Friday, January 27, 2012
So I was talking with a single male friend (MF) and I got to hear his perspective and another male co-worker's (MCW) perspective. The other co-worker has a pregnant wife and is totally disengaged with the pregnancy. He knows not the smallest iota about pregnancy or babies and has no interest to learn. He is so ignorant, the other male friend, told him he should google it.
Well they were having lunch with a female former co-worker (FCW). The female co-worker said "well I'm going to focus on my career especially as I realize I probably won't be having babies." MF is aware that she and her husband have been trying for a couple of years, MCW does not. MCW says "why wouldn't you be able to have kids?" FCW replies well at 33, it's not as easy to get pregnant as a 16 year-old (context missing). MCW why is that. MF well a woman is born having a certain number of eggs and through time, there are less eggs. MCW - I still don't understand. FCW, the eggs are also aging so a 16 year old eggs are in better condition than a 33 year old. MF changes topic. None of this is a joke. For MCW women just get pregnant and that's it.
MF's friend asks him for money for IVF (it could be any ART really). She tells him, well there's a good chance the first try won't work, but the second try, will have a 99% chance. MF is like it's $15,000, that's like half a car.
I was luckily able to dodge the, so are you having problems having kids question. I guess I lucked out.
I was with my hairdresser/friend who knows I've been trying for the last five years and has had multiple procedures. She's talking about her new boyfriend. She's not sure he's the one since she has 2 kids and he has 1 girl and he says he would like to have a boy at all costs. He can't afford his one kid. She says well I had my last kid at 39 (unplanned) so it's no problem, you know black women don't have problems with that. No, I don't know since I'm obviously having problems. I don't say that, because then she'll probably remember and remind me about putting my legs up in the air the next time I have sex. Oh and she had an abortion when she was 15 and thought she wouldn't be able to get pregnant, but she has multiple times.
Of course, this is what I think about every waking minute. I'm just starting my eighth round and it seems like the hassle is actually getting worse. I think this is my last time. I can't stomach the expense. I'm going to try to get a new job, but by the time we build back up our savings, my fibroids will be worse. I wish the world would end.