Saturday, August 15, 2009
Last night I was searching for comfort so I filled my Revere Ware stockpot half-full of air-popped popcorn. Usually I am satisfied with a bowl of popcorn seasoned with butter-flavored spray, but last night I just had to have butter on my popcorn. As I was eating it, I wondered if I was losing some of my resolve and regressing into old bad habits. I started to beat myself up with a few self-scolding thoughts, but I decided I wanted it bad enough to accept the consequences of the additional calories. I enjoyed it very much after I gave myself permission to have it.
When we were growing up, an old army kettle full of hot buttered popcorn was a welcome treat. We would sit together on the floor telling ghost stories and having fun just being together while munching on our popcorn. Since our home life was often tumultuous, my siblings and I developed a bond that is as strong as the one that holds soldiers together during combat. My sister must have been feeling that same bond-tug because she and her husband came to visit today. Usually I go to her house, but today she came to be with me. As we sat together on my deck swing, we had serious talk mixed with laughs and reminiscing. I cut up a huge salad loaded with good healthy things and we had a delicious lunch. It was a gathering of strength for the battle we are facing now.
Nothing but a kettle of buttered popcorn would do last night because nothing else could coax out those strong feelings I was longing to relive. I refuse to use the experience as ammunition to sabotage my healthy lifestyle progress. I was craving something in particular and decided to enjoy it; but I didn’t stop there. Instead, I asked myself what was really going on. I went on an inner journey and explored the emotions behind my desires. I learned a very valuable lesson: buttered popcorn is a very poor substitute for comforting companionship with someone you love.
Live and learn, then move on with the wisdom you have gained. Take care of you and your health today, Janet