Sunday, June 09, 2013
My weight seems to have jumped up two pound outs of no where. I know.. two pounds is probably just fluctuation...but its been a few days and my weight doesn't really fluctuate much. I haven't changed anything except my stress level and MORE exercise. This is so frustrating..why can't I ever see any results? I eat better than ever and exercise on a regular basis (longer than ever) with nothing to show for it.
I heard a little something about how your body's PH can affect your weight. Apparently, stress can affect your PH. If that is what caused these two pounds to show up, then I really need to look in to this because it seems like nothing else changes my weight. I swear, I could eat cheeseburgers on a daily basis and I'd lose weight but if I eat super healthy, I gain it! I don't understand my body at all.
I looked at the chart and I do eat a lot of acidic foods (coffee, beer, cheese, nuts, and beef being the main culprits) but I also eat apples and oranges every day and any greens I can get my hands on. Of course, the best thing to eat is leafy greens but I never seem to have those since they go bad in like 2 days. I am just not up to grocery shopping every two days on top of school and work. But if that's what it takes...
I am going to try and make green juice every day. I love the stuff but like I said, I just never have groceries! I can't wait to be out of college and on a steady work schedule with a paycheck. My stress is through the roof right now! Something has to change..I have to get on a schedule or something and find some sanity in this new life style. Being laid off has been a huge challenge. The plan was for me to go to school full time and the fiance would support me but we just couldn't afford it so now I work on my no-school days. I don't know how moms do this..mine did. Super heroes!
On top of all that, my hip is really bothering me again. I don't know what to do, I am not sure if I should just work through it or rest. Rest didn't seem to help in the past. Plus, it is hard to rest it when your school doesn't have stairs! (ok..and I refuse to take the elevator at the parking garage..haha). I went to a few doctors when I had health insurance but none of them took me seriously. I guess they thought I wanted pain pills (which I would have refused if they were offered because that wont fix the problem permanently). Now I don't have the option to keep harassing the doctors.
Sorry for the whiny post. I had to get it out! Now that I complained, I will try and find a solution. Then do homework *sigh*.
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
Hey strangers! A lot has changed since I was here last (except my weight. sigh).
I am STUCK at this weight but I am still working out at least. Booze is still the problem, I am re-reading that awesome book that helped me quit last time. I lost my job (our company got bought) and I started school full time :). I am studying business and I really enjoy it!
I have ran a regular 5K, the Dirty Girl Mud Run 5K, and the Run For Your Lives 5K (the zombie one!) since I was on here last. We didn't run the whole things (you couldnt in the last two! It would be too dangerous on most parts) but we had a blast! The zombie run was really hard because there were so many steep hills and you had to sprint at the top. Easily the hardest workout of my life and I learned a lot about myself and what I can handle that day. We were so proud, it was really rewarding! The Mudrun was much easier and SO MUCH FUN!!! If you have a chance, DO THIS RUN! Most women didnt run one step so dont worry if you arent a runner!
So even though I weigh the same, I do not look the same. I had muscle now. I have never had a defined calf muscle and I put on a skirt the other day and I said "Holy crap!!! Yay!!!" haha! My posture is getting better and things don't jiggle like they use to. So while I am sad about the fat, I have never felt this healthy before.
Now I am doing body weight training. I read a book called Convict Conditioning and I am following that program in addition to running. I highly recommend it, I learned a lot. Weight training with regular weights is dangerous and unnecessary. My goal isn't to be all muscley, my goal is to be strong and have complete control over every part of my body.
I think the next thing I need to do (and have been struggling with since April) is to get myself on a schedule. Wake up at this time, eat at this time, work out at this time, ect. I seem to have my self on a good sleep schedule at least, I never need the alarm. I use to work out with my friend and her work schedule changes all the time so I think I will just start running alone and then if she can run, I will have an additional work out that day. I do not get much of a work out with her anymore. She has convinced herself (out of no where) that she can't run. We always walk now, I can't remember the last time we ran. I like walking with her but to be honest, I would rather run alone because 1. no complaining-no negative atmosphere 2. I have time to clear my head and 3. I can listen to music which helps to keep me going. So I think I will run before or after class alone now.
I HAVE to lose weight by August because it is time to wedding dress shop. I swear I am self sabotaging or something, I don't know why I can't control the booze and food. Last time was a wake up call. I had like 8 or 9 beers, Mexican for lunch and cheetos for dinner. This isn't typical but WHY DID I DO THAT?! I was doing so well with the booze. We got boxed wine (classy!) and I had 5oz bottle that I measured out and I could only have 1 or 2 a day. That was working really well until I ran out. I really just need to not drink but I know if I tell myself I can't, then I will binge (last night for an example). I guess this is where my focus needs to go now that the working out is under control and a habit now.
Long blog! I don't think anyone reads these anymore but it feels good to get this all out of my head :). Plus, I think I do a little better when I am active on SparkPeople because once I get involved in a community, we motivate each other and I don't want to disappoint my people!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tomorrow is weigh in day and I have not lost a pound this whole month. I have been working out like crazy though so I am hoping to have lost at least one inch. I drank a lot more than I should have this month. Still, a lot less that before my AF free month. When this problem started, I was drinking an entire (LARGE) bottle of whiskey at least once a week (and that isn't counting the beer). The worst was in 2008. This month was a "bad month" and I only got drunk twice..big improvement! Still, I had 2 or 3 beers a few nights and that is a lot of calories. I hope this trend continues where I drink less and less. Before the AF month, I was having about 5 beers every night and this month, I didn't drink every day at least. And when I did it wasn't 5! I just need to focus and remember what I learned in my AF month. I need to reread that book.
I think the real problem this month is the bad food I ate. I worked out hard so I felt hungrier than usual and made poor food choices in response. We went to the store last night though and I am ready to do better! I have also been slacking on the water (which is why I am so hungry I am sure). I can feel the crappy food. I have been lethargic and grouchy. My body misses its vitamins. I wish healthy food didn't go bad so quickly, it is hard to keep it stocked up in the house!
One of the things I have been working on is my flexibility. I am naturally very flexible and I think I am only working on this because I need to see results SOMEWHERE. My New Years resolution was to be able to do a split this year. I think I will be able to do it! I have been working hard on it and have made fast progress :). My hip flexors are super tight though :(. We are still running too but my running buddy is having some major life problems so we have not been moving up on C25K so we are still on Week 7. After about 5 minutes, she wants to walk the rest. Our first 5k is at the end of March and we won't be ready by then. Luckily, it is for runners and walkers so it isn't that big of a deal but I really wanted to run the whole thing.
Alright, time to be productive. Everyone have an awesome day!
Monday, February 18, 2013
At some point in this short year, my goal has completely shifted from "I want to lose weight and look better" to "I want to be strong and amaze myself with what my body can do". I feel so much regret right now. I wish I would have done more in high school. Regrets are toxic, I know. I am trying to move past it now. I just missed out on a so much thanks to my panic disorder and depression. I see now why parents force kids to do sports. Now I am nearing 30 and I should be at my peak fitness level and I am not. Huge regret.
Anyway, forgive me, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! So I have always been interested in yoga. I always enjoy the DVDs. Stretching (despite the controversy) and core exercises are my two favorite things! And I really adore Pilates too..but I am looking for that mind-body connection. I need one real bad! So I went down the Yoga rabbit hole. Man was that discouraging. There is so much negative feedback about Yoga and how it isn't a real thing, how its made up by American entrepreneurs and blah blah blah. I wish they'd rename it. Why is it such a bad thing if it makes so many people happy and healthy? I get there's a lot of snobs associated with it. That's just people though, ignore them! I just want to build up my strength and learn to connect my mind and body while I do it. I want to learn to breath correctly and learn to relax. When I have been able to achieve that in the past, its very rewarding. I want to be able to stand in a handstand for 60 seconds! Why is that so evil? I live in a pretty underpopulated area so yoga classes are not an option. Even if we do have one or two, I doubt the teachers know much more than I do. Plus I am broke. So any recommendations? I looked at books and DVDs and I am just completely overwhelmed. I want a long term program that has all levels because I won't be in the beginner stage long (just my arms holding me back there). I found a website with a ton of videos that I will explore, I just want something consistent though.
Ok next-C25K update- We are on week 7. Its tough but we are doing it. We can run without a break for 10 minutes now (which shocked us!). We stopped for a 1 minute break during 20 min which was awesome! I ran without my running buddy a few times (she's been working) and man have I been holding back. I did Week 2 with my dad and could barely keep up! He's much faster due to being taller. I ran one week 7 alone and I was really proud of myself. I only had a 13 min mile but this was on a VERY hilly course. I was so sore the next day! I went a half a mile further than usual though! So today we are going on a flat route. I don't think we are quite ready for the 25 min without a break on "4 wheel drive hill" just yet. We will be getting fitted properly for shoes finally too thanks to income tax!
Haven't lost any weight in two weeks but I am not that upset. I haven't been eating well but I have been working out so I am feeling good. Lack of groceries makes eating well very difficult!
That's all for today!
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