Tuesday, February 12, 2008
i wanted to detail a little bit of my story and how i got here present day... i was remarried a couple of years ago, had my third child and my life was feeling very full and good. i have always worked full-time as a therapist --MY VALUE has not been to work full-time but circumstances warranted it. so with my first three children, i sent them off to daycare which i feel in a lot of respects had its positives.
things started changing in 2006-2007 as the strain of working full-time and being 40 and taking care of a very busy family started to drain on me. i developed a condition where i had CONSTANT HEADACHES. i went to acupuncturists, chiropractor, massage therapists and a nutritional counselor. i spent a lot of money, time and effort to find the cure as to what was making me so stressed, in physical pain and pretty depressed.I was taking up to 10 excredrin a day. My unhealthy diet, my lack of exercise and the type of hours i put in were, i feel ,killing me. i just existed to get up and do it again. i started to really believe that i needed to change my life as i was now 40 and i have ONE LIFE. I bought the book on tape THE COURAGE TO CHANGE by Covey. it was the start of my looking at my life and work in a different way. i then signed up with the nutrional counselor --- she really helped me get in touch with what the bad food was masking and that was i was EXTREMELY UNHAPPY with the employment situation and my lack of feeling a real part of my childrens day to day lives. my husband also was in a similiar place with questioning what he wanted to be "when he grew up". I supported him to leave his employment and start his own company. that was the beginning of a switch for us to be more home-based so that we could be central to ourchildren daily.
about 7 months ago, i resigned from my position of 14 years........it has been scary and exciting at the same time. i stay at home with my two youngest and i am here for my two oldest when they com home from school to do homework, mediate the arguments, cook dinner., have fun ect. its mom staying home... not dad, not grandparents, sitter---mom.. FOR ME, that is so satisfying. i had the baby 11 weeks ago and finally some normalcy is creeping back in. i am done having children --- i feel that FINALLY i can focus on myself and what i need to feel good to provide the homelife i want for this family. i believe that this is a GIFT. i treasure the fact that even though i dont have much time... i am the boss of my time. i will never(i hope) take for granted the fact that i can exercise.......that i can eat healthy and that eventually i can find some part-time work that I LOVE. never do i ever want to go back JUST EXISTING. i love myself too much.
anyway, that is part of my transformation..... to be continued i am sure..