JENNAAW   40,112
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JENNAAW's Recent Blog Entries

basking in the glory of virtual 5k

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

I am so proud of myself for completing the virtual 5k yesterday; was not sure I could do this distance after going so long without distance training. I guess there was some transfer from my usual spinning and elliptical work. I do treadmill work every week too, but mostly only 20 minute sessions with jog/run or walk/sprint intervals. Not really the same as training for a 5k. I am very worried about wrecking my old, crunchy knees so I went at a very easy pace for the 5k. I am in no hurry to improve my 43 minute time; I will see how my knees do. I expected my calves to be all crampy this morning, but so far no problem! A funny thing happened last night- I reclined on my couch to watch Hell's Kitchen, one of my favorite shows, and when I got up I could barely walk from what felt like fluids pooling in my whole body from the 5k! That went away quickly after I started walking around again. I feel better than great this morning. I am aiming for a light gym day; focus on core work with stability ball, planks, pushups, and elliptical trainer workout.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOBOELI 11/18/2012 12:41PM

    That is so great I know you feel so proud and you should

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SOXYINMO 7/6/2012 6:57AM

    Congratulations!!!!!! emoticon

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PRETTYAIRA 7/3/2012 8:31AM

    Wow you did it already. I am also on the same goal. I have been running for days now but I don't have the means to track the miles. Oh well... congratulations!

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this has got to be for good

Friday, June 29, 2012

I read the featured blog entry from the member who strayed from her eating goals, and it made me reflect on some positive changes I have noticed in my eating habits. These are huge changes for an almost lifetime binge eater like me. In the past, every time I strayed from my planned eating I would revert to unregulated overeating. I would feel guilty and think what the heck, I will wait until things are "better" to get back on track. Of course that resulted in my old binge eating, lots of unhappiness, and big weight gains. This time I have decided to not feel guilty about going off track; just get back as soon as possible without guilt and beating myself up. It works! I thoroughly enjoyed eating all my nostalgic favorites when I went back home to family recently, and had the added challenge of it not being a happy visit because it had to do with the death of my parents. Eating my family favorites was comforting to me, and with my new guilt-free attitude I actually was able to limit my portions a lot better than in the past. I feel liberated and optimistic. It will not be easy to reach my goal weight, but I truly feel I will do it this time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIBANANA 6/29/2012 8:43AM

  What a great attitude. Learning to control binge eating is going to be the key for you it sounds like.

Keep Sparking

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back home yet again

Monday, June 25, 2012

Back from nine days of stressful travel- everything was high stress from the fully packed planes to the sad family events. I don't go home to where my family is very often, so I loaded up when there on nostalgic favorites- cream pies, donuts, club sandwich, gourmet cupcake, lots of white carbs. I still ate far less than I used to, so when I got back home I did not register a gain although I certainly did not keep on track with my goals. Before leaving to return home, I discovered a coin operated scale in a mall restroom. Best quarter I ever spent; it reminded me to get right back to healthy eating. I did not have much computer access (my laptop died the moment I got there!) and instead of resorting to paper and pen food journaling I just relied on my conscience lol! The hotel I stayed at had a gym so I worked out every day. I am sure that saved me from a very unhappy weigh in today. I used the exercise ball, free weights, treadmill, and elliptical trainer. I went on a steep hike that burned my quads; that motivated me to start using the step machine at my gym now that I am back. I am happy to be back home and am looking forward to a little rest and healthy eating. Have a mountain of bills waiting for me to pay! I feel triumphant about the portions I ate of the high calorie, low nutrition foods. It used to be half a cream pie, 2-6 donuts, 2-3 cupcakes... etc. etc. but now I had single slices of pie, one donut, one cupcake... for me a HUGE change.


feel so humiliated

Monday, June 11, 2012

Yesterday I fainted at the gym after I felt extremely dizzy, nauseated, and had the worst headache in my life. It was a 90 degree day outside but I was clammy and in a cold sweat all the time. (The gym was nicely air conditioned.) My husband knew something was very wrong with me because I push through almost anything at the gym. He stopped his workout immediately and took me to the nearest hospital and I was given an IV; apparently had dehydration. When I was discharged from the hospital, I was given a report of my visit, and at the end of the report it said “obese”. Hopefully they were looking at some older data on me before coming to that awful conclusion, because the page said I weighed 144. In recent weeks I have lost nearly 10 pounds so I do not weigh 144 any more! When I will fall out of the obese category is what I would like to know. (I was in no shape to ask yesterday!) The good news is that the nausea and headache are gone today, so I can give it another try at spinning class tonight. I wonder if it is a new trend for hospitals to leave comments on people’s weights in their discharge papers. I used to weigh 183; never had any notations then and I certainly was way too heavy! Ironic that now that I am trying hard to move out of obesity I am reminded of it this way. My feelings are pretty sensitive right now. I am so tired of being fat.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOXYINMO 6/11/2012 9:18PM

    That's a word that really hurts! Especially when you are working so hard to change your life. You are headed in the right direction! Keep up the good work!


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DARA52 6/11/2012 4:51PM

    They were looking at your old weight. Scary what else they might have missed.

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OOLALA53 6/11/2012 2:39PM

    Would you be humiliated by your blood pressure or cholesterol? The category on a chart is just a medical term. Physicians take many pieces of info into consideration and they have their own shorthand. If your correct height and weight were recorded, then you might fall in that category, but a good doctor will take into account other factors as well. They know that short people and tall people are not well represented by BMI. So what? You know what you are doing for yourself in life. You are more than what's on the chart, but the chart has to be efficient for its purposes. The chart is not for you to measure your life. You don't need to measure your life. You just live it. And you are doing a great job. emoticon

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JENNAAW 6/11/2012 10:26AM

    MISSG, you raise a very good point (hopefully others can learn from this) that one has to advocate for himself/herself these days in medical situations. I was raised to totally trust doctors and medical staffs, and not to question. I know better now, but the sad truth is the times when you need to speak up for yourself and ask questions can be when you are least able to. I was in such a bad way yesterday all I could focus on was surviving. I formed a pact with my husband that if one of us gets seriously hurt or ill, the other will be there with notepad, pen, and prepared to get informed on everything!

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MISSG180 6/11/2012 10:21AM

    Unless you are three feet tall, 144 is NOT obese! That's insane!

Any time you see anything on your medical charts that is wrong, don't hesitate to speak up, and by "speak up" I mean "throw a fit if necessary." Future doctors look at those charts, and they need to be right.

Do not feel humiliated. You did nothing wrong.

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DUTCHIE77 6/11/2012 9:45AM

    Ignore all the labels and simply listen to your body. You now know some of your unique warning signs that tell you when you are pushing too hard - be in tune with those and pull back when you start to notice them. It sounds like your are doing an amazing job but pushing to dehydration or total exhaustion can be scary!

Enjoy spin class tonight and bring your water bottle along :)

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JENNAAW 6/11/2012 9:20AM

    Workin' on it, STARLITE. Hope you are doing great!

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STARLITE777 6/11/2012 9:18AM

  Dont let want people say or do bother you. you kinda have to be thick skinned. Just keep moving... emoticon

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JENNAAW 6/11/2012 9:01AM

    Thanks NELLJONES.

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NELLJONES 6/11/2012 9:00AM

    Remember that when you see a health care professional it is one point in time. You get to see the trend: that's why it's a good idea to be in the regular care of your primary care doctor. As long as you are on the way to "better" you are fine. I'm glad you are feeling better today. Keep your eye on the long timeline!! This will be one of those anecdotes you can share with new people some day, when they are distraught over their weight, and you know the way out.

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JENNAAW 6/11/2012 8:47AM

    Thank you, LILDOLLY. My husband keeps telling me that too. But that doesn't seem to stop me from feeling like I am stabbed every time I am reminded of my weight. I have loathed myself for most of my life because of my weight and find that it is very hard to change my self-perception. Intellectually I know this is wrong, but I am having difficulties. Why do I loathe myself? Because my weight and lack of fitness ruined things for my friends and loved ones too many times. I had to drop out of everything from carnival rides to hikes because I simply could not keep up.

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LILDOLLY 6/11/2012 8:42AM

    You are not fat! or obese! Sometimes health care professionals are very insensitive or "too busy" to check their information. Entirely disregard what the report said.

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A doctor noticed!

Friday, June 08, 2012

I had an annual visit to one of my many doctors, and he did a quick calculation when he saw my chart. He praised me for my weight loss from a year ago to the day. Sure made my day! There is a different doctor I need to go to in a few months; it would be almost a year and a half since my last visit to him. He is the one who told me I have to lose loads of weight "or else" I would be heading down the path to a host of medical problems. It will be interesting to see how he reacts. Problem is he sees tons of patients assembly line fashion, and most of the time he spends with me is sitting down looking at my records. He confused me with someone last time and asked me how I was recovering from my heart surgery. I never had heart problems or surgery, for sure! I think there is an excellent chance that he will not even compare my weigh ins. Anyone else have a doctor like this? I would love to get a better one, but it is almost impossible to find one and I have had worse in the past.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNAAW 6/8/2012 12:42PM

    Well now I am dumping about gripes I have with this doctor; when I go for checkups I am always weighed in front of other patients who are sitting in a kind of holding pen waiting for an examining room, and the assistant loudly calls out my weight. I don't need additional humiliation to being fat! Honest, I see those people look up at me when my weight is called.

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FLEURGARDEN 6/8/2012 12:38PM

    Congrats on losing the weight *and* the doctor noticing! I'm hoping my doctor notices when I go for a check-up in another six months.

I agree that you should find a new doctor. I am in the process of looking for a new one myself. My other doctor wasn't "negligent" or anything, but I realized that information I communicated to the nurse when I called in was never noted in my charts and I would have to repeat everything each time I called. I worred about miscommunication and the possible bad implications from that.

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 6/8/2012 11:43AM

    The doctor who doesn't know you, the conditions or surgery you have or have had - is DANGEROUS! iF HE IS SO CARELESS - READ "CARE LESS" you do need to find someone who actually gets it right. If you HAVE TO keep him, express your concern when you go in the door. He sounds like a money receptacle, not a doctor. If he's just looking at records, they may be someone else's - or he may have entered the wrong info in yours at the tail end of a too busy day. Oooooh, so risky. Scary. Eeeew. God bless you - and you can do better than that doctor.(Don't forget - medical records follow you throughout your life, and can affect your employability. If there is a history of a heart condition or heart surgery ERRONEOUSLY on any of your records, it could make you uninsureable and therefore not able to be hired by potential employers. That is really serious - I would demand a complete copy of my medical records from that doctor!!!!)

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MYBLUEIRIS 6/8/2012 11:07AM

    That's awesome that a doctor noticed and also took the time to praise you for your weight loss! That is just so cool! Hang on to that moment! You deserve the praise!


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