Saturday, August 22, 2009
I don’t know when or why I started believing that being me was bad. God created me to participate in life and contribute my unique talents for the benefit of all. Being me is wonderful! Now all I have to do is convince myself that it is true.
What needs convincing in you?
Take care of you and your health, Janet
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Last night I was searching for comfort so I filled my Revere Ware stockpot half-full of air-popped popcorn. Usually I am satisfied with a bowl of popcorn seasoned with butter-flavored spray, but last night I just had to have butter on my popcorn. As I was eating it, I wondered if I was losing some of my resolve and regressing into old bad habits. I started to beat myself up with a few self-scolding thoughts, but I decided I wanted it bad enough to accept the consequences of the additional calories. I enjoyed it very much after I gave myself permission to have it.
When we were growing up, an old army kettle full of hot buttered popcorn was a welcome treat. We would sit together on the floor telling ghost stories and having fun just being together while munching on our popcorn. Since our home life was often tumultuous, my siblings and I developed a bond that is as strong as the one that holds soldiers together during combat. My sister must have been feeling that same bond-tug because she and her husband came to visit today. Usually I go to her house, but today she came to be with me. As we sat together on my deck swing, we had serious talk mixed with laughs and reminiscing. I cut up a huge salad loaded with good healthy things and we had a delicious lunch. It was a gathering of strength for the battle we are facing now.
Nothing but a kettle of buttered popcorn would do last night because nothing else could coax out those strong feelings I was longing to relive. I refuse to use the experience as ammunition to sabotage my healthy lifestyle progress. I was craving something in particular and decided to enjoy it; but I didn’t stop there. Instead, I asked myself what was really going on. I went on an inner journey and explored the emotions behind my desires. I learned a very valuable lesson: buttered popcorn is a very poor substitute for comforting companionship with someone you love.
Live and learn, then move on with the wisdom you have gained. Take care of you and your health today, Janet
Friday, August 14, 2009
What was supposed to be a biopsy taken in the doctor’s office yesterday turned into a trip to the hospital last night when my sister had to have an emergency D & C. After I parked my car, I entered the long corridor connecting the parking deck to the hospital. Usually I just wait for the courtesy trolley, but for some reason last night I decided to travel on foot. The walk itself did me good. I was huffing a little, but I made it and was breathing a little deeper for my efforts. I guess I needed the time to think.
My sister may have the “C” word. You know: cancer. Some doctors won’t use that negatively charged word, but my sister’s doctor was not that way. She said that cancer could not be ruled out until the biopsy comes back and then the direction of treatment would be decided. Some may not have wanted to hear that much honesty, but my sister and I are realists. We want to be aware of upcoming possibilities so we have some time to build the courage necessary to face whatever may materialize. Our mom and I both faced this all too familiar foe. My tumor was benign and I lived but our mom lost her battle at the age of 42. Questions filled my mind again as I walked that corridor back to my car. “Why another family member?” “Why now when my sister has only had eleven months to enjoy her only grandchild?”
Courtesy rides are usually not available in life. We must walk down the corridors set before us. We must pass through the events that occur; then IF we choose to do the necessary mental work, we can reflect on our experiences and hopefully learn some lessons we can use to make wiser decisions in the future. Rebellion against reality is an option, but the consequences are not usually in one’s best interests. If we accept the truth, follow through on the best available course of action and allow others to encourage and support us along the way, we will fare better.
There is no easy way to achieve and maintain our health. A courtesy trolley does not exist. It is going to take effort! It requires walking the walk with the support and expertise of others. The corridor will lead us where we need to go. I offer my support to you as we travel the corridor to health together.
Take care of yourself and your health. Hugs from Janet
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