Friday, June 29, 2012
I read the featured blog entry from the member who strayed from her eating goals, and it made me reflect on some positive changes I have noticed in my eating habits. These are huge changes for an almost lifetime binge eater like me. In the past, every time I strayed from my planned eating I would revert to unregulated overeating. I would feel guilty and think what the heck, I will wait until things are "better" to get back on track. Of course that resulted in my old binge eating, lots of unhappiness, and big weight gains. This time I have decided to not feel guilty about going off track; just get back as soon as possible without guilt and beating myself up. It works! I thoroughly enjoyed eating all my nostalgic favorites when I went back home to family recently, and had the added challenge of it not being a happy visit because it had to do with the death of my parents. Eating my family favorites was comforting to me, and with my new guilt-free attitude I actually was able to limit my portions a lot better than in the past. I feel liberated and optimistic. It will not be easy to reach my goal weight, but I truly feel I will do it this time.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Back from nine days of stressful travel- everything was high stress from the fully packed planes to the sad family events. I don't go home to where my family is very often, so I loaded up when there on nostalgic favorites- cream pies, donuts, club sandwich, gourmet cupcake, lots of white carbs. I still ate far less than I used to, so when I got back home I did not register a gain although I certainly did not keep on track with my goals. Before leaving to return home, I discovered a coin operated scale in a mall restroom. Best quarter I ever spent; it reminded me to get right back to healthy eating. I did not have much computer access (my laptop died the moment I got there!) and instead of resorting to paper and pen food journaling I just relied on my conscience lol! The hotel I stayed at had a gym so I worked out every day. I am sure that saved me from a very unhappy weigh in today. I used the exercise ball, free weights, treadmill, and elliptical trainer. I went on a steep hike that burned my quads; that motivated me to start using the step machine at my gym now that I am back. I am happy to be back home and am looking forward to a little rest and healthy eating. Have a mountain of bills waiting for me to pay! I feel triumphant about the portions I ate of the high calorie, low nutrition foods. It used to be half a cream pie, 2-6 donuts, 2-3 cupcakes... etc. etc. but now I had single slices of pie, one donut, one cupcake... for me a HUGE change.
Friday, June 08, 2012
I had an annual visit to one of my many doctors, and he did a quick calculation when he saw my chart. He praised me for my weight loss from a year ago to the day. Sure made my day! There is a different doctor I need to go to in a few months; it would be almost a year and a half since my last visit to him. He is the one who told me I have to lose loads of weight "or else" I would be heading down the path to a host of medical problems. It will be interesting to see how he reacts. Problem is he sees tons of patients assembly line fashion, and most of the time he spends with me is sitting down looking at my records. He confused me with someone last time and asked me how I was recovering from my heart surgery. I never had heart problems or surgery, for sure! I think there is an excellent chance that he will not even compare my weigh ins. Anyone else have a doctor like this? I would love to get a better one, but it is almost impossible to find one and I have had worse in the past.
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
This is the FIRST time since I started my first diet at age 12 that I attended a function with dreamy desserts (pretty tartlets, cheesecakes, and brownies drive me wild) and managed to take only one dessert; a chocolate chip cookie! I publicly announced to my husband that I am done with dieting; instead I am going to do full-focus on new attitudes toward food. I used to have my own version of that portion plate that shows how much of various food groups to have- half dessert, a fourth carbs, and a fourth “other”. It is a wonder I didn’t even gain more weight over the years than I did! I am realistic, this does not mean I will be a one dessert girl forevermore. I achieved this triumph by mentally picturing myself at the event before I left home. I pictured myself at the buffet line passing up rolls and substituting potato salad for a small portion of bean salad. I am glad that many functions involving buffets seem to offer more healthy choices than in the past. Another first for me was that I ate normal meals before leaving- in the past, I would have skipped eating at home due to guilt and the thought that I would be able to eat more calories at the event. This would result not only in eating too much out, but also feeling hungry later that day and eating again! A “normal” eater would think, “So what is such a big deal about all that?” but for a lifetime binge eater like me, these are huge steps.
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