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JAMIEBETHIE's Recent Blog Entries


Thursday, January 24, 2008

So today I was on Spark and read and article on plateaus...and it was basically more of the same, but they also said to revise your exercise schedule if you are working out more or less than you used to.

Well I had never changed it from Mon/Wed/Fri (35 minutes a day) because I didn't want to put so much pressure on myself! I figured any extra cardio I did was just a bonus! In actuality though, I'm working out 5-6 days a week doing 35 minutes of intense cardio (HARDCORE on the elliptical) which according to YMCA's calculations is burning approximately 400 calories SOOOOOOOOooooooooo, I Went in and updated my info on there up to 5 days a week and then went back to my nutrition tracker.

The result? I was eating WAY too little for my activity level. I went from a caloric range of 1250 low/1550 high to 1660 low/2010 high!! No wonder!! I've been fighting this dang scale ever since I went on my "5 days a week minimum" kick!!

Double check that yall are eating enough!!


Personal blog

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Below is one of my personal blogs that I wrote at the close of 2007. I generally don't share those, but today I was thinking that it might be helpful to someone on spark. Especially for folks with 08' resolutions...reading something from someone who made the 07' resolution.

So hereís the end of 2007. According to my original weight loss goals, right now I should be 180 pounds and be ready to enjoy my upcoming Disney World vacation at least 5 sizes smaller. Right now I should be thinking, ďI did it. I FINALLY did it.Ē But I suppose itís of no surprise to anyone that Iím not. I suppose Iím the same old overweight Beth theyíve known all of their lives. The same one whoís battled weight all her life, and the same one whoís failed time and time again at her attempts to control it.

But this year was not a waste. This is the first year in my entire life I havenít given up. All year, I stuck to my commitment to better health. Even when I had the ultimate and legitimate excuse to give up (a broken leg), I didnít throw the towel in. I didnít give up on myself.

As a result I am healthier. In fact, my cardio abilities havenít been this good since I was a 15!! I can do 40 minutes on the elliptical and at a relatively high level (I fluctuate between 10-15 trying to keep heart rate ranging from 140-170). I canít go very fast on the treadmill because I need to minimize impact as my bone is still healing, but I can do one hell of an uphill hike! In fact Iíve maxed out the incline!

And Iím stronger compliments of weight training. Even when I broke my leg, I still hobbled down to the weight areas and worked my upper body. And get this folks...I can do pushups. And Iím talking about the proper pushups, not the girlie ones. I have NEVER been able to do a pushup before in my life...EVER! And you gotta remember Iím pushing up approximately 250 pounds of woman!

And probably the most shocking, Iíve actually begun to enjoy soy products. I never thought Iíd see the day, but itís true. When I make one of my loaded boca burgers, for a few seconds I almost believe Iím eating a whopper..and itís heavenly. I thought Iíd said goodbye to sausage and egg McMuffins forever, but alas, now I have Sausage and Egg MeMuffins made with soy sausage patties. Absolutely delicious!!

Most importantly, Iíve come to kinda like myself . I mean look above...I just said 3 positive things about myself. That wouldnít have happened a year ago. And itís not because I lost massive pounds...itís because Iíve learned to respect what this journey is teaching me about myself. Maybe for some people their weight is merely the result of eating too much/moving too little...maybe those are the folks that seem to drop the weight effortlessly, I donít know. I only know my journey, and my weight issues are complex and multi-faceted. Food was both a treatment for a painful past and a self punishment. It was also a nifty gag that stopped me from expressing how I was truly feeling. And if I was ever going to drop the weight, I needed to give myself the opportunity to process this...to almost go back to each experience and make a different choice...the right choice. And while this might sound like a unsurmountable task (or like an overly dramatic chick just rambling on), the doing is easy. Itís summoning the courage to decide to do it thatís difficult. But once itís done....just wow. Iíve found myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANOWEN 1/10/2008 12:29PM

    That's a very positive blog entry! No matter whether you made your goals or not, it's still a huge achievement and you should be very proud. I still can't do a pushup (grumble, grumble). And I know what it's like to miss a self-imposed deadline also. I gave myself 10 months to lose 85 pounds, and my reward was a trip to Six Flags, California. I missed it by 9 days. Instead of setting a deadline, why not just make the reward happen at the end of the goal? Good luck! XOXO - Liz

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What do I look like

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

For people battling eating disorders, it's often stated that these individuals look in the mirror and see nothing but fat. Their frame can be frail and skeletal, but the disease relays a different message. The disease sees a fat person. I've often heard people say, "How can they possibly think they're fat?! Look at them!!" They can't understand how an individual could look at that body and see fat. But it's not so much the interpretation of the image, as it is the image itself. The eye is actually seeing a different image than that of a person who is not inflicted with the disease.
Although I'm not anorexic, I understand this phenomena. You see, I don't really know what I look like. In the same day, I see at least 4 different versions of me, often more. Usually I walk out the door thinking I look presentable...sometimes out and out hot. I feel confident, empowered and proud of who I am and how I look. An hour or two later I catch a glipse in a mirror, and it's then that I realise that I have morphed into a tired, drawn, fat woman.
I've looked towards pictures to answer the question, "What do I REALLY look like." but those only support the idea that I actually DO have superhuman capabilities. In fact, I can look at a stack of photos and actually see the morph in it's many different stages.
So, I'm left to rely on others to answer the question for me. What do I REALLY look like? Well, we can throw my husband's answer out the window right away. He's not willing to live with the repercussions of an ill-timed answer, regardless of how truthful it may be. There is my very close friend, my mother....but from the size of the underwear she buys me (think bedsheets) it's quite apparent she's inflicted with the same disease (hmmm, must be genetic). So I'm left wondering, will I ever really know what I look like.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCRICK 5/12/2007 11:18AM

    When I added you as a friend because of your great sense of humor I didn't realize you look in the mirror the same way I do. I am a recovering bulimic, must have beat it since I'm now overweight :) I still am so unsure of my true self but I do think photos help. I can see more of me in a photo than I can see in a mirror, especially my face. I just had a photo taken w/ my fellow teachers and was so pleased to see my face looking thinner and more attractive! Try a digital in your undies to get a true glimpse!

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LISAROUSSEAU 4/10/2007 3:26PM

    You know, I was thinking the same thing today. It is good to know I am not alone. Some days I am proud of myself for the weight I have lost already, and in the same day I can look in the mirror and not see that the first 50 is already gone. Thanks for posting this, you said it all better than I could have and at least I know I am not the only one! We will make it to our goals, let's just work on getting our minds there too!!!

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SARAH_A 4/10/2007 3:00PM

    Having been on both ends of this argument (bulimic, and now overweight again) I know exactly how you feel. Just keep positive! Remember that the hot girl you see in the mirror is the person you really are, inside and out. The tired woman you see in the mirror is a trick from a tired mind, and your mother should never buy you underpants! :)

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ZESTYLADY 4/10/2007 2:34PM

    You decribed so well what I often feel. Thanks,

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