Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Today I signed up for boot camp! Am I scared? Of course I'm scared! LOL but no turning back now. It's fitness boot camp and I have a chance to do 8 classes for the trial period! I have some goals set and after speaking with the owner of the program I believe that he can help me reach my full potential! I have poisoned myself in the mind for so long thinking that I would not attempt anything that was too challenging because I hate losing. Well I refuse to continue to treat my weight loss goals this way. I cannot be afraid of losing this weight. I cannot be afraid of what happens when I shed it. I cannot be afraid of developing great habits. I cannot be afraid of taking this bull by the horns and dancing on the fat grave. Yes I said it....I want to laugh in the face of fear and let it be known to myself that I have surpassed my comfort zone.....you see I know the right principles. I know the right foods, I have the right tools. I have often thought that if only I could own workout machines then I would be able to lose the weight....not so as evidenced by the dusty treadmill that sits in the corner lonely. I have even fed into several gym memberships that promises miles and miles of machines to get my shape in check...hmm...I wonder how many months of gym memberships I have paid for that that money could have been used elsewhere? So then I moved on to nutritional programs such as a diet that said... "you can't change your weight until you change your mind" Well duh! LOL....Don't you think I know that....that's why I came here for you to change my mind. Funny after about $1000.00 and some horrible tasting snacks and bars etc....they still couldn't get it right...I hope the food bank enjoyed serving some of those "healthy snacks" because that's where it went. My mind still wasn't changed. Then I did it....I got a personal trainer. He made me run stairs, do leg ups, and cardio like no tomorrow. It worked for a while until you guessed it.....I decided that I wasn't losing fast enough....I hated exercise anyway it was much easier to eat....there's that mind again....crazy...I know. So then I fast forward some years after having my first baby....breastfeeding...lose weight...yes where can I sign up? Oh another scam....not breastfeeding that is....(people please breastfeed)....however don't eat enough food for 4 breastfeeding moms. Go walking and still eat healthy foods otherwise you end up gaining back the pregnancy weight and then some more to keep it company. I did enter 100 days of fitness competition. I attained gold status....I lost 20 lbs! I came in second place! I was in a good space at that time. I had no job and so exercising and eating right was my full-time job. I have been off an on the weight loss wheel for a while...I won't bore you with any more details but I must say....I'm on this wheel again but I am not going backwards anymore...baby steps towards my victory....that's just the way it has to be. Are there any more options for me? Nope!