Saturday, May 15, 2010
I've spent the last two weeks in Central America (Honduras and Panama). And, predictably, I picked up a pretty virulent bug in Honduras. So virulent, in fact, that I ended up in the hospital in Panama. This wasn't a horrible thing, though: I was badly dehydrated and really did need medical attention. (Getting me to the hospital was like giving a cat a bath. I protested during the whole discussion and even until we parked the car at the hospital. Thank goodness my colleagues are smarter than I am and forced me to go.) And the quality of care in the Punta Pacifica hospital was great - it's a Johns Hopkins affiliate, which I didn't know. In some ways it was better than in the U.S. - I didn't have to spend hours in a waiting room. They got me right into a bed in the ER and saw me right away. And the hospital visit was surprisingly affordable - just under $400 for the whole shooting match, including medications.
So I spent the last three days of my stay in Panama locked in my hotel room with some Pedialyte. I came home yesterday, and got through the grueling 12 hour day just fine. So I thought I could handle solid food again. Boy, was I wrong. I am paying that price today.
Awful as I feel, I'm irked that my SparkPeople goals have gone completely to the way side. Obviously I can't work out; I can barely do laundry. I haven't bothered to track my food. I'm trying to consume calories by drinking fruit juice mixed with ginger ale, but I figure I'm nowhere near my recommended range. Plus, I don't think the food is in me long enough to truly get absorbed. Am I crazy here? Should I be tracking?
The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm getting my water in. Liquid diets are great for that.
One unintended upside is that I'm quite sure I'm losing weight. Yes, yes, I know this isn't the way to do it. Trust me, I'd much rather not. But I've got to try to find a silver lining in here somewhere.
Oh, that and being home. It's MUCH easier to manage this thing at home than in a hotel room in a foreign country. Yup, I'm grateful for that.
So is the answer that I need to just let it go and be sick? And worry about it when I get better?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
I spent most of this afternoon going through clothes. I started with three boxes (!) of size 14s and larges, plus a few stray 12s and mediums, that I haven't been able to wear in over a year. I've almost worked my way through them all and the majority of them fit. I have one medium box of clothes that almost fit or will need to sit for a little while longer. There's no room for most of these clothes in my closet and drawers, so I'll have to make room by weeding out things that are now too big. I ship this stuff to my mom, who is also using SparkPeople and has already lost 14 pounds. She started bigger than I am, so she fits into my old 16s quite nicely now. I had one box almost full; I think I'll have 2 ready for her by the end of the afternoon.
So I should be ecstatic, right?
Somehow, no. Instead I'm berating myself for not working harder and feeling guilty and blue. (DH is not home, or he'd have put a stop to this already. And yes, I'm incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful and supportive spouse.) But I do have a point: I have not been working as hard as I should have. And I know it. Miraculously I'm still losing circumference but I gained a pound last week. I'm afraid to step on the scale tomorrow - yesterday was Spanish Night at my boss's and tonight DH and I are supposed to go out for a super fancy dinner for his birthday.
Yes, I know all the tips and tricks of how to go to a party and/or eat out and still stick to my plan. But I totally ignored it last night; the Spanish food was just too tempting. (My boss lived in Madrid for three years, is a great cook, and lives near an European food market. How do you say no? Especially because he's my BOSS...)
I have not been to the gym lately. And I haven't even been that good about SparkPeople tracking, which is highly unusual for me. I've also slid a bit on the nutrition. Everyone goes through this, and like everyone else I have the same old excuses. Work has been absolutely insane. The house is a disaster area since I haven't had the energy to clean due to the aforementioned work situation. I tell myself I don't have time for the gym, which is stupid because I get 3 hours on the clock every week for the gym. Eating right and getting 8 hours of sleep and 8 glasses a water a day is the only thing keeping me going. But it's just not enough. I want the scale to move and I want to feel about myself. It isn't, and I don't. And I feel awful about it.
So what to do? Being largely of Prussian descent, I tend to just push through on sheer willpower. But that ain't workin' anymore; it seems to take all of my willpower and organization skills just to get through the day let alone focus on the big picture. The usual motivators for me - smaller clothes, comments from coworkers, etc., aren't working. Not even new photos, which for me a very big thing; it's about the only time I'm objective about what I look like. (I blogged about this previously.)
How do I get that motivation and willpower back? This is a very tough question for me. Just blogging about it makes me feel better, calmer. And I think I might have some ideas.
1. Let myself off the hook for backsliding the past week or so. What's done is done and it can't be changed.
2. Plan ahead. Plan meals on Sundays for the whole week and put together my food for work (breakfast, lunch, and snack - I work 10 hour days) the night before.
3. Focus on what I need to do every day, one day at a time. No more and no less.
4. GET MY BUTT TO THE GYM. NO EXCUSES.
5. Keep it simple. Don't add new steps to the plan or unnecessarily complicate things.
6. Celebrate internally every time I put on new clothes or smaller old clothes.
7. Savor progress and reward myself for it.
Okay, good plan. Now comes the hard part: executing it. I know that if I don't do it, I'll backslide and gain weight again. (I've been here before.) I've sworn to myself so many times that this time it's different because it's a permanent lifestyle change, not a diet. So here's where the rubber meets the road. This is my chance to prove to myself that this is permanent and real.
Wish me luck!
Friday, February 05, 2010
As you can all see on my weight loss ticker, the scale has hardly budged this month. Ugh.
BUT I measured myself today, and I'm down 8 total inches! You know, an inch off the thigh, 2 off the bust, etc.
The scale had me discouraged even though I knew that I was losing circumference: my clothes are getting looser all the time. Still, I was annoyed and discouraged and kinda felt like giving up. Not good.
My January consistency goal and today's measurements are keeping me on track, though. It's fantastic to see progress, even if it's not the kind you were looking for.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Probably like a lot of you lady sparkers, I'm the main driver behind healthy eating and lifestyle in my household. My husband knows that when I've made up my mind, that's it. He can either get on board the train or get run over by it. Patrick decided to hop on board, albeit reluctantly.
So for three weeks or so we went on like this. I insisted on eating healthy, and reminding him that we don't want to end up with severe health problems in our 50s like our parents. I went to the gym, he didn't. Patrick did help me with meal planning; I think he likes having some control over what's on his plate.
Then everything changed this weekend.
Sunday we sat down to plan our meals and write the grocery list as usual. Then I sent him to the grocery store with our list while I ran another errand next door. When I found him in the grocery store, he'd only added two items not on the list: extra fruit for me and chips for him. So far, so normal, right?
The fruit was very thoughtful. (Which, thankfully, is normal for him.) But he'd BOTHERED TO READ THE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION on his chips. And chose baked ones low in fat and cholesterol.
Health food? Probably not. But hubby read the nutritional information - all on his own! Breakthrough!
Later that night he fixed dinner (whole wheat pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs) while I worked out on the Wii fit. He asked me if I could step away for a minute and make a salad to go with dinner.
I almost fell off the balance board! Could this really be MY husband, requesting a salad? The man in the kitchen didn't appear to be a pod person, so I made him a salad. Loaded with vegetables he specifically requested. Weird, but delightful.
After dinner I got back on the Wii while he talked with his dad on the phone. He saw how much fun I was having and jumped on as soon as he finished chatting. This was at 10:30 at night!
Since then Patrick has stayed on the healthy diet, working out plan. Because he wants to and enjoys it.
I am so proud of him. And relieved, because this will make our healthy lifestyle journey easier. And deeply joyed because it means we'll have many years of health and happiness. Way to go, Patrick!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Last weekend was the second of my three wedding receptions, and we had family and friends in from out of town. We ate out almost every meal, and of course the h'ors derves that we served at the reception weren't exactly health food. Oh, and of course there's the cake. And the restaurant desserts. Ugh.
BUT I did the best I could. I stuck to my plan all week, and was reasonably careful at the restaurants on the weekend. I limited my dessert intake despite my husband's best efforts.
Yesterday was the moment of truth: weigh in. And, shockingly, I stayed dead even. I didn't gain an ounce! I didn't lose either, but I'm still really proud of myself for just holding even. Sometimes the best you can do is just tread water, and last weekend was one of those times. I'm really proud of myself for doing that.
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