JENJESS48   51,293
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Friday, October 07, 2011

I started out 2011 very strong, losing 10 pounds by February. Since then I've only dropped 3 real pounds, losing and gaining the same pounds over and over again. And I'm heartily sick of it. While I love all the positive comments on my friend feed every time I lose a pound, it also disheartens me because I know that I'm truly only re-losing the same pound I re-gained last week.

This week I reached a new level of frustration. I have been reasonably diligent about keeping to my simplified program but it's not enough. It's time to level up. Losing inches is great, but the pounds have GOT TO GO. I'm more than halfway to goal weight, but the remaining fluff just doesn't want to budge. So I'm going on the offensive. I changed my ticker to show how many pounds I have left (27). I will update only with pounds lost, not the occasional (and inevitable) gain so that it accurately reflects how far I have to go - and I stop fooling myself and others into thinking that I'm losing more than I am by a deceptive friend feed. I will redouble my efforts on both fitness and food tracking. So far this month I've done pretty well at both. But the name of the game now needs to be CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY.

Why, after so many months, am I doing this now?

emoticon YOOVIE's blog about fear of success really resonated with me and got me thinking about why I've stalled out.

emoticon DH and I are seriously talking about trying to start a family in the spring. And I am NOT where I want to before I get pregnant. Pregnancy will be much easier if I am slimmer and in better physical condition.

emoticon I want to only have to worry about baby weight after giving birth, not baby weight plus the other stuff I was carrying before pregnancy.

emoticon A while back KITHKINCAID shared in a blog that one of her secrets to success is only updating her weight when she loses, not when she gains. It's a way of saying "Eh, temporary gains happen. Get over it and move forward." Plus it feels more honest to me and I want that right now.

emoticon I finally am just at breaking point with the constant 3-pound up-and-down wobble. Sick to death.

[deep breath] Okay. Resetting the ticker is a great first step. But I also have to get it MOVING. To do this I will:

emoticon Religiously track my food. No matter if it's difficult, annoying, or I just don't wanna. Do it anyway.

emoticon Do some sort of fitness activity every day. Like I said in my last blog, walking, yoga, and Wii fit count because I'm trying to work on flexibility, hand-eye coordination, and agility. But they only count if I am also doing 3 heart-pumping cardio sessions and 2 ST sessions a week.

emoticon Level up the ST. What I am doing now just isn't working me hard enough. The trainer at the gym at work has a reputation for bad-a$$ ST routines. I'm going to go talk to him and see what he can do for me.

emoticon Track my calories burned for a few weeks of consistent fitness, average it out, and update my nutrition goals accordingly.

This had better work: if it doesn't, I don't know what will. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I'd really love to hear them!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLYFINT 10/12/2011 7:32PM

    Hey Jen! While I can empathize with the frustration, I feel like you're being very hard on yourself. Having said that, it's GREAT to mix things up and toughen your routines when you've hit a plateau...just don't beat yourself up about it! The steps you've outlined to bust the blues are reasonable and very sound... GOOD LUCK!!!

Family talk sounds exciting :) Sending y'all my best wishes!

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LOTUSFLOWER 10/10/2011 11:37AM

    emoticon I loved that blog by Yoovie, too, and I like Jenn's ticker methodology too. You've GOT THIS. That's so exciting you're talking about starting a family. That will be one of the biggest motivators you will find.

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DITZYCHICK 10/10/2011 10:13AM

    Girl...I think you're being way too hard on yourself. Put on a smile and hold your head high. You're doing great!!! I think it's great that you've reset your tracker because you need to keep yourself in the positive and focus on how far you've come. Think about the changes you've made in your lifestyle with nutrition and fitness! Reflect on the before you in comparison to the healthy person that you've become!!! I like your plan and I'm hoping good things for you sweetie!!!

Also...I'm so excited for you and your husband with all this expanding family talk!!! It's so wonderful that you're taking care of you and planning your family! I'm really looking forward to following you along your journey!!!

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KATHIERAE 10/7/2011 11:22PM

    I think your plan sounds great!! I need to cut and paste it for myself... Like on my bathroom mirror!! emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 10/7/2011 1:45PM

    It works! Seriously. But then you become like me and start talking to your scale and offering to bribe it for a lower number. Doesn't work. Damn thing. Hehe.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/7/2011 12:55PM

    Shades of my life and way of thinking. If I find the magic key I'll share it with you!

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NANNER2121 10/7/2011 12:41PM

    Although this is no consolation, remember you are not alone and most of us have the same yoyo that you are experiencing right now.
Make a plan - which I see you have already done - and stick to it but be prepared to modify in order to keep the body guessing.
Sending positive energies your way.


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HAMMLIN 10/7/2011 12:32PM

    I feel you with the same 3 pounds over and over- I've been in that rut since last November.
Kudos to you for busting out!

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September Wrap-Up and October Goals (With Dress Pics!)

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Last month I lost 0.4 pound, stayed exactly even on inches, didn't stick to my program with iron-clad consistency, but met most of the rest of my monthly goals. So, on balance, I'm pretty happy and give myself a B. Here's my favorite non-scale victory:





Granted, I have on a pretty serious shaper. But the dress is a 10 and I'm absolutely in love with it. emoticon

I also had a major victory against emotional eating, which I blogged about last week; I'm still pretty proud of it.

Yesterday brought me another nice non-scale victory. DH asked me if what I was wearing was new. I said no, to the contrary, it's quite old. He said, "Oh, that's right! I keep forgetting that you're smaller now than I've ever known you and I don't know all your clothes anymore." So that's a twofer: I'm smaller than when DH and I met AND I have an observant husband who bothers to notice what I wear. emoticon

Right now I'm ready for a change and a fresh approach, so I think I'm going to change up how I do my monthly goals. I'm scaling back the number but making them more challenging and more focused.

emoticon Eat in my calorie range plus 5 freggies 5 days a week.

emoticon Do some sort of activity every day. Walking, Wii fit, and yoga count. (Gotta work on flexibility, agility, and hand-eye coordination a bit.)

emoticon Log 1000 fitness minutes.

emoticon Do 3 cardio sessions each week.

emoticon Do 2 ST sessions a week.

emoticon Sleep for 8 hours a night. Yes, every night.

emoticon Drink 8 glasses of water.

emoticon Drop to 169 pounds, a 3-pound loss.

Most of these goals are familiar. But enough are new - or at least more focused - that I'm hoping they'll help get both me and the scale moving. Notice that the goal weight is at the bottom of my list; it's there for a reason. I tend to lose inches more easily than pounds and I've - slowly and painfully - learned to focus on process, not product.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DITZYCHICK 10/4/2011 1:29AM

    Love the dress and love that husband of yours!!! What a guy!!! Girl...you really look fabulous, thanks for sharing the pics! As for your goals...You've Got It!!!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/3/2011 6:52PM

    A beautiful dress, the color is fantastic and you look fabulous it. I also love that your Mr is so observant.

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KITHKINCAID 10/3/2011 2:03PM

    Love the dress Jen - you guys look GREAT!

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CAALAN23 10/3/2011 12:04PM

    You look beautiful and kudos to the hubby for being so observant! He looks dashing btw. :)

I'm with you on logging 1000 minutes. I really want to get 1500 but will be happy if I'm consistent enough to get a grand. :)

Good luck in October!!!! WoooHOOOO!
Tina

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LOTUSFLOWER 10/3/2011 11:41AM

    Love the dress!!!! You look amazing, congrats!!

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KATHIERAE 10/2/2011 6:38PM

    YOU are a 10!!!

So is your hubby! emoticon

Awesome goals and goal setting process... emoticon

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New Dress Pics

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Last night I bought a new dress to wear to my good friends' wedding on Sunday. DH is a groomsman but I'm not a bridesmaid. And I know I'll be feeling awful because of my foot surgery later today, so I wanted to look as sexy as possible so I'd feel more confident. If this dress, in plum instead of the gray shown, doesn't do it, nothing will:





These images are really tiny. Go to this link if you want to see a bigger version; I recommend enlarging the details to really see the lace and sequins (uh,yeah, I'm biased, lol):

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/in
dex.ognc?ID=531726&CategoryID=57940#fn
=sp%3D1%26spc%3D32

The best part is that it's in a size 10 and fits beautifully. (10 is my goal size!) Granted, I need a serious shaper to make it work. But it does work and makes me feel like a million bucks. I'll post pictures of me/us at the wedding in a later blog!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRIKATE 10/1/2011 12:00PM

    GORGEOUS!! I note that your Goal Weight Avatar also wore plum, and now you ARE she!! This is a perfect dress to display your sleek new self to the world. Hopin' that you're able to post those pics you've promised soon -- and that you'll update us about how matters progress with the foot repairs too???

I've been away for most of Sept, and it's great to be back gathering up inspiration from my Sparkler buds again, that's for super-sure!

emoticon

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DITZYCHICK 9/23/2011 9:38AM

    That's a gorgeous dress, and you're going to look and feel fabulous!!! Great choice!!!

Can't wait to see a pic of you in the dress!!!

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KATHIERAE 9/23/2011 12:26AM

    "But it does work and makes me feel like a million bucks." emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SURLYGIRL 9/22/2011 11:11PM

    LOVE the dress ! I sent the link to a friend who needs a dress for a wedding. Can't wait to see pictures of you wearing it.

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/22/2011 7:34PM

    That is a gorgeous dress! I can't wait to see pics!

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CAALAN23 9/22/2011 6:57PM

    VavaVOOM! You will post pics, yesh?

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DIXIED88 9/22/2011 5:26PM

    Gorgeous dress! Can't wait to see the pics!

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KITHKINCAID 9/22/2011 4:28PM

    Ooh lala! That's AWESOME. You're going to rock it for sure!

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LOTUSFLOWER 9/22/2011 3:05PM

    LOVE the dress! Congrats on being in your goal size!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 9/22/2011 1:27PM

    The dress is beautiful!
When you can, let us know how you are after the surgery.


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3016DEBRA 9/22/2011 12:46PM

  emoticonYou'll turn some heads in that little number! Have a Great time!!

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DANCEMANIAC 9/22/2011 12:08PM

    Yeah those layers are very slimming. I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and bought a similar dress, it felt very comfortable. Good luck with your surgery, I hope you get well soon. emoticon

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RADFEN 9/22/2011 11:16AM

    I'm wearing the gray dress to my reunion this weekend! It is a dress that makes you feel good.



emoticon

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Victory Over Emotional Eating - and Drinking - Leads to a Better Day

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Yesterday was a rough day. The second rough day in a row, as a matter of fact. When I got home I wanted to pour myself a stiff drink and seriously binge eat. emoticon


But I didn't. Instead I poured myself a flavored water, turned on my favorite video game, and beat the crap out of some sociopathic rabbits. Then DH and I went out to a restaurant we hadn't tried before. He went for his old standby, burger and housemade chips, but I decided to try something more adventurous: a veggie sandwich with avocado and havarti on multi-grain bread, a fruit cup (which came without cantaloupe, woo hoo!), and braised kale. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. OMG, it was delicious! And soooo healthy!

We stopped for frozen custard on the way home, which is a lot less healthy. But I happily got a kid's size with just a touch of hot fudge and was both satisfied and within my calories for the day. emoticon

As soon as we got home I tracked my food, packed my lunch and snacks for today, laid out clothes, and hit the hay. 8 hours of sleep! emoticon emoticon

The result? A profound sense of pride and a vastly improved mood today. And a better day!

emoticon I win!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRIKATE 10/1/2011 11:58AM

    FABULICIOUS!! Isn't it the Best how tasty this kind of victory over old habits turns out to be? For me, that is the biggest thrill of all -- and the topmost motivation to hang in and enjoy, really ENJOY, the better choices themselves. The results are kinda cool too.
emoticon

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KT-NICHOLS-13 9/22/2011 2:05PM

    "A profound sense of pride and a vastly improved mood today. And a better day!" SWEET!

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DITZYCHICK 9/22/2011 9:57AM

    I was giggling to myself as I was reading your post...GREAT WILL POWER GIRL!!! Perhaps we should put a warning label on those video games that no real animals will be injured in the act of releasing frustration. Glad that you were able to find a better solution in how to deal and made some good choices for yourself that you feel good about. WELL DONE!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/22/2011 9:58:59 AM

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ELLYFINT 9/22/2011 9:52AM

    Most awesome, Jen! Congrats on your self-discipline! Hope what remains of the week improves exponentially :)

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DANCEMANIAC 9/22/2011 8:05AM

    I am so happy for you. I need to start doing that too. Lately, I cannot focus on my eating...and it's too bad because I am doing great with my exercise but I am not giving up there is always tomorrow and after reading your blog it inspired me for that tomorrow to be today emoticon. Thanks for sharing!!! emoticon

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AMANDA-129 9/21/2011 9:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/21/2011 4:45PM

    emoticon

The victories we have to work so hard for are the best victories!

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BONJI40 9/21/2011 4:28PM

    Excellent!!!! Way to go--I am pround of you!
emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 9/21/2011 3:43PM

    YOU WIN!!! Hurray!

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LOTUSFLOWER 9/21/2011 3:24PM

    I'm so proud of you!

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CAALAN23 9/21/2011 2:50PM

    YAY!!! emoticon

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DIANEGLORIA 9/21/2011 2:12PM

    Wooohoooo!!! FTW!!

Winning!!

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Really Rough Start to the Week

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The past two days have been a series of small misfortunes, annoyances, and problems leavened with tiny victories. The net effect is that I want to curl up in bed, pull the covers over my head, sleep for many hours, pretend that none of it happened, and start over. Which, on balance, isn't bad. Sometimes days like this make me want to put my head through a wall.

The rollercoaster started first thing yesterday with my weigh in. As reflected in my feed, I was down 2 pounds. BUT I was up a pound from Friday - I've started weighing in formally on Mondays and informally on Fridays because weekends are really hard for me and I'm trying to diagnose the trouble spots. This is really frustrating because I was SO GOOD all weekend long. I got in a good run, only ate over my calories by 100 (total! all weekend!), ate my freggies, drank my water, and got good sleep. So how the heck did I gain a pound?! grrr

Then the coffeemaker jammed. As DH was telling me about it, the cat peed on the couch. DH proceed to stress out big time: he works from home and therefore is the stuckee for both problems. Not to mention the giant dish pile from having guests for dinner and doing some big batch cooking. Despite my seething, I soothed him and sent him back to bed. And did a touch of clean-up while waiting for the newly un-jammed coffee maker do its job. (Which it didn't. So I bought coffee at the cafeteria at work and DH took another crack at fixing the stupid thing.)

The rest of the day went much better. Ate my freggies, stayed in my calorie range, and was generally productive at work. Made a gorgeous chicken stir fry for dinner and got to bed at a decent hour. But I didn't work out - I'm having surgery on my feet on Thursday to remove 3 ingrown toenails, and my feet hurt so much that it's hard to work out. Yes, this is an excuse; I could ride the stationary bike and use my resistance bands in a seated strength training routine. But I didn't. And I'm mad at myself for that.

This morning went much smoother until I got on the road. It took me 70 minutes to travel 20 miles - at six freaking o'clock in the freaking morning. HISS, GROWL. To say that DC traffic sucks is an epic understatement.

So I did not exactly arrive at work in the best frame of mind this morning. Things took a turn for the worse in the morning staff meeting. I've been mentoring a guy who is new to the job but 10 years older than I am. He's sharp but lacks confidence and needs a lot of handholding and repetition to wrap his arms around things. But once he does, he's off and running. He's also had a serious morale problem for a few weeks, and I've been working with our boss to try to fix it. This morning my boss asked me to check my mentee's work - in front of the entire team. He just poured weeks' worth of work down the drain. And my mentee did the work correctly, so the boss humiliated him in front of everybody absolutely needlessly. After lunch I have to find my boss and call him on this. I'm sure that's going to be a fun conversation...

Tonight I leave work an hour later than usual because I got in so late and it's raining, so traffic is going to SUCK. And I need to get gas and load up on groceries for the weekend on the way home. And I promised DH I'd cook. So I get to do all of this later than usual, and on painful feet. Oh joy. The overarching goal is to get to bed on time, or even early if things go really well.

Here's the upside: I've stuck to all my healthy goals except for exercise. This should feel like a big victory, given the week I'm having, but it's more like cold comfort. Yes, I'm being a whiny little thing right now. I could easily deal with one or two of the things that have gone wrong this week, but the sum total is just kicking my butt. I'm embracing this right now since it feels more right than trying to talk myself out of it. I'll go through it rather than around it; my moods rarely stay sour for long.

[sigh] I'm off to eat the healthy lunch I packed last night (leftover fajitas in a whole wheat tortilla, a piece of fruit (tbd - I brought a bunch), and some iced tea) and see if I can salvage this day. Wish me luck!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIANEGLORIA 9/21/2011 2:16PM

    Lots of luck!

seriously good eats there, proud of you!

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DITZYCHICK 9/21/2011 9:38AM

    Frustrating I know...unfortunately, things just go like that sometimes, but it'll run it's course. Great job in venting and letting some of those emotions go. Bet you feel better!!! Now you just need to put on a smile and take on the day with a positive attitude!!! It's going to be a GREAT DAY with lots to smile about!!!
emoticon

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 9/20/2011 10:16PM

    emoticon

I hate it when life goes like this. But it does help us appreciate our good days!

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BONJI40 9/20/2011 4:33PM

    Ugh, I hate days like that!! Sometimes it's little things like the coffee pot and bad kitty that can send you over the edge. And it's perfectly OK to be a little whiny!!! As for your weekend, eating, the stupid scale, etc.....I have no idea why you would have gained a pound, but I bet you anything that pound will be gone quickly. You're doing the right things so it won't stick. And it sounds like you have a lot of stress going on right now too, which I think can affect us in wierd ways like oddities on the scale too.

Good luck with the foot surgery..I hope you recover quickly from that, and you won't have so much pain!!
Take care...
Carrie

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COMPASS_ROSE 9/20/2011 3:00PM

    You have definitely earned the right to whine. You have a full plate. Go ahead and vent. That's the best part of these blogs. I truly hope your day improves and that your surgery relieves your pain. When the feet hurt--everything hurts. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a much better day! Drive carefully going home tonight!

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LOTUSFLOWER 9/20/2011 2:15PM

    I'm sorry you're having a rough day, hoping the surgery helps the pain and you can be back working out. Sometimes it feels good to vent. Hoping you have a much better rest of your day, you deserve it!

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KATHIERAE 9/20/2011 1:24PM

    Don't blame you one bit for being whiney!! I would be too, especially the feet and the coffee and the traffic and the boss and the cat and... Hmmmm... Yup, whine away!!

And for pitty's sake STOP WEIGHING TWICE!!!! emoticon
Haven't you learned yet that the smallest bit of salt or undigested whatever is gonna make your weight fluctuate over a couple days time??? Once per week is plenty. Weighing in on Monday should be enough to keep you accountable over the weekend. As is shown by your two pound **LOSS**--Yay YOU!!! emoticon

Hope your week gets better and your toes heal very fast! emoticon

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CAALAN23 9/20/2011 12:52PM

    Sounds like you need some music to make that craptastic commute better. I suggest some catterwauling and driver seat dancing.

Hmmm, sounds like maybe you could make an office announcement that his work was fabulous and rechecking sh!t is inefficient. Then again, that might get you fired and they you couldn't get a new coffee pot and cat. :/

I do hope it gets better, especially the surgery with the tootsies. Sometimes you need a little down time as a recharge. Don't sweat the workouts if you are holding your own with the eating. This might shake things up and keep your body guessing. After your feet are fixed you can really go to town!

Good luck with the rest of the day, the lunch sounds scrumptious.
Tina :)

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KITHKINCAID 9/20/2011 12:51PM

    You'll be fine. Days like this happen. I just posted a blog about the small things that you can do to keep yourself on track and you sound like you have a ton of those working for you. So just keep it up. Annoyances aside. Sorry you're having a rough go of it!

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