Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wow!! I don't what is so different this time. But, whatever it is, it's working. Maybe, I just REALLY want it this time and I have come to realize there is no turning back and that I just can't no matter what let myself continue on getting heavier and being unhealthy. Heading straight to an early grave, who wants that?? Not me and I'm sure none of you do. I don't want to leave my kids without a mother, my youngest will be 3 in May. I have a very good relationship with all 3 of my kids.
Anyway, I got on the scale this morning and another 5 lbs came off for a grand total so far of 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I don't feel like I'm starving myself even though I did cut back on portion size. I make sure I snack now, but healthy snacks so my body doesnt't go into "starvation" mode and maybe at the same time it's boosting my metabolism.
But, I'm so ecstatic that I've lost 10 lbs already. It really is an incentive. I decided the other day that every 10 lbs or so I will reward myself with not food, but new clothes. Whether it's something I will fit in at the moment or have to lose more weight to get into. My bf just paid for my 1st new outfit(and yes, jeans are included in that). It turned out to be a nice surprise since I was planning on paying for it myself. I don't want to reward my successes with food. Besides, if I'm eating right and watching portions I could be having a "treat" once in awhile to begin with.
It took me along time to realize, many years, that this isn't a diet. It's a way of life~a life change. I actually can't stand when people call it a diet. I think the word diet actually sabotages me. I don't know if anyone else feels the same. It's just my mentality from many years ago, going way back. I hear "diet" and I automatically think starvation, restriction, boring.
It's ok to make changes and sometimes we have to make changes to fix what hasn't been working. Don't be afraid to make changes. Ones that will better you as a person. I still have a long way to go to get to my goal. I'm very happy I'm 10 lbs closer. It's not going to happen overnight and I have to remember that. Sometimes, that is my downfall. I get depressed because I would like it to go quicker. I have to keep telling myself it didn't happen overnight. Even though sometimes it feels like it does. It's not gonna come off that quick either. That would be unhealthy and unrealistic.
Thanks for allowing me to blog and for taking the time to read this. This is somewhat rewarding and therapeutic for me on Sundays after I weigh myself. I enjoy blogging. Sorry, if this long. I've been known to ramble.
I'm so glad I joined SP and have made good friends here. If we take this one day at a time~one meal at a time I know we can reach our goals together. Remember, no obstacle is too hard to stop us from reaching our dreams. Our dreams are never out of reach if we keep the goal in sight and always remember WE ARE WORTH IT!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Well, I was up bright & early this morning since my 2 year woke up around 4 am and decided he didn't want to go back to sleep. So, now we have been on a marathon of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Just before 7 am I took out dog out for a walk and boy was it cold out. But, all I can think about was going to weigh myself. Even though I started just eating right and making changes on the 1st of this year, I didn't weigh myself until Sunday January 3. So, Sundays are my official weigh in day.
My boyfriend is the property manager at an apartment complex for seniors so we have to live on the property. We have our own separate house right next to the community room where he is office is and the nurse's station, which is where the doctor scale is. It's convenient but just enough where I'm not on the scale constantly as if it were in my place,
Anyway, now that I filled everyone in. I will now tell about my 1st week weigh in. I got on the scale this morning and I'm down 5 lbs in my 1st week.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Like many others here at SP I have been battling my weight loss for a very long time, pretty much my whole life. When I joined SP in 2008 I was attending WW and I was at my all time high (back then) of 278 lbs. I lost some weight maybe around 25 lbs then I stopped going. When it starts to turn into a financial reason why I can't attend anymore I start talking myself out of it. Talking negative to myself and sabatoging myself. So of course on and off like always I try to lose weight. Just before the 1st of this year I got in the mind frame of just doing it and making this my time to do this. So, I came back recently on SP and changed some of my groups and got some more friends/buddies. I have been doing good and watching portion control and doing well with things, I can feel it. I have to start the exercise. But, that will come, even if alittle at a time. I haven't been feeling well and with the added weight it has taken a toll on my body physically. Wow! I don't think I've ever admitted my aches & pains & whatever is from being overweight. I haven't been on a scale since I left WW. Since I'm starting over again with losing weight and making this my time to be the person I know I can be I got on the scale this morning so I would, of course, know what my starting weight is. And, ohhhhhhhhh BOY!!! I was more than when I started WW in 2008. Which I kinda knew I would be. I was prepared to be. But, no matter how much you prepare yourself before getting on that scale it still comes as a shock. I've been feeling it in my clothes and feeling like no matter what I do the weight is just pouring on.Like, my metabolism came to a halt. My weight is 295 lbs. Officially my highest EVER!! So,yes it depressed me. I just don't want this to effect me in the wrong way. I don't want to get discouraged over this. Even more now than ever I know I gotta do something!! So, if I keep this frame of mind and with the encouragement of my friends, family, & my SP friends I will do this. I understand this will not happen over night and this is a long journey in which I must watch for detours and obstacles and stay prepared. Not beat myself up if at one meal I ate too much. Just continue on at the next meal. Take it one meal at a time. I want to wish everyone here much success in the journeys I'm grateful for my friends here and the support. Hopefully, we can reach the stars together.
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