Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I have been thinking about a lot of things over the last week. What I want from my life, for my life. I don't think that I have ever thought about those things, planned for those things, I just rolled with the flow. Handled the situations as they happened but was not deliberate about anything.
Teens - I floated through high school barely passing because there was always something else I would rather be doing like going to the beach, partying or hanging with my boyfriend that was not in school anymore. Even an unplanned pregnancy didn't stop me from floating along. Tiny weight wise and severely bad habits on the other end of the spectrum (anorexia).
20s - Married at 18 didn't bode well for my 20s, divorced by 21 and a single mom. I always made sure that he had everything he needed but still just floated around. Flitting from job to job, adventure to adventure. If I got bored I changed directions without a thought to the effects. Married again and had 4 not necessarly planned blessings before I was 30. Weight drifted up slowly but steadly.
30s - Drifted around but with a little more direction, went back to college and graduated with a 4.0 (who would have thought). Still career wise I just couldn't grow up, paramedic, customer service, project manager, e911 translation engineer, medical coder back to project manager. Geez writing it out it looks even worse than in my head. Still my weight drifted up and then somehow I got a little handle on things and maintained. I stayed at the exact same weight from 35 to 40. How many can say that? I didn't lose, but I didn't gain either so I had started to move in the right direction.
40s - I turned 40 at my last birthday. I'll admit, at first I just felt sorry for myself. My kids are all almost grown and I'm single. I don't look forward to living by myself. I have never lived by myself. I went from my parents home to my husbands back to my parents to my husbands and now I am surrounded by the kiddos. I actually freaked out a little when my oldest boy moved out. I gained weight for the first time in 5 years. That caused a wake up call for me.
I have decided to enjoy the next 6 years that the kids will definately be home, BUT I am planning and plotting. I will be 46 yo when my youngest boy heads to college. That is young, so I plan more and plot more. What do I want to do? I don't have to answer to anyone. I can travel. I can go back to school. I can do anything.
For me I don't have a bucket list, a bucket list means that when you have done it all you are ready to go. I have a Fun list and I want to be as healthy and fit as I can possibly be in order to do as much fun stuff from my list as I can and add more to it every day.
I joke with the kids that when the last one leaves, I am boarding up the house and moving with no forwarding address. Well, I'm joking about the no forwarding address thing and I doubt I will board up the house. I will need a home base.
I am going to do actions steps to get ready to start my fun list. I have 6 years to get everything ready, to plan and plot. The first action on my list is losing the weight, I am doing an amazing job at this so far for me. As of today, I have officially lost 17.9 lbs from my top weight of 203.5!!! I am so ready to get started on my fun list it is just getting longer and longer the more healthy and energetic I feel.