Wednesday, January 12, 2011
This is part of an email I sent to my sparkbuddy this morning.
After having 10 good eating days in a row, I had a terrible day yesterday. I ate everything I shouldn't eat. I left the office to purchase a meal that was full of fat. I snacked all day and in the evening I made poor food choices. I had a late meeting and didn't get home until 7:30 pm. I walked in the door and the kitchen had not been cleaned up by my family after they ate dinner. I was really angry. I jumped in and with a martyr's attitude started doing the dishes. While I was cleaning up the kitchen it hit me. I was not really angry about the kitchen, I was angry about the choices I had made. No one force feed me, it had not been a particularly stressful day and I did have healthy food that I brought to the office to eat. I had that here I go again, out of control again feeling. In the past when I totally lose control like this it just sets me up for a continuation of the same out of control eating. I prayed, please God, help me get myself under control. It also makes me ask myself why I made the choices I made. I really don't know except it was an easy thing to do and I wanted to eat what I wanted. (Do I need counseling?) I spent the rest of the evening regrouping my strategy. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy and I need to fight for it. I need to fight for my life. I will not fail, because I will never give up. I got up this morning and worked out for an hour. I have meals and snacks planned for today and they are going to help me achieve my goal. They are my secret weapon against obesity.