FOR THE ABUNDANCE OF MY BOUNTY I GIVE THANKS....

Friday, November 27, 2009

I tried to write this last night, but my computer locked up! so, hoping it will work tonight....

After reading Coach Jen's blog on being thankful for her body and then reading Coach Nancy's today about counting blessings I've been in a reflective mood! At first I thought..... What do I have to be thankful for in this body? It's blind; it's diabetic for 40 years; it's bigger than it ought to b; it is often tired; it certainly ain't what it used to be.... But even before I read Coach nancy's blog today I started to think about why I am thankful for this body and even all the problems it has had!

#1: This body is blind. I lost my eyesight 21 or so years go around age 23.... Such a big deal and I can't even recall exactly how long its been! Losing my eyesight was one of those blessings in disguise.... I was 22 or 23 and feeling I was absolutely invincible! No harm could come to my party girl body and I would live forever.... Then, in Sept. of whatever year it was I started to have trouble seeing at night.... Doctors' and parental voices rang in my head.... "With diabetes you could go blind..... If you don't take care of yourself you could go blind..... Blind, blind, blind!" At that time I actually thought, well if I go blind I'll be in my 50s and will have seen everything I need to see anyhow! What a dumb young girl I was! I went blind rather quickly in my early 20s and as I near 50 I know I never saw I wanted to see or needed to see or will ever see! But, losing my eyesight was a reality check..... I realized I had to start taking care of myself or other things might quit on me like my kidneys, my feet, my hands, my bowels! All of this is real and could happen! It didn't happen over night, but I started caring about me and the rest of my body! So, I often tell people and truly mean it.... Losing my eyesight saved my life!

#2: My disformed leg.... I am most thankful this year for my rather ugly, scarred and disformed left leg! A year ago I was still in a wheelchair having severely fractured my leg on February 2, 2008. I had emergency surgery to put me back together again and was in that wheelchair for a very difficult 10 months. I was in a cast for over a year! But, I have my leg and that is amazing! I could've very easily had to have it amputated. It has scars all over it from the surgery and from the fracture blisters I developed. It swells and often hurts and I can't wear all my sassy boots I own (I own ALOT), but it is here and I am walking at least 1 mile every single day!! I often walk 2 or more miles a day, but I aim for at least a 1 mile fitenss walk each day! I work out, I belly dance 3X/week and even started with a cast on my leg; I occasionally walk on a treadmill or with hubby and my dog; I do a spinning class when my schedule allows me; I do water aerobics.... I do things I was beginning to think I never would! Let me tell ya, wheeling around blind is not fun!! I am so thankful to be walking and on 2 legs even if one is rather ugly!

#3: I'm bigger than I want to be, but am 11 pounds lighter than when I started! I was 18 pounds lighter, but.... The thing is that my body is stronger probably than it ever has been and my endurance is up! I used to get winded just walking from the college to the car and now I can walk for a few miles before I even get tired. I can do a brisk 1 mile walk and barely get winded. I can swim farther, dance longer and have real muscles! Where my left calf was total flab after having the first cast removed, it is hard and solid and both legs are stronger and more defined than at least 2 of my friends who work on their feet all day! Wow! I'm still a work in progress, but I am progressing.... For that I am thankful!

#4: My body is still here! The docs told my parents early on I would be lucky to live to be 20 with my diabetes and the form it took.... Here I am, 6 months past my 44th birthday and 40 years of being diagnosed as Type 1 diabetic! Again, I say Wow!

Not only am I healthier, fitter and happier simply alive.... I am living! I love life and am blessed in so many ways! I have a wonderful, supportive husband who spoils me rotten! I actually never would've even talked to him or accepted a date when I could see (I could be very shallow back the and he is not my type). I have a wonderful dog that I love dearly! What a thrill to get kissed right on the face when I am doing my crunches or some other mat work.... I have both of my parents still and they are in relatively good health and are awesome! I have both of my in-laws who are also awesome! My cup truly runneth over! While I've had some serious losses in my life I am still lucky to have good friends and I can hear music, move my body, laugh and cry! I am thankful to be able to experience the full range of emotions life brings to the surface! Life hasn't been easy in no way, but it is what it is and I have survived and thrived! For all of this, I am thankful!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

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Feels Like Starting Over....

Sunday, November 08, 2009

WEllWell, I've decided to start over with SP.... I am restarting the whole program b/c I have strayed from my basic goals big time! No sooner I strayed and I gained weight! Honestly, I do wish I had an amazing metabolism that would allow me to eat what I want when I want, but I don't. I gave myself a "free pass" this week after my Grandpap died figuring on funeral food and the trip to my hometown where the eating is good! That free pass packed on the pounds and I feel awful. I feel fat, I have a rash I think from not drinking my water and the extra pounds and I just feel "blah"!

So, here I go again.... I can rededicate myself and do this right, right? I just feel so tired today that I don't ever want to take care of myself.... Blah, blah, blah....

I hate feeling this way! Today is the first day of the rest of my life happier, healthier and feeling fit! Here goes....

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Feeling Bad About Alot!

Sunday, November 01, 2009

If you read yesterday's blog, you know my Grandpap passed on Friday night. That is bad enough and you know Thursday was the anniversary of my brother's death too and that is even worse, and my sister is dead too and I feel kind of alone in my grief which is all very, very bad! But, I just realized that I have to be out of town and out of state starting today and will miss voting! I live in VA and we have a very important governor's race this year and I can't vote! I won't be here on Monday to go to the clerk's office to let them know my situation and feell really bad about this. Does anyone know what to do?

Yeesh, I was joking that I didn't want to vote b/c of all the negative campaign ads this year, but I truly was only joking! My vote does count and may be important!

The thought of missing it is giving me heartburn! So, even if I can't vote, be sure you do! If you are not registered, be sure to do so before your next election! It is your job as an American, that is if you are American! Thanks. Better try for some sleep....

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My Grandpap Died Last Night

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Well, I was going to dedicate today's blog to Halloween and fun Halloween memories, but found out this morning that my Grandpap passed away peacefully in his sleep last night. That is how he hoped to go and I am glad for that. This will mean an unexpected trip to PA for his funeral and alot of rearranging of schedules. All I can think is it is going to be a sad day at his local Shop & save.... As he aged and since my Grandma died 11 years ago he would go to his local Shop & Save and visit all the employees and always have a bouquet of flowers fixed to place on Grandma's grave. The people who worked there saved cans for him, chatted with him and listened to him repeat his same stories! They indulged him with pleasure. My grandpap worked at least 2 jobs as long as I've been alive and then would collect "junk" on the side to sell for extra money. He sent my Grandma a red rose for every year they were married up until their 50th. He loved his grandchildren and adored his 2 great-grandsons. As children he took us each blackberry picking with "buckets" he made from coffee cans with wire strung in them so we could hang them around our necks. He was always coming up with some new craft project to make whether it was Easter crosses made out of egg cartons, Christmas trees made out of egg cartons, homemade Christmas wreaths, step stools, ways to decorate the yard or Grandma's grave.... He was always coming up with something. He lived in his work clothes and for years raised a huge garden (veggies) and always had flowers planted for my Grandma, alive or after she died.... He was funny.

This death is a little too close to others, but what can I do? My heart is heavy, but I know he is in a better place and reunited with his wife and his grandchildren. Not only will we, his family miss him, but people all over his town will miss him!

Wow, I am blessed to have known and loved all 4 of my grandparents and to have had my Grandpap until I was 44 years old, but it still hurts. As many of you know, he turned 90 on October 13 and I am just happy he made it to his 90th birthday.

Ah, Grandpap, I'm going to miss you. I love you.

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