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When Does A 140 lb Weight Loss Become Depressing??

Sunday, December 02, 2012

A weird question, I know. But, exactly when does such a weight loss become depressing? When it's no longer that weight loss. It took me about 13 months to lose 140 lbs and just a few months to gain about 45 lbs back. I can't seem to get back on track no matter what I do. It's extremely depressing. Everyday starts off with good intentions and as the day goes on, well forget about it. I think the change in my work schedule and transportation home is affecting me to a point. My bf used to pick me up from work and I'd be home in 15 mins. Now, I'm back to public transportation which means it takes me about 90 mins to get home. This is throwing off my eating. I WAS so proud of myself and now I feel like I did when I started my journey at 328 lbs. Yes, a lot of weight is still off and it's a daily fight to not put back on anymore weight and to start getting the scale moving back in the opposite direction. I know I'm not the same person I was at 328 lbs and I'm still down about 100 lbs from that but the 1st time hitting this weight was such an accomplishment, now it's depressing. Isn't it funny how when I 1st reached the weight I am now I was celebrating but going past this weight and putting some weight back on and bringing me back to this weight is being looked at as a failure. And, that's what I feel like a failure. :(

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 3/10/2013 11:32AM

    Hang in there, love.

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BLISS_OM 2/10/2013 3:46PM

    Hi, I just saw your page posted on the Spark Pages - Inspirational site and I read your story, and saw all of the AMAZING Before and After pictures and I'm with everyone else here - you no where close to being a failure! Are you kidding?!? How can you fail after losing 145 lbs and YES, I include EVERY POUND you initially lost - because that is a weight loss journey you MUST CLAIM!!! YOU did it, no one else! And because YOU DID IT you KNOW - that YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN!!! WITHOUT A DOUBT!!! You have the fortitude, tools, physical, mental and emotional fortitude to steady your course and get back on the "lo-carb saddle" and GET IT DONE!!!

I really wanted to share with you, and all of the other phenomenally supportive Sparkers that may visit this Blog, too, of the following great article I read from Dr. Michael Eads, one of the preeminent authorities on the Low Carb diet. He wrote an article about just why, from a physiological perspective, it IS so hard to get back to losing weight (esp., on a low carb diet) after bingeing or getting off course. It's not just mental and emotional but physical, too. The GREAT NEWS IS - all is NOT lost - although it takes a minute for our bodies to trust that we are truly committed to losing this go around - it WILL let go of the weight. Also, he explains why you might have so rapidly gained the 45 lbs, too. Here's the link and a great excerpt from his article:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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www.proteinpower
.com/drmike/low-carb-diets
/
why-is-low-carb-harder-the-seco
nd-tim
e-around/

"People learn how to cheat in their first low-carb go round and remember how when they start again

The first time around on a low-carb diet is exciting. Youíre actually getting to eat all these forbidden foods Ė steak, eggs, real butter Ė that youíve been taught make you fat and are losing weight like crazy. Itís unbelievable. But sooner or later, you get a little weary of steak, eggs and real butter, and you start looking to expand your food choices. If you stay on your carb restriction, you start to figure ways that you can keep carbs low, but eat facsimiles of the high-carb foods you enjoyed before you started your low-carb diet. You make the major discovery that low-carb brownies exist (or at least they call them low-carb brownies) so you give them a try. Then you find out about low-carb waffles, pancakes, bagels, etc. You discover that there is a whole low-carb world of what youíve always thought of as high-carb foods. You are in heaven. You can have your cake and eat it, too, so to speak. But around about this time, the weight loss starts to really taper off and maybe even comes to a halt.

A few years later, youíve regained your lost weight plus some, remember how effortlessly you lost it on a low-carb diet, and decide to do it again. But this time, instead of starting with the steak, eggs and real butter all alone, you stock your low-carb larder with low-carb brownies, bagels, chips, and other junk as well. Strangely, the low-carb diet just doesnít seem to work as well this next time around.

If you want to be successful the next time around on a low-carb diet, youíve got to follow a low-carb diet. And it takes commitment. Youíve got to realize itís going to be a little more difficult than it was the first time, and youíve got to go on an honest-to-God low-carb diet filled with quality low-carb real foods. And youíve got to stick to it. You want to hang in there until you get to what was called in the old medical literature the dynamic weight stage. The dynamic weight stage is when weight is changing rapidly in either an upward or downward direction. Anyone who has gained or lost a lot of weight has experienced this. You can gain rapidly once you get into this phase, but ultimately you stabilize and hit the static weight phase. It works the same going the other way. Once you get your weight loss momentum built up, you seem to lose effortlessly while in this dynamic phase. This is where you want to be. But you have to commit for a few solid weeks to get there. You canít just diddle with it, go on a few days and off, fill up on calorie-dense, low-or-no-carb junk, say youíre doing a low-carb diet, and wonder why you arenít losing. Youíve got to get up into the low-carb saddle and ride."

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BLONDENAM 1/21/2013 7:53PM

    You inspire me. I have lost and regained my weight over and over many times. I decided that this time is going to be the last time and I know from reading your story that you will get there again. I have decided that if I can just lose 1/2 lb a week then that is still a loss and the picture doesn't seem so far away and unattainable. So far it is working for me. I am rooting for you. One step at a time and you will get there.

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MSILVER94 1/17/2013 8:43PM

    I understand! My lowest was 189 and now I've gained up to 222 again! And back when I first reached 222 down from 277 I was feeling small and proud, happy, confident...and now I feel like my stomach is poking out in all my clothes and when I pass a mirror think how big I look. BUT I have been back on it for a week. You just have to do one day at a time. I really like what you're background says. I wanted to grab a snack tonight but was dissapointed to see it had already gotten past 8pm and right now I decided I wasn't going to eat after 8pm. I'm just trying to do today what will help me reach my goal tomorrow. It has been a little bit since this post, I hope that you are in a better place now. We have to learn to love ourselves at any part of this journey. Best wishes.

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MCANDIES 1/14/2013 12:49PM

    You are soooooooo an inspirtion. Look how far you came. Don't give up! Ok, so you have gained some weight back. You are gonna have set backs. You just have to force yourself to get back up and dust yourself off and get back in the game. I weighed in last week at 301 and have lost 10 lbs so far. I have a long way to go but it is people like you that have inspired me to keep going. Come on girl, jump back up and get back in there. Try to look for those things that are bringing you down and see if there is any way to change them so that you at least feel some what better about it. It is hard to get back on but if it was easy you wouldn't get that great feeling you are gonna get when you do! We are in this together! emoticon

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MACEW6410 1/13/2013 10:59PM

  Your don't a failure. Your doing a great Job. emoticon

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WITTYKITTY1989 1/12/2013 12:58PM

    You are not a failure, you are an inspiration! I have been doubting whether or not it is even possible for me to lose 92 pounds to reach my goal weight. But 140? I can't believe you did that! Even 100 is amazing to me! You must be such a strong, dedicated, and hard-working person to have managed to lose so much! You give me hope that I can get through this!

Everyone loses track at times, but the secret is getting back on the horse! You can do it!! Take baby steps and you'll hit the ground running again in no time!

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WHIPPEACHZ 1/12/2013 12:34PM

    You are definitely not a failure. You lost in 2 years what it's taken me 20 to loose. You are an inspiration to me that I can get the last 100 lbs off. Maybe there are things in your life that you are still trying to hang on to. I know that with kids in the house it's hard to keep certain things out of it. Just take a day and evaluate what is part of your life that is causing you to trip up. For me it was allowing stressful situations of others to become my problem, and feeling like a failure if I couldn't fix everyone else and there issues. I still fight with this but it becomes a little easier each day to say... I can't control that let it go. I also had to evaluate why I was eating what I was eating. Was it because I needed it or because I was trying to push away a problem instead of dealing with it. There are a lot of things that get in the way and some aren't easy to solve. Figuring out what those things are whether physical or emotional is the first step to getting full control. Changing habits is the hardest part, I often find myself on autopilot and have to regain control of the wheel. You can do this just allow yourself to be a human that makes mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up ask yourself what can I learn from this. Keep going, and never give up!

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ATLGIRL4 1/10/2013 4:33AM

    I know it can be hard, but you can do it, you have come a long way. Perhaps you need to realize everyone goes thru this, ive lost 68 pounds but now the scale is not moving, for the past month. I still try! and i comend you for keeping up the fight.

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MEINPROGRESS 1/5/2013 2:58PM

    We all have weigh loss slumps no matter how much or how little we need to lose. What you have accomplished so far is simply amazing and if you keep trying you will find what works. The only way we fail is when we quit! emoticon

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NEWDAYNEWAY 1/5/2013 8:18AM

  You can do it, have today be your staring point and don't look back. I recently read a motivational quote here at sparkpeople that I repeat to myself often. ' If you're tired of starting over quit giving up'. I know how hard it is to slide back because I am there but you can make today day one and start fresh, don't even think about the gain, just start from today. I know you can do it!!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/30/2012 6:49PM

    Thank you Heart4Home....That means alot.....XOXO

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HEART4HOME 12/30/2012 6:29PM

    First you are not a failure! You are experiencing a down time but you are a fighter. You don't lose 140lbs with out having some spunk in you. I applaud you for sharing your feelings with us. I will be praying for your sweet friend. You got this!!!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/30/2012 2:25PM

    Thanks so much WholeBodyHealth and everyone else for your support.


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WHOLEBODYHEALTH 12/30/2012 2:06PM

    You are not a failure.
You are worth more than your weight.
This battle is not over.
Stay consistent with good choices, not perfect, just consistent.
CONSISTENCY NOT PERFECTION.

You are a winner!
Wholebodyhealth

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/19/2012 10:25PM

    Thank you so much ladies for the feedback & support. It means alot. Amanda I would love to fight this battle with you. XOXO

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ARMATTHAEI 12/19/2012 5:36PM

    I can appreciate where you came from, but we can get there together. I have requested you to be a friend. I am an emotional eater whom has had many ups, downs, & disappearing for long times from the site related to my depression, low self-esteem, & some difficult job situations.

Each of us have come so far, even if travel backwards. One of the other things I have noticed with myself is that I grieve losing the weight. Yes, after it is gone, I actually actually as likely to feel bad that I lost the weight. Why didn't I do it sooner? Will my family who lives 1000 miles away & hasn't seen me in over 4 years accept the new me I am working on becoming. I know that I cannot change their prespective about food and my weight, but they are not the ones living in my body. I am.

I need to do this for me, my health-physical & mental, my life & my career. I am willing to fight this battle with you. We can always battle with each other, as long as it is not against each other. (I know I am one whom is more willing to take care of others than myself, so I am hoping that such an idea may work.)

Your loving warrior,
Amanda

PS-Feel free to check out my blog & page to get to know where my journey has gone, both the right & wrong turns. emoticon

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JUSTLYN1964 12/15/2012 12:04PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RANCHGAL9 12/14/2012 10:17AM

    You can do it - maintaining weight loss is (to me) just a difficult as losing those first pounds. It is a lifestyle and once you can make a "new" routine you will be back to losing. Hang in there - you are certainly not a failure just a little bump in the road.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/13/2012 4:07PM

    Thank you so much Grammy....Everyone has shown such awesome support and given me great advice.....xoxo

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GRAMMYMCCANN 12/13/2012 3:53PM

    You are definitely not a failure. Yes, you are experiencing a set-back, but that is all that is. If you are back to public transportation, can you find a different route to the bus or subway stop that would have you walking a little farther. Being farther away might also require that you walk a little faster and burn up some of those extra calories? Maybe you can spend some time during your commute to journal how you are feeling and what has been going on in your life. Anything you can do that doesn't involve food and might help your mind and/or body. I'll be rooting for you and will check back often to see how you are doing. Be strong in mind and body -- you can get through this and you will! emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/7/2012 4:09PM

    Thanks LIL, you're right XOXO

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LILHANDLULU 12/7/2012 4:01PM

  Try not to feel bad Mama! Life throws us all off sometimes, I had to lose the same weight four times before I finally got past that magic reset weight. You'll get there, just keep trying. As long as you keep trying you aren't a failing anything, you just took an educational detour. *hugs*

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/6/2012 9:28PM

    Thanks Gem....that means a lot.....XOXO

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GEMINIGEM6 12/6/2012 9:14PM

    I just read your last blog before this one. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way now b/c I was just saying I wish I felt as you did when you wrote that last blog. I think you can't look back, but only forward and know you have us, your SP family to cheer you on! You can do it! You've accomplished so much already!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/5/2012 5:17PM

    Thanks Sis.....I appreciate the kindness....XOXO....Would anyone here be willing to exchange cell numbers so I can text someone when I need (like about to reach for a bowl of ice cream)....?

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SISTHOROUGHBRED 12/5/2012 4:23PM

    Going up and down on the scale can be depressing but you have to look at where you came from to get to this point. You are such an inspiration to so many people including myself and we applaud you for your achievement. This is the time where you need to get it together and get back on that horse because if you can make it this far you can go so much further.... Girl, you can do it...

xoxo
SiS

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/5/2012 3:07PM

    Yeah....I'm still trying....won't give up.....I feel like for every step forward I'm taking 2 back

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JPAMPY 12/5/2012 11:49AM

    I can totally relate. I came to SP after having my second child. I needed to lose the baby fat. I lost the weight and then slowly lost motivation and gained some of the weight back. I'm now back AGAIN trying to get to my goal weight and then try to maintain that weight. I have two little ones, ages 3 and 2. I am 35 years old and want to be healthy for them.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/3/2012 7:09PM

    Thanks so much....I'll look for those....I'll try the protein bars or something along those lines....xoxo

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_MOBII_ 12/3/2012 6:41PM

    You aren't a failure! Sometimes life gets in the way. Just tackle one thing at a time.

If you are having a problem with public transportation interfering with eating, bring a meal replacement bar with you to work and eat it on the bus (or whatever transport you are using) on the way home, or just before you leave work, that way you don't feel starved by the time you get home and fix something healthy.
I keep a box of them in my drawer at work and there are days here and there that I will even eat a half of one for a snack. They are heavy enough to stick with you for a couple hours and reasonably priced.
I get the Life Bars from Walmart, they are just a few dollars for a box of 5. I get either the chocolate or peanut butter ones that have 21g protein.

You can do this!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/3/2012 3:25PM

    Thanks so much hun...xoxo

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CHANGINGSAM 12/3/2012 3:21PM

    Don't feel like a failure. Life gets in the way. You are strong enough to get through this. Find a way to get back on track. Start by working on your fitness and getting some in every day. Baby steps. emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 12/2/2012 9:57PM

    Thank you so much for the support and advice. It is greatly appreciated. XOXO emoticon

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SURLYGIRL 12/2/2012 9:52PM

    Below is a link (I think you have to copy and paste) for a blog from IndyGirl about weight regain. I thought she and her story might be helpful to you.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/
mypage_public_journal_individua
l.asp?blog_id=5153528

And just for the record, I think you're very strong and brave to continue on this journey to a healthy life and weight. Spark On.

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DETERMINEDAGAIN 12/2/2012 9:18PM

    You are not a failure. Often, change is a catalyst, for good or bad. Unfortunately change in your routine through off your eating habits and now you're trying to figure out what to do. For those 90 minutes, maybe you can spark instead of get distracted and snack? Do some seated exercises- tense your bum and relax. See how many you can do. No one will know except you :) Calf raises. Etc. Try reading a book, or listen to something uplifting. Make that 90 minutes your "me" time and do something you like that won't be too hard on a bus (I used to knit and crochet heh). This is just a temporary set back if you let it be temporary. Use your disappointment at the weight gain as a catalyst to get back on track!

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Exactly 1 Year Ago!!

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

It has been EXACTLY 1 year that I started my weight loss journey. July 3 2011 was the day that has changed my life not just for the better but the healthier (which is for the better).
There have many roadblocks and detours on this journey. The path wasn't always an easy one to follow but I did and stayed on the path and I have accomplished so much.
Never did I think I would be where I am today. And, that is because like many, I have tried and failed at numerous attempts at dieting. Gain weight lose weight gain weight lose weight. We've all been there and I'm not known for completing things....I get sidetracked easily & discouraged.
What made this time different-alot!! I was tired of being the fattest person everywhere I went,tired of being embarrassed & disgusted with myself. I hated the way I looked (I'm still working on it) and I was repulsed. I thought at my heaviest weight 328 lbs that I didn't deserve happiness. I wasn't as good as everyone else. Even though I would bend over backwards for any of my friends or family.
Today, 1 year later, I'm 138.5 lbs lighter. I weigh 189. 5 now. I can't remember the last time I was this weight. I still have about 60-70 more lbs to go but I've accomplished so much in 365 days. I plan to keep on going and not stopping until I reach my goal.
I feel great about myself, feel great physically and I'm gonna be around for my kids as long as possible!! I'm enjoying life now and participating in life not just watching my life go with wasted moments. I'm making memories for me and my children. One day when I am gone my children will remember a mother who got herself healthy not just for herself but for them too.
Everyday is another chance to create a new you and I'm not wasting anymore chances!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIEMOMOF3 12/6/2012 9:29PM

    Thanks Gem....You're a sweetheart XO

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GEMINIGEM6 12/6/2012 9:11PM

    I actually just wrote a blog saying some of what you said here, except I am where you were in the beginning. Please feel free to read it. I can relate so much. I dream of getting to the place you are at when you wrote this. Congrats on your success.

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NUNZIATA43 9/2/2012 1:15PM

    Jackie,

Your words are so encouraging! Tell me how you keep yourself motivated. Your picture gallery is awesome. What strength and courage you have! emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/9/2012 4:52PM

    Ty RADAZZLE XOXO

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RADAZZLE 7/9/2012 1:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/7/2012 10:03AM

    Thx DAREDEVILME XOXO

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DAREDEVILME 7/7/2012 9:30AM

    You are a true inspiration.....keep up the good work!!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/7/2012 8:51AM

    Thank you so much TruthNow2....I never thought of it like that.....XOXO

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TRUTHNOW2 7/7/2012 8:35AM

    Happy Anniversary!!!!!! You have done so much in a year... and I think it is great that it comes the day before Independence Day.... like it is your own throwing off the rule of tyranny (obesity and all the accompanying restrictions).

You are truly an inspiration.



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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/6/2012 8:54PM

    Ty SRBROWN2 XOXO

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CHANGINGSAM 7/6/2012 11:54AM

    emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/6/2012 8:00AM

    TY RGEETING xoxo

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RGEETING 7/6/2012 12:04AM

    Congratulations!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/5/2012 10:09AM

    I try to get on here daily to thank everyone personally. I'm sorry that I didn't. But, I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog (s) and commenting and the support. The friendships I cherish..... emoticon emoticon

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HEART4HOME 7/4/2012 10:45AM

    Awesome! Your faithfulness and determination is very encouraging. Wishing you another healthy 365! You will get there!

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NUTRON3 7/4/2012 8:47AM

    Wow, YOU HAVE DONE GREAT!

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STEPH-KNEE 7/4/2012 5:38AM

    You have done amazing, congrats on the continued success! :D

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CHICAT63 7/4/2012 5:18AM

    Awesomess, congratulations !!!

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DANNIELLEFIT 7/3/2012 10:28PM

    Good job!

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CHEROKEE1946 7/3/2012 10:16PM

    Great job.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/3/2012 9:51PM

    Ty JLMALLETTE XO

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JLMALLETTE 7/3/2012 9:50PM

    Congrats!
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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/3/2012 9:33PM

    Thank you everyone so much for the support, encouragement, & friendship XOXO emoticon

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 7/3/2012 9:28PM

    Awesome!! Congrats!!

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LALMEIDA 7/3/2012 9:24PM

  emoticon emoticon

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LA_BELLA_BAMA 7/3/2012 9:23PM

    Way to go! Congratulations!

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AGreat Day For So Many Reasons!

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Today was a good day!! A great day!! I almost cried at what many people may think is silly or take for granted. See, I went in a pool in a bathing suit which I haven't done in years because of being morbidly obese. But, that was the past the old me. I still have some weight to lose but I'm coming around the final turn....I want to lose between 60-70 lbs in order to get to my goal and complete my journey.
Since July 3 2011 I've already lost 138.5 lbs....For me to put on a bathing suit and get in the pool with everyone else and not be the one sitting on the sidelines (because I'm embarrassed or the pool ladder can't hold my weight) meant alot to me and to my kids(it fills my heart with so much happiness when I see that happiness in their eyes that mommy can do things with them now)....I can enjoy my kids and they can enjoy being with their mom like it's supposed to be.I didn't look like a supermodel in my bathing suit but I'm not trying to. I mean, really, who wants to? Of course I want to get to what is a healthy weight FOR ME and not what others think I should be. If looking good means being so thin that I can be blown over by someone whispering in my ear then I'll leave it.
I'm jumping in and enjoying life again and I found me again. This person writing this deserves to be happy & healthy. Losing this weight has given me my life back, my freedom,my moments with my kids back & my kids got their mother back This is why I was brought to tears filling my eyes....IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK & DON'T TAKE A SINGLE DAY FOR GRANTED EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS TAKE JOY IN XOXO

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIEMOMOF3 7/3/2012 8:15AM

    Thanks for the support & friendship Rochelle XOXO

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ROCHELLE62 7/2/2012 9:55PM

    the thoughts of putting on a swim suit terrify most of us. you have every reason to be proud.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/2/2012 8:04PM

    Thanks SRBROWN XOXO

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CHANGINGSAM 7/2/2012 10:24AM

    emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/1/2012 8:28PM

    TY Sher emoticon

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SHERYLDS 7/1/2012 8:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT GREAT MILESTONE.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/1/2012 7:13PM

    Thank you so much everyone emoticon

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BLUEFAIRYTALE 7/1/2012 7:09PM

  You look gorgeous and are such an inspiration! emoticon emoticon

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JAOTTO 7/1/2012 7:08PM

  Good job.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 7/1/2012 7:03PM

    Thank you....Please share my blog to others that may benefit....

Comment edited on: 7/1/2012 7:04:09 PM

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PILOTSLAIR24 7/1/2012 6:59PM

    Congrats!!! You are an inspiration!!!

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PATTOMMC3 7/1/2012 6:58PM

    Amazing!

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Back Up Again...But, I Still Have Accomplished Alot!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The scale is up again! What a surprise? Not!! I knew it was gonna happen this week. It usually happens pretty big when it does....I retain water too easily. Excessive salty snacking is bad for me. I know this but did it anyway.
I think there was some emotional eating going on this week behind my choices. On June 8 2012 it will be 2 years since my mother passed away and today was another Mother's Day without her. My mother, even though not with me in the physical, has been a great support motivator in my weight loss. My mother was a NTP (Naturally Thin Person) her whole life and I know it bothered her that her daughter was FAT. But, throughout my life and many attempts, just couldn't get the weight off or to stay off when it did.
The scale went back up this week 10 lbs and YES it bothers me but I know almost all of it is water weight and should be off next week. This is what usually happened when I had a week with a big gain. There was a week in the past where I gained 8 lbs and the week after that I lost 10 lbs.
I just have to get past this up down thing with the scale already. It's getting on my last nerve. Since July 3 2011 my total weight loss is 124 lbs and that is nothing to feel bad about. I've come far in a short time. When I need to be reminded or "smacked" back into reality like Cher would say in Moonstruck "Snap Out Of It"-I look at my before pictures.
There is NO WAY I'm going to let myself get back to where I was last July-I don't care if the scale is showing a gain this week. It's part of life. It is what it is!
I'm a MOM! I LOVE MY KIDS! I LOVE BEING A MOM & it's very important to me! So, as a MOM I have to take care of myself so I can be around for my kids as long as possible.....I want to see grandkids & great grandkids.....
I LOVE ME and it's taken a LONG time for me to learn to say it and mean it. It was hard to love myself when I was morbidly obese, the fattest person everywhere I went (99% of the times) & in my mind ugly & not worthy of self love or love from anyone. No1 can take that away from me & everything that losing weight has given me. It's given me so much more than a smaller number on the scale, smaller body, & smaller clothes. Losing weight has given me my health back (haven't had any asthma episodes), my self respect & self worth, my self esteem & learning to love myself. It's a given me a FREEDOM that I haven't felt in a long time to enjoy my family & my life the way it's meant to be. Life isn't meant to sit back and keep watching from the sidelines because I couldn't do simple stuff (like walking too far without being in pain or not being able to breathe).
LOSING WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME-ME!!! No numbers on a scale is going to take that away or dictate how I feel about me!
I LOVE ME! There I said it and I meant it!! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIEMOMOF3 5/18/2012 7:40AM

    Thank you so much karenmarie. That means alot. You inspire me. Xoxo

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CANDOK1260 5/18/2012 6:09AM

    thank you evertime i read one of your blog i get inspiration thanks for sharing

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JACKIEMOMOF3 5/17/2012 3:06PM

    Thanks Kat...I'm having good and bad days....and my days aren't completely bad...start off good..then...well we all know....I just need to get control again and it's been difficult....

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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 5/17/2012 3:00PM

    Hang in there, we all hit hills, keep on going forward!

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Kat

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JACKIEMOMOF3 5/14/2012 7:12PM

    Thank you Sharon. It touches my heart that you take the time to read my blogs & write me back. You inspire me also.

Jackie

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TRUTHNOW2 5/14/2012 12:53PM

    I cannot get over that picture of you from May 8. I hear you clearly about this mother's day and scale going up etc. I absolutely applaud your spirit to not allow the scale number to deter you or have you forget how great you have been doing.
Thank you for your inspiration and self-wisdom.
With care,
Sharon

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I'm Doing It!!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I've been overweight almost my whole life.. That's a long time since I just turned 43 (this past March). I've done it all...tried alot of different diets....joined gyms quit gyms....lost weight regained it.
In 2011 I finally got fed up. I was at my heaviest ever~328 lbs!! Whoa! When did this happen? Overtime is when. Times of eating too much, eating the wrong foods, not exercising. Just not taking care of myself.
I started on my weight loss journey July 3 2011 and haven't looked back. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got fed up with how I looked and how I felt. I want to be around for my kids and not just watch from the sidelines anymore. I don't want to die young due to something I could have prevented.
Brief history: My youngest son will be turning 5 in May and back when he was about a year old I remember going to a doctor to start on the process of having lap band surgery. I decided against it and that it wasn't for me. The doctor told me the way that I ate when I would lose weight is the right way to eat once I had surgery (smaller portions no carbs). The surgery wasn't a guarantee that I would lose weight. I decided not to go thru with it because I didn't want to go thru the whole process just for it not to work. Time went on and so did more weight.
Back to July 3 2011. I started making changes. I was watching portions, cutting back carbs, & slowing adding in cardio. All of a sudden I'm starting to realize that weight was starting to come off. That in of itself was motivation. I stuck with it. I was determined to stay determined and not go back to where I was before July 3 2011. I was making small realistic goals that were attainable and nothing unrealistic. Everytime I reached 1 it was motivating. I learned not to set any goals that I knew to be unrealistic because that can get someone depressed when you don't reach them. This is something I still do.
Fast forward to today~April 29 2012~I HAVE LOST 132 lbs!! I am in Onederland! I still have a long way to go but I am definitely a new person. I can tell my confidence has increased. I look better and feel better ( I can't remember when I last had an issue with my asthma). I love clothes shopping now. Who wouldn't when you're able to buy clothes in "regular" clothes stores. I move around better. People around me even say I seem different~more alive more vibrant. I continue to do cardio (Richard Simmons is my fav) and I belong to a gym. I do what I can when I can. I learned not to beat myself if I miss a workout or a day at the gym or if I ate wrong. What I'm doing I have to do for the rest of my life. It's something I have to live with. I try to go by this saying that I heard "Ask yourself if what you're doing today is bringing you closer to where you want to be tomorrow". We seem to focus too much on how far we have to go instead of celebrating how far we have come.
I lost this 132 lbs WITHOUT surgery (since July 3 2011). I did it with pure want power & focus & determination. I have had setbacks and there maybe more in the future. Who knows? But, if there are then I will deal with it and move on. Regardless of how many setbacks or roadbumps there maybe on this path I'm on, it will NEVER make me change focus and direction and move backwards. I will keep moving forward. It's the only way I know now. I am stronger than I was back then both mentally & physically & emotionally.
Today at the park with my kids I was able to go down a kid's slide. Some people may think that's silly but for someone like me (when I weighed 328 lbs was usually 9 out of 10 times the heaviest person everywhere I went) to be able to fit on a kid's slide is an accomplishment. I was able to climb around on the playground equipment with my son and the smile on his face to see his mom playing with him instead of watching him from the bench is one of the reasons why I did what I did and will do what I'm gonna do.
The only thing I'm sad about is that my mom & dad aren't around for this. I know they wanted me to lose weight. I know, too, they are watching over me and are proud. I mean, heck, I'm proud.
I really don't want to come across conceited but I am really really proud of how far I've come. There are so many out there that are struggling with their weight whether it's 20 lbs to lose or as much as I had to lose or more. We, as humans, have to learn to think more of ourselves and love ourselves more and realize WE ARE WORTH IT!! We are worth being healthy, we are worth looking good, & we are worth BEING HAPPY! We are worth all this & much more! We deserve this!! . Focus on your failures/setbacks and your destined to repeat them. Learn from it. Forgive yourself because you love yourself & move forward to a new you. Celebrate all that you have achieved & more will come your way.
Each day is a new day to create a new you!
If anyone has any comments on this blog or any questions or wants to buddies/friends please don't hesitate to contact me.
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Jackie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIEMOMOF3 6/21/2012 1:20PM

    Thx so much Jcardinal & SRBROWN12....Thank you everyone for the support & kind words. It touches me when I hear that I inspire others. It's an added bonus to weight loss. Love Ya All!! emoticon emoticon
~Jackie~

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CHANGINGSAM 6/21/2012 9:59AM

    You definitely don't sound conceited. You have every right to be proud and shout it from the roof tops! You have come so far, and I am so proud of you for choosing to change your life (without surgery too!). You are truly an inspiration, Jackie! Keep up the great work!

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JCARDINAL 6/20/2012 8:49PM

    I love this blog!! It has inspired me to not give up!! Thank you!!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 6/20/2012 8:35PM

    Thank you so much CK!! You can do this!! I'm here for you if you need or want!!

Jackie

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CKLROBERSON 6/19/2012 4:40PM

    Thank you for sharing this blog. I could completely relate to how you felt when you started your journey. I started mine in February of this year at 303 lbs and LOVE to be able to go down a kids's slide : ) I have had some struggles recently following my program and I love your message about forgiving yourself and moving on. Because you are right..We are all worth it. "Each day is a new day to create a new you". I'm gonna have to steal that : ) You and your success is very inspiring. Best of luck to you as you continue your journey.

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ANNROSE126 5/13/2012 8:55AM

    YOUR STORY IS VERY COMPELLING! AND HAVE A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2012!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 5/4/2012 6:59PM

    Thank you. Everyone of you inspire me....XO

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MARSCK 5/4/2012 9:22AM

    Thanks!! You are such an inspiration!!

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JACKIEMOMOF3 5/3/2012 7:57PM

    Thank you Serena XOXO

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SERENAJL 5/3/2012 7:51PM

    So inspiring.

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JACKIEMOMOF3 5/3/2012 6:52PM

    Thanks So Much Karen XOXO

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CANDOK1260 5/3/2012 6:47PM

    emoticonThanks for sharing you are really inspiring emoticon emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 4/30/2012 3:59PM

    Thanks so much everyone for the support XOXO

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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 4/30/2012 12:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHANGINGSAM 4/30/2012 11:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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BYTHEGRACE 4/30/2012 9:09AM

    Love it...especially the "want power"...has a little more "passion" than "willpower" don't ya think! Keep going, Jackie...we're cheering for you! emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 4/30/2012 8:32AM

    Thank you so much ladies....all of you for the friendship and support....xoxo

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DIVEGODDESS 4/30/2012 8:29AM

    Loved your blog. "Every day is a new day to create a new you". Love that!! I totaly agree!!

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SHARON-MARIE 4/29/2012 10:32PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JACKIEMOMOF3 4/29/2012 10:23PM

    Thank you ladies....everyone here is such motivation for me.....XOXO

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QUASIOR 4/29/2012 10:21PM

    Well done :) You are achieving your goals. It's my motivation too to be able to bit a fit mum so I can play with my children, and to be around for them instead of a burden, so I get you.

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LEN_VERSION32 4/29/2012 10:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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