JAXMOMMY   152,359
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Progress, Not Perfection, Right?

Sunday, September 14, 2014

So, Phillip is my Weight Watchers Active Link. I encourage any of you who have experience with the WW Active Link to write in to me! I'm not motivated by Phillip, in fact I am getting discouraged. I tried to learn more about it yesterday when I had time, but the web site was down so I was just ready to scream!

The thing with the active link is that it is supposed to measure all your activity for the entire day, or at least for as long as you wear it. Some of you asked last time if Phillip was slow or broken and I'm not sure. I do know that I am not as active all day as I should be. However, when I work out I work out hard. And, since I starting wearing Phillip I have more steps in my day! I do wear a pedometer as well. But, with Phillip I have not earned one single activity point this week. This is discouraging to me because I've done some new stuff and I am still sore!

So, instead of dwelling on my faults with Phillip, because ultimately his faults stem from me being inactive all day, but shouldn't I at least earn a point for the hard workouts I do? Need more info and maybe I can gain that today in my small window of time I have!

On Friday, I did my first full Jillian Michaels Workout at Curves! Oh boy! My thighs still hurt! I do Curves Smart where my Curves Smart card continuously keeps me working harder on the machines to reach my goals. Jillian guides us thru a workout on the mats in between the machines. Any of you who follow Jillian know how tough some of her moves can be! Each month the Jillian workout changes and I like that so different muscles are always being challenged. A lot of peple get bored by Curves, but the time for a workout is great for me and now that I am doing the Jillian workouts I love it! Let me tell ya, I was spent after that workout! I have to go 4 times this week to make up a day I missed in the first week of the month and I won't do Jillian every day, but at least 1 day out of it!

I turned in my heart monitor on Friday, so hope to hear from the doctor some time this coming week. Funny, but after I took it off I noticed some weird heart rates at weird times. Figures, doesn't it?

With my husband.... He had 3 CT scans: head, chest and throat area. The head and chest scans came back "clean", but a "thickness" was noticed in his neck/throat and they already know that his vocal chords on the left side are paralyzed. The doctor wanted to see him first thing Monday morning, but husband insists he has to work, so is going in at 2 PM. We have no idea what this means, but will know tomorrow. Also, Hubby was supposed to get a fungal toenail removed on Thursday, but his blood sugar was way high! I'm not even going to get into the mistreatment from his PCP in this matter, but they still have not prescribed insulin and it is 3 days later! They, in fact, ignored him knocking at the door after the nurse said he could pick his script up at 2 PM.... He was there at 1 PM. They stop seeing patients at 12, but he was told to come pick up the prescription before 2. The woman was sitting there on the computer and wouldn't even look up to see who was knocking on the door. And, see? Just thinking about it makes my HR spike!

So, we are dealing with a lot! But, I plan to hang in with my 2 challenges here on SP as fully as I possibly can! Plus hold onto my job which is so difficult with every change the programmers make in programs we use! Life is good, but shouldn't it be just a little bit easier? don't worry, I know the answer to that one!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLEWIND53 9/16/2014 3:45AM

    All the best to your husband. I hope it wasn't bad news.......

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JANISMKW 9/15/2014 10:12PM

    Good for you! Sounds like Curves has come a long way since I was a member. (Now I go to the Y.) Lots of progress.
emoticon emoticon
Glad those 2 CTs came back clean and hope they sort out the throat one and other issues.

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PEGGYO 9/15/2014 10:03PM


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LESSOFMOORE 9/14/2014 7:51PM

    Melissa, I'm happy for you that your Curves got the Jillian Micheals workouts. They sound great!

I do hope that you're able to work things out with Phillip!


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BIGPAWSUP 9/14/2014 7:06PM

    Any device should be positive reinforcement. If you are not getting it from "Phil" I would suggest moving to someone else. Although you have inspired me to name my fitbit.

I know you are a monster when it comes to exercise. I have faith in you. You can and will achieve.

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ROCKPORT9 9/14/2014 3:32PM

    From your description, I am not a fan of "Phillip". I need positive reinforcement. I hope you and your DH get your health running smoothly soon. Hug your puppy:) Laurel

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NITTINNANA 9/14/2014 3:00PM

    Hang in there, Melissa! Have a great BLC round. Honey badgers was my second choice team, so I'm settling in pretty well. And I'm with JennG (BLACKROSE_222) now that she's back from her big trip last round to Brazil. Looking forward to keeping up with you.

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 9/14/2014 2:42PM

    Keep it up! Things will get easier! !

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CIPHER1971 9/14/2014 2:35PM

    I am sure you and Phillip will find a relationship that works for you.

Hope the results workout well and that your hubby is okay.

Have a great day

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ROXYZMOM 9/14/2014 1:59PM

    You will see success following Jillian Michaels - she is tough but worth it!

Can you call someone to report that office staff?

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I'm Ready To Divorce Phillip Already!

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

OK, yes, I'm an 80s teen which means I am part of the microwave generation and what I want, I want it now! Last night when I plugged Phillip in for my daily report I found that not only did I not earn any activity point, but I didn't even meet my baseline! What? I got up and did some kind of short workout as often as I could and apparently that wasn't often enough! Not even at baseline after 65 minutes of actual fitness? Guess what Phillip told me.... You are an athlete when you actually work out.... You work out hard and then you don't get much activity in between workouts. Well, I hate to admit it, but Phillip is right. So, my friends, I ask.... How do I make Phillip happy?

Grant you, in an actual relationship with an actual man I am the kind who will no longer give up herself to make a man happy. If he ain't happy with me being me, well don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! But, with Phillip, if he is happy I will be happy! I'm willing to change for Phillip! so, how? My jog is sitting down. I work at the computer sometimes all day and it seems getting up every hour on the hour won't work..... Do y'all have any suggestions on how to make my life more active?

When I say this, I mean just move more in general. I'd like to set up my computer on a treadmill, but I don't see that happening. For one thing I need to listen to my computer and I need to keep me fairly steady to be sure I am hitting the right keys, plus I don't want to ask my real husband to build or make anything else for me! Plus, my heart rate is still whacky.... So, I'm just not sure what to to do and welcome any and all suggestions!

Yes, this microwave kid wants Phillip to rack up tons of activity points and wants him to rack them up NOW, but obviously that ain't gonna happen. so, what do you do to keep your life more active and still get work done? Thanks in advance!

PS Life is still good even if I am more sedentary than I thought!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZELLAZM 9/14/2014 1:11PM

    Love the name choice! Fill 'em up!

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BIGPAWSUP 9/13/2014 3:04PM

    I have faith in you and sounds like Phil is a slave driver.

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2BEHEALTHY2014 9/11/2014 10:43AM

    It's hard to get your steps in you work at a computer every day. Try getting up every hour and walking for a few minutes. I know that's easier said than done, but it might help.

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PATTISTAMPS 9/10/2014 1:50PM

    Phillip must be a slave driver! But I know what he means. When I look at my daily step report. there is the great period of activity in the morning, and not much the rest of the day. Heck, only 300 steps for making dinner the other night! So I am trying to walk 50 steps every time I get up from my chair. Need a drink of water... 50 steps. Want to go to the rest room? 50 steps (although I can do that on the way back from the bathroom, LOL) Want a snack... make it 100 steps. And get up for each of those things. I try not to be efficient and combine my trips. I'll let you know if it works for me...

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TEDDYBEAR662 9/10/2014 8:57AM

    I agree with your twin! hee hee.
Is Phillip broken?!?! Working correctly?!?! Maybe do 25 jumping jacks every 15 minutes, or stand an march when you're at the computer?!!? I don't know, just trying to help. Good luck pleasing your "Phillip"... hee hee.

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LITTLEWIND53 9/10/2014 1:19AM

    Do you have an old fashioned step monitor (I'm not sure what they are called but you wear them either on your hip or on your shoes, and they count each step you take.....)

Try wearing both of them for 1 day and see if it's you not getting the steps in, or Phillip not knowing how to count.....

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ROXYZMOM 9/9/2014 10:08PM

    No clue - you get more legit exercise mins in more than anyone I know. Is Phillip "slow"??

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LESSOFMOORE 9/9/2014 9:01PM

    If you can't make Phillip happy, I wouldn't stand a chance!

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CIPHER1971 9/9/2014 5:09PM

    I try and get in 500 steps per hour on average, and to do a set of strength when I go to the bathroom. Not sure if that helps.

Have a great day

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SHANTODD420 9/9/2014 4:34PM

    Melissa you crack me up. You amaze me by the workouts you do every day. Keep moving and Phillip will catch up with you. We all just have to keep moving I am trying to move more now that the kids are back in school. I am thinking about finding a part time job as well.

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Monday, September 08, 2014

I joined Weight Watchers in May. I still have not met my 5% goal. When I get close, I gain. I'm not sure what I do or why I do it, but I do it. This will have to take some consideration and thought as to why I sabotage my weight loss success! I've been thinking about it, but with no good reasons as to why I self sabotage. Many addicts self sabotage and maybe I'm a food addict and once I eat healthy I want to ruin it all by eating the worse stuff possible? I don't know.

But, this blog is about Phillip. I finally broke down and got a WW Active Link. The active link gives you WW points for your activity. Well, that is all well and good, but you get activity points for any activity beyond your baseline. Apparently I am lazy. Who didn't know that? Yes, I work out like a fiend, but then I am sitting most of the rest of the time and Phillip is bringing the truth of my laziness to light! I sit for work. I work at the computer. I sit and watch TV. So, if this doesn't change I'll never get any activity points and Phillip is named Phillip because I wanted to fill it with activity points! I like how it measures all activity all day long and not just your workouts. this way I will learn to put more activity into my day and not just work out and then sit down! My old calculater broke and my new one doesn't have the alarm feature on it that I liked on my old.... I could set it to beep every hour on the hour from when I set it and get up and move! I'm sure I can do this on my phone, but haven't figured that out yet! But, I want to get back to getting up and either just moving a little or do a short, 10 min. workout at that point!

So, Phillip and I ar off to a somewhat rocky start, but we'll get there! We will get in sync and I will fill him with those points I want! And, I'll get healthier for doing it!

So, alright Phillip, let's go.....
PS Life is good!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTISTAMPS 9/9/2014 1:17PM

    I know what you mean... I am sitting at this darn computer WAAYYYYY too much! I get 6000 steps a day, but should have more! and I can see from my FitBit that all my activity is in spurts!

Your computer can also pop up reminders every hour - or whatever time you want... Just have to set an appointment with a reminder, and make it recurring every day. Hmmm... why have I not done this????

Hope today is a good day!


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TEDDYBEAR662 9/9/2014 9:20AM

    That's great Melissa! Cheers Cheers!! Here's to a great relationship with "Phillip"! Best of luck! HUGS!

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LESSOFMOORE 9/8/2014 9:49PM

    What a nice addition to your life!


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OPTIMIST1948 9/8/2014 9:36PM

    Here I thought Phillip was your dog or something...

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ROXYZMOM 9/8/2014 9:05PM

    I have no doubt you will make Phillip proud!!

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MALAMI518 9/8/2014 8:25PM

    I have the same problem as you do. I work out hard when I work out, but then so much of my life is still sedentary. You would think that a preschool teacher would get a lot of activity during class, but when you look at it honestly, there is a lot of sitting. Sitting to help with crafts, sitting to read the story, sitting at circle time, standing still to go over the calendar, sitting on the floor to play or do puzzles. Then at home it's computer or reading or standing relatively still while making dinner. I'll need to work at upping my overall activity, too.

I love the name you chose and why. I'm sure that you will start filling Phillip soon! (My grandfather, father, brother, and unlce are all Philips.)

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LITTLEWIND53 9/8/2014 8:03PM

    May you and Phillip and a long and beneficial union, lol

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SHANTODD420 9/8/2014 7:22PM

    Good luck getting used to Phillip.

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MASTERCARE 9/8/2014 7:13PM

    I told you it was an eye opener! I am fairly active most of the day because of work...my job is not a sit down job...and yet.....I STILL didn't do what I gave myself credit for. I am so thrilled you got Phillip! I am....

and ...you shall get there! PROMISE!

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CIPHER1971 9/8/2014 5:39PM

    Yay for Phillip - for me it was a step counter - same result - shock at how much I sat.

Have a great day

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PCOH051610 9/8/2014 5:33PM

    emoticon Phillip!!! You crack me up.

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UMBILICAL 9/8/2014 5:31PM


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Saturday, September 06, 2014

Today should've, would've been my brother and sister's 46th birthday! They were twins and they died within 4 months of each other. I miss them every day, but birthdays and holidays and death anniversaries are always a little bit tougher. I miss them every day. I am a lucky person because I was close to both of them. the 3 of us were truly friends. I would even consider them my best friends. It's been hard to face the other difficulties in my life without them. They are dead 10 years this year. I never thought I could go on after my sister died in a car accident and then when my brother had heart failure following dialysis just 4 months later I thought my world had ended. It didn't. I kept going. I needed them when my mom died. I needed them when I got Jack because both of them loved dogs. I needed them when my Dad had his stroke as I am not the caregiver of the family. I needed them when I had to put Jack down.... Well, you get the picture. I just need them. My nephew called today and asked if today was his mom's birthday. I told him yes. I maintained while we talked about crazy stuff she did and how much she loved him and then after we hung up I lost it! As people have sent me little notes to say they are thinking of me today I've cried but it is that kind of crying that releases the tension and ctually makes one feel better. I mis them and I always will until we are perhaps reunited!

My husband is actually sick now. He says he feels like the nurse practitioner didn't sterilize the probe she stuck down his throat t ofind that his vocal chords are paralyzed and maybe he is correct. I mean, she told him all infection was clear and now he can hardly brethe and his lung hurts like he has pneumonia! Of course in his business of 4 people he is the only one who works and he had to go out on a service call that has taken all day!

The computer has been a real pain in my rear all day today too! It locks up. It quits talking. It does crazy stuff. But, I perservere.

No wonder my heart beats erratically! So, when I get this way I need to do my attitude of gratitude!

1. I am thankful I had a brother and sister I do miss. Not ones that I didn't care if they lived or died.

2. I am thankful my husband is employed even if they need to cut him a break!

3. I'm thankful I got a lot of work done today despite multiple computer problems.

4. I'm thankful I have Spark friends and fleshie friends who do care and give me faith in human kind! Life is good....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALAMI518 9/8/2014 8:21PM

    I didn't see this until now. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you had the time and closeness with your brother and sister when you did, and I am so sorry that they had to leave you too soon.

I love your attitude of gratitude and the positive outlook that you can find. Also, I am glad that your nephew has you to talk to. What a blessing you must be to him!

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LESSOFMOORE 9/7/2014 9:08PM

    Melissa, as always, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!


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KELLYFROG 9/7/2014 11:11AM

    Thinking of you today and knowing you are strong and will get through these tough days. Hoping your husband feels better soon!

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BIGPAWSUP 9/7/2014 8:15AM

    Wishing you peace today.

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CIPHER1971 9/7/2014 2:54AM

    It sounds like you have acceptance of your siblings death, which is all any of us can ask for.

I hope you get your hubbie to a doctor ASAP, if he is feeling that bad when there he should be getting better something is wrong.

wishing you a good day and happiness

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LITTLEWIND53 9/7/2014 12:06AM

    I was thinking the other day that it has been 30 years since my dad dies, and 11 years since my Mom.

I still miss them but over time, it has gotten easier for me. I hope it gets easier for you as time goes on. It is wonderful that you spent some time with your nephew talking about his mother. That must have been so comforting for him....

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MCFITZ2 9/6/2014 9:18PM

    Sorry that it has been such an emotionally draining and challenging day.
Hugs emoticon

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ROXYZMOM 9/6/2014 9:09PM

    I hope great memories popped in your mind today. It has to be so tough.

You know Melissa, you really don't give yourself enough credit. You are a tough, strong lady with a heart of gold. You are tougher than you think .

Also: I think your hubby may have a lawsuit...

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2BDYNAMIC 9/6/2014 8:44PM

    My heart goes out to you ............. You have certainly been through your share ............ More than your share of loss for which I am really sorry for. If I were there, I would give you a huge hug ........ and let you cry it out .......... But I can only send you a hug from here ............ And as one pointed out in post before mine .......... possibly a trip to ER is necessary; ........ hubby ....... I hope he mends quickly ....................... emoticon

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UKNOWITNOW 9/6/2014 8:16PM

  Sorry for the loss of your brother and sister.
Good that you have many things to be thankful for.
Peace be with you. emoticon

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ROCKPORT9 9/6/2014 8:12PM

    You have been through a lot and going through more! Bless you for still reaching out. I hope your dear husband gets the health care he needs. Hugs and prayers, Laurel emoticon

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NITTINNANA 9/6/2014 7:53PM

    Hugs, Melissa, re: your brother and sister. But, PLEASE, take care of your husband! If he has a temp,I'd recommend a trip to urgent care if you have one, ER if you don't. And even without a temp, infection isn't the only possibility here. Pain and difficulty can also mean other serious things. If it turns out to be nothing, or no big deal, terrific! If there's anything truly wrong, you don't want to wait until Monday.

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KIPSTER52 9/6/2014 7:49PM

    "When you get to your wits end, you will find, God lives there." ~Author Unknown

Hang in there emoticon

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KEEPITUP62 9/6/2014 7:44PM

    In spite of all the challenges you are and have been facing, you still have a p[ositive outlook. THIS is what makes you a winner.

Keep the faith and may God Bless you.

Sending Gentle Hugs
Susan emoticon

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Thank You Spark Friends!!!!

Friday, September 05, 2014

Thank you all for the kind, encouraging words regarding my husband's health! I know I should not borrow trouble and wait and see, but since I've had so much tragedy in my life I tend to jump to catastrophic conclusions immediately!

I am lifted by your kind words and advice not to worry. My real life friends are not giving me the same advice or really listening to me. I guess I have too many tragedies for them to handle!

On the good side of the news.... I went to the cardiologist today and he felt that my EKG was fine and that my heart sounded good. Of course I had no palpitations while there! He does want me to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours. I can't get it until Wednesday. He said that despite the rapid HR that I am able to keep exercising without feeling faint and that I have not passed out or felt dizzy were all good signs. He said from his in office visit he didn't detect anything that sounded like a blockage. He said he would call me with the heart monitor results when we get them.

He was rather impressed with my health considering my 45 years of diabetes and blindness. So, guess I'm doing OK. We will go from there!

Life is good.... Spark friends are better!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJREIMERS 9/6/2014 9:14PM


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BIGPAWSUP 9/6/2014 6:26PM

    You are loved and supported. We will be there for you.

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CIPHER1971 9/6/2014 7:51AM

    So glad that there doesn't seem to be anything seriously wrong with you. We are here for you whenever you need us.

Have a great day

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LITTLEWIND53 9/5/2014 10:52PM

    One worry crossed off the list....... Here's hoping the rest can be crossed off as well.....

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JANISMKW 9/5/2014 9:59PM

    Great news. Hope your husband gets good news too.
Keep taking care of yourself.
God bless.

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MALAMI518 9/5/2014 8:12PM

    Great news from the cardiologist! Now I hope that your husband gets great news, too.

My husband always tells me, "Don't bleed before you're shot," when I start worrying about all the what ifs.

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ROCKPORT9 9/5/2014 6:34PM

    Keep taking care of your health.....and putting one foot ahead of the other! Continued hugs and prayers.

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