Saturday, March 21, 2009
So last night, me and Bill got into a fight, and somewhere in the midst of it, or soon after, I was having a small breakdown, and realized a few things about my life in general and recently. I was brought up in a no-fail household. We were held to rather high expectations about almost everything. Now, many times we could meet those expectations, but when we didn't, parents were unhappy and we were in trouble. The best course of action when one did not do well was to simply ignore it and try to hide the evidence. Once, me and my sister "lost" one quarter's worth of grades. We figured if we both did it, no one would remember that it was grade time. It worked. So, this method has pros and cons, the pros are that clearly I still hold myself to high expectations and often I am able to meet them. The con is that I hold myself to high expectations and sometimes cannot reach them. When enough of these happen at once, it can be a problem.
The last few weeks of my life have been a bit crazy. I've been determining whether or not I am intolerant of wheat (still up in the air!), I've been dealing with all kinds of issues at work with machines and procedures that are just not working well. I'm dealing with multiple manuscript revisions in an attempt to get published. Our finances are always very tight, and we just had some work done on the car and will likely need more, so I've been diligent about coupons and such, although my grocery bills haven't quite dropped yet (stocking up takes time). Bill has school stuff we need to deal with. Comcast has DVR issues, and just costs way too much. I've been working extremely hard to control my food intake and exercise and planning things out very specifically, and trying some low carbing. I've also been exercising like a maniac. I read a ton of blogs on diet and exercise and saving money that can be hard to keep up with. Essentially, I have a lot going on, and a lot of it right now is giving me either no results or is failing. This is not a good place for me mentally.
Of course, using my childhood training, I bury the things that are failing, and sometimes I avoid the things that appear to be most likely to fail, which tend to be the more important things to get done, and get focused on things I feel like I can control, like diet and exercise, although the stress of the whole things makes the diet hard because I'm craving high-carb comfort foods while in a low-energy situation. Also, I don't even realize this is going on, because I tend to mentally block anything that isn't working until it breaks through all at once and then I deal with it.
Well, that's now. So, I realize that I have to drop the OCD about things, and get over my fears of failing or of not being perfect in every way (hence, the OCD), and just get stuff done, even if it is half-assed or doesn't work out. The best way to start this is to drop the things I try to control the most, the calories. If I spend a little bit of time focusing on how I feel about eating versus counting, timing, and being crazy, I know I can carry that over to the other bits of my life. Plus, I use calorie counting and meal planning as procrastination for not doing things, especially at work, that are trouble. I'm also going to relax about reading the blogs and such, and maybe thin them out. I'm going to exercise, but not plan ahead too much what I want to do, just do whatever exercise I feel like. Today, I'm going to do some push-ups and maybe crunches and 4 min. of something aerobic from Dax Moy's website. That's it. I'm going to enjoy dinner, and eat snack if I want to, when I want to.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Well, dinner got switched around a bit because I forgot to prepare white beans for the chili, so we had the chicken and veggies in cream cheese sauce instead. It was good! I made the sauce by mincing onions and 1 jalapeno with seeds and satueeing them slightly in homemade stock, then I put in the food processor 1/5 cup of stock and 1/3 cup of lowfat cream cheese, 1 oz of cheddar cheese, and some Mrs. Dash and garlic salt. I added the sauce to the onions and jalapenos, and also chicken, celery, corn, green beans, and cauliflower. I thought it was good, I think Bill did too. He said it didn't need salt, which is a win in my book. If you don't like spice, you might want to leave out the jalapeno, de-seed it, or substitute it with a less spicy pepper, such as an poblano, chipotle, or anaheim. A delicious lower-carb, high protein meal!
My workday was insane, running from one experiment to another. Suddenly, I have a million things going on! Next week I need to fix some equipment, do a lot of FISH, count quite a few cells, and clone clone clone. Whew!
The weather has been nice, although the nights are still cold. However, I hear this will make for some nice maple syrup! Too bad it makes it chilly inside at night sometimes. I can't wait for spring to really hit, mostly because I can't wait to go shopping at the farmers market for fresh produce! I'm so sad. I'm still dreaming of the day when I can afford grass-fed beef on a regular basis!
My wheat experiment is so-so, last night I felt crummy. I definitely notice that I feel great in the morning and deteriorate throughout the day as I eat the wheat more, but I'm not yet getting nearly as sick as before Christmas. I am eating wheat every day, mostly puffed wheat and yucky Atkins bars now, but Sunday I'm back on carbs and therefore can eat fiber one bars, which taste better, and have fiber in them! I do think though, that I may look into buying some wheat bran and making my own bars. Maybe I'll use the sorghum flour or quinoa in them, yum.
I did another crazy workout tonight. I started on the bike with a lopsided pyramid, increased from level 1-7 over 7 min, and then dropped back 5, 3, 1 over the las three minutes. Then I did 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, and 10 push-ups on my knees, get-ups, squats, crunches, dips on floor, and leg raises. That's 100 of each. Whew!
I'm not sure I'm loving the high carb = weights, low carb = aerobic/circuit workout schedule, because I feel very tired on low carb. I think for the first two weeks of April I'm going to focus on low-density, high-fiber, low cal, balanced but not excessive carbs/proteins (I'm thinking 80-100g protein, 160-200g carbs). Go back to a split with 3 days of strength, 3 days of circuits/aerobics, and 1 day of yoga/pilates for workouts. Even if this month's weight loss results are reasonable, I don't function on low carb and lots of workouts, my body simply can't handle energy production in that way, I know, I keep trying.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tonight, I made a fabulous dish for dinner! Chicken with asparagus and tomato in a creamy balsamic sauce. I pretty much put it together myself with some ideas and a few "oh, you can combine those" from the internet.
I browned 1in chicken pieces in just a bit of olive oil and spiced them with garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, and oregano. Then I added cut-up fresh asparagus and a bit more olive oil and sauteed until crisp tender. I made a sauce of 1/2 cup homemade chicken stock, 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1/4 c heavy cream, a tsp onion powder, which I heated for a bit, and then added to the chicken and asparagus and let simmer for about 10min. Right at the end I added 2 cut up roma tomatoes and topped with a four-cheese Italian mix (although I'm sure mozzarella would have been fine). It was delicious! Try it. We had a salad on the side.
Enjoy! The rest of my day was pretty typical. It was a bit crazy at work, lots of people needed my help, I had a conference call that actually lasted an hour about modeling. My PCR still doesn't like me, but my FISH is going nicely, so far.
This morning I did a Leslie Sansone boosted walk, and this evening we went walking. It was nice earlier, but it got so cold when we went out, and my left foot felt incredibly numb for a while, and we started later than my workout usually starts, and I was starting into severe low blood sugar when we got back, so I jumped into snack, and switched my snack around to grab something faster, but still fit into my calories and stuck with lower carb options, however, I'm pretty sure I hate Atkins bars. Lower sugar or not, I've got to find a better way to manage that, maybe I'll buy more fiber one and make my own again.
I am tired tonight. Got to get some serious sleep!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Today was one of those days where I was a bit out of it, so I tried to keep it to easy things. Fortunately, we got the new bulb for the epifluorescent microscope, so I sat and counted cells for 90 min. I'm used to doing that, and it doesn't require much movement (i.e., nothing to drop and break). I survived and even eventually woke up a bit.
Dinner was just a classic stir-fry with pork, bok choy, and sugar-snap peas. I ground up somme cauliflower and chick peas to give a rice-like texture. It worked pretty well.
I ate mostly typical other foods. My yogurt veggie dip is pretty good now, with onion powder, dill, chives, Mrs. Dash, and just a bit of cayenne. I've got some atkins bars that I'm munching on to keep my wheat intake while low-carbing, and I've determined that I hate the awful sweetener taste of those bars. I used to like them, not anymore. I think I like that.
I did a crazy workout tonight. Started with the bike, 3 min warm-up, and 2 sets of pyramid intervals: 30 sec fast, 1 min recovery, 1 min fast, 1 min recovery, 90 sec fast, 1 min recovery (repeat). Then I did 5 rounds of continuous circuit of 20 each of crunches, squats, push-ups on knees, and dips. Then I hopped back on the bike for 10 min of intervals 30 sec fast, 30 sec recovery. Then 5 more rounds of the above circuit.
Lost was interesting, one of the better episodes in my opinion. Now it is bedtime, because I have to get up at the usual early time tomorrow. I slept in 30 min today, so, tomorrow is early. Goodnight!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Tonight was Louisiana Red Beans and Rice found at Eating Well here: www.eatingwell.com/recipes/re
d_beans_rice.html . I used a ham steak instead of Canadian bacon and my beans were pretty mushy due to being crockpot made during the day, so I didn't mash any. I also served it mixed up with wild rice. I may have been a bit too liberal with the Cayenne pepper. I thought it was pretty yummyif a bit spicy, but Bill didn't really love it, said maybe with cheese or something. He ate it with no complaints, so I'll take that. Anyway, if you like rice and beans kind of dishes, give it a try. I like that it has lots of veggies, beans for fiber, and can be done with lean meats.
The rest of my eating today is going fine. My tummy was acting wierd few times in the middle of the day, seizing up and hurting, but seems to be calm again. My wheat products today included: bisquick pancake with breakfast, wheat germ and granola bar for snack, ritz crackers with lunch, flour in cheese sauce with dinner, and I'll have wheat-including granola on my yogurt tonight after I work out.
Starting tomorrow I am back to low carb for a while. My wheat will mostly be wheat germ and atkins granola bars and puffed wheat cereal. I figure it doesn't get any more wheat than puffed wheat, and it is yummy, and low in cals and not too high in carbs. Tonight is my last tough workout day, and I have lower body scheduled, which means tons of lunges and squats, can't wait!
Other than that stuff, I did quite a bit of work at work (novel idea I realize), and was helping another postdoc who is more of a biochemist do some molecular ecology. My PCR is still giving me all kinds of trouble .... but I'll figure it out. All my machines are now in my lab though, so I no longer have 4 flights of stairs to run samples, yay! It is spring break for UMass, which means no students (yay! quiet!) but the buses run on reduced schedules (every 35-45min instead of every 15). I ran late making dinner tonight because I missed the 5:41 bus and had to take the 6:16. Tomorrow is going to be another long day because I have small group ministry, so will stay at work until 6:30-6:45 and then go to small group from 7-9 before getting home. I already have dinner made for tomorrow though, so that's good. Maybe I'll sleep in Wed. to make up for it. Tomorrow is also Evacuation Day (observed) for UMass, whatever wierd Mass holiday that is, an nicely placed on St. Patrick's Day, but I don't care about either holiday, so whatever. We're not Irish, a bit scottish on both sides, but no Irish, and we're happy to keep it that way.
Ok, I have to go plan the remainder of tomorrow's meals and then workout!
Get An Email Alert Each Time IVORY1825 Posts