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Hard life got me down but I'm coming back

Thursday, October 02, 2008

I'm back! It's been a very hard summer. Taking pop in has been a real challenge. His mind is slipping alot faster then I excepted. It's hard to deal with. Then my best friend was dying from a lung disease for the last 3 months. she died sept. 13 2008. i was there holding her hand when she pasted. that made it harder on me. Then on sept. 22 I found out my 23 yr old daughter has MS. I know I have to get my body and health in order or I'm not going to be able to help pop or my daughter. I'm going take it one step at a time. I know it will be hard but with your help and support I know I can make it. Please any info and encouragement is welcome.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UPFORFUN03 10/7/2008 10:17AM

    Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on. Everyone is right you know, take some time to take care of you. Pop in on the DE team and let us know how you're doing and if there's anything we can do to help. We're neighbors, you know!

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PURPLE0906 10/5/2008 4:46AM

    Hi, sorry for the hard summer. You really need to concentrate on you. I know it won't be easy, but you can do it. You need to take care of yourself first or you will be no good to others.
I try to give myself 30 mins a day. If I go longer, better for me.
I saw your daughters comment and she sounds great. If you need just to talk, email me please.

Take care and have a great day!

Cindy
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HADYDADUBR 10/4/2008 9:37PM

    Glad you are back. You need to look after yourself if you want the energy to look after someone else. Sorry you had a bad summer. Take care. Mary :)

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CADSPIESS 10/2/2008 9:48PM

    Hi Mom,
You don't have to worry about me I will be fine! I am a strong person so you need to stop thinking of me and everyone else for once and start thinking of you. I have been telling you that I am worried about you for awhile now. So get back on track and make me proud once again I know you can do it we all do :)

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GMACAMI 10/2/2008 8:15PM

    I understand what you are going through- I too take care of an elder adult that is not related to me but is like a mother to me. The hardest decision I had to make for the both of us, was that I had to put her into an assisted living situation. It became apparent that it was more than I could handle in my home both emotionally and physically, although I am a registered nurse, and I had to admit my limitations. I wanted so much to care for this person and show my love for her through caring for her as I would one of my own parents. However, the best of intentions, the right choice was to find placement, continue to visit her frequently, and to bring her to my house for frequent visits with her cat and dog and occasion overnights.

It sounds like your plate is full and becoming overloaded with caring for yourself (yes, you come first... or should come first), your daughter, your grandchildren, and your ex-father-in-law. Maybe it is time to sit down and look at your priorities and see if placement in an assisted living situation might be a good alternative for your ex-father-in-law. Placement does not mean abandonment, but will definitely free up a large amount of your responsibilities. It will give you time to put you back in the top focus because if you are not your top priority and take care of you, what will happen when you start to fail health wise? I notice that you are part of the diabetics team, high blood pressure team, high cholesterol team... that means that you are prone to heart problems, stroke problems, vascular problems in the legs and feet... things that you need to take care of now through weight reduction and careful blood sugar control... both of which you are having trouble with because you are putting everyone else in front of you on the priority list. (I do that too... but we as nurturers need to keep reminding ourselves that we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost).

They have some new meds for MS that are on the market recently that are proving to be almost a miracle. Get your daughter to a good neurologist. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter...as well as for you and the rest of your family.

Cami

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STERNENFEE 10/2/2008 5:40PM

    When it rains, it truly pours, doesn't it? But trust me, there is always light at the end of the tunnel... even if we cannot see it yet, it is there.
I'm sure your daughters diagnosis came as a shock but MS is a very managable disease. I just got diagnosed 6 months ago myself. I take my daily injections and feel just fine. MS doesn't rule my life, please tell your daughter not to let it rule hers either. 90% of the progression of the disease is mentally inflicted. If she doesn't keep her spirits up and thinks "oh gosh, how long until I have to sit in a wheelchair", she will end up in one sooner than she can think. Please tell her to live her life to the fullest, I surely am! If she needs someone to talk to, send me a sparkmail and I'll give you my email address.

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BUSYBEE1000 10/2/2008 10:12AM

    Hang in there and don't forget about yourself as you help those you love. You sound like a very caring person. Your friends and family are truly blessed to have you in their lives.

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STRESSED Am I Taking on to much.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I am so STRESSED out right now I'm in tears. I afraid I'm not ready for this move I'm making. I am moving to a bigger place so my x father-in-law (who is like a father to me) can move in with me. He lives with my x right now but he doesn't take care of him like he should. Pop is 87 yrs young walks with a cane and is coming down with dementia. It's alot to take on and I'm scared I won't be able to handle this fulltime by myself.
I'm doing so well keeping my emotional eating under control I don't want this to push me back to food. Help.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HADYDADUBR 5/31/2008 9:03PM

    What a big heart you have. Check out your town to see if you can get some help. Do look after yourself so you will be able to look after your ex's father. If you need someone to vent to, I am here. Mary :)

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LOSE4LIFE47 3/31/2008 9:19PM

    What an awesome thing for you to do. I believe the Lord will give you the strength to be able to take care of him & you eat right. The Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. " I really admire you! You are such an inspiration & I know the Lord will bless you.

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AMYIS200 3/31/2008 2:12PM

    What a beautiful thing you're doing. But remember...YOU always come first. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't possibly be strong enough to take care of someone else. Kind of like the protocol on an airplane..if the oxygen masks fall, place one on youeself, and then your child. If you run out of oxygen, you can't help yourself or your child.

Same thing goes here. Inquire in the state you live in to see what kind of in home care they can provide...most of it should be free...and then plan around what you can do to take care of yourself. Only then, will you be able to give him the care that he needs.

Good luck to you sweetie!!

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TAKNANGEL 3/31/2008 10:06AM

    Hey JC,
You are following your heart. If you feel you are doing it for the right reasons, then you have a higher source walking beside you on this one. He never allows us to take on more than we can handle. Perhaps you can find some agencies in your neighborhood that might be helpful also. Or maybe a Elderly Community Center that will help keep him occupied so you can get a break in once in a while. Perhaps that could come just through the help of a friend one afternoon a month or so, so you have some you time. This may also be just what you need to get the focus off yourself and turn your attention elsewhere. If you have someone to care for you may not think about eating as often. This may not be something to stress over. This just might be what you need to help you succeed. You will need to be healthy to help care for him and you are on that path now. Journey on my friend to success!!!

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SKINNYNANNY 3/31/2008 12:27AM

    my mom is also 87, I want her to come live with me, and she won't yet. I am afraid that she will fall and break another bone before she realizes that she would be better off here. Well, I just want to say that there are support systems you can use to help you. They will send folks to help with showers, medication checkups, they have day programs in some areas, and also... remember you can only do what you can do.
my mom is in assissted living right now. at the tune of about $4,000 a month. In two years the money will be gone, that is why I want her here now, before things get worse. I admire you, and if you need someone to talk to...please spark mail me!
skinnynanny

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SHERYE 3/30/2008 11:29PM

    Hello JC31KIDS

Try to take one day at a time, breath and enjoy the time together with your ex's father, he is so lucky to have someone in his life like you that care's enough to worry about him enough to move in with him to take better care of him than his own son. You are taking on a big challenge, but obviously you have thought this threw and decided that you can do this, if you ever need to talk or vent I will be here to listen.

((HUGS))............
...Sherye

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10lbs and holding

Friday, February 15, 2008

Well I lost 10lbs and it seems I hit a plateau. I'm not giving up. I am walking every day and drinking my water. Most days I stay within my calories so I know my weight will start dropping again. I just have to be patient.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STERNENFEE 2/23/2008 9:56PM

    You have been doing great, you lost 10 pounds so far, that's awesome!! Keep tracking your food, even if you have a disastrous day (those happen) and maybe you see some changes you can make, maybe replace a snack you've had with a piece of fruit or something. You can do this!!

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so far so good.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I have been doing better then I thought with changing my eating habits. I hope I can keep it up.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSCHANTILLY 2/15/2008 6:56AM

    its a whole month since your last blog are you still keeping it up eat or give yesterdays chocs and get those veggies or take a lovely walk . the weather is nice here so its quite encouraging

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SURYA30 1/16/2008 2:09PM

    You can! You've got friends here who are here to help! It's one day at a time.

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Day 2

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I made it this far I'm doing well. All I can do is continue one day at a time.

  


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