Friday, March 18, 2011
Well, in investigating the gaping hole where Cysta Ryan used to reside I found that it is very much like an empty eye socket! It is about the size of an adult eye socket and about as deep. It is like an empty eye socket staring out into space.
The good news is that once I got past the removal of the packing, the cleaning with a QTip and peroxide, the first shower and the repacking the pain isn't too bad. I only hurt when I move a certain way. Much, much less pain than when Cysta was still around!
So, I was wondering if I could maybe purchase a glass eye from a Pawn shop or a fake eye from a Halloween store to insert instead of the packing? Maybe a real pretty marble in some of my fave colors that I could switch out to match my belly dancing outfits? Maybe a nice big fake gemstone? LOL!
This thing is deeper and bigger than I thought, so I am aprehensive about the healing process. But, I will deal.
Right now my biggest complaint is that I am HOT! It got up to 83 degrees today and is still in the upper 70s! We got a new heating and air system this winter and the stupid thermostat controls are on a touch screen! Touch screen technology might be nice for those who can see, but not for the very hot and irritated blind!**Sigh** Husband just called and is on his way homhome, so that is good. Maybe I can cool off! At least the sun is setting....
Thursday, March 17, 2011
OK, forgive all my typos b/c my hands are very shakey. The Lydacaine (sp?) they used to numb me for surgery made me terribly jumpy and shakey and once it wore off my nerves took over and I can't seem to stop the shaking right now!
Yes, I'm home from surgery. It was all able to be done in the MD's office, It wasn't anything fun or exotic or even alien in me, but a blocked oil gland that caused a horrible hard build up of oil which then became infected. The doctor took out a hard glump of built up oil that was the size of a nickle (per hubby). I asked if this should've been taken care of years ago and the doc said probably. He said that he couldn't say without knowing what it looked like at the time, but that I should've pursued having it checked b/c a blocked oil gland will eventually become infected. Oh those docs who said it was nothing! Now I have a gaping hole in my tummy and it has to heal from the inside out so it is packed! I have to remove the packing before each shower and then pack it again.... I really, really don't want to deal with that! It sounds so painful to me!
Cysta Ryan was evicted and sent packing! She/it is gone, gone, gone! Now I have this gaping hole left in her wake! It is sore, but not horrible. I hope it stays this way. Well, you know, not a gaping hole, but just sore and not horrible!
I wish this jittery, jumpy feeling would go away tho! I feel like a hooker in church, a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers, a bean from below the border with a restless worm in it.... It is getting just a little freaky! If it doesn't wear off soon I'm going to call the doctor and see what may be going on.... I think it is just that I was so nervous and so tense at the beginning and then the meds made my heart race and my body couldn't sort the feelings out and is trying to reach homeostasis again!
I'm having a lovely fat filled Reuben sandwich today in honor of St. Patrick's Day! I'll eat a nice big salad too, but wanted some corned beef.
May your kilt be hsort enough for a jig, but long enough to cover your lucky charms!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
For those of you who know me or have read a few of my blogs you know that I cope with life with a little humor and alot of laughs! So, thought I would share some amusing thoughts and conversations regarding My Cysta, Ryan. She was named Ryan by a fellow teammate who feels as I do about a character on our favorite soap.... We find him annoying, a major pain and he doesn't seem to go anywehre! I thought it was a perfect name for my Cysta!
The darn thing is really, really hurting today, but that is OK b/c this is the eve of Cysta Ryan's departure! I have surgery scheduled for 2:30 PM tomorrow. I'm going to work for a couple hours and then to have a bite to eat since the surgery is supposed to involve only local anesthetia.
So, one of my friends suggested that perhaps when they took out the Cysta they would find remnants of the twin I "ate" in utero! You've all heard those stories about people having tumors removed that had teeth or hair or spines in them! I didn't discount it b/c I'm a firm believer in that you just never know.... I am kinda bossy too.
Another friend suggested that it wasn't an absorbed twin, but the gold tooth of the spanish pirate I once had an affair with! Somehow his gold tooth came loose during our passion plays! Hmmm, don't remember any Spanish pirates, but spent alot of the 80s drunk!
I wouldn't be surprised if it is a splinter or something crazy my body collected on one of my misadventures down stairs or into telephone poles or down manholes as a blind person!
But alas, I figure it is probably just whatever cysts are made of covered up with some painful infection! I don't care what it is, I just want it gone! Cysta Ryan: serves you right for trying to take up room in MY mom's womb.... Adios and Hasta La Vista to the Spanish gold Tooth..... Surgeon do your thing!!
I had a few good laughs about all of this and hope you did too! I'll post again post-surgery! You never know....
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Ah! I thought things were getting better with the antibiotics. My blood sugar levels evened out, were even normal for a few days and then my cysta decided to burst open! I know, I know, GROSS!! It was indeed gross. But, the worst part is the pain. It is like the pain has doubled. Not only am I sore from the darn thing growing in me and out of me, but now I hurt with an open wound! The thing is actually on my upper abdomen on the left side and low and behold I discovered I have some ab muscles there! Muscles that hurt with the infection and the cyst growing there, but muscles nonetheless! Problem is that I can't work those muscles or really any of my other muscles without a rather great deal of pain. I take my antibiotic as directed. I clean the wound. I put hot compresses on it, which of course is why the thing burst open. I am folllowing doctor's orders, but I hurt! This AM I woke up to a blood sugar reding of 303! That is a fasting blood sugar. What is going on? Did my trouble sleeping last night cause this? Is the infection worse instead of better? Has cysta moved in for life? Augh!
Surgery is in 2 more days.... BTW, this is not just a boil or an absess. This is a hard knot the docs called a cyst; a benign cyst, that became infected and sort of grew an absess over it. So, just a good lancing won't fix it. It needs to be surgically removed. Whoever thought a stupid little bump on your upper ab could cause such a mess and such pain? My doctor actually said there was no reason to remove it before it became infected. Huh? Everyone I've talked to who has had this kind of thing said that eventually theirs became infected! So, why do the MDs wait until you are in pain and infected? Why not remove it when it is just there? Makes me worry about my poor dog's so-called benign cysts. I keep checking them now b/c I don't want him to be in pain!
As for my week.... I'm doing really well with food. I'm still eating too much of the processed stuff, but I am making improvements. Yesterday I was well within my calorie limit and all my other nutrients and only 41 mg. above my sodium limit which is excellent for me! I'm taking it all a day at a time. I miss my exercise ALOT! I'm supposed to dance for a performance tomorrow evening and don't know that I will be able to do it! We'll just have to wait and see!
Sorry to always be whining about Dear Cysta here, but it is a real bother to me and it hurts! I just want it to stop! Thanks for allowing me to whine!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Yeah, I know, some of you are saying it is about time she was committed.... We all knew she just was a little off! Well, too bad! I've actually decided that I need to truly and absolutely commit to my weight loss goals! No messing around.... No saying "one won't hurt".... No OK, I messed up today, but there is always tomorrow.... While all that stuff is true, I need to focus on not making the same mistakes over and over hoping for different results. That, BTW, is Einstein's definition of insanity! I've been insane. I irrationally kept believing that just exercising was enough. I stay within calorie limits most of the time, but toward the upper end and only concerning myself with calories, not useful or nutrient rich calories! I don't need to do this to be able to wear a sexy bathing suit this summer, but that would be a nice bonus, I don't need to do it to stay alive, I'm fairly healthy for a 42 year diabetic and chunky lady; I don't need to do it for energy.... Ask anyone, I'm always working out or doing something that involves movement! I need to do it b/c it is what I want to do! I want to lose 5% of my body weight and then 5% more. I want to do it in a healthy way, in a strong way, in a way that lasts! I don't want to starve either!
I bought a multi-vitamin b/c even though I eat plenty of fruits and veggies I wanted to be sure I was getting all the nutrients my body needed. I also bought a complete B complex supplement b/c I read that certain B vitamins are good for diabetics in helping to metabolize carbs and can help build anti-oxidents to combat the free radicals that can destroy a diabetic's body.
I'm committing to less sodium and more fresh! I am a total processed food junkie! I like EASY! Most everything that is easy is processed. But, I have always kept veggies chopped and separated into their own containers for easy salad making. I'm going to do the same for all cooking. Chop and prepare and then have the ease of throwing it all in a pot, pan or crock pot!
I'm committing to whole grains or nothing. No white bread at all! If for some reason I find I must eat OUT AND MY CHOICES ONLY OFFER WHITE BUNS OR BREAD i I will remove the bread completely!
I'm going to show a weight loss next week whether I am bloated from pain killers or not. Whether PMS has me by the throat or not. I'm going to finally WIN at this LOSING game!!
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