Thursday, April 14, 2011
Over the past week or so I've come to a good headspace, one of stability and balance. My escape plan from my crazy office seems to be coming together and I'm emotionally detaching from my current office. And all this week management has left me alone to - gasp! - sit at my desk and do my job. This has gone a long way to helping me get my head together and destress. I'm feeling a lot calmer and collective, but I'm also more productive across the board. I can go through my day and focus on one task at a time, including my nutrition and fitness. I'm rebuilding consistency on staying in my calorie range and getting in enough cardio and ST. I'm staying away from the scale this month because I need to focus on process instead of product, but I can tell that this consistency is having results. My favorite pants are a tad loose and my energy level has skyrocketed. I just have an overall feeling of well-being. What a huge difference over a couple of weeks!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Today I had lunch with a friend who is also trying to lose weight by improving his eating habits and fitness. While talking about strength training, I mentioned how much I can leg press. He was impressed and said, "Strong legs, strong heart, strong mind." That's the nicest compliment I've gotten in a very long time! Totally made my day.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Here's a recap of last month's goals and how I did against them.
Drop to 173 pounds, a 5 pound loss.
Uh, no. 175, though, which is a 3 pound loss. I'm satisfied with that.
Do 1,000 fitness minutes.
Nope, didn't happen. I logged over 600, though, and that isn't too shabby.
Continue bootcamp strength training program.
I did for a week and then fell off the wagon.
Blog once a week.
I blogged four of the five weeks in March.
Participate in D&A fitness and weigh-in challenge.
Done and done!
Make significant progress on a UFO.
Yup - I got a big chunk done on something for DH.
Read one book.
I actually read two - Wicked by Gregory McGuire and Lady Susan by Jane Austen
Knit GrandMary's scarf.
Done and done.
Wear lingerie once.
I've rarely felt less sexy, so it didn't happen.
Do a monthly goal check-in blog.
Here it is!
Start making a wedding photo book.
I made pretty good progress on it.
Plan and prep the garden.
All we have to do now is plant the garden!
Start a job search.
Wrote a resume and started sending it out.
Okay, so March was not a spectacular success. But it was a HARD month. An "I had to walk uphill in the snow both ways" kind of month. So I actually accomplished quite a lot - and managed to lose 3 pounds in the process. Therefore I'm giving myself a B for March. My rewards are a Gym Boss and a little package of magnetic bookmarks.
My goals for April are similar but I'm not going to set a goal for the number of pounds to lose. And I'm cutting back on the fitness to a more manageable level. If I do more, fantastic. But my plan still puts me on track for slow but steady weight loss - and, more importantly, is what I know works for me.
Do 3 cardio sessions a week.
Do 2 ST sessions a week.
Take at least one rest day a week.
Blog once a week.
Participate in D&A team.
Make significant progress on UFO.
Read one book.
Knit FIL's hat.
Wear a special garment once.
Do monthly goal check in.
Continue working on wedding photo book.
Go to church once.
Earn my next Spark trophy.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Lately I have been having bad days and worse days. Monday was a worst day. I woke up from a literal nightmare about my job (it involved corpses, a sure sign that it's time to go) and ended my workday with a figurative nightmare in which I barely restrained myself from shaking my boss's boss, who is a complete idiot. The middle wasn't much better. I was so upset that I spent an hour and a half in my mentor's office, trying to calm down. She forbade me from coming into work for the rest of the week. I think the term "breakdown" can be fairly used here.
I didn't take the whole week off; I have the time, but don't want to use it. And I was better by the end of the two mental health days. I spent them very well.
Tuesday morning I vegetated. I sat in what felt like a semi-catonic state with the cats on the couch while knitting and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix. My turning point came Tuesday afternoon when I got a massage. Releasing the physical tension helped me let go of the mental and emotional tension. Wednesday I was able to relax, accomplish some things I've wanted to do for a while, and think clearly about my problem. Being me, I developed an action plan.
First and foremost, ditch the sinking ship - both emotionally and physically. I will continue to go to work and do my job. But that's it. I'm not going above and beyond; no more Super Woman. Management doesn't care if we succeed, so why should I? Besides which, I'm moving on. My resume is out and I've applied to a handful of jobs. Tomorrow morning I have an exploratory meeting about a promising opportunity.
Cut short the swearing, anger, and negative thoughts. They're only making every day harder. A positive outlook will take me a long way. I'm a very verbal person, so language has an emotional impact on me. Avoiding cussing in favor of appropriate and concrete words will have a big effect on my state of mind.
Avoid to-do lists at home and make sparing use of them at work. Just seeing so many unchecked boxes makes me stress. I know what I need to do, so I'll do it one step at a time. Mindfully choose a task, do it, and move on. Celebrate what I've accomplished, not worry about what's still undone.
Do one thing a day I truly enjoy. This can be as simple as reading a book instead of the habitual evening TV watching or as involved as a date day in downtown DC with DH. This will give me something to look forward to even on the worst days.
Look for a new church. I moved to Maryland two years ago and never searched for a new church. But I need spiritual sustenance, so it's time to start.
Continue with my healthy lifestyle. Duh.
Stop weighing myself every week. The healthy lifestyle needs to be about process, not product. Pounds lost = product. Starting today I'm going to weigh in on the last day of the month, and that's it. That should take a lot of pressure off and encourage me to eat right and exercise for the sake of feeling good, not some stupid number on the scale.
Continue the goal blogs. I find them a useful construct for breaking my goals into smaller, more manageable parts. And the monthly wrap-ups usually remind me that I've done a lot more than I give myself credit for, which causes me to stop giving myself such a hard time.
This may sound like a lot, but it's really not. In most ways it's a radical simplification. Most items involve either stopping an unproductive activity/thought process or continuing a healthy practice. The only two new things - doing one thing a day I enjoy and finding a new church - are such huge positives that they definitely outweigh the time out of my day. I'm feeling better already!
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