Sunday, October 10, 2010
Injuries just plain stink. They stink even worse when the recovery period just seems like infinity times infinity. And sack on to that you lost your drive to even to PT. That would be me. Raising hand and cowering in a circle. With so many life demands and the soreness that comes and goes in my knee...I've become a bit meh and laying off instead of facing it head on. I am by no means a love. Painting a house and yard work are something. But in the grand scheme of things, I can only find solitude in the fact that I know how and what to eat. Otherwise...I'd be a fast train to disaster.
I am nervous and worried about the knee. I just don't feel that even in one month it will be right for starting back up. But then I wonder if I just need to accept the bum knee, and go with more of a chi approach. If the knee feels loose and happy, then I run for a short distance. If I feel something, then I walk. This has been more of my thought process lately. I feel as though, if approach it any other way, then I will surely lose my mind. I just want to be out there. Part of me no longer wants to wait, but I know that bruising behind the knee cap is no joking matter and truly must heal. That is the only thing stopping me.
I have had one too many days lately where I feel like a short order cook. Laying out clothes, doing all the laundry, doing all the dishes, making all the meals, reviewing all school folders and sitting down for homework daily. Dropping off and picking up for activities. Keeping track of estate nonsense for my late FIL (I know that sounds trite, but some days the red tape of settling out an estate can be a hair pulling experience...and when you are not the executor....even moreso).
Something as simple as a pedicure doesn't happen, because there is no time for such frivolous activity. I know I'll get past it, but sometimes just one nice thing for yourself can make things less 'meh'. I rarely get pedicures, so maybe I should have picked a better example! ROTFL.
I am excited about my husband tapering for MCM. His pacing is great and he will not be faced with beating the bus. But I can see the responsibilities of grad school sort of 'poo pooing' this as he is just plain worn out most times. His pacing is still great though.
My oldest son is undergoing changes with the body and some days I wish he wouldn't ask me! LOL. Poor kid. He will survive it, but he is a bit OCD like his late gma and his own father. If you don't explain it and put him at ease, then he will have all kinds of anxiety over it.
A lot of life lately is just 'meh'. Don't get me wrong, I feel grateful in so many ways. But the layers of demand and the layers of responsibility can just cause one to look like that wet cat that fell in the bathtub.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
It's been just over a month since I blogged....what in the world am I up to? What has come over me? Have I fell off the wagon? Should we check for a pulse?
I have had a handful (thank you to the lovely handfuls....because I remember and it means a lot!) of Spark friends ask how I am doing and the like. As I sit here listening to Michael Buble'...I will fill you in.
My husband went back to school (grad school, specifically) and my requirements changed. That's work speak for 'more work'. Having to get up by 'x' time and be home by 'y' time to get the kids off the bus. Not an easy feat when it is 65 miles one way. Eeeps.
Work has been meh. But that is about to change for me. Whew. I am highly respected by colleagues and (fingers crossed) I am about to start a new opportunity that will erase some of the current madness (including the commute and the wake up time). I'll keep ya posted.
I'm still a potato. The knee doc told me (after an early August MRI) that I was to do nothing but walk for 3 months. Boring. Blech. Garbage. Whatev. But it is what it is. I won't get better if I challenge them. So I've opted to paint all the common spaces of my house to keep me out of trouble. LOL.
I have found an eplethora of recipes via Twitter these days and it just boggles my mind. I've been loving vegan dishes and they are under the overall number of calories I need in a main meal (most dishes)...so this is superb. Especially since I enjoy red wine.
My lovely other half, while going to grad school, is working a graveyard a handful of days PLUS training for the Marine Corps Marathon. I am hoping he has a tremendous race and enjoys the experience of this race just as much as I did. I am excited for him! In the meantime, I am trying to find peace in walking something like a 5k. Snailing the whole way. As such, I'm signed up for the St. Jude 5k in my town on the 16th. I'll keep you posted!
The kids are good. In good health. Settling in with their teachers and schedules and the like. I've had some bumps with the oldest, but I am working hard to smooth them out. I think we'll be okay here on that front. I'm excited that he is back into basketball and picked up violin this year.
It has just been a tremendously busy time and lots of plate spinning going on...but it is coming together okay. I am literally floating from one thing to the next, but all is okay. I am in 'maintenance' mode these days as a member of the Jade Dragons. I miss some of my Cranberries, but this is the best seat in the house for me. Overall, I am maintaining and I think the fresh/homemade/vegan cooking makes a difference. Just have to stay on top of the H20 intake.
I still feel very odd in my new size. Surreal sometimes. Awkward sometimes. But happy that I overcame and I am here. Grad school won't last forever, and I am hoping for normalcy once he is out of this schedule. Fingers crossed. The family dinners and family time would be nice.
Even though you aren't seeing numerous blogs or minutes or etc. updates from me, know that I am here and making many healthy choices and hanging in.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Well, I'll tell you what...when you want to do something, make sure you do it right!
Today was my follow up reading for my knee MRI. What we came to further learn was that my meniscus and other muscles are a-okay
What we also learned was that, not only do I have a kneecap tracking issue and runner's knee, but I ALSO have bone bruising
So what does this mean? It means I have multiple factors that will challenge the duration of my recovery time. When I tested my knee at the end of July/beginning of August, my runner's knee may have felt like I was on the cusp of re-entering the running scene, BUT the bone bruising (right behind the knee cap), coupled with a pocket of fluid, makes for a nasty recipe. So anytime I would run, I would aggrivate those factors.
It would not be unlikely that, in the future (could be years from now, who knows) I will likely need a knee replacement. The conditions are there and it is what it is.
For the next 3 months, it is okay that I walk. Only walk. Absolutely, positively, NO running/jogging/wogging periods. And at least 3 days a week of PT/ST (fyi for my runner peeps so you want to do this many days if you want to keep the knees strong/supported. I do not know if I am doing enough to relax the tightening of the IT band, so I'm going to look into that further.
Lastly, I did ask if the Cho Pat brace would even help because we looked at the MRI films and I have quite the titled knee cap. I asked if I would be better served by a brace that stabilizes the cap/pocket type brace and the doc said 'absolutely'. So I will be brace shopping in the future.
My late gma was a fantastic swimmer. Perhaps that is my calling? The knee doc said that I may just have to change my goals and such. Something to chew on.
Friday, August 06, 2010
I still can't believe it. Just like I couldn't believe the goal weight that SparkPeople gave me when I first got on this site in late January 2009. A goal weight of 141 pounds. There I was, only 10 lbs lost at the time (just from shedding the really horrible eating habits and getting on the elliptical every day), and that number seemed insurmountable. 141 pounds. I had not been that light since I was a little girl in elementary school. And even then, I was an obese child by those standards!
I came here, to my journey, committed. I wanted to lose weight. My oldest son was saying I had a jiggly butt (and I am still not happy with this aspect of my body but I am getting there!). His neighbor friends were even making comments. I was hurt. I was lacking energy. A mother of 4, and at the time....my youngest were my 4 yr old daughters. Boy were they fast on big wheels and their own two feet. I feared that I'd be too slow physically to respond to them going into the street accidentally on a bike...or not looking both ways. My mother and her mother and now my sister were dealing with high blood pressure. I did NOT want high blood pressure. My father's mother and brother died from complications of diabetes. I did NOT want diabetes! The list of what I did NOT want just grew. So here I was, ready for change.
I am continually switching things up now, as I learn about what works and what doesn't. Thankfully I love cooking and baking, and I am game for any health concious recipe I get my hands on that sounds tasty. I do not feel that I deprive myself. I have had people ask me that, but I always tell them 'no'.
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That is 50 lbs. That is what is gone and will not come back. Because I am here on SparkPeople. Keeping an eye on portions. Getting my water. Eating cleaner. Moving in whatever way I can move (limitations right now due to injury). So while I have reached a 'destination' the journey continues!
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