Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Well, today was my week 3 weigh in. I got up out of bed excited to step on the scale and to my surprise.......a BIG FAT 0 weight less, nothing, nada!!! I think you can tell that I was a little more than disappointed. How could this be? I'm eating low carb, no bread, no potatoes, no white flour, lots of veggies, exercising,....what did I do wrong?
While I am pondering all of this, my husband comes home from a visit to the doctor's office. He immediately wants to know if I'd like to go eat at the new Mexican Restaurant we have in our little town. Well, I probably don't have to tell you what I did. I said, "YES, let's go." He knows Mexican food is my favorite. I was thinking I'll teach you scale for not moving!! How utterly stupid is that?? Blaming the scale. Although I don't know who or what to blame because I have no idea why I didn't lose even 1 lb, my emotions took over and I ate at the Mexican buffet. I did drink water, had only about 10 tortilla chips, had the chicken fajita WITHOUT the tortilla, and a big tossed salad....believe me, that was much, much better than what I usually would have eaten at a Mexican restaurant, but still all I did was hurt myself. Why did I do that????????
I'm trying not to beat myself up over it. Dinner this evening is another meal, one I can eat the way I'm suppose to. Trying to keep my wits about me. I need to really work on not depending on the scale so much and go by how I'm feeling. I do feel better, my clothes are fitting better, no one else can tell, but I can and that is what counts.
To anyone who reads this blog, don't give in to emotional eating. Stand strong!!!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A week ago I jumped on the "getting healthy boat." I say jumped because I was really ready. Unlike times in the past when I tried losing weight when I would reluctantly "step" onto the boat, this time I felt prepared for the journey. I had read, researched, practiced imagery, etc. this time for the past 2 months in preparation for this long journey.
I have about 100 pounds to lose so it will be a long journey. I've tried a few times to lose weight and have lost only to gain it and more back, and when I made that decision this time, I thought about what had NOT worked in the past. I realized that one of the things I did wrong was not preparing myself for the journey mentally. If you were going on a long journey on a boat, you wouldn't even think to get on the boat without provisions. I mean, you'd need food, a map, fresh water, fuel, emergency kit, etc. I looked at it just like that! I needed to prepare myself for this long journey. So, after reading, researching, soul searching, etc., I finally felt REALLY ready and couldn't waitt to get on the boat. I sat a day to start my journey and waited anxiously for it to arrive.
Well, that was a week ago. Many of you may have seen my blog from yesterday. It took me 4 days, averaging 504 steps a day, 10 minutes at a time,but I finally walked a mile. I was feeling bad because I just kept thinking how in the world did I allow myself to get in this bad of shape.
Today.......I feel much better, I feel in charge, motivated and dedicated. I had my first weigh in this morning after one week. I LOST 7 LBS!!! I'm particularly proud of myself since I really didn't have the right food in the house I needed (low carb) and I had to improvise a lot. (My husband and I just get paid once a month, he will receive a check next week so I can go buy the right food then.) But, it is 7 lbs. and I'll take it!!
Many of you have sent me words of encouragement and support and I appreciate each and every one of you. Also those SP members who never even knew I read your SP page to get inspiration....a big thank you to you too. I LOVE SP!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Ok, I finally did it. I walked a mile! Only took me four days to do it. LOL I have a pedometer and averaging 504 steps per day in a 10 minute walk has me reaching a mile today.
In a way, I'm proud of myself because this was extra walking that I normally would not be doing. I set a goal to start with 10 minutes a day and so far so good. I have severe arthritis in my hips and knees which keeps me from walking very fast or for too far. However, my goal is to add 5 minutes to it every week if I can. (And, I will!)
In another way, I'm disappointed in myself. How did I ever allow myself to get in this bad of shape? It's just insane that a person would allow themselves to have 100 extra pounds on them, have diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, and depression/anxiety. I realize that being obese has played a major part in getting each one of these conditions and I just hate myself for allowing it to continue.
I've told myself that I've made a start and that is better than I was doing a week ago. It's so funny. In my mind, I see myself as a runner, like a marathon runner, always have just never did anything about it. I'm trying to use positive imagery to keep me inspired and motivated. Maybe one day I can be a runner. Probably not a marathon runner, but maybe a 5K.
I guess I'm just being a bit mad at myself today just because I've reached this age in my life at 54 years of age and feel like I'll never get where I want to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still motivated and inspired, mostly from coming to SP everyday and seeing how others are doing, I guess I'm just thinking in the past tonight and seeing where I could have stopped this a long time ago and didn't.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I hope I can see some progress on the scale tomorrow. Hopefully that will make me feel better about myself. I have a bad self esteem issue and believing in myself is hard sometimes.
SP and it's members are GREAT! I could never even attempt all this without it. Thanks guys!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I have so many health problems, diabetes is just one with me. Three days ago, a wife of a client I used to have at work called me. Her husband, who is diabetic, had to have both legs amputated due to diabetes and not controlling it. She is wore out, changing his diapers, changing his bed, 24 hour care, etc. And, you know he is feeling so guilty that he is being a burden on his family or at least I would. That was when I decided enough is enough. I don't want to lose my feet and/or legs, go blind, be on dialysis for my kidneys, have a heart attack, and other complications from diabetes just because I couldn't keep control of it or myself. AND, I definitely do NOT want to be that kind of burden on my family.
I think that call was just another "knock in the head" from God to say, "ok, girl....get off the couch, start watching what you eat, get with the plan." I immediately signed up for the 8 week Diabetes Challenge on SP and have set my goals. I hadn't even been checking my blood sugar levels, (I guess I was in denial), so one of my goals is to check my blood sugar level at least every morning if not more often. This morning my reading was 122. Not real good, but the day before it was 133, so I'm getting there.
Today I started exercise. I told myself I would do some kind of exercise for 10 minutes a day to start. I figure I can do anything for 10 minutes. So I walked around my back yard 4 times. It took 10 minutes and wearing a pedometer, I walked 558 steps. The last two laps were hard for me (I have about 100 lbs to lose and I have severe arthritis in my knees), but I pushed through. Now I'm very proud of myself for doing just that little bit of exercise. Now I have something to build on. It also felt GREAT to be able to log that exercise on my tracker. It's a start!
I didn't just blog to blow my own horn. I know I tend to forget sometimes how serious diabetes actually is for me. My mother was a diabetic for 34 years before she passed away and then diabetes didn't kill her, she died from cancer. But, she ALWAYS watched her diet so carefully and exercised. But, when you are a child, you really don't understand it. NOW, I do! Anyone with diabetes MUST take is seriously and that why I wanted to blog today....we all need to take care of ourselves!
Hope everyone has a great SPARK day!
Sunday, December 04, 2011
I got many comments on my blog of yesterday. Thank you all for your encouragement and support.
One comment from JUSTYNA7 Why wait until New Year's? Do something, anything, today and give yourself credit. It may be a walk, saying "no" to a problem food, reading a SP article. One thing and give yourself a hug. You are worth it!
really gave me a light bulb moment (thank you, JUSTYNA7). I thought to myself that I really have made some strives toward improving my health this past year. I stopped drinking all soft drinks. I now drink crystal lite or water. I stopped biting my nails after nearly 50 years. Ok, maybe that is a vain thing instead of a health thing, but still it was very hard for me to do. And, my proudest accomplishment this year......Ta Da.....I quit smoking after smoking for over 30 years. I had my last cigarette in March of this year. I quit cold turkey and can honestly say I hardly ever crave one now....just once in a while. I just really thought of those things as a goal that I could mark "completed" by on a list. I really do feel like I've accomplished something after all.
So, no, I haven't lost any weight. But, I've done at least two things this year to improve my health and for that I am very proud of myself (patting myself on the back) and am looking forward to next year when hopefully I can get control of my weight, my diabetes, and my high blood pressure.
With all the support and encouragement I got with yesterday's blog, I just know I can do it. And just like JUSTYNA7 said, "why wait until next year"....making some small changes now is still a step in the right direction. So, I'm going to make my list of goals and start working on them now.
Never put off tomorrow what you can do today. That's what my mama always told me.
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