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I Say We Do It. What Say You About a Mega Awesome Meet Your SparkPeeps?

Saturday, June 04, 2011

So did anyone see the Spark Daily Blog thingie today? It was all about how Indygirl (who is awesome) did an officially unofficial overnight meetup for Sparkies in Cincy with hotel rooms and such. She is also planning another one in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Spark Guy even donated some signed books.

Which leads me to say this: we need to do this cruise thing. For really reals. Cincinnati and Fort Wayne are lovely cities, but I think we could select some place equally lovely, say, Grand Cayman or Cozumel.

What shall we call our Not-quite-Official-Spark-Cruise? This is very important. I'm not sure why, but it just is. Names are important, remember he-who-must-not-be-named? Errr, bad example.

Discuss amongst yourselves, since I will be AFK, out of the country, "doing cruise research", or whatever you want to call it (I call it happy happy joy joy). I'm partial to made up words, but that's just me, besides, I'm an overgrown child and should be treated accordingly.

What kind of things should be part of the adventure? Should exercise classes be part of the package? Do you expect a t-shirt? Do you want it to be a normal cruise, you just happen to be doing it with Sparkelinas? Do you even care as long as you get to go on a cruise, drink pina coladas and get caught in the rain?

IMHO, we should at least have shirts, (I won't even do a 5k if there is no tshirt, you should hear me bitch and moan about 5ks with the audacity to not provide me with the free tshirt I paid for) and maybe silly decorations on our doors that indicate that we are, in fact, filled with Sparkliciousness.

What do you think? What would make the cruise extra Sparky for you? Do you want a cruise that is with Sparkies, or do you want a "Spark Cruise"?

My Spark withdrawal will begin in about 16 hours when I board the Carnival Valor, until then I can check in, obsessively, between flights and all that fun stuff. Have a wonderful week! :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Can we all talk like pirates?! If so, I'm on-board! Urrrrrr, I mean, count me in!

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WHOLENEWME79 6/17/2011 1:22PM

    If you're serious about this, contact some of the cruise lines and tell them the plan and the approximate number of people who go- They can probably work out a nice group rate if you can promise to book 10 or 15 rooms. Also, this is something that someone would need to start working on NOW to take the cruise at this time next year, just FYI. People need lots of time to prep and it will take some foot work to plan a nice cruise at a decent price.

I would be on board, provided I have plenty of time to ask off at work and it won't interfere with my school schedule.

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DLSMITH411 6/16/2011 9:33AM

    Sounds awesome! The Biggest Loser is doing a cruise in November - I believe it is a regular cruise but there are organized activities throughout... though I could be wrong and it could be an all exercise cruise, who knows. Either way, I would be all in if I can afford it! I wouldn't even know how to set up a Spark Cruise (as opposed to a cruise where other Sparkers happen to be) but I think that would be pretty cool. All the free food and alcohol on a cruise can be very detrimental to a healthy mindset. If there was a way to create a Spark Cruise I think it would be better overall.

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COLEOPTERRA 6/15/2011 3:43PM

    I've never been on a cruise and wouldn't this be the best group to start with...I love it!

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PHOTOKISSA78 6/14/2011 11:02AM

    I love this idea! And, yes, t-shirts are required:)

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JMARISK 6/14/2011 9:01AM

    Ummm, Yes Please!

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FITAT50 6/13/2011 3:20PM

    Awesome idea!

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KRODRIGUE 6/13/2011 3:15PM

    I think that is an amazing idea! If there was a Spark cruise, I would go!

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MOPPET_REDUX 6/13/2011 10:43AM

    OMG i want to go on a cruise!! I think the constant free food might be detrimental to my progress though.....

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KLONG8 6/13/2011 10:34AM

    Why you little instigator you!

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REBEKAHJOHNSON 6/12/2011 11:15AM

    The only cruise I've ever been on was horrible for me because I get so very sea sick if the sea is rough at all so I will not be on board with this idea! I hope you guys have fun though.

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SHEFFIELD09 6/9/2011 2:34PM

    Love the Harry Potter reference! lol Have fun on your trip!

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MIMI_POPE 6/8/2011 2:38PM

    i'm so with your on the Tshirt idea, especially for 5Ks. How else are people supposed to know that I did this run? I need proof of purchase... i mean participation LOL

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    OMG This is a fatnastic idea! I've never been on a cruise, so this would be the first and it'd be mindblowingly awesome!!! :D Exercise classes and t-shirts (with the name we choose -I'd want Blondie not His_blondi on the shirt). ooo and adventures! OMG OMG OMG SO MUCH FUNNNNN

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LISADAVIDSON68 6/7/2011 6:08PM

    Love the idea and Tshirts are a must!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 6/7/2011 3:23PM

    Fo shizzy girl! I wont even run a 5K(10K minimum now for the pricey price) anymore! And no tee? The horror emoticon

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MELTING_MELIBU 6/7/2011 12:21PM


I would like a non-pink shirt though please! Names on the backs are a great idea! I also LOVE the food station idea ........

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NESSAM80 6/7/2011 9:38AM

    I definately cant say yes now but I love the idea, yes T-Shirts and with our names on the back sounds awesome from one of the comments!

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SUNSHINE192DAY 6/7/2011 3:37AM

    I'd love to go but I'm a poor person from Iowa... emoticonBut you all need to be really careful. Even though Sparkpeople is a great place there are probably still freaks here so just watch out for them! Love to you all! Oh, and I love the kid stuff in your posts because I too am an overgrown child and I get them all! hehe emoticon

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F1AMEDIVA 6/6/2011 11:02PM

    Count me in!!! So there......

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/6/2011 10:35PM


You are so cute.

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DONALOU42 6/6/2011 10:33PM

    Fabulous idea!!! Can my Tshirt be pink? Have a wonderful time on your cruise. The Valor has an excellent gym, and don't forget to pamper yourself with a massage! emoticon

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PETSHOPGIRL79 6/6/2011 4:14PM

    Great idea! One thing I think would be great on a Spark-cruise is different food stations (such as raw food, vegan food, etc.) set up so that people can learn about different types of preparing food and also eat lots of yummy healthy food!

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NESSA_79 6/6/2011 3:54PM

    Another idea added, let's have our Spark names on the back of the shirt.

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NESSA_79 6/6/2011 3:53PM

    I like DPIRIE's ideas about the cruise options. Shirts are a definite!Love the whole idea.

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OVERHAULING-ME 6/6/2011 3:23PM

    LOVE the idea! I think 2012 would be a great time so it would give us time to save! Love all the great ideas!

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    awesome idea, if i had time to save up some money what a great treat to myself that would be after putting in hard work and staying dedicated to living healthier, ... how exciting and i love sparkaliciousness, i am a big word maker upper too if ya know what i mean haha :D

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PGNBRI 6/6/2011 12:37PM

    I love the idea of a T-Shirt and door decorations. And I definitely think we should have Spark-Friendly food! (healthy, well-labeled, portioned, etc) And cooking classes would be awesome too! And, of course, fun exercise classes!

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LAURIE-RN 6/6/2011 10:38AM

    Awesome idea!


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DPIRIE 6/6/2011 8:44AM

    I would so be in! Someone here has got to be a travel agent. They could put forward a bunch of options then we could vote? Then say three cruises could be narrowed down based on the majority vote? I don't know if we would have enough people to take over a whole ship but wouldn't that be amazing!

My thoughts on options:

1) There must be childcare - private me time would be a must.
2) Group exercises
3) someplace warm
4) a stop with a beach that I can fall asleep on (see above for private me time)
5) NO deep fried fast food
6) Pre-portioned food (labels please)
7) Scales, measuring cups ect. For those like me who have that need.
8) Maybe some cooking classes?
9) Other classes on nutrition?


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E_WHITCOMB 6/6/2011 7:20AM

    I know a guy that makes awesome T-shirts for a good price. All we have to do is give him the pattern and select sizes and quantities.

Why don't we name the cruise "Super Sparkliciousness"? We can print it on the T-shirts and everything!

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GOLOPTIOUS 6/6/2011 1:48AM

    If I have time to save $$, I am totally in! And T-Shirts are a MUST!

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MONETRUBY 6/5/2011 10:50PM

    Probably not much chance of me having the money for this any time soon, but it does sound cool. No idea for a name, but I like the idea of a t-shirt!

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LEAHFELICITY 6/5/2011 10:26PM

    I'd love a Spark Cruise. We'd have to warn them in advance to stock up on healthy food.

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PANBOOKS 6/5/2011 9:58PM

    I saw the blog and I plan to attend the next rally. I am in for the cruise too. I'll be thinking of some names.

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SILENTE8 6/5/2011 9:52PM

  I could afford to go next summer, if there was a T-shirt, especially if it departed from the West coast so I wouldn't have to fly. I also want tacky door trinkets, a silly name, and I thought maybe a day trip including a zip line would be cool. So, sign me up!

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IMIN2GENES 6/5/2011 8:33PM

    I would absolutely love to do a fabulous Spark cruise! T-shirts and all... We should kick some ideas around. Washington DC area has a lot of day cruises as well. It would be nice to include as many Sparkers as possible.

Hope you have a most awesome, fantastic time on your cruise!

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CBAILEYC 6/5/2011 8:23PM

    Abso-freakin'-lutely I'd do a Spark Cruise with all the Spark goodness involved - including the tshirt, it IS a must.

Have a great time! We'll miss you 'til you're back!

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SHASSYSUE2 6/5/2011 8:23PM

    I am Blessed that my Hubby works for a Charter and Tour Company, and we get to go on a cruise once a year, but they do not come cheap. the only reason we can afford to go, is that he drives the Motor Coach, and goes on the cruise for free, because he is technically still working, and I get to go for half price!! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!!!! I would LOVE to get to meet my Sparkies in Person!!!

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DOGLADY13 6/5/2011 7:18PM

    We could do a Flat Broke Spark Cruise for those of us who have no money. Many cities near water have day cruises. I know New York City and Boston have them.

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EELS4PEELS 6/5/2011 6:47PM

    I'm all about a cruise! The one cruise I went on with my BF we got for $199 a person for 4 days. So you couldn't beat that! There are deals out there they you can look into. I second the t-shirts and door trinkets. The tackier the better!!! :)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/5/2011 4:50PM

    After reading some of these responses, I've come to the conclusion, that not only are we overweight, but broke as well, LOL! However, if I could afford to cruise, I would totally need a shirt... no shirt, no dice! But, exercise classes every day, perhaps a 5K on the boats track, a few healthy cooking classes, and a healthy "drink of the day" would be awesome! This would be such an amazing cruise!

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FITTINGIN130 6/5/2011 3:42PM

    The most I could afford would be a Spark Cruise Spark team with message boards... but this sounds like so much fun. I'll take a tshirt either way! ;)

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MYDG78 6/5/2011 2:59PM

    I think it's a great idea, but like everyone else, probably won't be able to attend because of financial restraints...still sounds like a great idea...def have t-shirts, and possibly tiaras? emoticon

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SEDONACAT 6/5/2011 1:43PM

    It sounds like so much fun but for many reasons, I couldn't go but I am not above living vicariously.


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BRDGT262 6/5/2011 1:14PM

    That sounds like a wonderful idea...unfortunately as others have stated, I couldn't afford to go! I'm lucky to have grocery money! Wish I could go though, that would be sooo much fun!!! :)

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HARLOW10 6/5/2011 11:35AM

    I think that would awesome. I would be unlikely to go because I can't afford it, but if it was made a yearly thing, then maybe I could another time. I think there should be places that people can exercise and lots of healthy food.

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SLIMLADYJ 6/5/2011 10:43AM

    I want to come!! I bet if we got a decent sized group we could get some good rates. And yes, tshirts and door decorations are a must along with exercise classes and healthy food :)

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ZOOKEEPERMAMA 6/5/2011 10:40AM

    I think a cruise would be awesome. I don't know if I can afford one... Would families come? I've never been on a cruise, so I can't say what should or shouldn't happen, but there should be some way to include Spark profiles. Like maybe we write our aliases on name tags or something. Otherwise how will we know when we've met THE Jenswims?! =)

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HIPPICHICK1 6/5/2011 10:07AM

    I'd be into a cruise if I win the lottery!

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I Went Shopping and Didn't Hate It. I Bought Things For Parts Other Than Feet

Friday, June 03, 2011

I went shopping for vacation clothes. You know how important it is to look good for 5,000 strangers, so clearly the acquisition of new clothes was a need and not a want. *eye roll*

Let's get a little background here. I am the girl:

1) Who was asked by her husband, "Jenn, please let me buy you some new clothes, you really need them." Folks, this is an extraordinarily bad sign. Really bad. I mean, my husband is, you know, male, so this is not good at all.

2) Who has twice a year shopping trips. One in the spring for the light weight cardigan sets and once in the fall for the winter weight sweater sets. Jenn, the library association called, the 80 year old librarians want their sweaters back right away.

3) Who coined the term "frumptacular."

4) Who would rather have teeth pulled followed by a trip to the OB GYN for a yearly exam than go shopping.

Needless to say, I don't like shopping for things that aren't meant to be on my feet. Not a fan. I feel Benadryl level itchy when I have to go shopping. Kind of hate it. I get really grumpy and short-tempered too. I do love me some socks. I have 25 pairs of Dr. Seuss socks. Really. I have some very well decorated feetuses. How many 38 year olds do you know with an assortment of Sesame Street socks?

Shopping hate be gone! Wonder Twin powers activate, shape of a power shopper!

First, I went to get the important (and my favorite) cute clothes for the cruise. I found 3 pairs of running shorts, 2 wicking shirts, some legging tight things to wear under my shorts cuz I'm still plenty fat enough to have MegaChafe, and two workout tank tops. I have to look good while I sweat on board! WOOT WOOT! I also got ten pairs of uber squishy socks. I heart squish.

My workout clothes are too big, which is really awesome, but also means I have a lot of expensive and really nice workout wear that I need to give away because it's no longer getting the job done. We should create a clothes swapping Spark Team. By "we" I mean someone else, because I don't know how and I am extraordinarily lazy.

Back to shopping. I acquired the best athletic apparel in the history of athletic apparel (pink shorts and green shorts and orange, oh my!), then I conquered the other stuff with my newly found clothing nerve. I bought a skirt. Honest. A real live skirt. Again, I feel the need to explain what a big deal this is.

Cheffrey and I got married 7.5 years after we first met (in 2006). My wedding was the second time he had ever seen me in a dress. My sister's wedding (the pink nightmare) was the 3rd. My other sister's wedding (the makeover of two weeks ago) was the fourth. He's never seen me in a skirt as far as I can remember.

I bought shirts. I bought tanks. I bought 2 shirts that are a little shiny and do not scream, "ignore me, pretend I don't exist." I bought non-frumpy shoes that were designed for women and match the shirts that are not frumpy. I bought shorts. I snuck some candles in there, cuz TJ Maxx will suck your money away like that, then bought another shirt.

Houston, I think we have a shopping problem:

It was fun! Yes, it is true, shopping for clothing not intended for my feet was fun. The aliens have not replaced my brain, I really mean it. I had a good time!

I hit a milestone:

I had to try everything on because what I thought I knew about my sizes clearly no longer applies.

Then I hit another milestone:

I purchased XL clothing. I haven't worn an XL anything in a decade. I also bought a couple of XXL, but I don't feel bad about it because many other XXLs were made for me to do laps in.


I'm still a little unsure about fit. After decades of frump and baggy, when things fit properly I always think I'm being turned into a human Snausage, so I take pics of things and send them to my arbiter of fashion (aka Mom) and make her tell me if I look like I'm a contender for best dressed hot dog, or actually look nice.

Of course, the photos that result from this exercise in de-frumpertization should be burned, but I will share one with you, and only you, because I know no one else reads this blog other than you and me.

I send pics of shoes too.

I also shopped by proxy for Cheffrey. I took photos, he approved via text. That was fun.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARHODEY307 6/19/2011 7:19PM

    I am fairly sure you and I shop the same way. Picture text messaging. Technology: it's a wonderful thing.

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23KAIYA 6/11/2011 7:03PM

    You are wonderful! LOL I have been sparred the dreaded shopping so far (after almost 75lbs lost!) because I was smaller. Much smaller. Size 0-2 in my early 20's. I have multiple wardrobes from that size up to 3X and as I'm dropping I just run to my storage unit and get the set down. So, not exactly stylish, but it's jeans, tees, work out stuff, and scrubs for work so who cares :D

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SOULOFADANCER 6/10/2011 9:56PM

    Great for you
YOu have a great sunny personality and are a naturally funny oerson
You and your shoes look fab
and by the way I have at least 10 pairs of novelty pompom type sox with everything from plastic pink butterflies on the trim to betty boop heads, so please a little respect for us fellow sockheads!!! emoticon

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HILLERYH 6/10/2011 3:54PM

    Glad you didn't hate shopping. Have fun on your cruise! Can't wait to hear about that!!

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MARGARITTM 6/10/2011 12:58PM

    What a great personality!

Love the concept - something other than my feet!


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BADTOFU 6/10/2011 12:54PM

    emoticonLove it!!

Im sure you'll have a wonderful trip in your new duds!! And those pink Chucks would look fierce with that skirt!

I used to love shopping, now not so much, but you've made me look forward to it again once I drop some poundage myself. Thank you!

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KATWOMAN234 6/10/2011 12:38PM

    Love the way you write!! Have a wondeful trip. Can't wait to hear about another shopping adventure!!

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    You are so funny! I SO share your aversion to shopping! I've finally graduated to a LARGE instead of XL or 2X, which I was used to for so many years. I even get mediums at Fashion Bug. Lately I've had a hard time looking at clothing and thinking it will really fit. I bought a pair of PJ's in a Large (12x14) and was convinced they would be tight but they were actually LOOSE! Isn't it awesome! Keep up what you're doing and you'll like shopping again - I promise. P.S. Love the skirt! :)

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DRLERO 6/10/2011 7:20AM

    You are very funny!

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JLEISING 6/10/2011 12:08AM

  I too hate shopping and have noticed that my clothes are getting alittle bigger which mean.............DDay!

Good Luck@

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JVERA5302 6/9/2011 11:20PM

    I totally hate shopping for myself. I usually go looking for clothes, try on a million things, none of which actually fit, and then buy 3 pairs of sweats. I've been able to cut tons of sweats into shorts this summer because I'm refusing to actually go buy shorts. I hate them. Anyway, I totally relate lol I can't wait to have fun shopping too!

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CAROLJ35 6/9/2011 5:54PM

    Love, love, love your blog!!! You are such a good writer! (I'm envious!)
I know what you mean - about the feet. My feet have always been the well-dressed part of my body - because they don't have that bulge in the middle that won't go away!
Have a wonderful vacation!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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QSULLIVAN 6/9/2011 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LAINYC 6/9/2011 4:50PM

    emoticonLoved your blog.

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50PLUSBABY 6/9/2011 4:02PM

  I do not like shopping too because I have to go to the plus size section and the clothes there are not all that, at times. I am waiting for a time I can go to a regular section.

Comment edited on: 6/9/2011 4:03:33 PM

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LIVIN2LOVE1 6/9/2011 3:15PM

    LOL Hilarious! I can really relate to your negative shopping attitude. My husband has told me more than once that if it looks like your grandma would wear it then I would wear it. I agree with you...that's not good. Shopping does get more fun on this journey, as I have recently discovered myself. I'm still not a try-er on-er, though. I have dressing room nightmares. emoticon

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    This is the cutest post - I know what you mean about only shopping for feet. My feet could compete in the best dressed feet competition any day..thanks for sharing! emoticon

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JJBSMOMMY 6/9/2011 12:04PM

    I really enjoy reading your blogs...This one made me laugh emoticon

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LUCKYONE60 6/9/2011 12:00PM

    It's a Girl! Yay! Congratulations.

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AEROGERS129 6/9/2011 11:51AM

    Loved this! You're hysterical and have a great attitude! Keep up all of your good work and congrats on becoming more comfortable with the beautiful person you are! :)

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ANTMELON 6/9/2011 9:41AM


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JLEMUS1 6/9/2011 9:35AM

    Awesome...way to shop!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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METOO03820 6/9/2011 8:59AM

    You rock and look amazing in the new outfit! Still love reading your blog and look forward to it every day! I too get hives anytime I have to do anything related to shopping. My man friend calls me a Kamikaze shopper, swoop in, get what I need before I crash and burn. LOL.. Have a great vaca!!!

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    Thanks so much for sharing this! You made me laugh, which was desperately needed as I'm feeling down today!

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LADYBUGG67 6/9/2011 8:10AM

    Your post was great! I hate shopping too! I love those pink converse sneakers. All of your hard work is paying look great! Have fun on your vacation!

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AMGM2001 6/9/2011 8:07AM


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GRAMMIEOFTWO 6/9/2011 8:00AM

  I love the sneaks. If someone told me to go shopping, there would be no stopping me now. 6 months ago I didn't care how I looked. Enjoy your cruise and your new clothes.

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KLS777 6/8/2011 11:42PM

    LOL! I hate shopping too! Congrats on the new smaller clothes!

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NELLBELLA26 6/8/2011 9:43PM

    Looking good!!!! Glad you enjoyed your shopping excursion. I love that skirt on you. You look fantastic. great color chucks, too. I love pink anything!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ITALIAGURL91 6/8/2011 8:31PM

    Congrats on ALL your accomplishments! I am so looking forward to going shopping in new sizes! (I still have a couple smaller ones in my closet that I can use until I really need to go!) Unlike you, I LOVE TO SHOP-just hate to clothes shop! When you hit your goal-you will probably love it too! I also LOVE your sense of humor at looking at things! Keep it up!

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MYTURN11 6/8/2011 5:32PM

    Congratulations on your much deserved shopping trip ~ that must have felt great. Love the pink shoes. When I started losing weight, I shopped for bright clothes ~ the brighter the better ~ before it was anything black. Happy for you ~ go you!

Isn't it a great feeling to incorporate running gear for vacations! Have a great time on your cruise!

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ALYMAYE 6/8/2011 5:29PM

    I am glad you enjoyed your shopping trip! Thank you for sharing, and enjoy your cruise!!

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KAITMEND 6/8/2011 4:02PM

    I think I literally buy a candle everytime i go to TJ Maxx or Marshals haha that made me smile

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JULIAAMILEE 6/8/2011 3:40PM

    HA! You are soooo fun! Enjoyed reading! Congrats on the downsize I recently downsized my self. Amazing going into a store to find somthing that fits, or having to chose another size down because you guessed to big.

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PROFKORI 6/8/2011 3:38PM

    I hate shopping too, at least for clothes for me. I feel bad when stuff doesn't fit, and I can't find a style that's me that my hubby likes too. (He thinks Ishould look sexy) emoticon
One of my goals is to no longer have xx's on my tags!

Comment edited on: 6/8/2011 3:40:18 PM

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DENISE19621 6/8/2011 3:33PM

    I luv it you look good i am just starting and hoping to be able to go as far as you have. emoticon

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HANNAHRN2012 6/8/2011 2:48PM

    I love it!! I love the way you write and express yourself!

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EARTHTONED84 6/8/2011 2:31PM

    Congratulations on your shopping spree!!!

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  Have thoroughly enjoyed reading this - you have a great sense of humour (I'm English, hence the funny spelling). Hope you have a great holiday.

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    Congrats on the new size clothes! I know how good that feels!

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JULIA1154 6/8/2011 1:46PM

  This was SO much fun - I'm going to keep it in mind for those days when I need a laugh. And I LOVED the image of you texting photos to your husband - that's inspired.

I hope you're enjoying every minute of your cruise. I picture you walking laps on the deck, checking out a yoga class, relaxing in the hot tub.....


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LUNADRAGON 6/8/2011 1:15PM

    I love your conversational way of sharing your story. Enjoy that cruise! You rock!

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MMHURLER 6/8/2011 10:20AM

  HAHA. I love it. We are going on Vacation in September and I keep dreading what I am going to wear, and hoping I can go shopping for a smaller size before I go.... Thanks for the little boost of motivation!! emoticon Enjoy your smaller clothes!!!

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WOLFSHADESS 6/8/2011 10:16AM

    Oh, I can't wait to enjoy shopping again! I hated it...lost 100 lbs and loved it...gained back almost 40 lbs and and it made me want to cry again. Agh! Glad to hear that someone gained a love of shopping though! Lookin' good chica! Keep up the great work!

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1TRULYBLESSED 6/8/2011 8:36AM

    emoticon I needed a lift today -- thanks for providing it! I know your shopping was focused on clothes for other than your feet, but, GF, I LOVE your new pink tennies! Gotta get me some of THOSE!!!

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JENNYBAKER247 6/8/2011 8:34AM

    I LUV it!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
What a star you are.
A human Snausage, indeed. You are looking gr8. Keep UP the good work and hoping to hear from you soon. You are fan-tas-tic!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MRKTGCHICK 6/8/2011 8:30AM

    You totally made me laugh with some of the comments in this post! Thank you!

And congrats on a positive shopping experience. I suspect the more weight you lose, the more you will enjoy shopping!

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EMGERBER 6/8/2011 8:24AM

    I hate shopping no matter what it is for. Thank goodness I have a granddaughter who will keep me looking good.

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COYOTESPEAKS 6/8/2011 7:52AM


I need to start getting a new wardrobe, too! I keep waiting to put off a few more pounds before I do so, though. The converses look SUPER cute, and I'm proud of you for getting a skirt! I don't think I have the guts to wear a skirt just yet, but I hope to get there soon.

You're an inspiration!

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ATA1119 6/8/2011 6:48AM

    YAY! Shopping is meant to be fun. I completely understand how frustrating it can be though. I'm so happy you bought cute clothes =D

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One More Way to Get Moving Faster

Thursday, June 02, 2011

I weigh 279 pounds.
I am morbidly obese.
I haven't run a full out, knees up and arms pumping real run in well over a decade.

Yesterday was National Running Day.

I ran 5.7mph @1% for a minute. Then I did it again after I caught my breath. Then for 30 seconds, until I couldn't run another step.

If I can do this, you can do this. Get moving! You can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!

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As a side note, if you really want to go faster on the treadmill, do what I do:
1) Select a treadmill
2) Start walking
3) Start walking really fast when a fast song comes on
4)Get all excited about your speed, and go a little faster
5)Discover that this treadmill was available because the "slow down" button does not work.
6)Try to slow treadmill down.
7) Nearly fall off treadmill while hitting the "slow down" button repeatedly.
8) When no longer able to go this fast, hit emergency shut down button.
9) Realize at end of workout that you have a new PR!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERISSE5 6/16/2011 1:01PM


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GOIN4GR8 6/9/2011 11:07PM

    My stupid, stupid knees ... can't run anymore, and you make it sound like FUN! How on earth did you do that?!?!?


Your blog posts are awesome. Every stinkin' one.

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ANTMELON 6/9/2011 9:44AM


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CLEVERMOON321 6/9/2011 6:14AM

  emoticon emoticon

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DIVAMOMAOF1 6/8/2011 6:26PM

    Great job!!!! emoticon

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STELA731 6/8/2011 9:19AM

    That's awesome! You rocked it!

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AALIYANA1 6/8/2011 7:56AM


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DWILCZKO 6/8/2011 1:00AM

  so cute!

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MENACE79 6/7/2011 12:50PM

    lol - I get the biggest kick out of your blogs. That sounds exactly like something that would happen to me. Congrats on the PR! :)

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KIWIEVIE 6/7/2011 11:45AM

    Yeah.... That will do it for you.... emoticon
Keep it up!
Keep Motivated!
Keep Moving!

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YINETTV 6/7/2011 11:36AM

  That's funny but a good motivator.

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    Haha! Sometimes life pushes our limits for us. Good for you for taking advantage!

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DROPLET 6/6/2011 10:37PM

    Wonderful! That's the spirit!

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SSKELTON1 6/6/2011 3:12PM

    way to go ! i have found a few treadmills like that in my life....i think i will learn to walk before i run(what is that? a 3 letter word?)

) emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/6/2011 3:15:15 PM

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JULIA1154 6/6/2011 12:19PM

  Great blog - again!

I like to do intervals on my treadmill. I started out pushing the speed for just a single minute, then two. Now many times I'll alternate - one song (a fast piece, of course) at a run, then the next at a somewhat lower pace.

It's a great way to move into running and really helps burn calories. Plus, it's so much easier to do ANYTHING for "just one minute", right?


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EMPTRS 6/6/2011 11:55AM

    Ha ha-I just love your blogs! I NEED a treadmill like that! : )

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IMJUSTFLUFFY 6/6/2011 11:51AM

Rhonda emoticon

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LAURALLANCE 6/6/2011 7:13AM

    Wow! Keep going. Speaking of full out, knees up, and arms pumping remember how good it felt to get past the burn, hit your stride, etc.? It's a distant memory for me but you're inspiring me to try for "running euphoria" again. Thanks Jenn!

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NANT406 6/6/2011 3:26AM


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SWAN47 6/6/2011 1:00AM

    Loved it...still giggling.

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PROVOPAL 6/6/2011 12:43AM


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ISISNIRA 6/5/2011 9:19PM

    Alright keeping it moving emoticon emoticon

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ELBALL 6/5/2011 2:22PM

    Too funny! Congrats on the new PR!

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AZURELITE 6/5/2011 8:21AM

    Thanks for the chuckle! I think I'll stick to 'walk away the pounds'... sounds safer for me!!

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JLEMUS1 6/5/2011 7:40AM

    Work it!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROSALITA323 6/5/2011 12:37AM

    You. Kick. Ass.

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FREECAL1 6/4/2011 11:21PM

  Loved the article!

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MONIEE2 6/4/2011 11:01PM

    Awesome, you can count me down, but don't count me OUT!!!

You rock!!


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TNGIRL78 6/4/2011 10:14PM

    WTG - Inspirational!!

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WHIPPEACHZ 6/4/2011 9:34PM

    So funny, great way to sneak it by you. Have a great day!

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VONN06 6/4/2011 9:11PM

  Great idea!

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SHEFFIELD09 6/4/2011 5:59PM

    Ha I hate that button even when it works! I expect a immediate slow down lol apparently I should probably use the emergency stop button. Thanks for making me smile!

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VEHAMILTON1 6/4/2011 5:46PM


I need some treadmill humor!


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OMEGAZ 6/4/2011 4:48PM

    This is hilarious! It reminds me of a bad experience I had with a treadmill some time ago: I zeroed in on the very last piece of cardio equipment that was available. The gym was sooo loud and full of fit folks that I didn't realize before getting on that this treadmill was already running full-blast. I stepped right on and immediately BIT THE DUST in front of a gym full of people getting their sweat on. Talk about embarassing! (FYI- I got right back on that thing... after checking to be sure I wasn't bleeding out of my forehead. A few bumps and bruises, but I will NOT let exercise equipment get the best of me!)

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LOVESWEETS2 6/4/2011 12:42PM

    wow you go girl

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SUECHRIS50 6/4/2011 12:11PM


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MAUITN 6/4/2011 11:09AM

    I really have to try that treadmill trick! LOL Great job!

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PAWSINAZ 6/4/2011 10:22AM


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HERCULEA 6/4/2011 10:00AM

    Way to go and way to motivate!! Very funny about the treadmill! Thanks for the chuckle this morning! I will be thinking about you when I'm running :-) emoticon

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    Cute Post

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JESSALOU7 6/3/2011 9:14PM

    Too funny!!! I just got the visual in my head! Way to go girl for hopping on that treadmill and running!

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JUTYMO 6/3/2011 6:18PM

  And they say exercise equipment is suppose to HELP us. Help kill us is a better analogy! Just make sure you don't get on that treadmill with your buddy's resistance bands. They'll hit you in the mouth, knock you down, and the treadmill will throw you across the room. Now that's a workout!! emoticon

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JENNA54 6/3/2011 6:17PM

    Hi jenn - you are an inspiration, I love reading your blog. Humour helps with everything doesn't it? I think we all need to laugh at ourselves more - not take everything so seriously. Keep up the great work - I'm just putting my running shoes on now... emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 6/3/2011 12:49PM

    Happy National Running Day!

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KABEE2011 6/3/2011 11:13AM

    I had a funny, smartA$% thing to say to you, but this morning as I was doing my strength training with the resistance bands, I let go too soon and popped myself in the mouth. Now my busted lip won't let my snide comment pass! Good job on the running... I'm still so not there yet.

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SNOWMAIDEN 6/3/2011 8:10AM

    I'm sorry but is it cruel to wish I'd have seen that? I'm laughing just reading about it!

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RYDERB 6/3/2011 1:29AM

    emoticon Great job Jenn! On a different note, Thanks so much for the appetite suppressant emoticon Next time I'm having a craving, before I give in, I'm running back here to check out that "green" shake. I hope it tastes A LOT better than it looks!

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CANNIE50 6/3/2011 12:37AM

    Runner's has an entire section devoted to treadmills gone wild. I can only imagine the look on your face emoticon Way to go with it, girlie. A kid I know once innocently asked me how fast I ran while doing 1/2 marathons - "7 minute miles, right?" "Oh, honey" I told him, "I don't know what would have to be chasing me, or what kind of truck I would have to be attached to, to be able to run 7 minute miles." Now I know how I can run a 7 minute mile! emoticon

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KIBAISREADY 6/2/2011 11:23PM

    lol, girl I love your sense of humor... I remember all of these all too well... I love it!

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June is Just Around the Corner... My June Goals

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

June is tomorrow.

While I am thrilled that I am one day closer to vacation and showing an entire cruise ship my albinoesque skin, I also need to come up with new goals, which is always a challenge. I hate it when I have to think.

But I do love to laugh, and I have the mentality of a 10 year old most days, so the blog Goloptious wrote today made me literally LOL. I think this is the link, but I'm not entirely sure.
The blog entry is called "This Little Fat Girl Went to the Gym."

Hrmmmm. Crap. Avoidant behavior only got me out of doing goals for a paragraph. Crap.

1. Do 20% more exercise minutes in June than in May. That is also known as 1,514.4 minutes of exercise. AKA heap big pile of exercise that will be a serious time commitment. Yup, I can do it.
2. Eat my prescribed one cup of Lay-gooms per day.
3. Eat my prescribed tbsp of flax seed per day (this is easy now that I'm doing green smoothies).
4. Take the children for walks instead of just playing fetch and running in the bark park aka back yard.
5. Lose ten pounds. Lose ten pounds and lose inches and go faster... also known as "make progress of some variety."
6. Join swim team AND regularly swim workouts with them. Just joining does not work, kind of like joining the gym and never actually going in the place.
7. No less than 60 minutes of real exercise every day on vacation except Sunday, when we disembark at 8am and travel all day to get home.
8. Come home weighing less than when I left on vacation.
9. Give away more clothes that are too big. Do crazy happy dance with the surround sound set for "stun" playing Born This Way by Lady Gaga.
10. Jog at 5.2 at least once every time I get on the treadmill. Work toward mega goal of 4 mph for an entire hour.
11. More classes. More kickboxing, more weight training, more cardio classes instead of the human hamster wheel.
12. Get bike tuned up. Ride bike. Ride bike without hitting things, including the pavement. Ride bike without sustaining traumatic brain injury.
13. Hike more, treadmill less. Notice big yellow thing in sky, attempt to see it more frequently.
14. Try to find some open water to swim in that is not disgusting.
15. Spread the spark.
16. Spread the spark outside of this website.
17. Identify the hormone surge, and work in a positive way to counteract the surge of negativity that comes with it.
18. Talk to myself like I would a SparkPeep, not the way I would a mass murderer.
19. Non-spark related... get my school stuff done so I can start classes in June and the fall. GAG.
20. Start taking regular photos of myself in the dress that shall forever be referred to as Pink Nightmare. I prefer the name fuschia nightmare, but I refuse to look up how to spell the word fuscia every time I want to talk about it, so Pink it is.

May 15, 2010, the dress that started it all--known as Pink Nightmare:

Things I learned in May:
1. Hormones are not to be trifled with, they will jack you up in a way you won't see coming.
2. Take better care of yourself and you will feel better about yourself.
3. It is often easier to make huge, sweeping changes than to try to make the little changes that diet guides often suggest.
4. I hate "try". If you say try to me it better be in the context of "I'm going to try a new food I've never had before," because "Oh, I will try to exercise this week" sounds whiney and has the lovely stench of defeat and annoys me.
5. You can never have too many friends, here on Spark or elsewhere.
6. If you are only sharing and spreading the spark on Spark, you are missing out. Like life-changing, missing out.

Brace yourself Effie, Jenn is getting preachy for a moment.

I realized, as I sat in the same room with my husband on Saturday, typing away on Spark, saying wonderful, encouraging things to all of you, that sometimes I am more supportive of all of you than I am of Cheffrey. The man sleeps in the same bed as me, he deserves some extras that all of you don't, namely, face to face support and encouragement. (You thought I was going to say S-E-X didn't you? Naughty!)

I forgot that he needs positive reinforcement and reassurance on a frequent basis, too. So Sunday, while he was sweating his boys off helping me plant the garden, I said to him, "You are the awesome cherry on my awesome sundae".

Now this is an entirely redonkulous statement on many levels, considering I mostly eat vegan, and, well, let's face it, it was just a plain old ridiculous thing to say, period. But it seemed better than, "honey, I appreciate you sweating like a monkey being strapped into a NASA rocket."

His face lit up, he gave me a huge smile and said, "I love you, too!" Today he was "the soy sauce on my pizza", which yet again sounds weird, but in my world, this is a high compliment. His response? "I love you, too."

His version of the ridiculous compliment? "You are like the Erma Bombeck of weight loss now." Which I thought was one of the best compliments in the history of compliments, especially since I've only allowed him to hear two of my blogs, and only if I read them aloud so he couldn't see anything else. Maybe the ridiculous compliment is sweeter for being totally redonkulous, I know I approved.

As usual, I digress, and my goal of a short and sweet entry is not coming to fruition for the 63rd time. Spark Streak!

The moral of the story: If you are sending out compliments and likes and high fives and goodies and shooting sunshine, hearts and flowers out your bum here on Spark, but you aren't saying these things to the people you love, the people you appreciate and the people you see most days, it really should be on your June list of goals. Trust me. Just like the spark here, you get back double or triple what you put out there into the world.

Anywho, you've read my goals, now fess up, what are yours? Also, will someone PLEASE tell me they have an equally nightmarish outfit that they are willing to cart to 5ks, weigh ins, and wherever else it would be funny to have their photo taken in a horrendous, hideous and wonderfully awful outfit?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Great post

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RCLEE09 6/9/2011 9:34AM

  Get it girl! Love your humor and honesty.

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ROJAKHAN 6/8/2011 10:55AM


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KBOUISSEY 6/7/2011 8:23PM

  You are pretty darned funny! I'm new to Sparkpeople and I'm still learning my way around, but I've stopped on your blog a couple of times. I can totally relate to your weight and body image struggles. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!

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THEIS58 6/7/2011 6:12PM

    Great goals for the month of June!

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CALGAL16 6/7/2011 3:06AM

    You are so witty and funny! And insightful! Love it, and the progress. I could read your blogs for days, and include lots of !!!!!! in my comments. :) I'm semi-vegan (I still eat non-vegan desserts). What do you like to do for dessert? I never loved chocolate until I suddenly had to give it up, and now I don't know what to do without it! I've tried vegan cookies and ice creams, but none satisfy my cravings. I like the real (dairy-fied) deal. Unfortunately. I would like to be 100% at some point. But at least I know how to make excellent waffles and pancakes! (Can't live without those.)

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AMYJO3030 6/6/2011 8:01PM

    june goals follow plan and work out. by the way your word is fuscia mine is excercize

great blog as usual. what's with the hormone dealy. hope june goes well. and how come the vegan? emoticon emoticon

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CHRIAMARIA1983 6/6/2011 3:45PM

    You are doing great! And BTW your "pink nightmare" Isn't a nightmare. I was thinking total 80's ruffles and all that wierd crap. Girl, you looked pretty, weight be danged! So, you needed to lose weight, well you still deserve to look nice! Dresses aren't just for the skinny chicks!

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IMJUSTFLUFFY 6/6/2011 11:59AM

    Good for you!

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AMYBUTLER10 6/4/2011 8:40PM

    Love your blogs, each and every one! You are rendonkulously spectacular!

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DWILCZKO 6/4/2011 12:27AM

  so inspiring!

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PENCILPUSHER75 6/3/2011 3:35PM

    Very good blog post. My June Goals: I will stay on the nutrition plan and I will continue to work the activity plan each day.

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SHEFFIELD09 6/3/2011 2:13PM

    Loved your blog! I agree I def need to start "sparking" outside of sparkpeople. Maybe my whole family will burst in flames! Ha lame I know. I hope you have a great time on your cruise!

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    Ha - GREAT blog!! :) I loved it!

And you are so right - I know that I definitely tend to forget to compliment end build up those closest to me. Thanks for the much-needed reminder about the importance of caring for the ones I love most. :)

- Michelle

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PURPLEJO123 6/3/2011 8:11AM

    I love your blogs. You have a wonderfull way with words. I have added you as a friend on here but haven't done much apart from tracking my calories and exercise so far.

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TULIPAN2 6/3/2011 3:19AM

    As always you forced me to emoticon emoticon

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    ok...blah blah have awesome goals etc. You totally inspire me and make me laugh...and I wish I was even close to as amusing as you are!

BUT...what I really appreciate is the repetitive use of one of my favorite words...redonkulous. A very under appreciated and underutilized word in my opinion!

And...I see your fuschia dress...and raise you a greyish-purplish strapless above-the-knee straight sheath picked out by a size-freaking-two twig of honor. The dress looked horrible on everyone except the aforementioned twig. meh.

rock on...and keep inspiring your cyber stalking crew! :)

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TIGGERJEAN 6/2/2011 1:12PM

    Yay! I know what you mean about being positive in 'real life' to those closest to us. It always helps to tell people how much they mean to us.

I totally sympathize with your pink nightmare...mine was a red nightmare that I actually picked out for my sister in law's wedding...I looked at the pictures and I nearly DIED.

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BLUEROSE73 6/2/2011 12:37PM

    Yeah, I've got to admit, those horomone things are really knocking me on my butt on a regular basis lately. I think it's also due to the fact I'm so stressed and worked up about other things in life these days. Almost like I have no buffer to help fight off the effects.

Anyhow, we can find a way to prepare for when they hit, and a way to ride them out.

I don't have a nightmare outfit anymore. At least I don't think I do. I will have to see if my ex has any of my stuff left at the house or not.

And it's great that your hubby is so supportive. That's awesome.

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FAB_IN_11 6/2/2011 11:21AM

    Love your blog!
I too have a Nightmare dress! It is the dress I wore to my oldest son's wedding! You are an inspiration! Thanks for the comment on my blog!
emoticon emoticon

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MASHA379 6/2/2011 4:57AM

    great blog. love the goals no.5, 12 and 13 :P
my goal is... to lose weight (obviously), add more cardio and strenght, get my daily proteins and jus be happy :)))

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SARAHRULU 6/1/2011 10:03PM

    My husband and I made an "Awesome Chart." It's much like those we had in grade school whenever you did your chores. We use it anytime the other person does something nice/unexpected/wonderful/awesome. There's ten stars in each row, and when your row gets filled up you get to pick something for us to do together which the other can't complain about.

I took pictures of me in my old bikini and that's about the most ridiculous thing you'll ever see me in. Especially since I look like a big white glow covered strategically by triangles of fabric. Can't wait to pull that bad boy out for the "after" photos.

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-JUDITH- 6/1/2011 6:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MJC1971 6/1/2011 5:32PM

    Your blog made my day! You are hilarious! On a more serious note, you so hit the nail on the head. It's so easy to take for granted the people we love most.

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BLUESAPIDITY 6/1/2011 3:32PM

    Speaking of hormones, we all know it's my time of the month because I actually started getting teary reading about you and your husband! :) My DH is wonderful and supportive too, and I will make a conscious effort to tell him that more often. Thanks for the continuing inspiration! I will post June goals!

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JUSTJOYCE3 6/1/2011 2:48PM

  You truly inspire me. Thank you.

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CORINNAW71 6/1/2011 1:41PM

    I was honestly gonna say YOU ROCK but Marty728 already did....but I'll say it again!!! YOU ROCK!!!! Very inspiring! My goals will be to amp up the exercise and fruits and veggies again. emoticon emoticon

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    Those are seom great goals!!! :D

I love the sweet things you're saying to your man and that he's saying back. So thoughtful and wonderful and gives me warm fuzzies. :D

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STEPH1811 6/1/2011 1:32PM

    OMG I'm so happy to see someone else use the term "ridonkulous" in a sentence, I thought I was the only one!

I have a "Pink Nightmare", only mine is a nice blue color, brides maid's dress from my sisters wedding last year. THE WORST.

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SHASSYSUE2 6/1/2011 1:15PM

    Love it!!! Shannon

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DIXIED88 6/1/2011 1:14PM

    My "pink dress" would have to be my wedding dress. It's horrible to think it but that's the heaviest I have ever been. The sweet part is to think that Hubby married me at that size and loves me thick, thin, or strong and healthy. He just started getting healthy too and I'm so going to use your kind of compliments on him. Love it!

My goals for June are fairly simple. Keep going! Keep getting stronger, faster, less-winded doing the same things...keep eating more fruits and veggies and less junk. Do not quit b/c the only person that's going to lose is me.

Great blog!

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MONETRUBY 6/1/2011 1:11PM


Love your goals, love your husband (in a totally platonic, friendship kind of way), love your attitude, love that you are willing to share all sides of you-the good, the bad, and the ugly. You're inspiring me to consider starting a regular blog habit, which might help me be a bit more successful than my current regular snacking habit.

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RONOSOF 6/1/2011 12:04PM

    I am grateful for all your blogs:) I will post my goals too. Keep 'em comin'

Peace, Mary emoticon

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4AMAZINGME 6/1/2011 12:02PM


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HIPPICHICK1 6/1/2011 11:23AM

    "You are like the Erma Bombeck of weight loss now."

My goals for this month? You know I don't have any specific goals where weight loss or where my fitness levels are concerned. I just keep on swimming, swimming, Dory...and I know I'll get stronger, better, healthier in time.

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SPARKLISE 6/1/2011 10:52AM

    Really inspiring! I also have a green drink every morning before breakfast(actually before my walk,which i cannot miss because my dog is at the door staring at me the whole time i'm drinking,waiting for me,and if i'm not fast enough he whines and cries emoticon). I really should make goals,but i'm fine with what i'm doing now. emoticon emoticon

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MARTY728 6/1/2011 9:51AM

    Great blog. Very truthful and funny! YOU ROCK!

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BEATLETOT 6/1/2011 8:45AM

    You are gutsy, amazing, and an inspiration!!! So many goals, it's so motivating to see.

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AMYGIRL1972 6/1/2011 8:29AM

    Great blog, really liked it. I havn't yet tried a monthly goals blog, but i think i might give it a try. So thanks for

Can't immediatly think of any outfits that meet the scale of your Pink Dress, but i am sure there is something.

My amazing sweetie is quite a shy guy, and i love that about him. I do give him compliments from time to time, not nearly as often as i feel he diserves...i think he gets a bit imbarrased when i do. We have been together for about 6 years, with a breef breakup for about 6 months or so. Before that time we were both to afraid to tell each other how we really felt about each other because of passed relationships and such. Since that time i have been making a point to tell him that i love him, and he tells me back...but he also laughs and tells me i say it to much. Maybe i just need to come up with more creative ways to say it...we both love to say silly things to each other and laugh at ourselves. He might be more comfortable with some of those redonkulous statements of affection...

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A_NEW_JAN 6/1/2011 8:22AM

    I've been reading your blog since my first Spark Day (May 14th this time around).
You've made me laugh, you've made me make an appointment to have my hair done, you've made me worry about you (take it from an older gal - hormones can turn a perfectly rational woman into a crazed maniac/possible ax murderer!).

Today, I had to comment (though I'm usually a "silent" fan).
We often forget that the guy sleeping in our bed is important. He helps pay the bills and even "sweats like a monkey strapped into a NASA rocket" for us without much complaining because.... he loves you.

One of the reasons I re-joined Sp this time was not so much to lose weight, but to use the SP system to get a grip on my entire life. To become worthy of him planting the flowers, painting the garage, building me a desk because we really couldn't afford to buy one. taking the pups for a walk though he would really rather be watching reruns of Star Trek TNG for the umpteenth time. Mine's a great guy... I want to be more like him. Your's sounds pretty dog-gone fantastic, too!

Great blog, as always!

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QNOFHARTS 6/1/2011 8:17AM

    Thank you!! Why does it seem so difficult to compliment people, especially the one who sleeps next to you? I am horrible at making goals and sticking to them, but I will make this my first June goal: I will give my husband at least one heartfelt compliment each day.

Great goals, btw! You will succeed!! emoticon

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FLYING2007 6/1/2011 7:40AM

    LOVED this!!! Particularly #18 for June- like I said on your sparkpage you are way too hard on yourself! You have inspired me to be nicer to my hb- I really wonder somedays how he doesn't smother me with a pillow after my hormone raging bitchiness that he has to deal with!

You are hilarious!!

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STFRENCH 6/1/2011 4:18AM

    Some of this had me howling with laughter!! emoticon
Good luck for your June goals emoticon


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JMMATTHEWS1 6/1/2011 4:02AM

    I liked your blog. Hey nice to see that you're finally well enough to go swimming again. Sometimes it's nice to give encouraging compliments to people in your life. Maybe June will be a better month for all of us. Thanks, Jason.

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GOLOPTIOUS 6/1/2011 1:58AM


I love your blog! It inspires me to make my own list. Unfortunately, it is midnight, so the list will have to be done tomorrow.

I'm writing "Spark It Up!!" on my dry erase board tonight to remind me to compliment others and share what I'm learning!


Edited To Add: I will find a ridiculously horrible outfit and post a picture, although the dress I wore to my sister's wedding isn't bad but definitely will not fit currently, so I'll have to find a different one.

Comment edited on: 6/1/2011 2:01:07 AM

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    You crack me up, lady! It looks like you've got some great goals lined up. Thanks for the butt-kick on the whole husband ignoring thing. That monkey in the NASA rocket thing is going to be indelibly etched in my memory now, I hope you know. PS, Erma ftw!

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SHAYB17 6/1/2011 1:26AM

    Your writing style and humor are great! you should seriously write a book about your journey. Heck, that comedian, Chelsey Handler, wrote a book about all her drunkeness and sexcapades, and your easliy as funny as she is! Thanks!

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WHIPPEACHZ 5/31/2011 11:28PM

    I have several nightmare outfits... but honestly not anything on scale with the pink When you finally get the weight off get some other materials and cut the dress down to size and add some cool sashes and things. Make it really outrageous. Who knows you might actually enjoy wearing it... :). Love your sense of humor and your blunt way of stating the obvious. Thanks for a great read!

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SILENTE8 5/31/2011 11:02PM

  Wow, lady, this REALLY hit home. Again, you are spot ON! I am going to spend time with my people and spread a little spark on them, especially my hubby who is as awesome as your Cheffrey in his own way. Thanks for sharing your raw, honest insights with us. I wish I had an ugly outfit for pictures. I don't have one right now, but I look forward to all of the places you come up with to photograph yourself in that dress. Have a beautiful day. ~Erin

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SHEILAB64 5/31/2011 10:40PM

    I don't know what cruise line your are taking but my husband and I have been on 5 cruises (I love them more than he does and I plan the vacations.) However, we really liked ones that offered free exercise classes. We went on one NCL one that gave you tickets for each exercise class or activity they had and at the end of the cruise you could cash in those tickets for free t-shirts - something like 7 for a - t-shirt - we came home with 7 or 8 t-shirts - this was 13 years ago and my husband still has a couple left he uses for exercise.

Also talk to your waiter at the very first meal and explain what you are doing and how you like to eat and they will totally accomodate you - I have gone low carb - they accomodated, Gluten free - they accommodated and I am sure they can do Vegan too. Just make sure to tip him well if he does a good job for you.

I hope you have a fabulous time - After Prince (my husband - yes real name) gets back from Afganistan next spring/summer - we are taking a cruise to celebrate.

I have nothing to compete with that dress - only been in 2 weddings and they were both my sister's and I helped them pick out dresses that would be useful again - have worn both on several of the cruises and used them for costumes for theater.

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May Goals: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly and the Unexpected

Monday, May 30, 2011

Captain Poopy Pants is going into the closet for a few weeks. I finally saw a loss today, which means I can put him away on an up note.

Naming him something absurd really did help take a little of the sting out of his bite, but I need to take a few weeks away from examining the number of pounds I weigh and start to really look at the other things that are showing improvement, such as mileage, how my clothing fits, etc.

I'm going to work on my new June goals tomorrow.

May 2011 Goals--Let's see!

*Eat in restaurants no more than twice a week (major issue for me).

FAIL, but I have found places that I can enjoy without going off my Eat to Live plan. This means I have a restraining order against the Amish place with the buffet, keeping me a safe distance from the mashies, gravy, pot roast, green beans with bacon, gravy, stuffing, gravy, and of course, broasted chicken (and gravy).

*Lose a total of 40 pounds by the cruise (June 5th. Aim high I say, aim high).

I'm at 28.8 and I leave Sunday, so I will be closer than I was May 1, but no cigar on this one.

*No processed foods whenever humanly possible. That means you, devil bread and satan tortillas.

Satanic tortilla chips are still a problem, but I can only remember having bread twice all month. I've pretty much eliminated processed foods, unless you consider tofu processed.

*No more than one food with a label each day.

Score! My label foods are typically tofu, tempeh or beans from a can. While I prefer my naughty foods to come in a crinkly bag with a label, I'm sticking with the good foods that happen to have a label.

*Eat the one cup of beans per day that my plan prescribes.

50%. I'm not sure why I struggle with this one as much as I do. It isn't fear of farting, or the word "legume" even though I think it is a weird word. Must work harder on consuming beans, especially edamame, which is also a weird word, but quite tasty.

*At least ten different fruits and vegetables in my daily diet. Eating across the rainbow and all that happy crap.

WOOT, I'm on this one. I have consumed a veritable Crayola 64 of freggies, and we all know how cool the 64 box is, because it comes with a SHARPENER!

*Continue to support the newbies on the site by saying supportive things to first time bloggers. Aim for 10 per day, more when bored at the workplace.

I'm probably about 20-30% on this one, I've been working at being more supportive to my Peeps than brand new people.

*Exercise no less than 300 minutes per week.

1,227 fitness minutes this month, I think that is a helllls yes. Woot woot hells yes, WOOT WOOT helllllllllls yes.

*Pool no less than twice per week.

Well, the ear infections kind of screwed this one up, but I am up to a mile when I swim, which I am pleased with. 84 lengths. I don't even care that people see me in my suit anymore, I just get the ipod cranking and get to work.

*Quit being a sissy and go to at least one swim team practice as a trial run by the end of May.

Fail, but I'm planning to join in June, which is when they switch to the outdoor pool that is right around the corner from my house. WOOT WOOT. Sunshine and a workout!

*The barely zipped jeans will be loose.

They are baggy and they are bordering on looking silly, but I am not willing to buy new ones yet. I'm waiting for the day when I'm bringing groceries into the house and I have my arms full and my pants fall down around my ankles and I have to hop inside. That will be an embarrassing, but awesome, day. I hope I'm wearing clean and unbelievably cute undies when it happens.

*My largest pants will be too large to wear and will have to be given away. Even the four new pairs, including the spiffy navy pinstriped ones.

The navy pinstriped pants are gone, along with the black and the charcoal. I'll probably get rid of the fourth pair in the next week or so. My friend is going to be looking good, I will be down to a pair of khakis and a pair of navy pants which will rotate ad nauseum until they no longer fit and I'm forced to buy a size 20. WOOT WOOT.

*Work on my Paul McKenna steps as follows:

YES! SCORE! 1. When you are hungry, eat.

Pretty much!! Wootalicious! 2. Eat what you want (not what you think you "should".)

I could do better, but I am improving. Must stop eating my snack on my lap (see photo evidence) 3. Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful.

Totally doing great with this!! 4. When you are full stop.
I haven't been listening to the hypnosis-esque CD thing. Just don't feel the need.

*no freaking excuses. Shut up and do it.

I've had a miserable few days, but I did what I needed to do. Aside from a planned off plan weekend, I've kept within my calorie range every day. I've gone to the gym even when I wanted to flop on the couch and hire people to wave palm fronds in my general direction and eat nothing but no bake cookies and peanut butter cups all day, every day.

All in all, not bad, but I think I can do better in June and come up with some great new goals.

Snack time yesterday:

Today at lunch wearing my Peep shirt:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSACLAIRE 6/7/2011 5:57PM

    I love reading your blogs. You have inspired me to create June goals for myself!

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    "Continue to support the newbies on the site by saying supportive things to first time bloggers. Aim for 10 per day, more when bored at the workplace."

I don't know if I count, since I'm technically re-starting at sparkpeople, but I still consider myself a newbie and your post rocked! lol Reading some of your others and you have me rolling! A fluffy bunny for you!! emoticon

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AMYJO3030 6/5/2011 7:36PM

    to cute. i just want to let you know your pic looks great and your words are fabulous. kukos to you.

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WADHA1973 6/3/2011 4:46PM


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PAWSINAZ 6/3/2011 11:14AM

    I never thought of Tofu as a processed food and I am off of processed food. I guess I just added another thing to my NO list.....hahahaha!!! Thank you!!!!

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EVELYN5877 6/3/2011 7:47AM

    Well done on your success so far, I hope you really enjoy your cruise. As a fellow Paul McKenna devotee I have to say that you dont realise what you are missing. It has an accumulative effect on all sorts of things. It's the most effective bit for me, it has filled me with confidence that I can achieve all sorts of things, as a sixty year old widow I have restarted both archery and karate, beyond my wildest dreams! emoticon

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DPIRIE 6/3/2011 7:47AM

    emoticon Love your blog...I can so relate

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MARTHA503 6/3/2011 5:50AM

    You had me laughing and just love your sense of humor! I'm looking forward to your next post. Enjoy your cruise! I go on a 7day cruise in October.

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THEIS58 6/3/2011 1:49AM

    Great job in May! emoticon

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WALIDGAZALA 6/3/2011 12:53AM

    What a great job

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FITFABME2 6/3/2011 12:51AM


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DWILCZKO 6/3/2011 12:15AM

  keep up the good work!

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APPLECAKES1977 6/2/2011 11:51PM

    Hilarious. I just open crayon boxes and smell smell ever.

Congrats on hitting some of your goals and working hard toward the others :) Keep on keepin' on, my friend.

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TWINZILLA 6/2/2011 9:48PM

    I''d say you rocked May (you do aim high)! :)

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FOXDIS1 6/2/2011 9:13PM

    great job, enjoy your cruise

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AMBER461 6/2/2011 8:18PM

  I like you determination to loss 40 lbs. Enjoy your cruise.

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PONDERFUL 6/2/2011 8:13PM

    you crack me up. keep 'em coming. You've inspired me to set some goals!

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DEBRATODD1 6/2/2011 7:30PM


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NATURALLYJEN 6/2/2011 5:19PM

    Love the tone of your blog! I hope you have a wonderful time on the cruise. Enjoy your successes and keep em comin'!

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BRANDI.FEY 6/2/2011 4:48PM

    Great job! I say you can count May as a big WIN!

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KRISTEN282 6/2/2011 4:39PM

    I love your attitude! Great blog! I'm going on a cruise in October so I'm trying to lose some weight for that too. Hope you have a good time!

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PENNYN62 6/2/2011 4:38PM

  You have some wonderful ideas and a great attitude. Enjoy the cruise!!!!

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AJB121299 6/2/2011 4:29PM

    awesome, enjoy the cruise

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CDNCASS 6/2/2011 3:59PM

    I agree, the sharpener ROCKS! lol

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IFEOMA4 6/2/2011 3:39PM

  i've learnt i can break down my goals month by month

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C_CHRISTINE 6/2/2011 2:42PM

    I like the way you list your goals and hold yourself accountable to them. I'm not good at holding myself accountable, but now that my 8 y/o son is my health coach maybe I can report to him while teaching him good habits at the same time I'm learning them.
Thanks for being an inspiration!

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ATLANTABELLE 6/2/2011 1:21PM

    I loved- " I'm waiting for the day when I'm bringing groceries into the house and I have my arms full and my pants fall down around my ankles and I have to hop inside. That will be an embarrassing, but awesome, day. I hope I'm wearing clean and unbelievably cute undies when it happens. " Thanks for giving me a hilarious image and a great laugh today. emoticon

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NEWCCBARBIE 6/2/2011 1:12PM

    Holy inspiring! Funny how looking at everyone else's goals both motivates and brings out my inner self critic though. As is, dude, you're seriously slacking and half-assing this! Thanks!

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JUNIE33 6/2/2011 12:40PM

    The ipod in the pool? I love the pool because it is so quiet.

Fun blog. Have a great vacation. emoticon

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BLUEROSE73 6/2/2011 12:29PM

    Way to go Jen. I can't wait to hear all about the moment those pants fall down. Every gory, embarrassing, detail.

You can do this.

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EDUKESS 6/2/2011 12:27PM

  Have a great cruise. Keep on track of your goals . emoticonBon voyage

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EDUKESS 6/2/2011 12:26PM

  Have a great cruise. Keep on track of your goals . emoticonBon voyage

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VLJSMREED 6/2/2011 12:25PM

    what a cute blog! very inspirational for me! THANKS SO MUCH!!

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DIGDEEPNOFEAR 6/2/2011 11:59AM

    Wicked awesome, love your blogs!

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PINKGRANNY 6/2/2011 11:59AM

    Good plans and a very good attitude. That is what helps you succeed. Enjoy your trip.

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SANDYPERM 6/2/2011 11:23AM

  You definitely put a lot of thought into your goals for the month. Lots of motivation.

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CHGOJMG 6/2/2011 11:15AM

    Thanks for sharing! I really need to outline my goals for June!

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TJ_RED 6/2/2011 11:10AM

    Absolutely HIIIIIIIIIIIIlarious and terribly motivating as usual! Love the part about beans and farting. We eat a lot of beans in my household. Having two larges dogs and eating beans almost every night proves for a very interesting household. Please keep us posted on your progress as you are doing a fabulous job thus far!


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HEAVENSSHADOW 6/2/2011 10:07AM

    rofl. love your attitude and sense of humor.
You made me smile today! Thanks, dude!!


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PATTILYNN224 6/2/2011 9:05AM

    Love the blog - especially the part about your goals. I wouldn't set any in the past as I didn't know how to deal with not reaching them. You have addressed that for me. Thanks.

Hope you have a great week and I hope that you get to the pants falling down around your ankles real soon.

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SHIHJABO 6/2/2011 8:14AM

    Great blog Jenn,

Loved the part about the edamame! It is one of my favorite Japanese words. I teach Japanese students and when one of them would do a great job, I would yell out
ED A MAME and clap! I got a lot of startled looks. I mean here I am yelling out soybeans!!! But I love the sound of the word.

Anyway, what a fun blog to read first thing in the morning.! LOL Barb

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MEETNEWME 6/2/2011 7:10AM

  Gud Goin gal!!

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HOWLERMOM 6/1/2011 11:36PM

    Great job on establishing and reaching a substantial number of your goals - have fun on your cruise!!

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FUZZYMOTO 6/1/2011 8:33PM

    Great job getting where you are today. Life is not about perfection, but how we deal with the set backs and you did a wonderful job.

I have to echo the question "how do you wear the ipod in the pool?" Sounds like you might be risking a shocking discovery. emoticon

Keep up the good work on reaching your goals. emoticon

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NELLEGRRL 6/1/2011 8:26PM

    Loved the blog and I love your background! smoothie in cold travel cup! That's my every morning routine, same cup, same smoothie! :)

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MAMAMAUREEN 6/1/2011 8:25PM

  Thanks for the motivation and encouragement of your oh so humorous post. Laughing is good exercise emoticon.

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JESQRD8 6/1/2011 6:28PM

  thanks for being so normal about this whole is nice to see someone that isn't all hopped up on the happy train but is still having great success!

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    Great goals

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BRANAUBREY 6/1/2011 2:02PM


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