Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I crossed my second forbidden watershed weight recently. I remember when I got to my lowest weight in ten years. I said I'd never be over 200 pounds again. I also expressed how happy I was to no longer be part of the obesity epidemic.
Then I lost sight of my goals. I started eating whatever I wanted. I stopped working out regularly. Before I knew it, I was inching over 200 pounds again. I could make excuses and say, "Well, it's not that much. I can lose it again with no problems." But the other day I stepped on the scale and it said 220. There's no way that even I- master of making excuses that I am- can try to explain that one or be anything even approaching casual about it.
I'm not happy about this. It's one of only a very small handful of things I don't like about me and my life. (Despite the weight gain, I still have extremely high self-esteem.) So I'm trying again, and this time I'm determined to make it stick. I'm still working on a plan, so I'm not making any grand pronouncements yet. I do know that I don't have as many roadblocks concerning my schedule as I used to have, so it should be easier to manage. Whether that ends up being true or not is entirely up in the air.
I can say that I am all steely determination. However, if intentions were all it took, we would all be slender and healthy, right?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The past couple of days, I've done really well with my planned eating. I'm able to stay in bounds without too much trouble. It's what happens when I finish dinner that's the problem. I keep hitting the snack foods. Last night, I even said, "I'm full" out loud and meant it. (Lots of veggies and leftover chicken for dinner.) And then I ate an entire bag of 99% Fat Free microwave popcorn and chased it with a glass of sangria. Grr! I'm not hungry. I'm not bored. I'm just... graze-y. And food is there. Ugh. I suspect it was mainly a lack of salt driving the urge to eat. The only snack foods I considered were salty.
I think I need to start a new knitting project to keep my hands busy after dinner.
Anyway, today I'm faced with my third consecutive night of leftover chicken. I made a beer can chicken on Saturday and have been working my way through the leftovers since then. I have two more nights remaining, including tonight. But what to do with the chicken? Last night and the night before, I ate it plain and had vegetable leftovers on the side. Today, I feel like being a bit zestier. I'm just not sure what to do. I have this vague notion of chicken nachos, but I'm a bit stymied by a lack of traditional nacho ingredients. I have Garden Fresh salsa and chips. I have no nacho-ish cheese (I have sliced swiss and some fresh goat cheese), no tomatoes, no sour cream and no beans. I also have a cucumber and some salad greens (I think they're still good). Is it weird that I can see putting a cucumber on nachos? Not until after heating, of course. I mean, I get them on everything I order from Moe's, so why not?
I think I may have just talked myself into eating chicken and goat cheese nachos with cucumber and salsa. And when you put it that way, it sounds so much better than it did when it was just a bunch of random ingredients. Oh! And I just realized that I have a can of black beans! YAY! I think dinner is a go.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
After I left work yesterday, I headed straight for the gym to change and then take a short run. It had rained yesterday afternoon, so the temperature went from 95 degrees to about 78, so I ran around the lake in the park next to the gym. This made me very happy, because I really hate running inside, but I hate running in temps higher than about 81 even more. I'm trying to increase my tolerance to running in heat, but I'd rather run in 18 degree weather than 81 degree weather. Strange, but true! Anyway, I seem to have misplaced my little Nike+ attachment, so I was using my GymBoss to figure out the amount of time I ran. I ran for about 18 minutes and 1.3 miles. And of course, I say "ran" but what I mean is "I ran and walked in 30 second intervals" and I walked the last couple of minutes or so. I see no point in potentially injuring myself at this point.
At any rate, I've decided to treat coming back from months of near-inertia like I'm coming back from an injury. In a way, it's true. My motivation was deeply wounded. And despite my "injury" being mental instead of physical, there's a significant risk of developing an actual overuse injury if I try to rush into things. For instance, my calves are extremely tight right now because I've been neglecting the stretching exercises my PT gave me when I had tendinitis. Run too much on legs like that and I'm going to end up right back in physical therapy. Now, I love my PT, but no thanks. I'd rather spend a few weeks working back up to being used to running before starting in on actual training. And I need to get back to my stretching, strength and balance levels before I get too far into this.
After the short run, I went back into the gym and did a couple of sets of each of my ST exercises and then played with intervals on the elliptical for 20 minutes. I do the same intervals on the elliptical that I do running. I like to think of it as practice. After 15 minutes of intervals, I did 5 minutes of "let's see how far I can get my heart rate slowed back down in 5 minutes." I had to slow down to 60 strides per minute, but I got down to 125 bpm. For me post-exercise, that's pretty good. Then I went home and had a nice, healthy dinner. I felt so good and pleased with myself on the way out of the gym that I took a silly self-portrait.
A bit blurry, but honestly, I think I'm cute as a button all sweaty and messy like that. I had to take it with my phone, because I left my camera at my parents' house on July 4th. I feel like I left my pinky toe at Mom and Dad's house.
It feels really good to be doing something good for myself. Today is not a gym day for me. I have to run errands after work and do a little long-distance vacation planning with a friend. However, I do plan to do some stretching. Then it's back to the gym tomorrow! (Probably for an indoor run. High of 99 degrees. WHUT?)
Monday, July 18, 2011
The decision to join SparkPeople back in January 2010 was easy. I wanted to lose weight. SP provided a method and had the success stories to back it up. Decision made! A little over a year later, I'd lost 40 pounds and I was getting ready for my first half marathon. I'd made a habit of eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. I remember shortly before my trip to WDW (and the half), my mom said, "Just make sure you don't put it back on after your trip. I did that when I lost all the weight before my ski trip back in 1977 and I've never gotten back down." Pff! As if that would happen to me- strong, dedicated Amazon that I am! I'm not going to quit running after the half and I'm not losing weight just for the trip. This is just part of my plan for the rest of my life.
Fast forward 4.5 months after my trip. I have not run regularly since March. My plan to run a 5K each month and work on improving my score was thwarted by a need to do some home repairs in June. Since I usually went to the gym for ST after running, I stopped lifting weights regularly in about mid-April. I've enjoyed a spring and early summer full of tasty food, good beer and some lovely wines. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted. I stopped tracking food altogether. I gained 13 pounds.
13 pounds. That's one pound for every mile I ran in the half marathon. My new clothes are getting tight. I don't have the energy I used to have. I worry about the scale and its upward direction. I'm not happy about any of this. I haven't been happy about it for months and I knew I had to do something. I got messages from Spark friends back in May and June that I knew I had to respond to, because they hit me right in the "I need to get back on track" spot.
But I didn't. And why? Because starting over is harder. Admitting that you are not the success you once were is harder. Writing the words, "I'm obese again," is infinitely harder.
It's harder. So what? It doesn't make it less true.
Anyway, I tracked everything I've eaten so far today and figured out what I'll have for dinner. I made some new goals. And now I'm going for a run. A short one, but still a run. I'm counting this as Day One version 2.0. I've had enough of the old one.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
So, my right hip flexor and psoas are back to being horribly tight and sore. It was doing this a lot back in January and February in the weeks leading up to the half marathon. It "miraculously" went away right before the half and I'm pretty sure I know why. My miracle cure was really just stretching and strengthening my hamstrings and abductors. I also picked up a tip from a cross-country runner at my gym who told me that her coach makes the team do crossover leg swings before running. I started doing that and noticed a difference.
So now that I'm making myself get serious about running again, I need to start paying attention to everything I did to get ready for the half marathon. I spent the last month slacking off like a big ol'... well, slacker. I don't want to get injured again, so it's eyes on the prize time again.
But you know what? Even though my hips are sore, I feel good. I don't care what any joint in my body says. I had a good, fast-for-me run last night followed by some great ST. I finally signed up for my golf league. I stayed within my nutrition guidelines (tiny bit too much sodium, 2 grams too little fiber, but okay). Today, I look cute and I'm going out to a charity happy hour after work.
This weekend, a friend of mine from out East is playing in the women's senior national hockey finals, which just happened to be in the Detroit area this year. So not only do I get to see my friend for the first time in over a year, I get to see a bunch of women playing hockey and kicking butt! Woo! If they don't progress into the quarter finals, I'm going to suggest a little roller derby field trip because the Detroit Derby Girls are playing the Chicago Outfit on Saturday night.
And of course, I'm going out for a run this weekend. I may be running somewhere near the rink and about 40 miles from home, but I'm not missing my run or the hockey.
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