JANNIEWANNIE   21,574
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JANNIEWANNIE's Recent Blog Entries

Are you convinced?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I don’t know when or why I started believing that being me was bad. God created me to participate in life and contribute my unique talents for the benefit of all. Being me is wonderful! Now all I have to do is convince myself that it is true.

What needs convincing in you?

Take care of you and your health, Janet

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECKY44 8/23/2009 9:55AM

    Being 'You' IS important. Please don't forget that. You are unique, that's why we are called 'individuals' ... there is no one quite like us. Every one of us is needed in our own place, to make that part of the world 'right' as God has wanted it to be.

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YATMAMA 8/23/2009 12:23AM

    The accuser of the brethren works very hard to make us feel that way. Thank God for revelation!!

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JULSISGOOD 8/22/2009 9:35PM

    Really true!
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--Juls

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SOMETIMES GIVING BIRTH TO A BLOG TAKES A LONG TIME.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I started this blog two days ago, but the "laboring" was interrupted when I got my sister's poor health news. Focusing on my health issues faded into the background until my fears for her were faced and a small amount of reluctant acceptance settled in.

Birthing a healthier lifestyle sometimes gets interrupted too. It seems like so many fears come to the surface and must be faced. Enduring pain without our old crutches can be very scary; but if we practice new behavior patterns long enough, they will feel like a natural part of us. Fears subside as confidence builds.

Spark is a safe place to "labor" as we give birth to a healthier lifestyle. This journey has no timetable, so give yourself permission to take as much time as you need to feel comfortable with your newborn habits. Explore the Spark site regularly for new ideas and inspiration; then tweak your plan as you move forward. Make taking care of yourself your top priority.

Practice makes perfect; so take some deep breaths and give birth to a healthier new you. You will be greatly rewarded for your efforts. Take care of you and your health today. Janet








  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETSY1269 9/21/2009 8:19PM

  This blog is so inspiring to me! Thank you for sharing. emoticon

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NMORTON 9/1/2009 8:27PM

  Dear Janet, Thank you for adding me as your friend. I am honored. This is the first time I've read blogs in Sparks. Spending way too much time in Facebook. :-D This morning my kitty "Bella" knocked a hand mirror off the sink. Guess what happened? I'm not superstitious about it either. I believe that I came to this site today because I have a real need. Thank you for helping me. My thoughts and prayers are with you as well.

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TEA_NUT 8/23/2009 2:07PM

    Great blog!!! Practice makes perfect, I was just thinking about that myself the other day......thank you for sharing such a well-thought out blog.

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ONEMORETHING 8/23/2009 9:50AM

    It seems that it may of took you a few days to get your thoughts together but that was a very good blog and I bet you feel like a new healthy person too? It take time to get your thoughts together and it seems like you did a great job!

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TERIE93 8/23/2009 4:31AM

    Great blog, thanks for sharing.

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PEDIPOD 8/22/2009 9:31PM

    I was just thinking today that my belly was bigger recently than at term of my daughter's birth years ago. Sad that we ever let ourselves get like that -- so much labor to un-do it.

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MOFOLU138 8/22/2009 9:12PM

    This was very thoughtful of you, Thanks 'cause you are 100% right.I wish your sister well emoticon

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LASHARINK 8/22/2009 8:16PM

    Didn't really know what to expect when a fellow sparker let us know about your blog except that it must have been really inspiring for her to want to share it with us. She was definitely right, glad I stopped by. Your blog is a reminder for many of us on this journey that weight gain didn't happen over night and our expectations shouldn't be for us to lose it overnight. It will take time, and more importantly we should take the time to lose it right or to just become a healthier person!! Thank you for your thoughtful words and my prayers are with you and your sister.

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JANETM42 8/22/2009 7:17PM

    Your blog was very inspiring. We share a name. I'm "Jannie" to the 20+ children I have taken care of over the years. I was never able to have my own, so I made a career out of taking care of other peoples children. I hope now, having read your blog, I'll be able to share some of your hope and optimism as well.
Janet

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JANETK53 8/22/2009 6:58PM

  Happy Thoughts and working on this journey daily is what we all need to do...we know not what tomorrow brings....we just go with whatever comes our way....things happen for a reason and we adapt...Day by Day my friend... emoticon

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AMYMLE 8/22/2009 6:33PM

    What a thoughtful and well-written blog. My hopes and prayers go out for your sister's health.

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YISCAH 8/22/2009 5:56PM

    So true - and prayers to your sister as well!

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LINDA! 8/22/2009 5:43PM

    You are so right about several things...one of them being that there is no timetable. For that reason, we should never give up. We have ups and downs but never give up is my motto!~

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BLJ764 8/22/2009 2:20PM

    Interesting images of laboring and birthing a new you! There are days / weeks / month's I feel that I have been in an endless birth cycle and this "child" (i.e. weight loss journey) will NEVER move into the maintenance phase of life!

Thank you for your encouraging words and the accompanying analogies!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 8/22/2009 10:54AM

    So very true.
We cannot take health for granted
And need to put it in the fore.

Your sister is in my prayes.

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 8/22/2009 8:04AM

    What healthy girls we are birthing! It is a labor of love.
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SEKSUNSHINE 8/22/2009 7:10AM

    You are giving birth to a beautiful healthy girl. Keep it up!

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SLIMMERKIWI 8/22/2009 6:21AM

    A very appropriate and eye-catching title. AND you have described it beautifully!

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JULSISGOOD 8/22/2009 3:27AM

    Such great words of wisdom! Thank you for sharing your process with us.
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--Juls

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KYLASEDAI 8/22/2009 12:56AM

    Starting (or starting over, in my case) is always the hardest.
Hope your sister is well!

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IF I HAD A BAG OF COOKIES RIGHT NOW...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Why didn't I get a bag of cookies last time I went to the store? A treat now and then would not be a problem. Well that may be true; but if those cookies were here right now I would be eating them all. Now what is really going on here?

My Monday went like this: doctor appointment>lunch with friends>tired, but no nap>logged into Spark when we got home>added large portion of ice cream for dessert after supper>sucking on candy through the evening>munching on popcorn>feeling the need to write about these thoughts and feelings.

My program needs to be tweeked a little and I am rebelling against it. I feel the need to take a few more steps in the right direction and I JUST DON'T WANT TO! I have been tracking my food privately, but I feel the need to become a little more honest with myself by tracking on Spark where I can get some feedback on my nutrition. I have been eating well and losing, but I also realize that as time goes by, tweeking will have to be done if I want to get my body healthier.

I feel like I am giving up some of my control by doing that. I am not focusing on what is best for my health. It is like I am admitting to myself that I have abused my body even more than my perpetrator did and I don't want to admit that responsibility for myself. The fact is I know in my heart it is the truth and a bag of cookies would really help to push these feelings down!

It is pretty hard to swallow and accept that the biggest abuser in my life wasn't him; IT HAS BEEN ME! When you have suffered through abuse, you become convinced on many levels that you do not deserve any better. To heal on all those levels they have to be faced and dealt with one by one. It is confusing and painful; but you just have to get to the bottom of things.

Right now I am so thankful that there are no cookies in the house. Thank you for being there for me 24/7. These insights come when they come, just like giving birth to a baby. This time my true self is the one being born. I guess pain with "childbirth" is to be expected.

Take care of you and your health. And thanks for listening. Janet

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEPGREENBEAN 8/20/2009 4:32AM

    Very interesting blog. Thank you for fine writing and keen insight.

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Take care of that baby!

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-SHAWN- 8/19/2009 7:03PM

    I agree with Jan... carbs are seducing.

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MOV4WARD 8/19/2009 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonHi Janet ~ we're just meeting but I see we share a few teams and struggles and heartbreak. So, thought i'd share a couple thoughts that pinged as i read (& cried with you) your blog.... Feelings are normal. I think they are our bodie's way of screaming that something craptacular has happened! I also tend to dive into food when my emotions start screaming! And I agree that it helps to acknowledge & deal with the feelings & (prior) events that trigger them.... so then we can move on. Sometimes i just even have to acknowledge them and set them aside until I am better able to cope & deal with them rationally (like after a good night's sleep or talking with a close friend/counselor or journaling ;)

anyway,

emoticonanyway... yes, we have hurt ourselves with too much food. i just wanted to share that it's ok now to take care of ourselves ~ we are as precious as any baby ~ and have every much as right to live, breathe, be happy, function, have home, family & friends & life as everyone else. if we were raising a kidlet, especially a baby, we would feed, swaddle them with tlc and help raise them up so they can have a better life ahead... so my thought one time was that it's ok to be our own mumsie now, and help our inner 2 yr old child/baby that rages against the pain... and hopefully, as we spark2gether & share the good & the tuff stuff, we'll make progress together :)

big*squi*shy*hugs. i' hope you're feeling better after a good nights sleep & that the strong emotions have eased....

emoticonjules

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JANETK53 8/19/2009 4:36AM

  Sometimes not getting the comfort food is the best thing....I've found that knowing what is good for me and what isn't makes a world of differences.....I find when I do a late night at work like last night....that baby ruth was calling my name.....I almost bought it....but after punching out, I walked by the front counter and thought, "Wow! That Was Easy". Once in the parking lot I forgot all about the candy bar.....I think leaving the cookies at the store was a good choice like my candy bar last night. emoticonA thought leaves a quickly as it comes to mind, so we find out when we really think about our day. Living in the moment is all it takes....Enjoy! Life is GOOD. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAM60SUMTHINK 8/18/2009 11:33PM

    Tailoring use of the site to meet your needs and interests is actually fun, so have FUN making whatever change you decide to make in how you do things.

The Getting Started Guide is a good place to revisit!;
that page has changed a lot since you joined!
Access it at the center top of your Start Page (small letters, red font) . It's healthy to go back and review or even reset things from time to time, too! :)

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JULSISGOOD 8/18/2009 6:14PM

    I loved your blog - I relate to it in seeing I need to change something, and then realizing I have to take responsibility for it, before I can change it, not that I am a bad person, but that I treat myself the way I learned to be treated, and it's painful, confusing, frustrating, often not well defined, bringing up questions of my worth and competency. Good job not having the cookies in the house! I spent all last month working on not bringing home foods I use to inoculate myself against feelings with. Maybe some day I will be okay to have them in the house, but for now, it is the best self-care I can give myself. I think you're asking the right questions, and I think your blog is very wise. I'm glad you shared, and I'm glad you are here!
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--Juls

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REDHOTDIVA 8/18/2009 1:11PM

    Janet, what an awesome and powerful blog. Loving yourself, especially after years of abuse, is one of the hardest things we learn to do. A few years ago, when the Sopranos was on air, I remember one of the things that Dr. Melfi told Tony was that it is much easier to blame yourself for abuse than to accept that a person who you love does not love you. Once we fall into that self-blame cycle, we become our own abusers, because we feel like we're just not good enough, and the self-abuse can last for years - I'm still digging my way out from some of the emotional issues my mom put me through, and I've been out of the house for nearly 15 years!

Hang in there, keep working at it, and know that you are never, ever alone and that you are a lovable, worthwhile person despite any mistakes you might make (or cookies you might eat if they're in the house)! emoticon

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GRAMMABENJI 8/18/2009 12:59PM

    you will get past that cookie addiction. Stop being so hard on yourself. this is not an easy road for any of us. If it was we would not be here for support, encouragement, fitness, and nutriton help. we are all here to help you along the way. YOU deserve this so don't ever give up on YOU. YOU are worth it. good luck

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SLCB1023 8/18/2009 11:01AM

    I would be lying if I said the trip is easy. Those first few days/weeks of getting off sugar/carbs are rough. But once you do that, then things are much much easier. Try eating more protein during the day... in fact whenever you are hungry or think you are. Chew gum, drink water, walk, anything to take your mind off the need to feed. emoticon

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JANRTEACH 8/18/2009 10:33AM

    The fewer carbs you have, the fewer you will want. It's strange but it works. A friend of mine refused to try low carb and finally did -- the change was instanteous once he gave up the carbs.

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RLMCCUE 8/18/2009 10:03AM

    Janet, you've written a great blog, and it's great that you were able to get your feelings out there.

I'm not a survivor of abuse so I'll never know what you've gone through, but I think you're being to hard on yourself. Your self-abuse will never compare to the abuse that you suffered at the hands of another. I understand the feeling that you do not deserve any better very well. It's important to acknowledge it and face it head on. You are a good person and deserve the very best in life. That needs to become a mantra, and you need to fake it until you make it.

Good luck on your journey and thank you for sharing!

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ANGEL_OF_HOPES 8/18/2009 9:09AM

    Janet,that's a great blog...U r strong and I believe in u...Someday u gonna make it once and for all.
totally agree about eating the whole package.sweets mainly satisfy everything for me even pain so when mammy keep these stuff in reach at home...I hate that I'm seeing them available...we all know what's healthy and what's not for our own body...we only have to minimize.

Keep it up the awesome work & Try to update me

Hugs,
menna

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KITT52 8/18/2009 8:51AM

    Janet great job, you made it with out a bag of cookies....You are strong and you are on the right track....in time you will get to your goals..it's one day at a time...you know what you need to do to reach YOUR goals so don't let anyone stand in your way including yourself....
Yes we are here for you day or night


Kitt

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NANCYJEAN6 8/18/2009 8:47AM

    Janet,
What an honest and presiously personal insight as to what your dealing with right now. Janet I know that you speak for so many others who are going through the same things. Your identifying with your inner self is a awesome revelation for you to bring the inner healing you need to move ahead in your life changing journey.
It does get easier the more you resist the more the victories mount up in your favor!!
Your gonna be fine, we're all here for you!!
Agape,
Nancy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHANA-D 8/18/2009 6:15AM

    I can relate to your difficulty in being able to control oneself from eating that whole bag of cookies, or chips, or ice cream if it is there in the house "calling your name". I try to buy snacks for the rest of my family that I don't like myself, so I won't be tempted to eat them, and I try to have snacks just for me that are low calorie, and yet appealing to me, which I tell the rest of the family - are off limits to them. Why not try to stock up on satisfying snacks for you, so you can still snack when you feel the need, without the guilt. Skinny cow ice cream sandwiches 140 calories, 60 calorie chocolate pudding, 100 calorie popcorn bags, low fat yogurt, fresh fruit, 25 calorie peaches, apples, bananas are some of my favorites. Keep on Sparking!
You can do it ! You are a good person, and you deserve good things! We are all here to support you.

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KNIGHTS6 8/18/2009 5:32AM

    Hi Janet
I am glad that you did not have the cookies at home when you are so tempted but as you say you can have them as a treat but its all about self control which can be very hard.
take care
love Angela emoticon

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PLAYFULLKITTY 8/18/2009 3:55AM

    Janet, i also found after my divorce, that i could, luckily get away from that abuser... but i could not get away from me... which means i had to find the person in there that i loved before i married the abuser...and i had to actually start liking her again.... and stop abusing her....it's still a hard one....we learned so well that we were worthless.... but we are not....i'm glad you didn't have that bag of cookies in the house tonight :) hugs to you.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 8/18/2009 2:08AM

    I was glad to read your post. Glad to see that you are experiencing growing pains. BLogging is a healthy was to vent your feelings and certainly better for you than eating those cookies. I am glad that you didn't buy them. Give yourself a gold star for leaving them on the shelf. Bright blessings to you my friend. We're all in this together and we all experience growing pains now and then. Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. It helps us all to recognize ourselves through one another. Love ya, Dawn emoticon

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LOSINGLINNDY 8/18/2009 1:24AM

    I understand totally about eating the whole package. There are certain foods that I can not have in the house. Now I have found a source of soy based pretzels that are so good. With my wheat allergy I have not been able to eat them for 30 years. Now if they are in the house, I can not leave them alone. I really what to have them available, so DH said he would take them to work and bring one 100 calorie pack a day when I order more.

Please do not be so hard on yourself. You have done the best you could in each situation. Now you are learning more about yourself. Use the info in a positive way. Instead of blaming you, congratulate yourself for being open to new knowledge which will help you grow as a person. You are doing great. Keep writing.

Hugs, Gaylinn

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JUDYPOPPINS 8/18/2009 1:09AM

    You know what's a little scary...self-discovery continues as we go through our life's journey. Just when you think you have it all figured out! Bamm...a new revelation (sometimes positive; occasionally not-so; but always a indication of where you need to go on our path.

My relationship with food goes way back and it's still important to me...it can be wonderful and it can be destructive. Since food is the inanimate...the issues have to be within me.

But we discover these things, often through trial and error....and get back to the business of living a healthy, happy life.
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NATURALSTYLE 8/18/2009 12:32AM

    Yes self revelation can be a B***h, but just like the onion skins or the onion itself there are many layers. Some painul and others enlightening, but we are not overcome by them. My downfall was the red velvet cupcakes I made. I tend to fall in this trap when I have had a successful week, which I did. Keep sparkin'

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VVKIMBO07 8/18/2009 12:16AM

    For me, Doritos are the problem. In the past, I could eat a bag of Doritos in one day...half for lunch and the other half for dinner....or snacks or whatever.

It's easier to resist if I just don't bring them home from the story, no matter how much they call to me!

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BUTTERED POPCORN

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Last night I was searching for comfort so I filled my Revere Ware stockpot half-full of air-popped popcorn. Usually I am satisfied with a bowl of popcorn seasoned with butter-flavored spray, but last night I just had to have butter on my popcorn. As I was eating it, I wondered if I was losing some of my resolve and regressing into old bad habits. I started to beat myself up with a few self-scolding thoughts, but I decided I wanted it bad enough to accept the consequences of the additional calories. I enjoyed it very much after I gave myself permission to have it.

When we were growing up, an old army kettle full of hot buttered popcorn was a welcome treat. We would sit together on the floor telling ghost stories and having fun just being together while munching on our popcorn. Since our home life was often tumultuous, my siblings and I developed a bond that is as strong as the one that holds soldiers together during combat. My sister must have been feeling that same bond-tug because she and her husband came to visit today. Usually I go to her house, but today she came to be with me. As we sat together on my deck swing, we had serious talk mixed with laughs and reminiscing. I cut up a huge salad loaded with good healthy things and we had a delicious lunch. It was a gathering of strength for the battle we are facing now.

Nothing but a kettle of buttered popcorn would do last night because nothing else could coax out those strong feelings I was longing to relive. I refuse to use the experience as ammunition to sabotage my healthy lifestyle progress. I was craving something in particular and decided to enjoy it; but I didn’t stop there. Instead, I asked myself what was really going on. I went on an inner journey and explored the emotions behind my desires. I learned a very valuable lesson: buttered popcorn is a very poor substitute for comforting companionship with someone you love.

Live and learn, then move on with the wisdom you have gained. Take care of you and your health today, Janet
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EARTHSEAME 8/16/2009 9:02PM

    I, too, have a deep and complex relationship with buttered popcorn! I've had to only allow microwave single servings in the house otherwise I'll binge on it every night.


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JANETK53 8/16/2009 8:49PM

  So it was buttered popcorn.....tomorrow it will be fruit salad and yogurt.....we need a day off beat and know that we can do better the next day that comes....this journey is long and hard, but we can do together...with friends and One Step At A Time. emoticon

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LADYIRISH317 8/16/2009 10:46AM

    There's nothing wrong with an OCCASIONAL high-calorie treat. And unlike some others, popcorn has a lot of fiber to help offset a little of the butter. I hope you enjoyed every kernel.

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GRANDMAZ23 8/16/2009 10:01AM

  Funny -- I was craving buttered popcorn last night too!
Anyway, good for you! Don't ever treat yourself badly -- you learn from mistakes and move on.

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RICH530 8/16/2009 9:39AM

    A great story and a great lesson learned!!! Good for you!!! Good luck on your continues success!!!!
emoticon Lee

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JAZZERCISEGENIE 8/16/2009 8:08AM

    wow great story and love how you let all of us enjoy your inner thought.

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GOING2LSEITNOW 8/16/2009 6:26AM

    You're blog brought back memories of our family eating popcorn while watching the old black and white scary movies that would come on only on the weekends. That is when both parents would have the time to really sit down with all of us. Thanks

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JUDYPOPPINS 8/16/2009 2:08AM

    Our journey is one of learning, isn't it? Thanks for sharing your insight. I keep forgetting at times, but I do know that there is no food in the world that comes close to being with those who are dear to you.
♥ .•*´¨ ) ..•*¨) -:¦:-
(. ;.•.♥ Leaving a♥.•*¨)
♥.•*¨-:¦:-. ;.•.♥ -:¦:-
♥ .•*´¨ ) .little trail of.•*¨) -:¦:-
♥.•*¨-:¦:-. ;.•.♥ -:¦:-
(. ;.•.♥ positive pixie dust on your blog♥.•*¨)
♥.•*¨-:¦:-. ;.•.♥ -:¦:-
-:¦:-
´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Judy ..'))-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*


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GIGIANDDAISY 8/16/2009 1:47AM

    Isn't it cool how something that we perceive to be so simple is in it's true essence much deeper in meaning?
I love this blog...I totally relate to it...
(and now I want some popcorn too...thanks a lot...lol!)

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GLORIA68 8/16/2009 12:04AM

    Thank you for this blog. I love it when friends share their feelings.


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YATMAMA 8/15/2009 11:36PM

    Isn't it wonderful when wandering around the corridors of our own hearts is an adventure and not a nightmare?!!

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MRSJARI 8/15/2009 11:20PM

    Thank you. When we would come home from school, sometimes my mother would have plates of popcorn set out for us. I loved it, and to this day I eat more popcorn than I should!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 8/15/2009 10:06PM

    You are growing. : )
Isn't awareness lovely?!?
Thank you for sharing!


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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 8/15/2009 9:38PM

    I'm so glad you learned what you needed to know. And so glad that you treated yourself gently so that you could make this progress. This journey is full of emotional side trips ... and well worth the time and effort.
Cathy emoticon

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JULSISGOOD 8/15/2009 9:36PM

    Thank you for sharing this. I think part of this journey is listening to our bodies and emotions and making the best choice we can in the moment, which leaves no room for the guilt or beating ourselves up over it. I'm so glad you have such a strong and supportive relationship with your sister.
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--Juls

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2GSMOM 8/15/2009 9:31PM

    This was just what I needed to read tonight. Whenever I have a slip, even if it's planned such as attending a birthday party of a loved one and having a piece of cake, I feel like I've failed for the day. Your blog was great. And I agree, the love and friendship of companions can be substituted by any food treat.

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ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR A COURTESY TROLLEY AS YOU TRAVEL THE CORRIDORS OF LIFE?

Friday, August 14, 2009



What was supposed to be a biopsy taken in the doctor’s office yesterday turned into a trip to the hospital last night when my sister had to have an emergency D & C. After I parked my car, I entered the long corridor connecting the parking deck to the hospital. Usually I just wait for the courtesy trolley, but for some reason last night I decided to travel on foot. The walk itself did me good. I was huffing a little, but I made it and was breathing a little deeper for my efforts. I guess I needed the time to think.

My sister may have the “C” word. You know: cancer. Some doctors won’t use that negatively charged word, but my sister’s doctor was not that way. She said that cancer could not be ruled out until the biopsy comes back and then the direction of treatment would be decided. Some may not have wanted to hear that much honesty, but my sister and I are realists. We want to be aware of upcoming possibilities so we have some time to build the courage necessary to face whatever may materialize. Our mom and I both faced this all too familiar foe. My tumor was benign and I lived but our mom lost her battle at the age of 42. Questions filled my mind again as I walked that corridor back to my car. “Why another family member?” “Why now when my sister has only had eleven months to enjoy her only grandchild?”

Courtesy rides are usually not available in life. We must walk down the corridors set before us. We must pass through the events that occur; then IF we choose to do the necessary mental work, we can reflect on our experiences and hopefully learn some lessons we can use to make wiser decisions in the future. Rebellion against reality is an option, but the consequences are not usually in one’s best interests. If we accept the truth, follow through on the best available course of action and allow others to encourage and support us along the way, we will fare better.

There is no easy way to achieve and maintain our health. A courtesy trolley does not exist. It is going to take effort! It requires walking the walk with the support and expertise of others. The corridor will lead us where we need to go. I offer my support to you as we travel the corridor to health together.

Take care of yourself and your health. Hugs from Janet

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZERCISEGENIE 8/15/2009 9:07AM

    My sister has cancer also. At first we could not beleive it then reality sets in. She has breast, liver and lung cancer. many other problms have cropped up she is now back in hospital. I pray everywhere at all times, places I am doubting God. You are not listening but then maybe he is and I don't like the answer.

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CHANA-D 8/15/2009 9:06AM

    Your sister is lucky to have you by her side to walk with her through this trying time. I was with thinking about what you said about wanting to take the courtesy tram through life- and sometimes it seems like that would be the easiest way to travel from point "A" to point "B" - but often the easiest way to go may not give you the strength and pride in yourself of getting there on your own two feet. And hopefully that strength and perseverance you get - will help carry you through the rough patches in your life

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MIAJOEB 8/15/2009 2:07AM

    Yes, i want it to be easier, happier, better. I want my way all the time.
I just want life to be joyful. I want to change my life.
I want the trolley to take me. But it does not go where I have to travel.
I am sorry for all the trials sent to you.
Keep walking into the directions of your dreams.
Maria

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RENA1965 8/15/2009 12:00AM

    Sorry to hear about your sister, some cancers are inherited.. Breast cancer is one of them, I have just talked to one woman with so high risks in her family she was admitted to have both her breast removed as was in the age arrange the rest of the women in her family got taken from her (five other women)..


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GOSPELCLOWN 8/14/2009 11:54PM

    Your sister is so fortunate to have you in her corner. Let's pray that her tests come back with GOOD NEWS!

Thanks for blogging.... Karen

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YATMAMA 8/14/2009 9:36PM

    I loved the line about no courtesy rides. That is SO true. Your sister is in my prayers.

Missy

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COFFEYBEAN 8/14/2009 7:29PM

    I'll keep you and your sister in my prayers, like they said, Cancer isn't always a death sentence. I've been thru it, like you have, and I'm still here to say I Love Life...Praying that you and your sister will be able to do the same.

emoticon

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LESSOFME113 8/14/2009 7:04PM

    I'm sincerely sorry & will hold your sister in the light, and hope that the results are not as dire as you fear! Much strength is being held for you......by me and by many others!

Namaste,
AshleyR>

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MARTHAR3 8/14/2009 6:24PM

    I know what you mean about walking the halls. It was something I did when my mom was in the hospital. It was hard to do I was a trolly kind of person. Yes it wore me out. But ti strengthened me too. My mom lost here battle with Cancer June 08.

I pray that all goes well and it is a treatment that will be easy. Glad that you are both realistic. I think it makes it a little easier to cope with that way.

My heart and prayers go you & family..

Huggies Martha n TX

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JULSISGOOD 8/14/2009 6:01PM

    I am so sorry you and your sister are going through this - it must be especially hard after your mom. I think it's great your sister has a doctor who is honest. I can really relate to the analogy you use here of needing to do the walking. I love the line in your blog: "Rebellion against reality is an option, but the consequences are not usually in one’s best interests." That could be a daily quote!
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--Juls

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MINDYJ1 8/14/2009 4:14PM

    Praying for your sister' s complete healing in Jesus' name! emoticon

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RICH530 8/14/2009 3:33PM

    I will be keeping both you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers!!! Family is so important at times like these. How good thatyou were there for her!!! Stay positive!!
emoticon Lee

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SAM60SUMTHINK 8/14/2009 3:23PM

    Janet, what I saw immediately in this immediately was that you were THERE for your sister! You are both in my prayers. It's hard, but you can be with her and in this is a great blessing. ((hugs))
/Sam




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JANRTEACH 8/14/2009 1:32PM

    Hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))
))))))))))))))

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BIKERBABE2BE 8/14/2009 1:26PM

    Sending positive thoughts to you and your sister. You really hit the nail on the head with this blog. Thanks for sharing and I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Keep us posted.

Kim

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THALIAY 8/14/2009 12:38PM

  Keep your hopes high!!! I had an emergency hysterectomy years ago & it was discovered that I had cancer of the cervix. Cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence.

Actually, about that courtesy trolley----I'm holding out for a courtesy limo myself! emoticon

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 8/14/2009 12:36PM

    Adding prayers for your sister. Thanks for the analogy. Very appropriate.

Blessings, my friend,
Cathy emoticon

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JUDYPOPPINS 8/14/2009 12:18PM

    Your sister and your family are in my prayers and thoughts for a positive outcome from the biopsy. Despite the difficult place you find yourself right now, you have been very insightful about life. Difficulties shared are lightened as our joys shared exponentially increased. I pray you'll have lots of joys to share with us soon.

-:¦:-
´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Judy ..'))-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*


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BOVEY63 8/14/2009 12:08PM

    Sending prayers and hugs your way.
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PINKCOCONUT 8/14/2009 11:59AM

    emoticon

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