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#53: A Wise Moment

Friday, August 21, 2009

A fellow SparkPeople member posted this quote today:

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds -- Francis Bacon.

When I read it I was convinced I must have been wise for a short while this afternoon when I stopped at the grocery store. I'm usually more outgoing with people when it's my choice than when I feel forced into gestures of friendship. And so it was today. While I shopped I said hi to several employees and told them what a good job they were doing. It never hurts us to do this and makes people feel appreciated.

Then I turned down an aisle and encountered my wise moment. Another shopper and I began talking about our pets when we saw the cat and dog food in each other's cart. Like me he also had taken in strays when he could not find their owner.

After we chatted for several minutes, we had to get on with our shopping and reluctantly said our goodbyes and nice talking with yous. Then he surprised me as I began to move on. "You know," he said, "not everyone is like we are. Many people wouldn't have bothered with these pets. But you probably saved the lives of five animals by taking them in. Bless you for that. Have a great afternoon." Surprised, I thanked him and then he walked away.

I mentioned how I try to encourage employees by telling them that what they do is appreciated. But here a stranger was telling me the same thing because we both were animal lovers. To be thanked by a stranger in the middle of a grocery store, a man I simply happened to make an effort to say hello to, had me walking on clouds as I left. I suppose for that encounter, as Mr. Bacon said, I created an opportunity, an opportunity to spend time with another person who shares the same compassion toward strays as I do.

As a result, my spirit was uplifted and my heart filled with a sense of camaraderie. I am certain that the positive feeling I now have, and a stranger's kind words, will be recalled every time I look into the eyes of Brownie, Kitty and Little Thang, my three cats, and Baby the Boxer and Thumper the Shepard, the two dogs.

Because they all get along well with each other is, I believe, a testament to their knowledge that they have found a safe harbor where someone cares for them and feeds them and brushes and plays with them.

In turn, today I found a safe harbor where a stranger cared about me and what I have done with these homeless pets. That may have been an isolated wise moment for me at the grocery store, but it is one I will not soon forget.

And now I pass along what was unexpectedly offered to me today: Bless all of you for your support and encouragement. You may never know how much it means. Have a great weekend.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLAPOCOMO 8/22/2009 3:53PM

    Most excellent Lou!! As always, you put a smile on my face and warmness in my heart.

I also realized there are helpful people in the world - today, while trying to mail a few packages, a woman was in the post office and was offering advice. I was taken aback - when I lived in Jacksonville, people wouldn't help let alone offer a kind word or two. Here in Brooksville, it's quite different and it puts a smile on my face.

Thanks for making this Saturday a good God blessed day.

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2BSALLYB 8/22/2009 12:39AM

    Ditto, bless you for all your words of encouragement and support. And what a good guy you are, taking in all the little animal orphans...

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YATMAMA 8/21/2009 6:59PM

    I just love that you had this experience. Thank you so much for sharing it.

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SPARKLOVE 8/21/2009 6:47PM

    emoticon

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FITKAT2010 8/21/2009 5:26PM

    This was an incredible gift today. I was looking for something "special" and here it was!

Thank you.

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LAURIES_PLACE 8/21/2009 5:13PM

  Lou,

You ARE a wise man, a compassionate man, and I am glad this gift from a stranger was given to you today. Look at how much you give to all of us...your wonderful blog entries, your guidance as our faithful leader, your encouragement. I like you, Lou. You are on my friends list because I like you.

Have a blessed Sabbath!

laurie

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TEDYBEAR2838 8/21/2009 4:45PM

    emoticon you done good!

Keep up the good work. AND keep on Sparking!

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CINDYHOUGHTON 8/21/2009 4:28PM

    I have moments like that as well. Once a couple left story on my windshield at Walmart when they saw my like minded bumper stickers. The story so uplifted me that I sent it several others hoping they would enjoy it as much as I did. We have countless opportunities to impact others lives every day. Some for good some for bad. I hope to tilt the balance on the side of good. Hope tomorrow is just as good for you!

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#52: Point of Reference

Thursday, August 20, 2009

What is your point of reference regarding your journey to fitness?

I read another member's blog this morning where she explained that she was at the weight she had set as a goal for herself. Now, she wants to lose more and realized that she had set a goal that was too easily reached. Her point of reference changed.

An old joke tells of a car race between representatives from California and those from New York. The car from New York finished ahead of the one from California. In the New York newspapers it was reported that New York finished first while California came in dead last. In the California newspapers it was reported that California had finished second while New York came in next to last.

It's all in the point of reference. Both versions are accurate, just framed differently.

I talked via email with another member who had lost three pounds. The way she described her weight loss was to say, "Two more pounds and I will have lost five pounds altogether."

Or take the employee who began working with his company in August. In September, when he was asked how long he had worked for the firm, he answered, "Next August will be one year."

Both of these people are correct. It's their point of reference that's different than that of most people.

The next time you feel as if you are not progressing, try changing your point of view and see if you feel better, perhaps more focused and happier with yourself and your situation. If you have lost 2 pounds but want to lose a total of 10, say to yourself and others, "Eight more pounds and I will have lost 10 pounds altogether."

By looking ahead we will lead our thoughts from what has passed -- the two pounds, for example -- to the future. By changing our point of reference we may see the road of our journey more clearly and with a more positive outlook.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITKAT2010 8/21/2009 5:29PM

    Very true, and very wise.

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YATMAMA 8/20/2009 5:33PM

    Awesome blog. And, Little-H, excellent scripture!

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SPARKLOVE 8/20/2009 2:26PM

    When we can't change a situation , it often does help just to change our perspective. Joy

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3CATSLEP 8/20/2009 9:52AM

    Thank you, Lou! I am once again inspired. Have a great day! emoticon

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JOYATLAST 8/20/2009 9:30AM

    I'm practicing that attitude with my negative memories. By changing the reference point, I'm redefining my future. It's no longer "something bad happened to me". It has become "God lead me and walked with me through a tough thing. In the end, I know God better.

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TEDYBEAR2838 8/20/2009 8:38AM

    What are great idea! I'm sure it will help Lots of folks to change their point of reference. I know it has helped me. It's no longer looking at the large amount of weight to lose, it's one baby, do-able step, at a time.

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JUST4ME927 8/20/2009 8:28AM

    Perspective is powerful. Thank you for reminding me of that!

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LITTLE-H 8/20/2009 7:16AM

    Good encouragement. As I wrote this morning, I started out depressed at not being perfect yesterday, but once I looked at all the successes I had, I feel pretty good and am ready to start fresh again today.

"This I recall to my mind,
Therefore have hope.
The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease.
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness."

~ Lamentations 3:21-23

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DECAROLIFIC 8/20/2009 5:11AM

    Today, every time I feel negative about myself, or down about something I have not accomplished, I will change the point of reference. Thanks for this.

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#51: No More

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

There are two words, among many, I believe we should eliminate from our conversations and our writings -- "only" and "just."

Think about how limiting these two words are. "I only walked for half an hour." "I'm just a bookkeeper."

We need to learn to show more pride in what we do. Consider adding "proud" to your vocabulary instead. "I'm proud that I walked for half an hour." "I'm proud to be a bookkeeper."

Which do you say of your young daughter acting in a play? "She's just the tree." Or, "I'm proud of her. She's the tree."

Or how about your son who made the school's football team. "He's only a backup fullback." Or, "I'm proud of him for making the team as the backup fullback."

Whatever we describe and how we describe it to ourselves and others reflects either our negative or our positive attitude. We want to eliminate as many negatives from our thinking as possible and add in more positives.

"I have just worked here for three months" or "I'm proud to say I've worked here for three months."

"I've only got two children" or "I'm proud to say I have a daughter and a son."

"I've only lost three pounds" or "I'm proud that I've lost three pounds."

I believe we can bring more positive forces into our lives by simply eliminating the use of "only" and "just." It may take some time to become conscious of using these self-limiting words but eventually we can if we remember to use the word "proud" instead.

I'm proud to say I am going to work to delete these words from my thinking. Will you join me?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMDARLENE 8/19/2009 9:52PM

   

This might take a little practice, but I'll begin right now....
I'm proud to say I'm going to do my best to eliminate "just" and "only" from my vocabulary.
Wow, that didn't even hurt! lol love, Darlene

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3CATSLEP 8/19/2009 8:32PM

    I'm proud of you, Lou! emoticon

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YATMAMA 8/19/2009 7:28PM

    True, true!!

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TEDYBEAR2838 8/19/2009 2:06PM

    emoticon Post. A very good lesson in life!

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SUGIRL06 8/19/2009 1:05PM

    What a great post! I don't think you really need to eliminate those words. When you are thinking something negative, you have to reword it to be positive! I use only and just to motivate me. "I only have 5 minutes left to run. I can do it!" vs. "I already ran 20 minutes. I'm too tired for 5 more." You are right, "only" and "just" make things seem trivial, so use them in a way that makes you keep going! "I just have to do 10 more push ups and I'm done weight training today!" Great idea. And what a great way to pay attention to what you are telling yourself!
~Ang
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BELLAPOCOMO 8/19/2009 12:44PM

    I hadn't thought about this until your blog. I use them to get me doing more - not because I don't count what I do as important, but to keep myself going.

Thanks for the ideas!

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PATSDIARY 8/19/2009 10:44AM

    What a great inspiration this morning! I think that you are right - I find myself saying those words frequently. I am going to work on this, and I will improve! Thanks for your thoughts!

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MAMONTOYA 8/19/2009 8:28AM

    Great blog! It is so true how simple words can really affect what we do, how we think or how we process. I am on board with you. Every amount of effort should be acknowledged and felt. We need to give ourselves more credit than we do. Negative talk can turn into negative behavior and negative outcomes. We DO need to be PROUD as we become healthier, happier and content.
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#50: Do You Like Yourself?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Recently I heard a conversation between two young teenage girls. One was trying to convey how she had felt about something that had happened. "And, I was like...So she goes, like...And then I was like..." I'm sure you've heard similar remarks.

While it may appear that the art of conversation might be, like, you know, like waning, her comments did get me thinking about the word 'like."And what I wondered was: If I wasn't me, would I like myself?

Would I?

I think I would. I consider myself a person of some intellect with a well-developed sense of humor, a curiosity about many things, kind, considerate, polite and, well...you get the picture. I think I'm an OK person. Just as you probably think of yourself.

Then I began thinking of my closest friends, people I've known for years, and wondered why I enjoy their company. Actually, why I crave our time together and the cards and emails and telephone calls we exchange.

I think it's because we share the same personality traits. I'm comfortable with myself and I'm comfortable with them. This doesn't imply that we don't enjoy being with people whose lives are different than ours. Just that we feel more comfortable with known factors and routines. And, our friends are known commodities. We know what they are like and how they will react. Which is pretty much the way we would react to something.

What does this have to do with our attempts at weight loss and better health?

I wonder if we are ready for the new person we will become when we reach our final goals. We'll be different physically, often drastically. We will also be different mentally and emotionally. We will be more confident and self-assured and likely more outgoing. We may think we won't change, but don't we already feel different about ourselves when we lose just a few pounds?

The point I'm trying to make, perhaps clumsily, is if we do not like ourselves now how will we enjoy the new us when we reach our final weight loss goal? How can we expect others to like and respect us in the future, if we don't like ourselves now?

The self-respect we will need starts now, today. Believe in yourself, now. Have faith in yourself, now. Have respect for yourself, now.

And ask yourself one question: Am I someone I would like as a friend if I wasn't me?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YATMAMA 8/18/2009 11:44PM

    Not so clumsily said at all. I would like me as a friend. I like you as a friend, for sure, and probably for many of the same reasons. I had a client some years back who quickly became a friend, as well. She had a saying about me that she used concerning people she liked instantly, people she bonded with from the start. She'd say, "You are definitely from my village." I thought that was a pretty profound statement.

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3CATSLEP 8/18/2009 10:04PM

    I like me. I like you. And I love Sparkpeople and all my Spark Friends!!! emoticon

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SCORPION1352 8/18/2009 2:02PM

    Just thought I would say I like me, I think I am a good person to be with and fun person to be around. I feel and believe that "If you don't like me, you don't know what good thing your missing out on."

Of cousre that's just me. I don't feel I will be any different later down the road then I am now. I take positive with me where ever I go.

Loosing 1 pound makes me so excited I am looking forward to looking in the mirror in a year or so and seeing the new old me. I feel I will be just the same person but a lot healither.


marty emoticon

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#49: Interactive, Not Inactive

Monday, August 17, 2009

We are all on similar pathways to a common destination of fitness, better health and weight loss. Along the way, at some point, we will need inspiration, understanding, and encouragement.

These things will not magically seek us out. We must be active in searching for help when we feel defeated. We need to ask for help, not simply go along and expect caring support to simply appear when we need it.

Sure, we can read articles, and those are a great aid, but there is something more effective than impersonal articles -- other people sharing the road to our common destination.

SparkPeople is an interactive site with members who are ready and willing to offer inspiration, understanding and encouragement to others on a daily basis.

The caveat? We must ask them for help. We must ask them for their thoughts on overcoming problems we face with our fitness routines and with our lives. Sometimes, we must ask them for prayers.

Seeing before and after photos of someone who has lost 150 pounds, or reading a member's blog or post relating how they can now bend over and play with their children, is inspiring.

Knowing that we are not alone, that others are facing the same challenges, is encouraging and lessens our anxiety. Being inactive, though, serves no purpose. Being inactive does not allow us to pass along words of encouragement to someone who feels hopelessness or loneliness, someone who feels as if they will never reach their goals.

Being interactive, however, will energize us and make us feel part of a group that spans the world. Being interactive will make us new friends and let us learn of exciting people, cities and countries. Being interactive will show us that we are not alone on our journeys. Being interactive will help us gain speed toward our destination.

We should join groups, become active in their huddles, reply to posts and begin new ones on topics that interest us and reply to members' blogs when they move us and when the writer needs our encouragement and support.

It has been said that no person is an island. We do not live in isolation. We need to interact with others for our health and well-being.

We need not feel alone and defeated. Not when there is a world of people to offer us the inspiration, understanding and encouragement we all need from time to time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3CATSLEP 8/18/2009 10:42AM

    No one could have said it better, Lou. You are truly an inspiration to our team.

Love ya,
Laura emoticon

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IAMDARLENE 8/17/2009 11:54PM

   

This is excellent, and it's inspiring too!

There was a time I did feel alone and defeated. That was many years ago.
The Lord has brought our family through more than I can say.

God bless you Lou. You're doing a good job! love, Darlene


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TEDYBEAR2838 8/17/2009 9:10PM

    Definitely a blessing to read your blog today.
You truely understand what it takes to reach goal.
SEE YOU THERE!

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YATMAMA 8/17/2009 3:29PM

    Excellent points, my friend. This is the way God put it, echoing what you are saying:

Eph 4:16 He makes the whole body fit together and unites it through the support of every joint. As each and every part does its job, he makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (GWV)

We are all part of the body of Christ and need each other!


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SPARKLOVE 8/17/2009 12:33PM

    So true Lou!
I enjoy reading all your blogs.
Thank You for being you.


Joy


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