JEM0622   30,535
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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Injuries just plain stink. They stink even worse when the recovery period just seems like infinity times infinity. And sack on to that you lost your drive to even to PT. That would be me. Raising hand and cowering in a circle. With so many life demands and the soreness that comes and goes in my knee...I've become a bit meh and laying off instead of facing it head on. I am by no means a love. Painting a house and yard work are something. But in the grand scheme of things, I can only find solitude in the fact that I know how and what to eat. Otherwise...I'd be a fast train to disaster.

I am nervous and worried about the knee. I just don't feel that even in one month it will be right for starting back up. But then I wonder if I just need to accept the bum knee, and go with more of a chi approach. If the knee feels loose and happy, then I run for a short distance. If I feel something, then I walk. This has been more of my thought process lately. I feel as though, if approach it any other way, then I will surely lose my mind. I just want to be out there. Part of me no longer wants to wait, but I know that bruising behind the knee cap is no joking matter and truly must heal. That is the only thing stopping me.

I have had one too many days lately where I feel like a short order cook. Laying out clothes, doing all the laundry, doing all the dishes, making all the meals, reviewing all school folders and sitting down for homework daily. Dropping off and picking up for activities. Keeping track of estate nonsense for my late FIL (I know that sounds trite, but some days the red tape of settling out an estate can be a hair pulling experience...and when you are not the executor....even moreso).

Something as simple as a pedicure doesn't happen, because there is no time for such frivolous activity. I know I'll get past it, but sometimes just one nice thing for yourself can make things less 'meh'. I rarely get pedicures, so maybe I should have picked a better example! ROTFL.

I am excited about my husband tapering for MCM. His pacing is great and he will not be faced with beating the bus. But I can see the responsibilities of grad school sort of 'poo pooing' this as he is just plain worn out most times. His pacing is still great though.

My oldest son is undergoing changes with the body and some days I wish he wouldn't ask me! LOL. Poor kid. He will survive it, but he is a bit OCD like his late gma and his own father. If you don't explain it and put him at ease, then he will have all kinds of anxiety over it.

A lot of life lately is just 'meh'. Don't get me wrong, I feel grateful in so many ways. But the layers of demand and the layers of responsibility can just cause one to look like that wet cat that fell in the bathtub.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE797 10/14/2010 2:45PM

    emoticon emoticon I can't remember how old your ds is but you might want to check out the book "What's Happening to My Body for Boys." There is a girl's version as well. Found them to be helpful in explaining things.

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GAIL461 10/14/2010 11:59AM

    Hugs Julie thinking of you often!

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SEEHOLZ 10/11/2010 11:57AM

    I know how you feel regarding the recovery and wanting to throw in the towel! I just met a guy yesterday who ran for 28 yrs and had to give it up to some knee surgery. He said there was a time that he didn't think he'd be able to live without running- he ran all the time! Now he spins and says that if that wont' work out ( he's been oding it for a couple of years now) he'll take up swimming-LOL... he basically said that there is always something you can do.. talking to me... not even after I told him about the injury.. merely because my leg was taped.
My thought was-- it's not about giving up on running or not getting back at it-- it's more about doing what I can right now.. within my limitations! Just wanted to share, because I know how hard it is!!!

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    emoticon Julie - I am so sorry - I know what you mean about recovery seeming to take forever. I wish I had the perfect solution or better yet a magic wand to wave and make it all better. emoticon

You need to find a solid 30 minutes a day just for you - if you don't take care of you - how can you take care of others.

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Busy, Busy, Life and Still Kicking

Sunday, October 03, 2010

It's been just over a month since I blogged....what in the world am I up to? What has come over me? Have I fell off the wagon? Should we check for a pulse? emoticon

I have had a handful (thank you to the lovely handfuls....because I remember and it means a lot!) of Spark friends ask how I am doing and the like. As I sit here listening to Michael Buble'...I will fill you in.

My husband went back to school (grad school, specifically) and my requirements changed. That's work speak for 'more work'. emoticon Having to get up by 'x' time and be home by 'y' time to get the kids off the bus. Not an easy feat when it is 65 miles one way. Eeeps.

Work has been meh. But that is about to change for me. Whew. I am highly respected by colleagues and (fingers crossed) I am about to start a new opportunity that will erase some of the current madness (including the commute and the wake up time). I'll keep ya posted. emoticon

I'm still a potato. The knee doc told me (after an early August MRI) that I was to do nothing but walk for 3 months. Boring. Blech. Garbage. Whatev. But it is what it is. I won't get better if I challenge them. So I've opted to paint all the common spaces of my house to keep me out of trouble. LOL.

I have found an eplethora of recipes via Twitter these days and it just boggles my mind. I've been loving vegan dishes and they are under the overall number of calories I need in a main meal (most dishes) this is superb. Especially since I enjoy red wine. emoticon

My lovely other half, while going to grad school, is working a graveyard a handful of days PLUS training for the Marine Corps Marathon. I am hoping he has a tremendous race and enjoys the experience of this race just as much as I did. I am excited for him! In the meantime, I am trying to find peace in walking something like a 5k. Snailing the whole way. As such, I'm signed up for the St. Jude 5k in my town on the 16th. I'll keep you posted!

The kids are good. In good health. Settling in with their teachers and schedules and the like. I've had some bumps with the oldest, but I am working hard to smooth them out. I think we'll be okay here on that front. I'm excited that he is back into basketball and picked up violin this year.

It has just been a tremendously busy time and lots of plate spinning going on...but it is coming together okay. I am literally floating from one thing to the next, but all is okay. I am in 'maintenance' mode these days as a member of the Jade Dragons. I miss some of my Cranberries, but this is the best seat in the house for me. Overall, I am maintaining and I think the fresh/homemade/vegan cooking makes a difference. Just have to stay on top of the H20 intake.

I still feel very odd in my new size. Surreal sometimes. Awkward sometimes. But happy that I overcame and I am here. Grad school won't last forever, and I am hoping for normalcy once he is out of this schedule. Fingers crossed. The family dinners and family time would be nice.

Even though you aren't seeing numerous blogs or minutes or etc. updates from me, know that I am here and making many healthy choices and hanging in.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 10/8/2010 1:53PM

    It's so good to hear from you! I wondered what was going on and glad to hear that things are coming along- looks like 3 months are almost over, too, so you should be cleared very soon here!

Keep up your positive outlook!

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GAIL461 10/5/2010 10:44AM

    Love yah Julie! Any time I need a pick me up this is the place to come! I am so happy you have found your place in the spark world. You did/are doing a fabulous job! emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 10/5/2010 9:06AM

    emoticon emoticoni think it is great with all that has been going on that yopu are still on maintanance. emoticoni have a really long way to go before i can get any where near.i hear you on the exercise as i am in the same baot as you just walking,no strength etc.and after months of not even being able zto do the walking even i thought walking again will be enough but it isnīt i want the way you are getting round the not exercising issue.keep up the good work and good luck to both yopu and your husband.him for the marathon and you for the 5k. emoticon

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Are YOU committed to yourself?

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

I ask because I just want to plant a seed.

Last January, I was a girl who wanted to be a 'done' girl. I was done with my boys telling me I had a 'jiggly butt'. I was done with having a lack of energy. I knew what I had to commit to in order to make positive and permanent change. I had to banish certain things, I had to commit to certain things, and I had to use specific tools to ensure my success. Joining SparkPeople was just part of the process. But finding the people and the ways to keep my spark alive and keep me on track was key also. Enter The Biggest Loser Challenge! I have made GREAT friends, lost many pounds, and passed on knowledge and experiences to a wealth of other lovely people.

Are you committed? Do you still have pounds to lose? Do you need accountability? Do you need ideas on how to get there? Do you want to meet others who have fire and a willingness to burn the calories and reach their goals? Then consider the Biggest Loser Challenge!

If you want to give it a go, then visit the following link! (copy and paste in browser)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I wish I could commit to that - right now with all that is going on - I can't commit to anything else. I will commit to me though and get these last pounds gone from my body.

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DEE797 9/2/2010 6:10AM

    The BLC is an emoticon experience. Truly appreciate all you have done to make it a positive experience.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 9/2/2010 4:32AM

    emoticonfor the biggest loser challenge they are emoticon

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Knee Update

Monday, August 23, 2010

Well, I'll tell you what...when you want to do something, make sure you do it right! emoticon

Today was my follow up reading for my knee MRI. What we came to further learn was that my meniscus and other muscles are a-okay emoticon

What we also learned was that, not only do I have a kneecap tracking issue and runner's knee, but I ALSO have bone bruising emoticon

So what does this mean? It means I have multiple factors that will challenge the duration of my recovery time. When I tested my knee at the end of July/beginning of August, my runner's knee may have felt like I was on the cusp of re-entering the running scene, BUT the bone bruising (right behind the knee cap), coupled with a pocket of fluid, makes for a nasty recipe. So anytime I would run, I would aggrivate those factors.

It would not be unlikely that, in the future (could be years from now, who knows) I will likely need a knee replacement. The conditions are there and it is what it is.

For the next 3 months, it is okay that I walk. Only walk. Absolutely, positively, NO running/jogging/wogging periods. And at least 3 days a week of PT/ST (fyi for my runner peeps so you want to do this many days if you want to keep the knees strong/supported. I do not know if I am doing enough to relax the tightening of the IT band, so I'm going to look into that further.

Lastly, I did ask if the Cho Pat brace would even help because we looked at the MRI films and I have quite the titled knee cap. I asked if I would be better served by a brace that stabilizes the cap/pocket type brace and the doc said 'absolutely'. So I will be brace shopping in the future.

My late gma was a fantastic swimmer. Perhaps that is my calling? emoticon The knee doc said that I may just have to change my goals and such. Something to chew on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 8/28/2010 3:09PM

    sorry to hear that julie but i love swimming look on the bright side at least you can still do some form of exercise.i am still on a total exercise ban at least till 24th september then they have said i can do some nordic walking etc,have to wait at least 6 months before i can do any exercise centered on the stomach and stomach muscles so most strength exercises will be a no no till the 6 months are up.i am going to be so out of shape as it will be nearly a year then since i have done any really good exercises.i envy you.not that with the knee but with the swimming etc.chin up my love.

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SEEHOLZ 8/23/2010 5:52PM

    Ummm, sounds like you and I are currently in the same boat, maybe not the same injury, but YEAH....

Great reminder to give this time!!!

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RHYNIC 8/23/2010 3:43PM

    Well Julie, I don't think you have found yourself in a perfect situation - definitely not since you are a runner. But now you know exactly what's going on and you can work from here. Good for you if you can get into swimming. that would be a hard one for me since I don't know how. walk on my friend. gail

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SRVFREAK176 8/23/2010 12:36PM

    Hang in there and rehab it the right way so you can continue on to your next calling and race! emoticon

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    Julie - at least you have your answers - not ones that you like - but reality is there. Hang in there and walk and swim too. You can deal with 3 more months - at least you can move about.

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50 Pounds Lost - Celebrate with me!

Friday, August 06, 2010

I still can't believe it. Just like I couldn't believe the goal weight that SparkPeople gave me when I first got on this site in late January 2009. A goal weight of 141 pounds. There I was, only 10 lbs lost at the time (just from shedding the really horrible eating habits and getting on the elliptical every day), and that number seemed insurmountable. 141 pounds. I had not been that light since I was a little girl in elementary school. And even then, I was an obese child by those standards!

I came here, to my journey, committed. I wanted to lose weight. My oldest son was saying I had a jiggly butt (and I am still not happy with this aspect of my body but I am getting there!). His neighbor friends were even making comments. I was hurt. I was lacking energy. A mother of 4, and at the youngest were my 4 yr old daughters. Boy were they fast on big wheels and their own two feet. I feared that I'd be too slow physically to respond to them going into the street accidentally on a bike...or not looking both ways. My mother and her mother and now my sister were dealing with high blood pressure. I did NOT want high blood pressure. My father's mother and brother died from complications of diabetes. I did NOT want diabetes! The list of what I did NOT want just grew. So here I was, ready for change.

I am continually switching things up now, as I learn about what works and what doesn't. Thankfully I love cooking and baking, and I am game for any health concious recipe I get my hands on that sounds tasty. I do not feel that I deprive myself. I have had people ask me that, but I always tell them 'no'.

^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^

That is 50 lbs. That is what is gone and will not come back. Because I am here on SparkPeople. Keeping an eye on portions. Getting my water. Eating cleaner. Moving in whatever way I can move (limitations right now due to injury). So while I have reached a 'destination' the journey continues!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEE797 8/28/2010 6:18PM

    Can't believe I missed this blog till now.... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 8/28/2010 3:04PM

    how did i miss this one.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonkeep up the good work

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AMAZINGAMY14 8/20/2010 12:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonWow you are awesome girlie!

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KAYEREADER 8/17/2010 11:38AM


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MS_JOHNSON 8/16/2010 12:32PM

    I am SO PROUD of you! Congratulaions this is a tremendous milestone! Hugs!

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NJOYNOW 8/12/2010 10:35PM

    Yea YOU! The happiness shines through your words. Keep taking good care of you!

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2BEEFIT 8/12/2010 11:06AM


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RUNNINGPFUHL 8/11/2010 11:22AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OFFDREA 8/8/2010 7:37PM

    Congratulations!!!! That is an amazing acheivement!

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P0KERS0PH 8/8/2010 6:17PM

    Way to go!

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RHYNIC 8/8/2010 5:50PM

    congratulations on reaching your goal. Awesone!

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GAIL461 8/7/2010 7:20AM


I am so proud of you for reaching your goal! Way to go, you are such an inspiration! WHOO HOO! emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 8/7/2010 2:18AM

    what can i say except emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEEHOLZ 8/6/2010 1:49PM


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SUMMERWINDS 8/6/2010 12:38PM

    Awesome! I really enjoyed your blog and felt so motivated from you! Congrats to you, GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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FINDINGMEIN2012 8/6/2010 11:12AM


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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GLMOM2 8/6/2010 9:18AM

    WOW! 50 pounds, that is awesome!!! emoticon

Way to take charge and make those changes in your life not only for you but for your family. You deserve a emoticon!

You are an inspiration to us all!!!

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WYOBZM 8/6/2010 8:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ICEDAMSEL 8/6/2010 8:38AM

    Congratulations! That is soooo inspiring. I also liked the sugar visual. Keep up the good work! emoticon

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ECARTER8505 8/6/2010 8:32AM

    AWESOME!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! emoticon

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KYRRIA 8/6/2010 8:21AM

    That's awesome! congrats!

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THINAGAIN66 8/6/2010 8:14AM

    emoticon You have given me hope that I can do it too. 50 pounds is my goal too and I am half way there. I started Jan of this year and it seems like it is taking forever as the pounds are coming off more slowly now. But, I am not giving up. emoticon for the motivation that I can do this!

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GREEKGAL1 8/6/2010 8:14AM

  Congratulataions to a job well done! emoticon

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JAZZYJAS 8/6/2010 8:12AM

    You rock!! Keep up the great work!!

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