says "its all about consistency, not motivation! motivation is about feeling and consistency is about doing"

i'm sure the girl in the gym will love it if you say hi. you never know... she might just be needing a pick me up too!

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 8/29/2011 4:04AM

    Thank you for sharing. Those with clinical depressions have special challenges that many are not aware of. As for me, I have some of the same type of issues, and a good dose of reality in addition to validation is a big boost. emoticon emoticon

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LEAH-FITMOM 8/29/2011 1:45AM

    Omg!! Now I'M depressed too! Sheesh!

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KARINSKY1 8/29/2011 12:47AM

    Jen,

Thank you for your honest & vulnerability as well as your strength and sense of humor. I love reading your blogs because they are always inspirational, yes, even this one. I suffer from depression as well and always fall back into eating all the foods that are my comfort foods. HOWEVER, you are still so far ahead girl. I heard somewhere (wish I could remember where), this great quote "Going into your head alone is like going into a bad neighborhood, you should never go in alone." So Jen, you need to invite someone else into your head to take a look around and give you a fresh perspective. AND........................if you need to get back on the Zoloft for a while JUST DO IT!!! emoticon

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 8/28/2011 9:16PM

    Depression sucks big time! You expressed it nicely. Pitting edema sucks too - big problem with mine this week. I ended up taking Lasix and lost 3 pounds in 3 hours. I ended up losing 4 pounds. That was a morale booster because I was seriously depressed over gaining 4.4 pounds in a couple days.
The party you threw was amazing! Everything looked great and I'm sure it was delicious.
Take care of yourself and do things that make you feel better when you're not working. Sending you hugs emoticon

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TRULYVISIBLE 8/28/2011 8:08PM

  The amazing party you put on should cheer you up. I would hire you as my party planner any time. Loved the ice cream cone cake, good idea, never have seen that before. Popcorn cookies, how cute. I would have dived into that delicious looking cheesecake. When I am at goal weight I am going to order one from you and have it shipped to me.

You're a great writer!

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MRFUZZ 8/28/2011 12:10PM

    I loved your blog! Was a pick me up for me! I need to get back to this. Your humor sure helped. Thanks!

Comment edited on: 8/28/2011 12:10:58 PM

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ROJAKHAN 8/28/2011 11:50AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSPIN74 8/28/2011 11:32AM

    emoticon we all have our times...but you are in touch with what you need to know & do...so it's all good...still wishing you some feel better quicker though vibes! emoticon

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FLYING2007 8/28/2011 10:49AM

    I am a big believer in zoloft- I feel the need to up my mg at this time of year because the light is fading. I can't imagine how I would be working 24 hr shifts. Good luck to you- depression sucks, pms sucks I feel for you!


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MERWAK 8/28/2011 10:24AM

  Great blog post, Jen.
Doing whatever you can for self-care to get through these times is so important. It's easy to lose oneself into a bingeing coma...not so easy to love oneself when we are feeling the way you were. Compassion. love. compassion. love. compassion. love. it's the mantra that works!
If there was such a thing as handling something like this "perfectly" I would say you did!

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REBECCA431 8/28/2011 8:10AM

    B12...GET SOME!!! I discovered seasonal depression a few years ago. I comes late fall until spring. I found daylight bulbs..yes they work!!! and B12 I take a multivitamin with 3000% of them and I can tell when I need them. I of course miss these often and then will be consistent. One day at a time and one bite at a time...YOU CAN DO IT!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REDICKK 8/28/2011 6:00AM

  Thanks for putting it in words :) I'm sure you have connected with far more people than you will ever know...and everyone one of us is rooting for you. Here's some advice I gave a friend who recently started back to school as a teacher (in an AWFUL administrative climate)....Smile. Breath. Remember what you REALLY like about your profession. Ignore the rest.

Adapt for yourself "Smile. Breath. Remember what you REALLY like about yourself." Good Luck!

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DWILCZKO 8/28/2011 5:51AM

  awesome blogs!

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CAROLIAN 8/28/2011 5:11AM

    emoticon Hope you feel better soon

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SKINYME7 8/27/2011 11:33PM

  All I Can say is look up Roy Masters,www.fhu.com, I got it after I read what he had to say. Good luck and stay in the moment. easy to say, but hard to do.

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TRACYNOTGIVINUP 8/27/2011 10:39PM

    I hope you are feeling better since this blog was posted...I thought I was going to be sooooo wanting to eat after seeing all the food in your blog...then I saw the kraut juice....lol

My daughter suffers from depression, so though I dont know first hang, I can see that is something very difficult to live with and hope you have felt better in the past couple of days.

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SKINNYMISSKASEY 8/27/2011 9:50PM

    I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. I had a few moments of those myself when my mom made a comment to me this week (in my newest blog) about being able to tell about the bit of weight I gained back due to binging (which, I am currently winning the battle with).

There is a girl I approached at the gym on Thursday because I thought she was, in other words, a girl I only wish I could be like. Turns out she was super nice and we are now friends on Facebook. (Plus I have seen her talk to the guy I like, so maybe'd this friendship with her would help.)

But I always ask myself too - why do we feel better when we do good and treat our bodies well, and feel like crap when we don't.

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GIANNA345 8/27/2011 8:15PM

    I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. What is it you do for work that requires 24 hour shifts? That sounds like a real challenge. I'm not surprised you are feeling that way if your sleep is irregular and all broken up. That can cause a lot of mood problems and food issues all by itself.

In spite of all that, you walked and you wrote. It took energy to do that. It's something to feel good about. I wish you lots of luck with your challenges. I have my share too, and I'm working on them.
Janet
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DAWNFIRE72 8/27/2011 7:08PM

    Sorry you are feeling like Eeyore (I know how that is as I am much more Eeyore than Tigger). I'm glad that you got a walk in at least and I think I'd be cross eyed and pissy working 24 hour shifts too (actually I'm pretty pissy only working 9 hour shifts so I'd probably be homicidal working 24 hours).

I wonder if Kraut Juice is made with real Krauts (sorry channeling Wednesday Aadams).

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PS I really LOVE Cheffrey's cakes they look fabulous.

Comment edited on: 8/27/2011 7:09:06 PM

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KENAZFEHU 8/27/2011 5:54PM

    Ummmmmmmm; kraut juice. Mixed 1:1 with tomato juice and taken 1 tbsp at a time, it is an excellent morning sickness reliever. No - really; I'm totally serious. Something about the enzymes.

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LAMARY9 8/27/2011 5:27PM

    Wow! What a day. I suppose the only way is up after this. :) It will get better.

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MONICAJEAN68 8/27/2011 5:21PM

    Thank you for posting about depression many suffer from it including myself..not many people can say they are depressed , takes a real person to buck up..and i love your stories,,and the juice in the super market was over the top..keep up the blogs you make alot of people laugh..the best medicine in te world.

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BKANE66 8/27/2011 5:14PM

    Completely understand about clinical depression and the lack of motivation! emoticon
Sending some positive energies your way.
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ILSAWING 8/27/2011 4:46PM

    Wow Jenn, you are real. Sorry you're going thru this, I kinda know how you feel. I also struggle with depression. And it must be the weather, or in the air, or water or somethin because the depression bug has bitten so many people in the last 2 weeks! Mine went off the charts this past week. Mostly because I thought I could deal without meds. I want to try to go totally natural, but I rushed it. Now I have a Dr appt next Friday and am hoping to get good info on alternatives to meds. My moods are evening out but I lost my obsessive motivation, I was on a roll for 6 months. Take care of yourself! And THANKS so much for your honesty and bravery in posting your amazing blogs!

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MARYMO22 8/27/2011 2:41PM

    I know exactly how you feel - I feel similarly crap at the moment
BUT I've had a good day today, really focused on me, and it's helped....

Hope you're feeling better / much more motivated

Can I say, there's a pattern to your blogs - I think you get like this each month - I know I do
Hugs


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REALGIRL2 8/27/2011 1:01PM

    i just found your blog a couple of weeks ago... but really can identify with you! haha! you are a real girl --- thanks for sharing who and where you are! you encourage me and make me laugh!

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REDSHOES2011 8/27/2011 11:46AM

    emoticonhang in there.. Just keep busy and don't let depressions claws grab you..

Comment edited on: 8/27/2011 11:47:40 AM

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Self-Care, Pics, Presents, Hair, Crap Day and Rambling.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I have a tendency to let my hair and caterpillars (eyebrows) go. The man hair on the chin bugs the crap out of me, so I stay right on top of that, and the legs too, since I'm in the pool a lot. But the hair, well, the hair totally gets hosed in the grand scheme of things. Part of it is ectoplasmic residue from the days of FatJenn.

It always felt like trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, so why waste the money? I'd get a trim every six months whether I needed it or not, and scrunchies are much cheaper than highlights. Wash, rinse, ponytail, repeat. Simple enough, right? The other reason? Jeezum H Pete on a Crispix, getting the maintenance work done on this head of mine is like a car payment.

Well, since my "makeover" in May I've been trying to keep up on my personal appearance stuff. Nails, those I've done well with, hair, well, let's just say I was behind on root maintenance.

Today I took care of me. I didn't work today at either job, instead I took myself to Pei Wei for a vegan yummy lunch, got a cut and highlight, then I went to the mall for my 35, 40 and 45 pound loss presents, the nature of which I had not yet determined. Next time, they will be predetermined because letting me loose without clearly defined objectives on payday is NOT SMART. Not smart is also known as "this doesn't help me with the nightmare commonly known as paying for grad school out of pocket"

L'Occitane, also known as my lemon-verbena-scented-crack-dealers, won. I got myself a new bottle of their lemon verbena (you're shocked, aren't you?) perfume, some lemon verbena hand soap and some shower gel. Yes, the shower gel was, in fact, lemon verbena scented. Not bad for presents to myself.

Unfortunately, I went into a new store after the lemony crack dealers, and they had something I've been needing. Yoga stuff. Lots of it. Awesome yoga stuff. Fantastic oodles of it. The sales staff, who were all sporting yoga clothes on their AMAZING bodies, were very nice. Super nice. Genuine, oozing good health, arms like Dara Torres and super nice. Byotches! No, actually, I heart them. I will be going back.

They sold me what I came in for (a towel to make me stop slipping on my own sweat in class), then talked me out of it because it wasn't what was best for me, then sold me what i needed (a mat so slip resistant it should even work in hot yoga, and my money back if it doesn't) and then they invited me to free yoga classes.

So, the new swanky mat will have to be my 50 pounds lost prize, which is a good thing, as it cost almost as much as my 35, 40 and 45 pound presents combined. Yes, it is true that I'm only at 46 pounds, if you want to get all official-like, but I don't care, I'm keeping my new, sticky, overly expensive, sky/ocean blue yoga mat that was sold to me by goddesses. Period.

I'm hoping my Mom will take a yoga class like she has been saying she wants to do, and I can give her my used only twice lovely purple yoga mat. Maybe she won't sweat like a pig like her oldest offspring.

I am totally lacking an interesting segue way, so on to the next topic plaguing my brain. I have a spectacularly craptaculacious day planned at work tomorrow. You wanna know what's really sick about it? I volunteered for it, to spare my coworkers the horror, and because i know I can handle it. I expect it to be the kind of day that makes people quit jobs after they cry and self-medicate with copious amounts of top shelf alcohol. I don't talk about work here, and have no plans to start, other than vague references to medical crap and nurseyness, but tomorrow is going to suck Rocky Mountain oysters.

Tomorrow isn't even here yet and my stress level is through the roof. Poor Cheffrey, he isn't even home yet and I'm taking it out on him via text. It totally blows being married to me. I'm thankful to Spark for giving me a place to vent instead of eating my feelings. I'm sure Cheffrey is too, he just doesn't know it. (I don't let him read my stuff here, I won't even tell him the full name of the site. If I want to share something with him, I read it aloud, even though I HATE-LOATHE-CANNOT STAND being read to by anyone other than a professional book on tape reader. Yes, I am a hypocrite.)

This is a new for me, to actively look for a positive outlet, to think, "Wow, I should blog, I can feel myself getting upset and I know I'm not hungry so why is the entire jar of Krema spicy peanut butter in serious danger?" (Krema.com and yes, it is fantabulous). FatJenn (registered trademark pending, haha) didn't even recognize the stress for what it was and just started eating. Now, I identify it, squelch the urge to feed it, and look for ways to distract or cope.

This is a good thing, and not a Martha Steward catch phrase b.s. good thing. It is a genuinely good thing that is life-improving. Yippee!

So, to continue the trend of aimless rambling, I thought some photos would be lovely, although "after" kind of looks more like a "before" pic.

New hair. I don't know why I always take my self portraits in the car, I just do:


New hair after 5.33 miles at the gym:


Nails, which I think are coming along nicely:

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIESJ 9/13/2011 12:10PM

    Okay, seriously, you're blogs are awesome and I find myself laughing out loud. Thanks for a much needed respite in my otherwise "crapalicious" day. Hugs.

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BEACHGIRL76 9/9/2011 2:16PM

    Another awesome blog! lol I love the hair color on you! And your nails are FAB girl! Work it:) And keep that yoga mat! Now you have to go to the classes! Way to go for 5.33 miles and for making it just a few pounds from the 50lb loss mark! Woo hoo!! You are doing great!

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THISANNIE 8/31/2011 12:18PM

  Thank you so much jennswims for making me laugh - yes, miserable, uba-chubby and generally p***ed off me! I too suffer from depression and know the mind-numbingly foulicity of the cursed brain. But now . . . well, will look for your posts with eagerness, and may even try writing on here to blot out the haribo cravings. When all else fails I seek sweetness, tried seeking alcohol (because I've never met a fat alcoholic!) but don't like the migraines that follow, also, shouldn't take anti-D meds with a glass of sloe gin! Could try being a vegan, although husband dead against that as his ex was one, she was slim too. Actually, beginning to think he likes me fat as stops anyone else from wanting me - is that a common thought?
Off now to steam some vegetables, but once again, Jenn, thank you so very much x


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CARAFAE37 8/29/2011 4:04PM

    Love your hair! I wish my nails looked as nice as yours :D Mine need some work!

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WILDFIREKRISTIN 8/27/2011 1:08PM

    You look beautiful! Love the hair after the run, that is my favorite of all. It is great you can vent and yet, be inspirational to everyone! Amazing! emoticon emoticon

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MARIJO150 8/27/2011 10:58AM

    I am so going to the store today for that color of nail polish!

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CANTWEIGHT2LOSE 8/27/2011 8:09AM

    I might get addicted to your blogs
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BRANDI.FEY 8/26/2011 4:48PM

    I'm a bit obsessed with my eyebrows, but I self-maintain. Thank goodness I don't have a magnifying mirror, though. I'd probably pluck myself to death.

And ZOMG, lemon verbana? emoticon

Thanks for the smile.

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COMEONMA 8/26/2011 12:40PM

    Love your blog! Thanks for making me laugh!

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SPARKLISE 8/26/2011 9:36AM

    Eyebrows were always a hard thing for me to upkeep also,so now i go have them done every 3 weeks! emoticon
Your hair and nail look fabulous! I am jealous!
You are an inspiration so keep on blogging!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HUTCHISDM 8/26/2011 6:56AM

    LOL - see this is what I truly love about blogs - they are the perfect vent space, and there are lots of people out here who manage to do what yuohave done - vent, and create something that makes other people understand, and laugh at the way you sum up the situaion at the same time. Myself, when I blog, I have been known to write with loads of sarcasm, and being an utter smart***. I can't help it. I got the ability naturally from both of my parents.
But you sound like you are doing great, and you 're looking great too. Keep up the good work, and the blogs, and you'll get where you want to be!

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JULIA1154 8/26/2011 1:35AM

  Looking good, Jenn. emoticon

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DRAMAJLN 8/25/2011 11:05PM

    I agree that rewarding yourself with predetermined things is much better than going and then trying to decide what to get. Today I finally bought myself my 20 pound reward. I decided to get shoes because those will continue to fit even as I continue to drop the weight. However, I had to remind myself many times that I wasn't there to get new jeans, shirts, or bath soaps as rewards too. I think I will start now to decide what my 30 pound reward is, then I will be ready to get it when I hit that mark.

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HDHAWK 8/25/2011 9:57PM

    Fantastic hair. I wish I could grow nails like yours!

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JADOREMOI 8/25/2011 5:43PM

    Awesome!! Hair and nails look great!

I do this too. My birthday is next month, and I've been sticking to the gym for 2 months....so I rewarded myself with a L.A.M.B. Harajuku Girls tote bag to use for carrying my stuff to the gym, replacing the ugly beat up one I was using. It's a $90 bag marked down to $35, but I still felt sorta bad for spending that much. That gives me new incentive to keep hitting the gym so I can get lots of use out of the bag!

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BLUEROSE73 8/25/2011 12:01PM

  love the new hair. And the nails are looking great.

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 8/25/2011 10:43AM

    I love that you went and had a "for you" kind of day... BUT, I have to ask, and I'm really sorry, but did you talk to the "fat" girl at the gym? In a previous life I was the fat girl at the gym (I am still fat, just not at the gym anymore), and I would have LOVED someone to come up to me and say, gee whiz, you are here everyday, good for you, or Hi, I'm Jen... You may not WANT to, but maybe you SHOULD???? And you could make your new mat the "gift you give yourself for giving the gift of gab to someone else"...

emoticon

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SUZANNA_XX 8/25/2011 7:29AM

    emoticon

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NYARAMULA 8/25/2011 5:45AM

    emoticon

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BSEANACAIN 8/25/2011 12:25AM

    cute

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WONDERFUL2BME 8/24/2011 10:44PM

    I love your frankness. It makes me feel almost normal when I hear the ramblings of others

Your hair was worth it! Yeah, it is expensive, but you are worth it and if your working, which you are, you need to pay yourself once in awhile or what is the point? emoticon

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LUVMYCRAZYKIDS 8/24/2011 9:53PM

    AWESOME! You look great! The best part about the hair is knowing that once you are free of sweat & stink, you can stand up to anyone! That feels great! emoticon

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KSNANA2 8/24/2011 8:49PM

    Love the hair and nails! And good for you on rewarding yourself. I need to put more thought into doing that for myself. It might help.
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MYSLIMBODY 8/24/2011 5:09PM

    Awesome your hair and nail look great. emoticon

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LAC936 8/24/2011 4:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOMMYTOLEAH 8/24/2011 3:05PM

    :) emoticon

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NANCYLRAGS 8/24/2011 2:35PM

    You are doing great! And you will love the yoga mat - great investment. Seems to last forever. Now I use it under my other mat on our wood floors - keeps the other mat from slipping and whether it is the wood or my age...I need the padding. I do have a lot of padding myself but .... emoticon

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SHEL1181 8/24/2011 2:20PM

    Love the hair!!! You made me laugh my freakin' butt off! emoticon

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CATHM26 8/24/2011 2:18PM

    You look awesome - I really like the hair

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BLUSTAR 8/24/2011 1:50PM

    nice hair do and yes the nails too... is that a topaz ring :)
keep up the great work!
Glenda

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LIVIN2LOVE1 8/24/2011 1:49PM

    You look amazing in your new hair! It's good to see you sticking to your reward purchases. I'm still working on that one. I'm also still working up the nerve to blog regularly. Maybe I need a blog cleanser. A colon cleanser helps one become a regular eliminator. Wouldn't a blog cleanser help one become a regular blogger?

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HIFIGODDESS 8/24/2011 1:21PM

    Thanks Jenn. The hair *does* look smashing, and I hope the craptastic day wasn't as bad as you previously expected!

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RMCCRAW76 8/24/2011 11:55AM

    Love your blog. I am going to start blogging more myself. I get so bored...and that's when the food strikes!!!

Your hair looks great...I tend to do self portraits in my car too...why IS that????

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TENACIOUSTIGER 8/24/2011 11:13AM

    hey crazyfunnyentertainingjenn i loved your blog you think like me fairly dramatic, loved to hear about your adventurers, you are much better and braver posting your post running pic, i get really sweaty in the gym and hot (menopausal) I used to wear shorts and a crop top but now have put on extra kg s after my surgery (leg) that i just sweat it out in skins and a full t shirt to try to hide the bulges pity it wont be winter here forever thanks for sharing emoticon

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THEMUGGET 8/24/2011 9:35AM

  Gorgeous! Way to go!
I am a ponytail person. I'm not proud. Sometimes, if I'm being fancy, I twirl it into a bun.

You have inspired me to get my highlights done!


emoticon
I think maybe this emoticon looks like highlights.


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JAMGIRL8 8/24/2011 8:36AM

    Jenn, I love this blog, and your new do! Awesomeness!! Keep up your hard work and thanks for nudging me along to hang in there.

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JLEMUS1 8/24/2011 7:53AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REBECCA431 8/24/2011 6:00AM

    What a day!!!I love to do a me day for rewards...whether it is nails, hair(I think I'm on the same plan as you) or lunch with the girls and shopping. Loved the blog!!! emoticon

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ANGEL0101 8/24/2011 5:57AM

    love ur blogs .... ur hair looks great btw !!!!! best of luck on the 50 lbs loss and start thinking of ur next prezzie emoticon

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DHALYIA 8/24/2011 5:08AM

    Ahhh, the horror of nursey things. Made me giggle. Im about to sail into six days off after a nine. Gut thru it and get sleep when you can. Love your blogs, thanks!

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SCORNFULLEARNER 8/23/2011 11:40PM

    I've been inspired to treat myself to things when I reach the bigger goals by your blog! :) Your hair is very pretty, by the way! :)
I know I'm a random stranger, but your blog just popped up and I read it!

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MYBRUTUS 8/23/2011 10:40PM

  I love your blog and you definitely should be writing for someone. You are hilarious!
And you hair is gorgeous. I thought I would reward myself just simply joining this community.
I went and had my haircut and my nails done too.
Unfortunately for me ... my haircut is that of a fifth grade boy I used to know and my nails are all bubbled like when we were kids and used old nail polish.
Somehow the actions were the same with two very different outcomes.I probably should have waited to reward myself huh? emoticon

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-LINDA_S 8/23/2011 10:12PM

    I just love your blog and am glad I happened upon it. You write so well and with great self-deprecating humor. I just may have to subscribe...

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DOLLYHOLLY 8/23/2011 9:46PM

    Gosh I wish I can write such awe inspiring blogs as you! Are you secretly a writer for magazines? P.S. Love the youth & glow in your face! Nice haircut. I had my eyebrows shaped only once and then I tweeze & trim them regularly.

emoticon
~H

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CHOCOLATECHILD 8/23/2011 9:38PM

    You have a great way with words - and good job on the hair :)

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MOSTMOM1 8/23/2011 9:30PM

    Girl, I love your ramblings. Hope you survived your suckish day. Way to take one for the team.
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HEALTHYMAMA4 8/23/2011 8:49PM

    Love it! Way to go!

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KWRIGHT26 8/23/2011 8:15PM

    I love the preemptive 50-lb loss gift. Brilliant!

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MIDGIEDAWN2 8/23/2011 7:23PM

    I can so understand paying for school "out of pocket" and how it affects budgeting. I am almost done with a master's (November 2011--yyiippeee) and am considering my PhD. Only time will tell. Good Luck With your Degree

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SMGNASH 8/23/2011 7:22PM

  Wonderfully, entertaining post! Lemon-verbena-anything from L'Occitane smells heavenly and your stress is sure to lift when you pamper yourself! Nails look great and now I'm thinking, "I need to address those soon" as I watch my fingers type away. Haircut looks great, too, and I'm thinking, "I need a haircut" as I see my reflection on my laptop screen. A general overhaul/makeover will do nicely! Thanks for sharing... will look forward to more of your writing talents along the way!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

There Is a Big Fat Chick at the Gym

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

There is a woman at the gym that most people probably notice, but not for good reasons. No, she isn't the supermodel that I wrote about a few months ago, the one who was so gorgeous that it was hard not to stare. In fact, aside from being tall, she doesn't have any supermodel attributes. She's a very big girl.

She's taller than me, probably close to 6 feet tall vs my 5'9".

She's heavier than me. She's probably got me beat by 100 pounds, and I'm not petite at 265.4 pounds. Her belly is bigger than mine. She's easily in the size 26/28 range and I'm graduating into 22's and some 20's.

She isn't afraid to sweat, the girl works hard and gets all glowy, as they say. I'm all about sweaty, I love it.

She looks like she may have had gastric bypass surgery or she has already lost a considerable amount of weight, because her skin is floppity (that's what we professional surgery writers call it, floppity).

She has great hair, but I think I have pretty great hair, too so we are even there. She is usually smiling, and I could lie to you and say that I smile when I'm working out, but I think that might be a big, obese lie.

I don't think she can run, but she does well on the elliptical, which I hate with the fiery, burning passion of 1,000 exploding suns.

She never does that leaning over the machine hanging on for dear life thing that irritates me beyond all reason, so she's totally cool as far as that goes. She's someone who doesn't work your last nerve by hitting one of your pet peeves, if your gym peeves include a) people who don't wipe off equipment and b) people who cling to cardio machines.

I know I'm supposed to admire skinny chicks with lips like Angelina Jolie, boobs like Pam Anderson, legs like a Vegas showgirl and abs like a washboard, but I admire her. Yes, I admire the morbidly obese girl at the gym. I'm a fan girl in an obnoxious star-studded movie premier "squeeeeee" kind of way.

Like a groupie in an I can't believe I work out at the same gym as you because you are so fan-freaking-tastic weirdo kind of way. I want to run over to her machine and gush and tell her how awesome I think she is and try not to scare her in a stalker-esque kind of way. I'm telling you, in a rambly dorkish kind of way, I'm a serious admirer.

I've never talked to her, I'm afraid I'd scare her with my over the top rambling about how awesome she is. I don't know her name, and I'd say we are the same age, but that is just a guesstimate.

Seriously though, how can you not admire someone who is at the gym EVERY SINGLE TIME you go the the gym? Someone who religiously does what they know they need to do? I'm serious. If I go to the gym in the evening, she is there, sweaty and working hard. I have NEVER gone on a weekday evening and failed to see her. She is like a workout machine. Like clockwork. Doing cardio or strength training and doing it like she means it.

I admire her and she's never going to know it, because much like my personal policy of not talking to the people gripping the cardio machines for dear life, I'm never going to say a peep. Still, I wish she knew. I wish she knew she wasn't just another fat girl at the gym and that someone at the gym really thinks she is the bee's knees.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRAASCH42 9/20/2011 11:38PM

    Yeah,tell her. I know i wouldnt mind a nice work now and then on my walks around the neighborhood.

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COMPASS_ROSE 8/31/2011 10:48AM

    If you can't tell her in person, write her a thank you note and hand it to her on your way out of the gym! Tell her how much she has inspired you and list "sparkpeople.com." You never know she may be there because she's inspired by you! Thanks for sharing this story with us!

emoticon TELL HER BECAUSE SHE DESIRES TO KNOW! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/31/2011 10:49:22 AM

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LISANANTAIS1970 8/29/2011 10:23PM

    Please get past that barrier and tell her!! I make it my personal mission in life to make people smile every day. People in this modern society do not interact enough on a personal level and shy away from real social interaction. Just think of how you might make her day! It's an amazing thing to see how someone literally blossoms before your eyes when you pay them a genuine compliment...who knows you could end up becoming life long friends!!

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CLARABRUNNING 8/29/2011 9:50PM

    TELL HER. It is incredibly encouraging when people I don't know cheer me on. She might really need to hear it!

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SHOOPETTE 8/28/2011 3:40AM

    so did you ever tell her? I'm sure she'd appreciate positive feedback

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BEINGGUIDED 8/26/2011 8:31AM

    There is a lady in her early 40s that jogs around my neighborhood. She is around a size 18. She wears her workout gear, one of those athletic tops and spandex shirts. It is 105 and I see her at 6pm on a constant basis, walking/jogging around here. More than once I have wanted to stop her as she jogs past my house and tell her how amazing I think she is and what a great job she is doing. She would probably think I am nutty.


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NACHOSMAMA 8/25/2011 12:16PM

    Tell her! For all you know, she could use that boost! I admire women like her too :)

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/24/2011 9:32PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon


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BRIGHTPENNY 8/24/2011 9:23AM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon


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BRIGHTPENNY 8/24/2011 9:22AM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/24/2011 9:22AM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:26PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:05PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:04PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:03PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:03PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/23/2011 9:02PM

    Definitely tell her! You have no idea what this would mean to her. Consider this your good deed for the week. ..to bring joy to another is truly giving them a gift.
jan emoticon emoticon

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RJSAMS 8/23/2011 2:07PM

    I agree with everyone--you should say something to her. I think you would make her day!

I don't belong to a gym, but I love to see people out on the sidewalks, running or walking or whatever, regardless of their size. They are OUT there, DOING it, and not worrying about what people are thinking. I totally admire that, too! I want to honk at them as I drive by and say "way to go" but they might get scared, LOL.

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LYNNANN56 8/23/2011 11:14AM

    I teach a rusty hinges water class and have 3 women who have had gastric bypass, all three have come so far, and I have never been afraid to tell them that they are MY role models..and I really mean it. Their commitment shines brighter than mine and they are the conquerors, the champions of this fight! Sounds like this lady (and you for that matter) ROCK your world with motivation and you both deserve to be complimented!I wouldn't trade having the opportunity to know people like this for anything in the world...you should approach her.

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NATE-JANINE 8/23/2011 10:48AM

    Yes definitely tell her. I know I would want to hear it. And I don't take compliments easily so when they are really sincere they mean more.

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BUTRFLY_FREEDOM 8/23/2011 10:19AM

    Love this blog!

You should tell her! As someone who has been overweight all my life, and lacked encouragement for most of it, I just want to say that having someone I don't know, tell me the thing you think about this girl... well.... that would probably mean more to me than reaching my goal weight. I'm completely serious. That comment would probably do more for her than you could ever imagine!

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SUNSHINENHOPE 8/23/2011 10:02AM

    I like what Jenn26 had to say. The last time someone approached me at the gym to tell me how inspired they were by watching me workout, I was absolutely offended. Maybe it was her approach. IDK BUt like you I am also motivated by watching dedication and drive. At any rate, please let us know how what happens and whether you decide to talk to her or not.

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DEE0973 8/23/2011 9:46AM

    I think you should say somthing to her, and I bet you would make her day. Its awesome when we can admire each other's efforts. Have a blessed day my friend

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CRAVINSUCCESS 8/23/2011 9:28AM

  Two women approached me at the Gym about a week ago and told me that they admired me. Like this woman in your post I have nearly 170lbs to lose. I was very touched by their sincerity. Their comments were very gracious and encouraging,I was not offended at all. I'm at a point where I just want to lose the weight. I don't think about what others may be saying. I just trust God that this is my time to get back into the business of living the abundant life (again).

I enjoyed your blog and I hope you will let this young woman know how you feel too! Be Blessed emoticon emoticonblog!

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SELENA552 8/23/2011 4:53AM

  Love this comment Jenn. I really think you should speak to this lady at the gym that you admire for her hard work and dedication to working out. I have made so many friends at my gym by just saying hello and the conversation usually just take off from there. You might even find out that you have a gym buddy that will give you some encouragement when you may not feel like taking that final walk on the treadmill. I don't like working out but when I talk to others at the gym, I find that they also don't like it either but we always leave the gym asking each other, "you coming to class tommorow or I'll see you at the next class. That's usually a motivator for me since I go to the gym for the aerobic classes. I lost 13 pounds within 2 months with a proper diet and lots of aerobic classes. Good luck with loosing weight and let me know how it turns out if you do decide to speak to the lady at your gym.

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MISSLISA1973 8/23/2011 1:48AM

    You're emoticon. And I love the bee's knees comment! emoticon I may have to use that one at work tomorrow!

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FITCOUGARMOM 8/22/2011 11:14PM

    OMG U made me cry!! I would tell her because everyone could use a kind word and hearing that would make her more determined 2 do it!! U never know she could b a workout buddy!! emoticon

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MONICAJEAN68 8/22/2011 6:36PM

    Great story,you can tell her...i bet it will make her day..i dont get to go to the gym much..i live 40 miles out of the major city,so i have the privacy of my home..but im sure id feel unfit if i did go to the gym.or in other words the fat chick at t he gym!Keep on truckin you can do it! emoticon

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K1TT3N 8/22/2011 5:28PM

    This is a great blog thanks for sharing ....... i work out at home .... hubby and i work out together and we walk with the kids ... but i am afraid to go to a gym and work out cause every time i have been to them they have been full of thin and muscle types and it makes me feel worse then being fat ... so thanks for Sharing

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SAMI199 8/22/2011 4:08PM

    I know I would love to hear what you think....

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SPARETIRE2011 8/22/2011 3:52PM

    Great blog and how great would it be for her to hear you say I admire you.......

ST2011

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JENN26POINT2 8/22/2011 2:46PM

    Or, print this blog and hand it to her before you leave some day. Then you don't have to scare her by talking to her, embarrass yourself by gushing, but you still let her know how you feel. Or leave it with the front desk staff and ask them to give it to her on her way out so you remain anonymous. I believe knowing what you said to us about her will boost her self-esteem and self-worth in more ways than any of us could comprehend. :)

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JENN26POINT2 8/22/2011 2:44PM

    Maybe if you bump into her her in the locker room you can simply say hi and that you admire what she's doing and the ferosity she's doing it with. Simple as that. You could make a friend for life.

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IMADOTCOMDIVA 8/22/2011 2:43PM

    My inspiration came from a similar observation. My friend, although very over weight, works out faithfully. She also dresses and grooms herself meticulously. Because of her, I logged on to the computer and googled "fitness" and stumbled upon Spark People.

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LATINBEAU 8/22/2011 2:22PM

    First time reading your blog and I am a fan in a "you're totally awesome" kind of way!

I understand about not wanting to tell her, because I am a bit shy in person as well. But if I were her and read this blog, it would probably be a "once in a lifetime" moment...right?

Keep up the good work!



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CHRISTYRH 8/22/2011 2:06PM

    I think you should just go over to her and say you think she is awesome because one day might come when she thinks no one cares or even notices her hard work. When that day comes your voice is gonna pop into her head giving her that extra push she needs. We all want to be noticed for our hard work! It might do you both some good!

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THEIS58 8/22/2011 6:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JC5282011 8/21/2011 10:15PM

    I think this is wonderful... I weigh 196 and I feel like the bit fat chick at the gym, and it prevents me from working out as much as I should.. bc I feel like I have to be skiiny to go to the gym.. Stupid I know.. How do you get over this and just jump in?

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MIRACLELOVE77 8/21/2011 7:12PM

    great blog! one day you should tell her what an inspiration she is! or at least give her an encouraging smile :) she's pretty awesome.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

How I Royally Screwed Up My Workout

Monday, August 15, 2011

I had a plan. All of my horror stories start that way, with a plan. What's that saying about men plan and God laughs? Like that, that's how my plans go. Badly. Yet still I persist in the planning. Silly Jenn.

Today I had a plan. I was going to do my C25K, then I was going to do strength training class, and then I was going to swim so I wouldn't be sore tomorrow.

I arrive at the gym. Oops, forgot swim suit. Never fear, I can still C25K right? Nope, because I cut my time too short before weight class, so I will just warm up on the treadmill and call it good. I was making a sincere attempt at being the very soul of exercise flexibility, which, if you know me at all, is NOT like me. I'm kind of Type A on very, very rare occasions. :/

So, .75 miles as a warm up, nice and brisk, and off I go to weight class. Except it is ending. I can't read my calendar on my phone, apparently, because class started at 6pm, not 7pm. Again, I am determined to override my all or nothing usual self (which would have gotten in the car and gone home at this point 3 months ago) and I'm going to get some sort of workout if it kills me.

So I got back on the treadmill.

I didn't give up because my plan was FUBAR (incidentally, FUBAR is one of my three favorite words that used to be acronyms, including SNAFU and another word that starts with F and ends with CK that I'm not allowed to use here.)

I digress, as usual. Anyway...

It took 18 weeks.
Almost 100 miles on the treadmill.
1/3 of a year.
120 Days... whatever you prefer.
It doesn't matter how long, just know that it took a lot of freaking hard work.


But I did it. I finally reached my "4 miles per hour for an hour" goal. Four 15 minute miles back to back. Actually, I was slower the first half and did the back half faster, because I was determined to finally smash that goal. Whodathunkit?

All or nothing thinking and I would have been in the car and back at home after merely warming up. Progress not perfection thinking means I finally met a goal that has been HUGE for me. A goal I have thought about every time I went for a walk or went to the gym.

I feel... I feel (searches for a word in her memory banks) I feel accomplished.

Now I know for some of you runners 4mph doesn't seem all that fast, but one day the goal I reach will be 6 or 7 mph, and that will be freaking fantastic and fast.

Now I have to come up with a new goal!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


What's your newest goal?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENN26POINT2 8/22/2011 2:40PM

    Great job! You did great. At first I thought you WALKED 4 miles in 4 hours, in which case I was supremely impressed b/c walking that fast gives me shin splints. Great job on running that distance! 4 miles is nothing to scoff at, whether walking or running. Keep it up!!

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1DORENDA 8/22/2011 11:21AM

    Loved the post - you should be a writer maybe? I understand fully trying to reach the next level. Way to go...

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PRINCESS_PIA 8/21/2011 3:23PM

    Amazing!!!! Congratulations

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LAKEGAL81 8/20/2011 10:39PM

    emoticon

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 8/19/2011 9:17PM

    Awesome!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LADYSWISH 8/19/2011 6:50PM

    You go girl!

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BROOKELORREN 8/19/2011 5:45PM

    Congratulations! If you didn't have a plan in the first place, you might have stayed at home, so it was great that you had a plan, even if they had to change.

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EMMAH14 8/19/2011 4:16PM

  emoticon emoticon

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DANIELLV 8/19/2011 1:29PM

  My newest goal is too do my rehabilitation exercises regularly so my back never prolapses and slips again! :)

Thanks for a motivating blog. :)

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CAVEMOM 8/19/2011 12:48PM

    emoticon That is awesome! emoticon

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BLACKJACK67 8/19/2011 12:47PM

    emoticon

emoticon

CONGRATS!

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MARTY728 8/19/2011 11:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DUCHESS1969 8/19/2011 11:07AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LORISEVERANCE 8/19/2011 11:02AM

    Yeah for you!! Great job! emoticon emoticon

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BUFFALOGAL1952 8/19/2011 10:00AM

    Great Job! Perserverence is a quality any person dealing with weight loss should adopt! You hung in there and did what you had to to "get 'er done!" EXCELLENT!

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SADDYSPOT 8/19/2011 9:06AM

    Great job! My newest goal is to run a 28 min 5K at the end of next month, knowing that there will be hills. 28 min isn't really fast, but it's fast for me ;) Hopefully, someday I'll lower that number even further. I'm currently a 31 min 5K, so I'm going to have to push myself, but I think I can do it.

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EBM1284 8/19/2011 1:22AM

    i got stuck in a downpour a couple months ago on my way to the gym (i was walking to the bus stop). it was one of those rains where you just stop running from it because you realize you're already as wet as youre gonna get. when i finally made it to the gym, i decided that i should get credit for double the calories burned that day. so...i hereby award you the same honor :) way to go! i want to try the 4 miles in 1 hour thing now!

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CAROLINA_KOUKLA 8/19/2011 12:32AM

  emoticon

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YIWEN39 8/18/2011 10:32PM

    Great! emoticon

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NANASAMM 8/18/2011 10:01PM

    Woo hoo for "accomplishing" your goal. And your plan? Kinda sounds like a series of unfortunate events. And good for you for sticking with your plan of getting some kind of exercise and NOT giving up and going home. emoticon

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TAKINBACKMYBODY 8/18/2011 9:19PM

    emoticon

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WCALDER 8/18/2011 9:15PM

    Awesome work! KEEP IT UP!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENNIFER_67 8/18/2011 9:08PM

    emoticon

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BRAVERUDE 8/18/2011 6:36PM

    Well done, you!!! emoticon

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BEAKIEBEAN 8/18/2011 2:19PM

  Sounds like you took a Fubar moment and unFubared it. I think that you totally get extra points for that. :-)

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SHERRY28269 8/18/2011 10:23AM

    Great reminder that slow and steady with goals along the way helps keep you motivated and succeed in the long term! emoticon

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LUV2RUN72 8/18/2011 9:16AM

    Way to Go. Learning to be "flexible" is not easy and 15 min miles are something to be proud of! There is an indoor track at my local Rec Center that many senior citizens like to use, and it used to be that most of them would pass me by when I was walking! emoticon emoticon

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CRACKERJACK2825 8/18/2011 8:10AM

    My goal is to make it through today!! :) I have a lot to do and less time to do it in, so maybe the walking I'll do can count as exercise. :)

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THISYEARSMODEL 8/18/2011 5:23AM

    Congrats!

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WISTERIALODGE 8/18/2011 2:49AM

  Good work!

As for the next goal, choose something that would impress you!

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WISTERIALODGE 8/18/2011 2:28AM

  Good work!

As for the next goal, choose something that would impress you!

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DWILCZKO 8/18/2011 12:23AM

  goals are awesome!

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CHRIAMARIA1983 8/17/2011 11:32PM

    100 real push ups.I did 25 real, 50 girly ones, and 25 wall push ups yesterday. My arms, back, and side are killing me! Good job on our 4 miles in an hour! I love the treadmill! I remember getting up to 4 miles when I had more access to one but never for more than 3 minutes at a time. If I ever get a treadmill I am going to do C25K! You are an inspration!

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LROSEEN 8/17/2011 11:06PM

    Well done! I'm with goin' for great, though: I wanna know about that 3rd acronym. emoticon

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KELLEY106 8/17/2011 11:01PM

    great story and facts. thanks for sharing

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GOIN4GR8 8/17/2011 10:24PM

    Sorry to be off point, but I have to ask: What did F*CK used to stand for? I only know SCUBA is Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. :-)

Oh, and being a programmer, I am VERY familiar with what FUBAR stands for! emoticon

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DRUIDPRINCESS 8/17/2011 9:52PM

    Wow! I loved reading your blog, as it sounds so much like the challenges I've been facing, the difference being that you perservered, while I went home and sulked. You have set me a new goal : when things don't go according to plan, think "This is an excellent opportunity to try something new!". Thank you for sharing your story, and best wishes in the future.

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ERINMARIE424 8/17/2011 9:03PM

    good job sticking with it and thanks for another amusing blog! emoticon

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NICCIJOE 8/17/2011 8:42PM

    Thank you for posting this..sounds like me! I need a new goal to get started and stick with it, not stop because the phone rings or the TV is calling me or the excuse "im tired from work"..again, you are inspirational and I thank you!

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BARBIE779 8/17/2011 8:13PM

    Congratulations on meeting your goal.

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CLAVINOVA 8/17/2011 7:54PM

    Congrats on the 4 miles per hour goal and for sticking with it even though so many other things went wrong before that! Keep up the strong motivation and you'll be at your goals in no time!! Have a super week!

Comment edited on: 8/17/2011 8:05:25 PM

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TERRIPAL1 8/17/2011 6:26PM

    Congrats! Keep it up ! emoticon

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50PLUSBABY 8/17/2011 6:00PM

  I think I am walking fast but people just pass me by like I am not doing anything. 4mph is a very big accomplishment, thats what persistance does. One of these days I will get there. congrats.

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 8/17/2011 4:23PM

    Four miles per hour is incredible. I try and try to smash that 15 min. barrier when I walk. When you walk at home with Leslie Sansone, she says you go a mile in 15 minutes, but when I'm out actually walking, my pedometer and my son's iPhone says differently. Last night we went 2.5 miles in 45 minutes, what is that--18 minute miles? I'll get there, but sometimes I think if I walk any faster, I will trip over my own feet.

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CHANGINGSAM 8/17/2011 3:40PM

    emoticon

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WINELADY01 8/17/2011 1:25PM

    Good for you! Yay! I know how hard that is to do, I've done 2mi in 33 min but I wouldn't have been able to keep it up for another 2mi - not yet, anyway. I'm coming off an ankle injury, so right now my goal is to walk for 30-40 mins at whatever pace is comfortable and doesn't re-injure my ankle!

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TYKXBOY 8/17/2011 1:18PM

    F... CK... Firetruck?
emoticon

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TAURUSGIRL3 8/17/2011 12:50PM

  Yeah!! Way to stick with it!

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FLATLANDER21 8/17/2011 12:43PM

  emoticon

No victory is small !

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KKINNEA 8/17/2011 12:23PM

    Newest goal is to try to complete a 10 mile tempo run at a 9:30 mins/mi pace - would much rather be at 12 mins/mi!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

The Gross, The Tasty and Training

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Dear Self,

After having only a tiny smattering of dairy for the last 17 weeks your body has changed. Having a steamed milk with vanilla syrup last night, no matter how low in fat, was a very bad idea.

You have a textbook case of lactose intolerance. The nausea, gas, and other symptoms not to be mentioned in polite company are the proof. Please do not have another glass of milk unless you enjoy saying things like, "Is it wrong to pray to barf?" and "milk is the devil's brew," and "I better take the Kindle or a magazine to the bathroom with me this time."

Sorry, Sweetpea, but avoiding dairy is no longer a weight loss and health strategy, it's an anti-barfville reality of life. Yes, you can mourn brie, bleu cheese, heavy whipping cream and cream cheese, but please don't embarrass yourself at the fondue restaurant with your sniveling.

Sincerely,

Your Gut


In better news, my Mom was in town this weekend and I didn't go to Cheesecake Factory. Saturday I was off plan (baby shower) but not off the rails. Yippee! On Friday we had dinner at this local vegan joint (a chain) called The Loving Hut. lovinghut.us/ Very yummy. I had pepper steak and if was fully orgamalicious.

Tomorrow, I am recommitting to exercise and counting every morsel. I have been sucktacularly pathetic on the exercise front. Time to get back at it and keep moving forward on my C25K. I'm utterly flabbergasted that I've been able to get to Week 5, doing Run 5 walk 3 Run 5 walk 3 Run 5 successfully. If you had told me: a) what I weigh today b) what I can do for exercise today and c) how I feel way back in March, I would have thought you were a) a compulsive liar or b) making fun of me.

Anyway, C25K... I'm making progress, taking longer than prescribed but I'm ok with that, but here's the thing, the next day following 5,3,5,3,5 is supposed to be run 8 walk 5 run 8 and the next day after that is supposed to be run 20. Uhm, have they lost their freaking minds? That seems a bit steep in the way of increasing run time.

Is the intention to have me start to pass out on the treadmill, stumble and get flung to the floor by the treadmill belt? Is the idea to see if anyone who goes to my gym is able or willing to perform CPR on me? That's what it sounds like to me. My goal is to improve, not to perish.

I am going to repeat W5D1 (5,3,5,3,5), do a strength class, then I'm going to go for a nice, relaxing, slow swim. It will be fabulous.

Random factoid: I swim the same day as a tough workout and it works extremely well as a soreness prevention.

If you were wondering, I come by personality genetically. Here is my grandmother at the bridal shower:



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISANANTAIS1970 8/29/2011 10:29PM

    I would rather birth a large child naturally than ever eat dairy without the aid of my lactose pills again....

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MIRDREAMS 8/24/2011 10:03PM

    This is a weird fact but I find that if I drink a glass of Lactaid or other lactase added milk it does more to keep my intolerant GI tract happy for the day than taking the stupid pills does. I know that the lactase enzyme is a catalyst that isn't consumed in the conversion that rids us of the dreaded lactose and I think it's just easier for it to work in liquid rather than pill form. At least that's what I've found. But then my side effects from lactose don't include puking (everything but that) so perhaps I'm a bit more willing to experiment.

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CHUBBY_BUNNY36 8/24/2011 3:48PM

    I love Grandma! My favorite "granny" I assist at work just turned 95 and got her first tattoo! I want to be a cool granny like that some day. Just an FYI, where do I find the training plan for the C25k?? I can't seem to find it anywhere.

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SHANNONINAZ 8/23/2011 3:18PM

    emoticon

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JENN26POINT2 8/22/2011 2:37PM

    Love the letter from your gut... unfortunately, there is milk in soooo many things that it's hard to avoid it all together. That's why I gave up and reintroduced it. It was entirely too hard to avoid it. Good luck!

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THEIS58 8/19/2011 5:03AM

    Love it! emoticon

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LIZZY2380 8/19/2011 12:31AM

    I ran the 20 minutes at 265 lbs... Yeah, that's a challenge! :) Keep up the good work!

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SHARBEAR100 8/18/2011 6:56PM

    Love the picture of your grandmother! emoticon

Good luck with your C25K program. It looked like it progressed way too fast for me, so I took it at my own pace. I recently took a look at the program again to see if I should do it now, and realized that I'm way beyond what the program achieves. Continue at your own pace and you'll do great.
emoticon

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ERINTHEROCKSTAR 8/18/2011 3:19PM

    Hey - great blog!! I felt the same way about the jump from 8 min of running to 20 - I was like Uh heelllooo forgot a couple of numbers in between there no? But I tried it and was totally able to do it and then felt so freakin good after - like I could do anything in the world - totally the best feeling ever!!! I totally be bet you can do it too!!!! Good Luck!!

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 8/18/2011 10:41AM

    Your grandma looks like a lot of fun!! GO GRANNY GO!! I think of both my grandmas so fondly, but their memory is getting faded, since they both died in 1968. I hope I can be as big of an influence on my grandkids as they were on me. LOVED those ladies!!

I know what you mean about the digestive system. When I was fat, I was in the bathroom constantly, simply because I ate too much, and it was not healthy stuff either! Lots of fatty, greasy, oily foods that have THAT affect on you. So now, things are much calmer in that area. Although I have noticed bing cherries do a number on me. Even though I love them, I have been trying to lay off of them lately. That makes me sad, because they are only around a short time in the summer and super expensive when they are in the stores. Oh well--I'll stick to those seasonal peaches and tomatoes, they're much nicer to my digestive system!

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CHRISTINCOTA86 8/18/2011 7:30AM

    Am I the only confused by the fact that you had pepper STEAK at a vegan joint... jus' saying. lol.

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LIZZI619 8/17/2011 7:33AM

    I did the c25k, You will be surprised at what you can do! The calendar works! You also will have run 3/4 mile / walked 1/2 / run 3/4 the time before the 20 minute run, so you are almost there. If you need to run 1 mile, walk 1/4 and then run 1 more mile.

I say sign up for a 5k at the end of sept...you will never regret crossing that finish line and you will finish the training program , so you are prepared for the run. Good luck. Love your blogs!



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SHEL1181 8/15/2011 9:25PM

    Sorry about the dairy situation emoticon
I love the picture of your grandma!!!! That's awesome!!!!
20 huh? That seems like a ginormous jump.......You could always try and see how far you can go but boy, I think I'd pass out too!

Comment edited on: 8/15/2011 9:27:10 PM

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KKINNEA 8/15/2011 5:37PM

    Hilarious, I can see that personality in your g-ma's picture!

I think you're doing a smart thing with your running. The goal is to run as well as you can. If you need to repeat a week a couple of times, who cares! You will get to the next level and keep improving.

Sad about the dairy but it's better than having stomach issues!

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SNOOKUMS19 8/15/2011 3:45PM

    Love your grandma! Ahhhh the life with lactose intolerance. Some tips... Cabot has 75% lowfat cheddar cheese with no lactose! Also I've found eating greek yogurt helps with putting good bacteria in my gut which actually helps. Activia yogurt also does a good job with this. If you do add the activia you will need to keep it in your daily intake because your belly is not happy if you take those good bacteria away when it gets used to it. Also, Lactaid makes lowfat cottage cheese that has no lactose. Good ways of getting your calcium intake without killing yourself :).

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WILDFLOWERMA 8/15/2011 3:05PM

    Ooh that dairy situation sounds unpleasant to be sure! Hope the err symptoms resolve quickly. Grandma is a hoot! I bet you two have a ball together.

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KIKI0531 8/15/2011 2:34PM

    So need to get back on the exercise wheel as well !! So frustrating. We need to get our rears in gear !!

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MINERVASPARKING 8/15/2011 1:47PM

    I'm discovering I have the same problem with ice cream! So far I'm ok with the little bit of FF milk in my decaf in the morning, and I'm ok with up to 1 oz of cheese on occasion (cooked in something or sprinkled on;) But ICE CREAM. ugh. bad news. I'm wondering if it's the combo of the milk AND sugar. dunno, don't care, I've never really been "in love" with the stuff anyway. My DH is. He has it around ALL THE TIME. SO I thought, "eh, one tiny scoop isn't going to kill me". humph, I beg to differ!!! :D Just going to give it up. Thanks for the post, glad I'm not the only one! :D AND That is a fantastic pic of your grandma! :D Love it!

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/15/2011 1:24PM

    Great picture of your grandma :)..she must be fun to be around! emoticon

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AUNTKITTY 8/15/2011 1:12PM

    I had the exact same thought about that 20 minute run . . . but guess what - I DID IT (back in February or so). Go off track a bit, haven't been following the program for many weeks due to injury. But you CAN do the 20 minutes -- just set out a little slower than the other runs.

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CBAILEYC 8/15/2011 1:00PM

    I like to think of C25K as guidelines rather than rules. You do what you feel you can/should/want, at the pace you can/should want, and to h*ll with the rest! No one's going to report you to the C25K tribunal (at least that I know of, I've gotten away with it thus far!)

Keep on rockin' it, chickadee! You're doing fabulous!
emoticon emoticon
And Grandma? I'd adopt her in a heartbeat LOL Love her!
C~

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SWEETP84 8/15/2011 11:30AM

    i do the same thing with meat. I have been eating tiny bits of natural cheese in the last while - but no meat. ANd went to dinner last night and had a small piece of chicken. Hello - unccomfortable. Congrats on beating the cheesecake factory urge. I love your writing it's wonderful! emoticon

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CINNAMONCAT9 8/15/2011 11:04AM

    BIG congratulations on avoiding Cheesecake Factory! omg, that place is too good. I have to add that it's my "place" with my dad, when we have a very special occasion. Last time we were there, he had a terrible diabetic episode for the following 12 hours. He and I both learned a lesson. He ate too much bread, then had fish tacos. I'm sure he just completely OD'd on carbs....Next time, he will do better. My choice was pretty good: iced tea, and a Caesar salad with no croutons, and dressing on the side. Still and yet, it's just too tempting there...

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YINETTV 8/15/2011 10:40AM

  emoticon

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 8/15/2011 10:18AM

    Awesome pic of your grandma!

Can you take lactaid or something like it, to help with the dairy?

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CHANGINGSAM 8/15/2011 10:08AM

    Love the picture of Grandma! Hahaha.

emoticon on the progress you've made with C25K! Love it! Keep up the amazing work!

P.S. Thanks for the tip about swimming after strength training! I must try it!

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STELLAR-LIGHTS 8/15/2011 10:01AM

    I have a friend who can tolerate goat or sheep's milk and cheeses but not cow's. Have you experimented at all? Though it may not be worth it. . . especially since there are so many great vegan substitutes available now. Just figured I'd put it out there.

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BLUEROSE73 8/15/2011 9:56AM

  emoticon Love the pic of grandma.

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JENVAMPVEGAS 8/15/2011 9:14AM

    emoticon

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/15/2011 8:27AM

    I love you Gram! The best!!! Child please you will prevail and not become the mills next victim! Rock the run sista! emoticon

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JLITT62 8/15/2011 5:37AM

    When I finished C25K, I couldn't run 5k in the prescribed time. Several 5ks & a 10k later . . . it's ok to take your time with it. You'll get there.

Did you know cheesecake factory actually has some lower calorie options now? I saw it on tv anyway, no personal knowledge.

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SLANDISSTEWARD 8/15/2011 4:29AM

    Something is so wrong about vegan pepper steak. Can't quite put my finger on it though.

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KARMA70 8/15/2011 1:59AM

    Love your Granny!

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MOSTMOM1 8/14/2011 11:29PM

    I think you should take your grandma kickboxing.
emoticon

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SUNSHINE192DAY 8/14/2011 11:18PM

    I too got my personality from my grandmother! hehe I love her! I had fits of laughter picturing the treadmill body slamming you. Not because I enjoy the idea of your pain, but because I think the last time I used mine it was plotting the same revenge... emoticon

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HUSKERSALAD 8/14/2011 10:32PM

    My plan has cheat day once a week and I found I couldn't handle much dairy either. Greek yogurt and cottage cheese don't bother me but any kind of latte other than soy was bad news.

So it's almond milk on cheat day if I'm eating cereal or soymilk in a latte.

I've started toting Lactaid around in purse just in case.

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LISADAVIDSON68 8/14/2011 9:52PM

    Its all about getting back on that wagon!! And I love the pic of your grandmother!
emoticon

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TALLGUY42 8/14/2011 9:21PM

    Your Grandma looks like a card! I can certainly see where your sense of humor comes from.

Your blogs continually make me laugh out loud. Serious issues, at times, but delivered in a manner of hilarity.
emoticon

Don't worry about the run 20. Increase at your own pace. Just knock off the "sucktacular" and get moving!

Your rock, Jenn!

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CHAR1970 8/14/2011 9:09PM

    You should write a book titled "A Dictionary According to Jenn". I love your word play. Good on you for getting back to it. Your Grandma looks like a lot of fun!

Comment edited on: 8/14/2011 9:19:19 PM

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MELLYBEANS0919 8/14/2011 8:59PM

    Wanted to say I am lactose intolerant too, but take enzyme pills to counteract it and I have no problems if I take one or two before I eat. Maybe you can do that too if you do not want to give it up completely?
Your Grandma is too cute.
You are doing wonderful with the C25K!

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LOSINITBY30 8/14/2011 8:50PM

    hahah...i love you g'ma already!

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AUNTC321 8/14/2011 8:48PM

    I have been working to eliminate dairy (my favorite thing is cheese) from my diet. At this point just cutting back but soon it will be gone and hopefully my gut will like me better too.

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ROBYNLN 8/14/2011 8:44PM

    Your grandman looks like a jewel. Treasure her. I miss mine.

I'm doing the C25K as well, but when I noticed the week you are talking about, I decided to make my own schedule. LOL I took all the workouts and am doing them in order of increasing intensity. Right now I'm working on Run 8, Walk 5, Run 8. I never thought I could run for 5 min, let alone 8!

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KATBYRNE 8/14/2011 7:40PM

    Your word-smithing amuses me. I think we should petition to put "sucktacularly pathetic" in Wikipedia! :) Congrats on the 5k progress!

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FARAWAY01 8/14/2011 6:54PM

    I looked at the C25K schedule and found it daunting so I'm starting with the SP 5K run/jog program. I'm sure you'll be able to do it eventually - it just takes persistence!

I haven't been eating any dairy except a bit of feta cheese on my salads and I'm afraid I'll become lactose intolerant, too. It's just not fair! But right now it works as I don't want the extra calories anyway.

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SARAHMAC1978 8/14/2011 6:30PM

    I personally had trouble with C25K at this week. Not to be a downer, but I couldn't get past the 20 minute run... What I did learn, though, is that I did rock out interval runs, which is why I switched over to the Jeff Galloway method.

If you get to the continuous runs and you find yourself wanting to shoot yourself during them like I did, consider JG method instead. There's a great group here on SP for it.

Good luck, though, either way! emoticon

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JSPEED4 8/14/2011 6:02PM

    emoticon

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WILDFLOWER79 8/14/2011 5:58PM

    Make yourself a lanyard and hang a facemask on it so people won't be afraid of doing cpr! JK, you can do it, sounds like you are on the right track. Don't forget, there are defibulators at every gym - you're all good girl!

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ASMITH3B 8/14/2011 5:55PM

    The 20 minute run at the end of week 5 may be easier than you think. I know that I was dreading it, but then it ended up being a lot easier than I had expected. Take your time, you can do it!


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CREATING_SARAH 8/14/2011 5:33PM

    I am right there with you on the dairy. I have SEVERELY reduced my dairy intake to really only a bit of cream cheese in the morning on my bagel so my body has been rejecting anything more than that. I had a iced chai latte today so I REALLY know where you're coming from lol

With the C25K, I think you are doing great! And I also agree some of the others on here saying you don't have run fast when you run the long stretches. Take your time and do what you gotta do cause it's a marathon not a sprint when it comes to becoming a runner (Pun intended emoticon)

Congrats on doing soooooo well and getting back on track!!

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