#304: Birthday Party Day

Saturday, May 01, 2010

This afternoon was my young nephew, Evan's, bowling center birthday party. It's always an experience for single me to be around a gaggle of six year olds running around uncontrolled like they were all on super sugar highs.

When they act like this the controlling part of me of me wants to scream for order and quiet. But I am not their parents or the center management so unless there is an obvious safety risk, I hold my tongue.

Besides, there are several rules of life I have learned. One is that babies cry. Another is that dogs bark . And a third is that when young kids are together, bedlam reigns at times. I'm ready to add a fourth observation: parents become dulled to the actions of their and others' children so that what bothers me doesn't even merit a second of concern for them because they are more used to the unstructured play than I am.

This time none of the adults bowled which was okay. Gave me a chance to talk to some new acquaintances and to learn of how one, Mark, is a high-rise crane operator, a job that gives me vertigo just thinking about him being 270 feet or more off the ground in a tiny booth. It was interesting to hear that his control cabin has a built-in radio/cd player, mini refrigerator and microwave. Guess it saves time on breaks over making the long climb down and then back up. I assume there is some provision for certain functions that need to be tended to, but I tactfully didn't ask.

Surprisingly, when bowling began, the kids calmed down and were fairly orderly, jumping for joy when their ball knocked down some pins and occasionally got a strike (all pins down with the first shot). They loved the bumpers and never seemed to recognize them as aids. I think they, like the adults, liked to watch the crazy caroms. It was nice, too, to see them innocently bowling solely for fun and not noticing who had a better score.

After their two games were finished, we all had lunch then cake and Evan opened his gifts. Then they descended on the game room, allowing the adults some semblance of quiet. We talked about Robyn being pregnant , played with the little babies on hand, learned about Judy's son's flag football game this morning and all in all shared fairly innocuous conversation with each other.

Finally, it was time to head our separate ways. Not a day of utmost in excitment or inspiration, but a pleasant way to spend a few Saturday afternoon hours with people I otherwise would not have met and to watch young people who reminded me that play need not be competitive, but enjoyed simply to be enjoyed.

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#303: We All Need Help Now and Then

Friday, April 30, 2010

We all want to be winners. That is, we want to be successful in what we do.

This is why tomorrow at my six-year-old nephew's birthday party at a local bowling center, bumpers will be put into the lane channels (gutters). These bumpers guide the kid's bowling balls to the pins so they knock some down with nearly every roll of the ball . It builds up the children's confidence and adds to their self-esteem.

The alternative is a sea of sad faces and despondent attitudes, things young children should not have to endure at a fun birthday celebration . Not when there is an alternative of the bumpers available. These moments are not the time for competition and athleticism, but of pizza and birthday cake and running around and, oh, yeah, maybe getting an assisted strike.

Some adults disagree with helping the kids at something like this. They say the kids will grow up with a sense of entitlement when they face an obstacle they do not have the skills to overcome.

I say, "Baloney!" Remember our first low-to-the-ground tricycles and the training wheels on our first bicycles? Remember T-ball before live pitching in little league baseball? Or the assisted moves in gymnastics and swimming classes ?

Children and adults all need to have pure, unspoiled fun sometimes. And to see the smiles on the parents' faces as they, too, roll a bowling ball against the bumper, adds a smile to our own face.

Let's admit it -- life is tough and we all need help now and then, at work or at play. But there is time enough for dealing with life's difficulties as we age. At a birthday party at a bowling center, I say bring on the bumpers! They might just let me knock down a few pins, too.

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#302: How Intense Are You?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I have read in various fitness magazines about intensity and how working out intensively will improve our exercises and speed the results we derive from our workouts.

Intensity is more mental than physical and is the result of desiring something with our very being. Intensity drives us full bore toward our goals and ensures that nothing less than our utmost effort will suffice.

Perhaps you are beginning a jogging program or are only up to two chin-ups or 10 pushups at a time. The quantity is not as important as the intensity with which you complete your exercises, fitness experts say. Do them so intensely that all else around you disappears. Focus firmly on feeling the muscles during the exercise and give each one your all.

They claim that if we approach things with intensity we will soon discover amazing things happening. The weight we wanted to lose will begin to disappear . The exercises that seemed so hard at first now are hard to ignore. Our mountain of anxiety will begin to disappear. Our sleep will improve.

Intensity is becoming oblivious to everything else around us for the time we are exercising. Exercise time is workout time, not time to stress over problems or think of the grocery list. An intense attitude will flush out those worries and allow the exercises to be more effective. Go all out for the time you workout. Test your limits. Eliminate thinking about anything that has no bearing on what you are trying to accomplish at the moment.

Most of know what it feels like to be physically exhausted after a workout. We know what it is like to be aware of muscles we were not sure we had. But perhaps it is time we racheted up the intensity level, to pull everything we have from every workout session and get the most from every exercise.

Perhaps it is time we become more dynamic and rigorous in what we do, in our workouts and in our lives. No more half-efforts. Full out all of the time, every time.

Intensity. Let's try it for added success.

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#301: Yesterday is Gone.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I recall reading once that what seems a failure in our lives may not have been one at all but simply may have been the best we could have done under the circumstances.

Tears, self-regret, even self-loathing will never change our past decisions. There is no reason to dwell on what might have been or could have been or on what we should have done or said. Our judgment at the time was the decision we made because of the existing situation, using our overall knowledge of the event. Self-recriminations serve no worthwhile purpose.

Isn't it enough that we have today's challenges to deal with? Must we overload our emotions and our minds with the past?

When we make decisions we build our wealth of knowledge for the future, when similar circumstances may again face us, when we can call on our past experiences to shape our future reactions.

Over time, we can only hope and pray that we make the best judgment calls we can with facts at hand. We mustn't allow tears of sorrow to drown our ambitions but should always remember that whatever we have done was likely the best we could have done at the time and know that even if faced with identical circumstances in the future our decisions will be tempered by past knowledge and experience.

Let us live today, expect tomorrow, but never drown in yesterday.

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#300: Does Stagnant Thinking Have You in a Rut?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Does your thinking need refreshing?

It's easy to get into routines that soon turn into ruts of doing the same things in the same way day after day, ruts that drain us of our creativity and energy.

When was the last time you drove a different route to or from work or the library or when was the last time you even turned into a different entrance to a shopping center? If you walk or jog or bike, how often do you vary your routes? Do you ever expand your paths into adjoining neighborhoods? How about nearby towns for a fresh perspective and to add some spice to the day? What about getting out of doors at a different time, if possible?

To avoid ruts we must expand our visions and stretch our comfort zones.

Ruts rob us of our life force and may drive us into despair and depression, like looking at wilted flowers day after day. But how do our spirits soar when we have fresh, colorful bouquets decorating our offices and homes?

What are your ruts? How can you get out of them and put freshness into your life?

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