Friday, August 13, 2010
Today I am wearing tiny clothes! I am wearing a shirt that I originally bought back in the summer of 2001 when I weighed 165 pounds! And I'm wearing pants that I bought in November of 2006 (Black Friday shopping), but never wore a single time, because they were too small when I bought them and I'd only gotten bigger since then.
There's kind of a story behind both articles of clothing. First the shirt. Back in the summer of 2001, I was coming to the end of a VERY long-term relationship. I was having sort of an identity crisis. My life had been defined by my relationship for so long that I never really had a sense of "me". During the spring and summer of 2001 I lost a lot of weight. Probably 25-30 pounds. I don't know what my start weight was, but I know that my low weight by August was 165. That's the thinnest I've been in my adult life. During this whole attempt to reinvent myself, I did sort of a makeover with my sister. We went out and got my hair cut, I got cute new glasses (same style I still wear now, instead of giant wire frames), and I bought a bunch of new "stylish" clothes. This shirt I'm wearing today was one of the shirts I bought back then. It's just a little lavendar button-down with 3/4 sleeves and a little bit of curve to it, so it's a pretty timeless style. I can't believe that I can fit into it right now at over 200 pounds.
The pants. I bought these pants the day after Thanksgiving in 2006. It was my first Thanksgiving with Dan's family. We went to visit his grandparents in Reading, PA, which has an outlet mall. We went to the outlet mall with Dan's mom and I tried on some clothes. I tried on these pant which are an 18 (but a REALLY small 18) and I was too embarrassed to have his mom know that an 18 was too small on me, so I bought them. How sad is that?!?! I hung onto them, hoping that I'd lose weight eventually and be able to fit into them. And here I am, nearly 4 years later, wearing them for the very first time.
They really are a SMALL 18 though! I first fit into size 16 jeans over 10 pounds ago and these things are still kind of tight on me in the waist. What the heck?!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I love statistics. I'm a sucker for trivia. So, I've decided to put together some fun facts about my Spark journey so far. You might not find them as interesting, but this blog is mostly for me!
- On average, I have lost 1.816 pounds per week.
- My biggest loss was the week of 3/2-3/8 when I was deathly ill and lost 7.4 pounds.
- My biggest non-sick loss was my first week on SparkPeople when I lost 4.5 pounds.
- My next biggest loss after that was the week of 3/30-4/5 when I lost 3.6 pounds. That was also the week I hit my 40 pound loss mark.
- I have only gained weight one week. The week of 4/13-4/19 I gained one pound.
The day before that weigh-in I had 3,605mg of sodium.
- Losing my first 10 pounds took 4 weeks.
- Losing my second 10 pounds (20 pounds total) took 6 weeks.
- Losing my third 10 pounds (30 pounds total) took 5 weeks.
- Losing my fourth 10 pounds (40 pounds total) took 4 weeks.
- Losing my fifth 10 pounds (50 pounds total) took EIGHT weeks!
- Losing my sixth 10 pounds (60 pounds total) took 7 weeks.
- Losing my seventh 10 pounds (70 pounds total) will take 5 weeks, I hope!
- I have tracked every single bite I've eaten every single day since Nov. 23, EXCEPT for my birthday, March 28.
- I have logged 16,980 fitness minutes. That's 283 hours. That's nearly 12 DAYS.
- The most calories I've burned in a single month was 20, 706 in January.
- The fewest calories I've burned in a single month was 3,874 in April.
- The most calories I've eaten in a single month was 55,156 in June.
- The fewest calories I've eaten in a single month was 46,603 in December.
- I've made 162 blog posts, including this one.
- This is my 262nd day on SparkPeople.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I had a dream this morning that my sister-in-law, Becky, was still alive. Her death this past November is what inspired me to begin my weightloss journey. When times are at their toughest, it is still thoughts of her that keep me pushing through.
In this morning's dream, she was still alive, but I was still on my Spark journey. My weightloss was inspiring HER to lose weight and she was asking me all sorts of questions about the SparkPeople site and the tools and methods I'd used to lose nearly 70 pounds.
When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I briefly had the nagging thought that if only I had started this journey sooner, maybe I could have inspired her to change her lifestyle and she would still be alive today. I realized quickly that sort of thinking would get me nowhere fast, but I do still think there is a lesson to be learned from my dream.
If you have people in your own life who are morbidly obese, do your best to inspire them and spread the Spark to their lives. Don't pressure them, but if they express any interest in your weight loss, encourage them that they could do the same. Take the time to answer all of their questions, show them around the site, explain all the tools and social support. Be patient with them and do everything you can to save them.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Today I ran a mile on the treadmill. I've been doing that a lot in recent months, but today was the first time I ran a mile straight without walking!!!! I am so proud of myself! I called Dan downstairs so I could tell him right away and I started to cry as I the words came out of my mouth. Once I was done with the rest of my workout I even called my parents to tell them. Who knew doing something as "simple" as running a mile could make me so happy and accomplished?
I didn't even set out to run a mile straight. I've been working on C25K week 5 and the workout I've been doing is run 5 minutes/walk 3 minutes. Well, I was getting close to the end of my first 5 minute run and I thought to myself "you know, I think I can go longer." Then I was at 7 minutes and beyond and I thought, "I wonder if I can do a full mile!" The last couple of minutes were pretty tough. My heart rate was up to 180. But, I didn't want to get THAT close and give up, so I pushed myself and finished it out!
Thursday, August 05, 2010
When I first began my Spark Journey, I weighed 270 pounds. I started exploring the Spark site, success stories, teams, blogs, etc. I came across people a LOT smaller than me struggling to lose weight and I would think things like "you have it so easy, you only need to lose 20 pounds." Or I'd see people who had lost 100+ and think to myself, "well it must just be easier for them."
Now I have lost nearly 70 pounds and I am almost to Onederland, I can't help but think there are some people in my life who think the same things about me as I once thought about others. "If you've been able to lose 70 pounds in under 9 months, it must be easy for you." Or "you only weigh 200 pounds, you don't know what it's like to be pushing 300." I feel like I have to be careful about who I complain to and what I complain about when I'm feeling overwhelmed that I still have 45-50 pounds to lose or when I'm unhappy with the way I look and how "fat" I still feel. I'm afraid that people will secretly be thinking to themselves that I have no right to complain. And the reason I worry that others might be thinking those things is because I had those exact same thoughts about other people 9 months ago!
So, here is what I have to say to my past self and anyone who thinks I now have it easy: there is absolutely nothing "easy" about what I have been through over the past 9 months. I didn't just decide I wanted to lose weight and then just have it magically fall off of me. I worked every single day. I struggled with every single food choice. I argued with myself every single day about whether or not to do my cardio and/or my strength training. Do you think it's easy for me to pass on the cake and donuts my coworkers bring in? Do you think it's easy for me to sit through an entire party with a giant bowl of cheese puffs in front of me and not eat a single one? Well it's not! It's HARD! It takes 100% effort and shear mental fortitude to have that kind of discipline.
Also, I'm NOT perfect, despite what you may think. Sometimes I cave in to that nagging voice in my head (or my stomach) and I eat an entire pizza or a big juicy burger with fries. But you know what? I suck it up and move on. I don't cry about it. I don't beat myself up about it. What's in the past is passed and we can't change it. All we can do is move forward and focus on the things we can still change. I don't use my failures as an excuse to fail some more.
People often ask me now "how did you do it?" As if I got bitten by a radioactive spider and just suddenly acquired some super power to lose weight. Why ask a question like that when the answer is so obvious? I've eaten less and exercised a lot more. That's my super secret, magic solution! I didn't just decide to lose weight. I didn't just talk about it with my friends and say things like "oh, I really shouldn't be eating this, I'm so bad." I didn't put together a fitness plan, do it for one day, and give up. I actually ate less and exercised a lot more. That's the only way to actually lose weight. You have to actually DO it.
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