Just Don't Understand

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Well, here I am to do my weekly Sunday biog. I usually do it in the morning after I weigh myself and for the 3 weeks prior I've had good news. The scale was moving in the right direction-it was going down. Now, I did state earlier in the week that I started back with poor eating habits. I tried everyday to get back on track but nothing worked. I wasn't pigging out massively or anything like that, but I wasn't making the best choices and I was eating more than I should. So, I was expecting a weight gain. Maybe 3 or 4 lbs tops. I wasn't happy about getting on the scale but I was prepared to face the consequences. I got on the scale this morning and to my HORROR I GAINED BACK 8 LBS!! I don't get it. That's alot of weight to gain in 1 week. Like I said I was expecting some sort of weight gain. I knew I screwed up. But 8 lbs, c'mon??? Well, my next step is to pick myself up and continue on. Hopefully, in the right direction!!! It's too important this time. It has to work and there is no giving up. I know it's expensive, but I started with Nutri System today. I placed my first order and I'm gonna give it a try. I'm desperate. The program does get alittle cheaper after the 1st 3 weeks. So, I figured I'll try it for a few weeks and see if maybe I can stick with it throughout my weightloss journey or it will be enough to give me a jumpstart and I can go back to doing my own thing. We will see. I just know something out there has to work. It just has to. I will not dwell on mistakes I have mad but learn from them. And, the knowledge I gain from this will lead the way throughout my journey. I will pick up the pieces and move forward and the outcome will be a beautiful new me.


Jackie

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What The Hell??!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I don't know why but I just can't seem to get it together the past 2-3 days. My old eating habits pretty much just came blowing back in like a hurricane. I know for a fact that there will be a weight gain of some sort this week. I was doing good and then all of a sudden I'm not eating like I was while I was losing weight. I'm mad at myself. I'm upset depressed disgusted. I feel like here we go again. Setting myself up for failure I guess. But, I HAVE TO get back on track. I just hope it's not too late. I've lost 12 lbs so far and now it's being sabotoged. I can't take it. At least, I'm still not drinking soda. I wanna cry. I wanna scream.

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Today's Weigh In

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Well, got up this morning. Walked the dog & put my 2 yr old son's sheets in the wash. Then got on the scale. The scale went down. Yippee!!! It went down 2 lbs and I'm happy with it. Really, I am. But, it's funny how our minds work. The past 2 weeks I lost 5 lbs each week. So, of course, I get into this mindframe that I'm Wonder Woman and I'm gonna keep moving right along losing 5 lbs every week. Wow! Great! But, not reality. So, at first I'm like Oh sh-- I only lost 2 lbs. Not sure why since I've been doing everything fine even incorporated exercise. Which, that in itself is an accomplishment. I quickly snapped back into reality and just told myself it's not how quick it comes off. It's just as long as it does come off. So, you know what? I'm happy with a 2 lb loss. I'm happy the scale went down and not up or stayed the same. I've lost 12 lbs since January 3. Not too shabby. I just want to get healthy and be around for my kids as long as possible. I want to wear nice clothes and not get disgusted at what I see in the mirror. I'm a real good mom, good friend, love my kids, family, & friends. I'm taking control finally of my eating and health and I'm working on making a better me by getting healthy, exercising, & losing weight. I guess all that does make me Wonder Woman!! Have a great week everyone!!

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Another 5lbs

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Wow!! I don't what is so different this time. But, whatever it is, it's working. Maybe, I just REALLY want it this time and I have come to realize there is no turning back and that I just can't no matter what let myself continue on getting heavier and being unhealthy. Heading straight to an early grave, who wants that?? Not me and I'm sure none of you do. I don't want to leave my kids without a mother, my youngest will be 3 in May. I have a very good relationship with all 3 of my kids.
Anyway, I got on the scale this morning and another 5 lbs came off for a grand total so far of 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I don't feel like I'm starving myself even though I did cut back on portion size. I make sure I snack now, but healthy snacks so my body doesnt't go into "starvation" mode and maybe at the same time it's boosting my metabolism.
But, I'm so ecstatic that I've lost 10 lbs already. It really is an incentive. I decided the other day that every 10 lbs or so I will reward myself with not food, but new clothes. Whether it's something I will fit in at the moment or have to lose more weight to get into. My bf just paid for my 1st new outfit(and yes, jeans are included in that). It turned out to be a nice surprise since I was planning on paying for it myself. I don't want to reward my successes with food. Besides, if I'm eating right and watching portions I could be having a "treat" once in awhile to begin with.
It took me along time to realize, many years, that this isn't a diet. It's a way of life~a life change. I actually can't stand when people call it a diet. I think the word diet actually sabotages me. I don't know if anyone else feels the same. It's just my mentality from many years ago, going way back. I hear "diet" and I automatically think starvation, restriction, boring.
It's ok to make changes and sometimes we have to make changes to fix what hasn't been working. Don't be afraid to make changes. Ones that will better you as a person. I still have a long way to go to get to my goal. I'm very happy I'm 10 lbs closer. It's not going to happen overnight and I have to remember that. Sometimes, that is my downfall. I get depressed because I would like it to go quicker. I have to keep telling myself it didn't happen overnight. Even though sometimes it feels like it does. It's not gonna come off that quick either. That would be unhealthy and unrealistic.
Thanks for allowing me to blog and for taking the time to read this. This is somewhat rewarding and therapeutic for me on Sundays after I weigh myself. I enjoy blogging. Sorry, if this long. I've been known to ramble.
I'm so glad I joined SP and have made good friends here. If we take this one day at a time~one meal at a time I know we can reach our goals together. Remember, no obstacle is too hard to stop us from reaching our dreams. Our dreams are never out of reach if we keep the goal in sight and always remember WE ARE WORTH IT!!

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Ist Week Weigh-In

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Well, I was up bright & early this morning since my 2 year woke up around 4 am and decided he didn't want to go back to sleep. So, now we have been on a marathon of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Just before 7 am I took out dog out for a walk and boy was it cold out. But, all I can think about was going to weigh myself. Even though I started just eating right and making changes on the 1st of this year, I didn't weigh myself until Sunday January 3. So, Sundays are my official weigh in day.
My boyfriend is the property manager at an apartment complex for seniors so we have to live on the property. We have our own separate house right next to the community room where he is office is and the nurse's station, which is where the doctor scale is. It's convenient but just enough where I'm not on the scale constantly as if it were in my place,
Anyway, now that I filled everyone in. I will now tell about my 1st week weigh in. I got on the scale this morning and I'm down 5 lbs in my 1st week.
Woo-hoo!!

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