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3rd OWS -- 1 mile!! that was long...

Saturday, June 12, 2010

today was overcast.,, not too cold... but just yucky.. so a bit harder to get into the water.. but in we went at 8am... cold water emoticonand then we were off.. this was the group of ladies that wins triathlons in my area.. so when i tell you that i kept up with them -- I AM SO PROUD!!! and when my coach said "Jen L. very good" after 1/2 mile into the swim--i was tickled!!!!.. so i really had no idea we were going to swim 1 mile today.. no clue.. maybe that is for the best.. it seemed like it took forever to get to the side of the lake we were aiming for..and deep water!! but i prefer that instead of swimming along the shore..

when we got to the 1/2 mile point, Barb said "lets give a hand to Jen and Rachel swimming their first mile" i guess that was her displacing faith--yay!!

so we headed back.. i felt like i was swimming in an ocean.. so much water.. cant see the bottom.. just put one hand into the water and work on breathing and staying relaxed.. twice i thought.. i HAVE to be relaxed.. i wont be able to swim if i dont.. and its the truth.. i start inhaling water if i start getting nervous , flustered.. so there is something called chi running-- this was chi swimming emoticonand it works!!! really focus on relaxing... and just let your body sort of go with the water.. dont fight it... and then i could breathe and be more effective in the water..
the other tip i learned today was to spit into my goggles.. they were fogging up something terrible on the 1/2 mile back and it really screwed me up with my focusing about where i was headed.. so next time i will know..

i was really happy at the end of this swim.. it helps hearing Barb say to me that she is impressed with how well i have taken to water because i have nothing to base my performance on...

we started out for a bike ride but it began to pour and that was the end of that...
the girls went out for coffee =-= i declined.. ugh!! that hurt but i needed to get back home to the kiddies!! in another life , i can be hanging out half the day -- not yet!!
while i was leaving, one of the ladies was mentioning that she was interested in selling her tri-bike... tempting emoticon and i could pay in installments..really tempting emoticon have to talk in over with my hubby...
i was looking at tri camps last night and was dreaming of a week of training.. but really i am doing it for a fraction of what i was looking at... still-- sounds so cool to go away and traiiiiiiiiiiin!! emoticon

in other news, my husband has lost his keys.. this is a huge upheaval.. i really need to find them and as the hours pass, its looking more bleak... say a prayer for us!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTRIGIRL08 6/13/2010 5:03PM

    Yeah on the swim!!!! I was doing the same thing this morning out in the water. Just relax one arm in front of the other!!!

Hope you found the keys!!

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JENNIFER124 6/13/2010 11:34AM

    we thankfully found the keys!!!!

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SORGIN 6/13/2010 10:36AM

    Congrats on your swim! That is very high praise when it comes from Barb and indeed, you should relish that! YAY! I liked how you talked about chi swimming. I was doing a bit of the same during my 10K yesterday. It's funny how we were addressing the same thing at the same time! (I am re-reading the book.) I cannot imagine swimming a mile in a pool much less in open water. You go girl! And keep dreaming about the training camp because I bet you could make it a reality. Just look at what you've done in two short years!

Sorry about the keys. Stuff like that never goes well. Please tell me they surfaced somewhere!

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LASOLLER 6/12/2010 11:21PM

    One day I hope to be as comfortable in the open water as you! Just a little goal to work towards!! Congratulations on getting a "shout out" from your coach! They are so motivating! I too, dream of one day going to a tri camp! Wouldn't be so much FUN! But for now, I am tickled pink to be training with with my group! Don't you find other triathletes so giving and supportive? Let us know if you buy the tri bike!

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CRYSBROWN1 6/12/2010 7:22PM

    Hope you find the keys!

Your swim sounds like it went really well & that you are making amazing progress. Kudos to you for having the coach recognize your talent too! I cannot even imagine a mile in the open water just yet but thanks for sharing some of those tips especially the relaxation part because that is so important. I actually did my first OWS today in similar weather, it was challenging but not as challenging as I thought it would be. I hope to get to your level soon though!

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not sure how i am feeling about my job....

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

I look around at really resilient people that i come across... some of my clients are pretty resilient ; some of the therapists that work at my job are as well..

i would like to think that i am as well... but most of the time i feel like a whiner; a complainer; a spoiled brat...

i am in this constant battle of working on getting gratitude vs feeling justified to sit in sh@t "why me this?" "why me that?"

i really like staying home with my kids-- i really like my training-- i really like hanging out with my husband.... i dont like feeling bad about my job.. i am incredibly behind in my paperwork which is freaking me out... i do really like my clients--most of them work pretty hard in therapy and are very interested in keeping appts and getting well... their spirit at the end of the day is ALWAYS inspiring...

i was thinking maybe a have a low-grade depression.. truly.. if i look on my past life its really there... it comes and goes... my medicine the last 2 years has been to throw myself into an active lifestyle which really staves off the depressive feelings.. BUT when i was staying home with the kids before i came back to work, i didnt feel depressed... i didnt have headaches.. now i do...

my original goal was to work outside of the home (part-time) and to have more time with my kids.. that goal HAS been met.. that is what i am doing right now..
BUT this isnt the right job-- i dont even want to say how much they are paying me.. its extremely low for a therapist with a masters degree with 20 years experience.. ugh!! then that makes me feel ashamed... i think -- why didnt i play this smarter?? get a federal job?? get a school-based job and stick with it?? you see how the thoughts just keep circling if i let them??

my action plan HAS TO BE:

dont entertain negative thinking unless i am really working on change(such as looking for another job online or coming up with my own business plan)

when negative thoughts enter my head --- DISTRACT myself... drink tea, go on SP and read an inspirational blog, send a note of encouragement to someone else.. GET OUT OF MY HEAD

keep active--- dont overeat -- this is a basic -- it this goes, its curtains for me

keep up with my faith -- I am not alone!!! God is in control!!

this is really really hard to put out there-- i dont know why -- it just is.. its really what is going on with me.. i believe though that the more i ruminate in my head -- the worse this is going to get.... and in the end i know this job isnt forever --- its a "recession job" -- honestly, there arent too many options right now but things will turn around or i may turn around and do something different.. the "exciting" thing about these days is that because of everything being turned upside down... it makes for more creative thinking.. there can be more possibilities.. i just might have to create those possibilities myself.. that is very out of the box for me to think like that..i do believe its the truth...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SORGIN 6/13/2010 10:49AM

    I really like how you identified negative thoughts as a negative thing. I struggle with this myself. I know how to make a bad situation worse just by going into my head! Ha! The best advice I received from a mentor is to see a job as a job, not as life. She told me to work hard on creating a life outside of work because work is something we "have" to do; life is something we can somewhat control. Work is work. Life is everything else. If we put all our energy into work then it consumes us. It's a difficult balance, that's for sure. I have slowly over time learned to look at work as work but I struggle with it and get caught up in those overwhelming feelings. My husband is really good at that balance so I've learned a lot from him. He distances himself completely from the emotion of work and deals solely with things he can control. If he can't control it, then he does the best he can and is happy with that. Negative energy doesn't help him at work so he doesn't engage it. I sure wish I could do the same sometimes! I hope you are feeling better about things. I know you wrote this a while ago. Your clients are lucky to have you in their corner. Your supervisors are too. I hope you can remember that! You are a good person who is good at her job. Tell all that negative self-talk to take a hike.

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BECCACOATS 6/9/2010 12:46PM

    Jen ~ Thank you for sharing.. your feelings are what I feel. I have put myself into a shell and avoiding people and things because I feel VERY OVERWHELMED with LIFE!!

you have a Great focus and Goals. Remember you come first though, if your not happy then family will follow you.
WE women seem to be the goal & mood setters for the family (another Stress)

Follow your heart and I will join you in Prayer for this.

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    Hugs, Jen...I know this was difficult to put in writing...and to post for the world to see. Pretty private feelings.

I think the theme here, is that ALL of us feel those feelings of wanting to be somewhere else, of being undervalued and overworked, and of knowing we should be grateful. And, unfortunately, we all have to find our own way to a peaceful place with it. It takes some time.

I have two mantras at work:
1. "My job is a job...its not who I am" - My self-worth is not based on what I get paid, how many benefits I get, or what my job title is. Its simply a means to an end...a way for me to be able to enjoy the things I love in my life.

2. "I've done the best I could with the time I have" - I do the best I can to prioritize my work, and I'm sure you do as well. The truth is...there isn't enough time in our work day to complete the tasks given us, so forgive yourself. Its not a reflection of who you are, its a reflection of the employment times.

I know you're going to get through this. Just having the written conversation with yourself is a huge step forward. Good luck, Jen!

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PAMTHEDREAMER 6/8/2010 11:55PM

    I can relate to how hard it is to open yourself up and share your thoughts-your likes, your dislikes; your apprehension; your desires. Know that you are not- nor will you ever be-alone.
We've all felt what you've expressed here. "Why me?" and then "I don't have any right to say 'why me'"? - And it's okay. It's simply the human condition.
I like your creative pondering. I do believe you're on to something and what's more; whatever is yet to come-you're going to do fabulous! emoticon emoticon
Pam :)

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GOLFINGIRL4 6/8/2010 11:17AM

    I can totally relate to what your saying.

I was there at one point but then I went to a seminar where they talked about the Energy Model ( I think its something that was made up, not an actual model that you could Google to look up)

Its based on the idea that you have a vision for your ideal and instead of focusing on all the shoulds ( What I should have, or what i should be, or what I should do) you focusing on all the things you do have have, or are doing ect.... It then says that when your working in the "shoulds" your always striving and never happy enough. Its a constant push to get where you want to be. But instead if you focus on what to do have or are doing, with a clear vision of your "ideal" your in a natural flow towards it. Your working with inspiration and commitment rather then expectations and obligations. I believe the name energy model comes from the thought that it take much more energy to push something rather then to flow with it.

That probably is a poor explanation but it helped me SOOOO much and I now love my job and don't hate getting up in the morning and having to go into the office. Hang in there things will get better!

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SEEHOLZ 6/8/2010 10:46AM

    First off, congrats on the 8th grade graduation!

Anyways, regarding this blog:

I'm with you on a lot of those things- the depression- for sure.
Stress makes it STRONG for me and I am always questioning it all.
But, maybe that's what would happen if other jobs as well? Not sure... anyways, keep hanging in and do what's right for you. It's great that you CAN work part-time.

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MJLUVSANIMALS 6/8/2010 10:33AM

    First thing be happy you at least have a job. A lot of us have lost our jobs over the last couple of years. It's disheartening
Make the best of your job. Work around those little quirks. It will pass, it sounds like you are going through a slump. I had those days, when I worked, would give anything to have even those back. Put all your effort into your family, leave work at work. Put on your happiest face at work, and trudge through,
you will be fine. emoticon

Just an added note. I have a friend that finally after a year, from being laid off of our jobs, found a job, her pay is 1/3 of what she made with us, and no benefits. I told her at least she has something, until something better comes along. Maybe the same for you, keep looking for something that suits you. A lot of people work out of their home, and they like it alot.

Comment edited on: 6/8/2010 10:36:53 AM

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NUTRIGIRL08 6/8/2010 10:27AM

    I'm going something similar! I left a high paying, position but stressful job to a good pay lower position absolutely no stress job so that I wouldn't have the long hours or travel. Now my hubby is on nights so I feel the change happened because God knew this was coming up (among other reasons) because it wouldn't have worked had I had the old job. But I don't really feel this is where I want to be. I really want to be home with my kids but that isn't feasible right now or is it? I go through so many things in my head too! Anyway I'm babbling instead of giving you encouraging thoughts. I like how you said God is in control! I think we both need to hold onto that! emoticon

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RUNTRILAUGH 6/8/2010 10:25AM

    wow.... although not in the same situation, i can really identify with your feelings. you are not alone!

i do think you have a good action plan, and as long as you stay positive, this too shall pass


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SDTALLY 6/8/2010 10:10AM

    I think back to things that I would have liked to have not done, or places that weren't my favorite, etc. But then I look at NOW. I am so pleased to be exactly where I am, and I recognize that there is no way I would be here unless I had done everything EXACTLY the way that I did.

When I look at it that way, there is no way I can regret anything that I did. Look around at all the wonderful things in your life. Your kids, your husband, even your choice of careers - sure you might like to have a little better condition, but the TYPE of work seems to make you happy.

I'm sure this introspection is temporary - we all do it sometimes - I just look to the good stuff & let that be the points that I dwell on!


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an OWS, a bike ride and a run --hey thats a tri!!!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

We (my family and i) piled into the car at 7:30am and took off for the Catskills (Wilson State Park). We had packed a picnic and swimsuits and were looking forward to a couple of hours at the park and to check out its campsites while my training partner(rachel) and I completed the tri course-- a summer series takes place there once a month for the next 4 months.. I am not a member of the club that is part of this series but my friend is... she has her first tri in the series this Wednesday. Got to the lake-- quite beautiful -- very secluded-- we had the lake to ourselves -Yay!! got the wetsuit on.. it was fun for Jay and the kids to see me with the suit on as they hadnt as of yet.. we got into the water fairly quickly.... it was a hot humid day today so the water was pretty nice.. the weeds were pretty thick, the water dark... no seeing the bottom!! emoticonmakes me swim faster!!
got to the other side of the lake -- rested and came back.. i am bad with distances but i know we swam past the point that the club turns around at...

got dressed before we got on the bikes... this is a detail i havent really worked on yet.. i really need a tri outfit -- dont have one -- changed into shorts and top and off we went.. we did the 12 mile course --- i have been biking but obviously i have NOT BEEN DOING HILLS... these were mega-uber hills.. its the mountains , duh!! so i will put that down as something i for sure need to work on.. i totally struggled...
got off the bike-- Jay had taken the kids on a mini-hike so i let myself finish this tri up (i sort of was resigned that if they werent into waiting for me , i would stop) we got in an almost 2 mile run and i kept up with my partner.... yay!! maybe i had a good day and she didnt have such a good day with the running but i was really happy to finish strong..
i am was thankful s to have gone through the motions of doing this tri on my own ( with the help of a friend) !! i feel like i know what to expect and to do 3 things in one short span makes me feel accomplished.. according to the fitness tracker i burned a little over 1300 cals.. wow!!right on!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTRIGIRL08 6/6/2010 5:17PM

    Sounds like you had an awesome weekend and training tri!!! Keep it up and you will be ready!!

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KAYOTIC 6/6/2010 10:23AM

    Great job! What a great idea to go out and "tri" on your own...I imagine that experience would come in handy on race day!

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    wow, I am just starting to ride a little, swim a little, and walk a little faster.... I guess I never really thought that putting them together - you are amazzzzzzzing!

Thank you for the photos too! You are absolutely radiant.

I hope you don't mind I friended you so I can watch your amazingness

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JIM-LEMKE 6/6/2010 9:16AM

    Great blog! Love the pics!

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    Woo Hoo! A great day and a great training session. How awesome to have friends and family with you!


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    YOU ARE A ROCK STAR! WOW! That is awesome and you look great! I KNOW that must have felt wonderful to accomplish that. You are so inspiring! Who knew 2.5 yrs ago that you would be here today?! WOW. Keep up the great work.

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FISHING88 6/5/2010 10:46PM

    You are doing awesome!!!! Work on those hills and you will be good to go!

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SORGIN 6/5/2010 9:54PM

    You look so happy! I am so glad you shared this and I am grinning from ear to ear for you. This is simply incredible! You came up with a plan, you were there to support a friend, your family was there to support you and you have a plan B just in case. Now that's what I call being successful at the work/life balance! YAY!

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    You've just really been able to approach this from a perfect training perspective, haven't you? How completely wonderful that you have such a terrific support group, Jen. You should most definitely feel accomplished and be very proud! You've come so far in the two years I've known you!

Thanks for posting this. Oh, and the wet suit's a great fashion statement! LOL.

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Darn it , that was fun!! first OWS (open water swim) report

Thursday, June 03, 2010

this past weekend was my first OWS... i was nervous and the word DREAD kept coming to mind... 7 am and black cold water did not sound like a good time.. so it happened to be an amazingly beautiful morning.. warm and really sunny!!! that really really helped... everything was so still that early in the morning.. i arrived at my coach's friend's lake (private) and there was a group of women (first-timers as well) suiting up in their wet suits.. a few laughs later-- i started putting it on inside out.... we got the suit on.. i was amazed ... quite comfortable.. Barb is lending me the suit.. who knows how much the thing is but wetsuits are in the hundreds.. no cash for that right now!! so thank goodness she has several on loan.. we all stood on the dock and Barb says... lets go.. the water isnt coming to you.. i get in and the plan is to swim along the shore.. no real deep water... i would say that we had to swim about 4 lengths of the pool to this one dock and back several times.. at any time, i could stand up in the water-- it was that shallow..
so i have been speed swimming in my environmentally controlled pool.... there is nostuff on the bottom --yuck!! or the choppy water or the sheer increased distance of this OWS... oh yeah and the suit.. pretty comfortable but for sure not used to swimming with this thing on..

Barb and Jean stayed in the canoe while we kept going back and forth... Barb kept telling me to calm down, stop kicking so fast... i guess i was pumped up, nervous.....i slowed down and got into pacing myself... the water really was quite nice.. i would say 65-68 degrees... after many summers of swimming at the Cape in 55 degree water as a kid anything is warmer...

sooooooo, i can actually say that i RELUCTANTLY got out of the water... the lake is amazingly beautiful... all i could think of is gratitude that i had this opportunity to swim in a lake which i have not done in YEARS (nor had any interest) as i got out one of my training friends asked how i liked it... and without thinking i responded 'THAT WAS SO COOL... I HAD SO MUCH FUN!" and that, my friends, FOR ME... is what this physical activity thing this year has become all about... fun fun fun... i cant tell you how challenging it was to put myself in that water and how strenuous it was to actually swim that hour... but in the end i can truly say i loved it...we got off our suits and went for a 2 mile run... i stopped at 2 -- had to get home and take a hike with the family!!
looking forward to going out on another lake this coming Saturday!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CPRENSCH 6/3/2010 11:00PM

    The one thing holding me back from saying I'd ever do a tri is the OWS. I always say if I get tired in a marathon I can just walk but if I get tired swimming ... I drown! lol! Our local Parks department is offering OWS lessons and I pondered it for a moment. This has me thinking on it again. Hmmmm ... maybe next year? ;)

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NUTRIGIRL08 6/3/2010 9:32PM

    Good for you! Glad you are getting some practices in before hand!!

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DRAGONFLY1974 6/3/2010 5:58PM

    WOOHOO!!! I'm still terrified of OWSs!

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    We used to swim in lots of different lakes when I was a kid. I don't know what happened, but now it kind of freaks me out when I can't see the bottom. I'm not scared about how deep it is - I'm a decent swimmer; it's just that I can't SEE what is there. Weird huh?

I'm glad it was such a good experience for you!


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CRYSBROWN1 6/3/2010 3:58PM

    Congrats! Your enthusiasm made me feel a bit better as I have yet to set foot into the open water yet in preparation for my tri, perhaps it won't be so bad after all!

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JUMPSTART* 6/3/2010 3:36PM


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EVETROY 6/3/2010 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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    Wonderful swim, and wonderful attitude!

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RAWKNRUN 6/3/2010 2:00PM

  It is weird isn't it? My first tri was on the bay side of Cape Cod, after only swimming in the pool I was totally freaked out! LOL, the lake is much better than the ocean!

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    Well, look at little fish you! So glad you're finding fun in your fitness! Congrats again on another first!

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OWS-- "open water swim" first time in 2 days!!

Friday, May 28, 2010

this weekend will be my first open water swim.. i am wearing a wet suit.. the temp of the water is 62 degrees... i have been practicing swimming in a pool the last 2 months.. but i hear swimming with the wet suit is a whole other experience.. so keep me in mind at 7am!!! on Sunday morning.. i dont do ANYTHING that early and certainly jumping into a cold lake borders on INSANE right now.. its so not me that i am laughing about it.. but i am willing to try it~~~

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SORGIN 6/1/2010 9:21AM

    Cool! I can't wait to hear how it went!

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PAMTHEDREAMER 5/29/2010 10:31PM

    Right-on!!How was it? Do tell! How exciting!!

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    Wow! Have a good swim. And you will feel so strong after you accomplish this swim. Let us know how it goes.

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CAROLYN1ALASKA 5/28/2010 4:01PM

    Good luck!
When I did my one and only tri in a wet suit, same water temperature too, I found that it was MUCH easier. I was so buoyant. The only problem that I hadn't considered was seeing over the top of the waves.
At least you won't get too cold.
All the best!

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LASOLLER 5/28/2010 1:09PM

    My first OWS is tomorrow followed by a 20-30 mile bike ride. I am very nervous too, however, I am going to stay close to the side. The event that I am going to lets you borrow wetsuits (free) to try on and use in your OWS. I will be thinking about you on Sunday! YES, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

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EVETROY 5/28/2010 12:44PM


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MARATHONMOM26.2 5/28/2010 12:41PM

    As the others said, you hot this. You get up to race at 7, right? The lake will be so quiet and glassy at that hour... It will be beautiful. The wetsuit will make you buoyant so you won't have to kick as hard to stay afloat but you'll have a bit more resistance to overcome. And once you get over that initial chill water temp will be forgotten! Looking forward to hearing about it...

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LILPAT3 5/28/2010 11:21AM

    Best of luck! My first open water swim ever is next weekend. Water won't be too cold (no wetsuit) but I am definitely nervous. I know you will do fine. emoticon

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CRYSBROWN1 5/28/2010 10:11AM

    Good luck, can't wait to hear all about it! I have yet to venture into the water yet with a wet suit, I've heawrd it's way different so I'm curious as to how it goes.

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NUTRIGIRL08 5/28/2010 10:07AM

    Oh you will do just fine. I'm getting in the lake too this weekend but our temp is over 70+ so I think I will be okay. I've decided to do my tri next weekend without a wetsuit. Well at least right now. We will see after I do a couple of OWS!!! Good luck and look forward to hearing about it!!! emoticon

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BSTAKINGACTION 5/28/2010 10:03AM

    I"m so excited for you! I'm terrified of open water...the open water around me is Lake Michigan...the little mini ocean. Yeah...dark waters freak me out. I'm following your exploits on the edge of my seat! Can't wait to hear about it! I'll be thinking of you!

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RUNTRILAUGH 5/28/2010 10:01AM

    Will do! But from following your training and perserverance, you've got this!!!


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ANEPANALIPTI 5/28/2010 9:58AM


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