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Rough day reflections

Thursday, September 05, 2013

So often, I blog negative things. Something negative happened, some sort of catalyst for change. I'm doing that again right now, it just occurred to me that that is something I should reflect on as a possible area to explore in my efforts to achieve a sustained healthy happy lifestyle. A running thesis that. The catalyst today is chocolate cupcakes and why I can't eat just one. I must eat them ALL! All of them until they are gone, and very few other things in between, cupcakes for all meals.

So I am having a bad day. It is back to school, my kids have all these things. Blah blah, I hate structure, schedules, routines and paperwork. I don't really hate those things, I am just bad at them, and try to rationalize that with dislike. So there is stress, cupcakes are not a medicine for stress. That is totally quotable.

I started this year with a New Years resolution of weight loss. To my credit I have lost weight each month, but I am starting to slack. I forgive myself for June, which is cake month in this family. I also forgive myself July which had a lot of road tripping vacations. August I forgive because I had company every weekend and being a hostess takes everything I have. I am like 100% introverted so having people in my den is very disorienting.

I could continue to lose just a pound or two a month. There is nothing wrong with that way, but I really do want to lose faster than that. I am so much better at this when I am tracking.

Back to sparking. Typing this blog is really about me giving me momentum, a stream of consciousness approach to self-motivation. I will now get a meal plan for the rest of the week ready. Write a grocery list and do the dishes. The whole house is a disaster. These kids are gremlins.

Spark People really does work. I mean, I have lost more weight in the last 2 or 3 years than I have gained. My yoyos are shrinking in size and duration. My self esteem, or body image has improved, and I am much kinder to myself.

Enough procrastinating reflection, time for ACTION :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOFLLAMA 9/5/2013 6:03PM


Comment edited on: 9/5/2013 6:04:00 PM

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LEEWORD 9/5/2013 5:53PM

    I agree, like an alcoholic.. One cupcake is too many and 12 are not enough. I can't start on those things. But the longer I stay away from them the easier it gets. Too bad you have to have them around for everyone else.
I complained to my mother that I was only losing a pound or two a month. She said "you would think it was a lot if you GAINED a pound or two a month."
Progress is progress.
Keep on keepin' on.

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February 2013

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I was trying to wait to blog until I was in a mood more reflective of the great success I had in January but February is slipping away and the mood is not improving. Thank goodness Spring is just around the corner.

I lost 11.8 pounds last month! Yay!

15.7% of my goal
5.3% of my body weight

The first month is usually the best. My goal sheet worked for half of January, then I lost it and quit making sure I did everything, everyday. I HAVE logged my calories truthfully everyday - that is a first for me. Anytime I have pursued weight-loss I have not tracked every day for a month long stretch. Ever. I am pleased with that.

I have the same amount of determination to complete my goals. I don't have that heightened enthusiasm as that first week. Still going strong though.

Looking forward to spring. I am excited to see how many of the bulbs I planted come up. I am excited to garden, it is our first year. My husband is a little crazy, he is going overboard. I don't think he realizes how much work it is. We were talking though, if we won the lottery both of us would want to buy a big farm and grow a variety of organic produce. I sometimes think I would love to sell produce and jams at a farmer's market. It seems like such a satisfying life, very connected to the earth. Concrete.

I digress because I am trying to think of something worthy of writing about in regards to healthy life styles and weight loss but am coming up blank. I will say, reading the message boards, other people's blogs and the articles on SP has been very inspiring and has helped keep my on track when I would rather eat chips or cake.

I read a neat mantra somewhere, "you never regret eating too little the next day"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAILOR64 2/15/2013 5:48PM

    Great Job in January. Can you use it to motivate you to do more in February? I'm willing to be a person as strong as you are can do it.

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PARKSCANADA 2/13/2013 11:13AM

    I think Feb is the toughest month of the year, so how positive of you to focus on spring. I try and do the same thing, but I focus on how each day is a little longer, a little brighter. Just thinking about it puts a "spring" into my step. So here's to continued success, renewed hope because spring is almost here!

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January 2013

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Hey guess what?! I am taking control of my diet and exercise program again.

I have only kept off five of the pounds I lost last year. I am not dwelling on that. The nice thing about New Year's resolutions is that they provide a clean slate. So with that in mind I wanted to write a little about what I am doing.

There are five things each day that I think are reasonable for me to do.

1. Drink 64 oz. of water
2. Log the calories I eat
3. Log even a small amount of exercise
4. Take my multivitamin
5. Floss

I have a chart to check off those five things each day. I am at the end of day 5 and have been successful at that. My calorie range is provided by Spark based on my desire to lose 75lbs. by New Years Eve this year. One setback has been a visit to the ER because I passed out while doing a workout tape. Good news, I'm healthy. Bad news no strenuous exercise until I get a stress test and see the doc. Great news? This incident did NOT get me off track!

One new element of my plan is that I am only weighing and measuring myself on the first of the month. My friend who is doing really well with her weight-loss and lifestyle only weighs in on the first too. It really helps to not dwell on the weight when it is a long term program. I think in the past I tend to obsess over the scale, I would weigh myself at least 10 times a day. So far I have been doing OK with that, although I did cheat yesterday and got on the scale.... :) I won't do it again though, because I am only cheating myself.

Update on our life too, we have our house and are mostly comfortably settled! Yay, that is where I have been these last few months. It was A LOT of work to get established, but now I really feel I have the time and desire to take good care of myself.
0 pounds lost.
0 inches down


102 days

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

I have been slacking for 102 days. In that time, I could have lost easily 25 pounds. Or more. I think about how 102 days turn in to years of me not being very happy with myself. I spend a lot of my life waiting for it to start. I don't know what magical catalyst I am waiting for, ultimately the power to change comes from inside of me.

There is also the thought, that we should be happy with ourselves the way we are. There is truth there too. Maybe we need to love ourselves enough to want to improve? I don't know, I tend to use the "love myself the way I am" mantra to avoid change. I really can't balance "change" and "love" I don't think they are compatible. Because if you are truly committed to change, it's because you don't like something and if you truly love something you don't want to change it.

Blah Blah. I am back to change for now, again. I don't want to de-motivate myself. I think about the hundreds of pounds I have lost and gained over the course of my adult life. Why? I KNOW I am happier when I am thinner. I have more energy. I take better care of myself. I am a better mom. I am a better friend. I am a better wife. I am better.

I want to be better.

My first small goal (aside from actually starting) is to lose 10 pounds in 2 months. So, Nov. 5th.

The ultimate goal is to lose 66 pounds.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOON2BSMALL1313 9/5/2012 10:42AM

    GReat perspective! Stay motivated! You can do it

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PARKERB2 9/5/2012 10:42AM

    emoticon emoticon Keep Sparking.

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Monday, June 25, 2012

It is really late, and I am so frustrated with myself! I lost those three pounds, and hit a new low - then promptly gained them back!

The buts are:
1.I have been living out of boxes for 3+ weeks and haven't been making great food choices. They aren't really choices, more like the drive-thru of shame.

2.I'm stressed out by this whole grown-up buy a house crap!

3. School is out, and the oldest is on-again off-again sick.

But but but!

Well, I can't make any more poor choices tonight, my belly uncomfortably full of chips and pop and a sandwich, but I can start RIGHT NOW making good choices - I am guzzling the water. Of course all that crappy food has so much sodium I need to flush it out. And I am going to swim tomorrow, that always help me.

I will also go stock-up, in a small way on some healthy groceries.

The catalyst for me today was talking to a friend who is going through a really hard time right now, much harder than anything I can complain about and she is taking control, hitting the gym and is so much happier for it. I am always impressed by her determination to overcome incredible odds. She will be my new muse for a re-launch.

My next blog is going to be an ecstatic treatise on how I took control and everything is going my way!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMRUDY24 6/25/2012 10:34AM

    My heart goes out to you my friend! Such a challenging time for you. Once you finally move into your new wonderful home the relief will be so great - you will cry tears of joy! You will be dropping anchor soon and the pounds will come drop off as well.
Be gentle with yourself. I am starting again too. Let's lovingly put good foods in our body and honorjavascript:%20void(0); the beautiful goddess we are emoticon

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