Thursday, April 07, 2011
Typed this up last night, but didn't post it. I guess I wanted to think about it a little bit. Here it is with only minor alterations. It's an odd one...
It's late, I should be doing school work, or house work or something work, other than Spark work, but here I am typing away (and watching old Glee episodes-giggle).
Today wasn't a much of anything type of day. The kids have been all off of school so my house was in some serious need of attention today so I did some of that. We got a surprise rain shower today. It made everything smell fresh and clean, so I liked that.
Tonight was baseball. My son, 8 years old, loves baseball. Quite the natural catcher. Shows some talent and might make it all the way through college if we are lucky and he decides he wants to work that hard. This was just our third game today and we've had a rough season.
My husband is an assistant coach. I insisted on it. For two seasons before this he was head coach and I, by default, was team mom. I did NOT want to be team mom this year and I did NOT want to have to keep score. Well, due to circumstances beyond my control I only got half my wish. I am score keeper. Ugh. I'm not good at it and my girls keep me distracted enough that I miss lots of things I'm not supposed to miss. Fortunately, it is little league so it doesn't make a huge difference-lol!!
The man who was supposed to be head coach is no longer our head coach due to circumstances that were well within his control, but the Little League folks kind of frown on coaches who get themselves thrown in jail. This man's wife was supposed to be team mom and they are the "adults" for two of our players. So, we've already been trying to deal with the problems of being down a coach AND a team mom, and for two out of 3 games down 2 players. The team mom was the easy one to fix, another mom volunteered and is doing a great job. Dads who didn't feel like they could make the coaching commitment are stepping up and assisting, but it can only be temporary until we get a couple more authorized coaches. Rules say the "coaches" must be in full uniform and we've been up against really nice teams who have let that rule slide so that dads can walk on the field and help my husband with our team. For the most part our team parents have been hugely supportive and really fun to work with. For the most part...
Unfortunately, there is this one parent. I guess we are extremely blessed that we have only one-I've seen teams where every parent is like this woman, or worse the coaches. She is driven to win. Unfortunately, that's not our team. We are bad, very bad and getting better every game. BUT, the kids have fun and most of the parents feel that this is what is most important. Thank GOODNESS.
Last game, my husband and our manager, a woman who played softball herself, but has never done anything related to little league, were doing their best, their absolute best with a team that wasn't ready to play and who had just recently found out they were losing their coach and we were losing, but doing very well. We held the score to within one run until the last inning. The inning where our manager walked off the field in tears because this one parent wouldn't shut her ugly mouth. I couldn't hear everything she was saying because I was too far away, but Heidi (the manager) could hear her and had had enough. In the end Heidi came back determined to keep with it and help the kids. Today she was sick and she and her son missed the game so thankfully she didn't experience today's episode of the Ugly Mother Show.
Now, don't get me wrong, I can be a vicious mama bear and have said more than one thing I really shouldn't have to someone who got in my way, but this is not protective parent ugly, this is just ugly, ugly. She wasn't happy about the position her son was playing and she wasn't happy we were losing and she wasn't happy about just about anything related to the game. She criticized players and she criticized the coach. Then, then, uggh, then, in the middle of a children's baseball game we hear "M.....F...." spew forth from this woman's mouth. I didn't hear the context because I was trying to ignore her as much as possible, but I heard those words and my eyes got wide and I'm sure my ears turned red in embarrassment for her. I didn't know what to do. The mother next to me and I looked at each other and she said "glad my kids didn't hear that" and I agreed.
Honestly, I didn't know what to do next. I could get in her face and yell at her. I could tell her to shut up. I could do a lot of things, all of which just didn't seem right. So, I tattled to the coach (my husband). He came out and told her she got 1 warning to watch her language and went back to coaching. Did this stop her? NO!! It stopped the language problem, but not her attitude. Her attitude got worse. She continued to complain about the position her son was playing and yelling that her kid was better than another kid and she even went and told my husband to put her son at 2nd base. In the middle of another tirade I had finally had enough. I looked right at her and said, as calmly as possible..."You know what? This is about the kids having fun. Every kid has to rotate positions, maybe your kid will play that base at some point, but we really need you to have a better attitude, it's about the kids having fun."
I was scared!! Really, this is the kind of woman I thought would come punch me in the face!! She kept on with the argument and said she would demand that they switch her kid's team and I repeated that she just needed to have a better attitude and it was about the kids having fun. She then decided to attack the job the coach was doing so I rebutted with "he's a volunteer, this isn't his job". Oddly enough, she shut up. She kept that trap shut for the rest of the game. Every word from my mouth was said as calmly as possible. Firmly, but calmly, like I was talking to a child who was just learning the rules after breaking one unknowingly. Did she learn her lesson? Probably not. Am I going to have to talk to her again? Probably.
So, I could have sat there and continued to simply ignore her...lots of parents were. I could have kept my mouth shut when she uttered foul language at a children's game. I could have done nothing. I could have returned ugly with ugly, but I calmly rebutted her behavior and tried to show her that she wasn't setting a good example.
Ugly happens all the time...way too often in fact. You have to pick your battles or life would be one constant battle. Today I drew a line in the sand..
So, now I am thinking about battle lines. I don't enjoy drawing battle lines, it isn't much fun, but what other battle lines do I need to draw and haven't? Are there fitness battle lines I need to draw? With myself? ( lol) Imaginary conversation in my mind: "Hey, if you don't get up and do some cardio right now things are going to get ugly." "Yeah, whatcha gonna do about it?" "Oh, you wanna see what I'm gonna do about it? I'll show you!" Mental brawl ensues. Maybe I should be as civil with myself as I am was with ugly baseball mom-lol!! Have you been drawing fitness battle lines? Are you civil with yourself? I hope so. We all deserve to treat ourselves with respect and kindness even when we need to be firm and put ourselves in our places (huh...oh well too tired to analyze that sentence-lol).
Update: even after not nearly enough sleep I drew a battle line and forced my tush to go for a short run this a.m., now I need to draw another battle line and wrestle the t.v. away from the kids so I can do the strength video I planned on doing-lol! Okay, off to see the wizard (okay, don't know where that came from-lol). Hope you all have a great day :).
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Fill in the blank everyone :). I really want to know.
Today I was...Proactive!!
Some time ago now my husband and I rearranged some furniture which resulted in us moving some things around in our bedroom. One of the things that moved was our alarm clock. It moved from my side of the bed to his. Today I moved it back. I am not getting up the way I need to and part of that is that my loving husband shuts off the alarm if I am not up after the first couple beeps. Well, cock-a-doodle-doos, since we have it set on rooster-lol!! He'll get me up if I am meeting someone, but otherwise I get to sleep. Yay sleep! Boo not getting morning exercise-lol!!
So, today I was proactive...how about you?
Monday, April 04, 2011
I must be quick or the Butternut Squash rolls I am planning for dinner will not be done, but I wanted to get these thoughts down quickly before I forget or the muse driving me moves on :).
Today I've been reading some blogs here and there, mostly on spark, one by a sparker off-site and I've learned somethings. Somethings were reminders of things that I've thought about/discussed with others and some were an old thought made new, and another was a new twist on an old experience. As I read each of these blogs I thought "that is something I need to/should do" or "that's something I need to remember". Then I started thinking about how we really are here to learn from each other and why not set these three things as my "goals" for the time being.
Pinkcoconut wrote about her experience volunteering at a race. This is an idea, that has been popping up in conversation and reading quite a bit lately. It's one of those things that has been rattling around in the back of my brain. I even had a race in mind for my volunteering efforts. It is later this year, it is a mud run (which I think would be a blast to volunteer at), and they offer their volunteers some swag to make it worthwhile (not a reason behind volunteering, but a nice gesture that makes it a bit more interesting). I looked up the website today and found the e-mail to contact for volunteering. I haven't written yet. Want to see if anybody wants to volunteer with me so that it will be that much more fun. That way when I e-mail I can include all the info. But, I stand (actually I'm sitting on my bed, but you understand right?) before you today and pledge that I WILL contact the race organizers on or before Friday about volunteering for the race!! If not this race I will do my best to find another race to volunteer at.
Why volunteering is important and something I value as something I learned from other sparkers? I've run several races now and there are always volunteers out there helping to make it a better experience for me. They hand out water, slice oranges, snip off timing chips, hand out medals. Their experience is probably not always the positive experience it should be, but they are out there doing their best to make my race great. It is a good thing to give some of that back to other runners. It is good karma. It is polite. It is fun. It is right. So, I will keep you updated :).
Endurovet wrote about her personal 10% challenge. How many of us have seen the reports-even a 10% loss in weight can help you be healthier? Well, it's true. Here is a quick link to a decent article if interested... www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/inde
x_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=41231&sc=3002 . 10% sounds pretty do-able.
Why the 10% idea was important to me? Well, let's put it this way...I have A LOT of weight to lose. A LOT!! More than A LOT!! More than a hundred pounds. Looking at 100 pounds is kind of daunting. But what if I broke it down to 10%? Right now my goal would be 28 pounds (rounded off). Wow!! That sounds so much more do-able than 100!! 28 pounds. That's all I have to lose over the next whatever period of time I set. If I say I will lose that 10% by the Disneyland 5K then that is only, like, 7 pounds a month. That sounds do-able too. I'm not focused on the other 75 or so pounds in my big goal. You could say that I am finally learning the lesson of how to eat an elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Look at the elephant as a whole and you will become discouraged, overwhelmed, maybe even frustrated. One bite at a time, tackle that elephant one tiny piece at a time and you are more likely to finish it. The elephant, of course is metaphorical, I am not advocating that anyone eat an actual elephant, just to be clear-lol! So, I am doing an experiment. My ticker is being reset for a goal of 28 pounds. Let's see if it works. 28 pounds is enough to make my current wardrobe more comfortable and get me started on the next size down in any case.
Karvy wrote on her Chunky Runner blog about the fear of being last. Okay, so the fear of being the last runner in a race is one I've already faced and accomplished-lol!! I was actually the last person across a finish line in my 10K and the next to last person across in my half. So maybe being the last runner is not a part of my boogieman.
So, what am I learning from this blog? Maybe I'm not intimidated by being the last runner, but what about the last person to reach goal? The last person to lose the weight? The last person to eat right? The last anything else? Hmmm, might be on to something here. Last. My youngest hates being last. She is completely aware that she was the last to join the family and she hates last. But, I don't see last...I see a part of the group. Glad to have her along on this journey even if she was last. One thing mentioned in the blog is a "formula": DFL>DNF>DNS. These letters can be a bit confusing, just as with any formula, the translation=Finished last is greater than did not finish is greater than did not start. There is truth in these words. If you start and you stick with ANYTHING until you finish you have done a better job than those who never started and even those who started and gave up.
Are you still here? Are you still struggling to get to a goal? Are you still trying? Now think about the friends you have who are no longer around. I'm not talking about those who, like me, might drop off the planet for a month or even a couple of months. I have a few people on my list who's pages are gone. Their accounts are closed. They are no longer trying. And some who still have a page, but haven't been active for a LONG time. Hopefully they will come back, hopefully they are still out there on the course and struggling along and will hit a check point soon so that we know they are still in the race. To all of you who are still here, you are in the race, you are going, you are making progress. It might seem insignificant to you. It might seem like you are the slowest person out there. But, you are in the race and THAT is the important thing. So, this lesson translates into the goal of staying in the race. Everyday I will do SOMETHING to stay in the race. Even if it is "just" a yoga session. Something will keep me from dropping out of the race.
When I ran my half there were several points were I just wanted to sit down. I knew that eventually someone would come for me. I wouldn't be left out there forever, but I really just wanted to stop. It was too hard, it was too hot, it was too windy, it was too far, I was too thirsty. But, I didn't stop. I kept putting one foot in front of the other and kept moving. It took me more than 4 hours to get those feet to move themselves across the finish line, but they finished. I am going to finish this race no matter how long it takes. I'm in it. If, at any point during that race, I had stopped my feet from moving I'm sure I would not have finished. So, I will do SOMETHING to keep "my feet moving". Even if it is checking in here or making a healthy food choice I will keep moving.
So, there are so many things out there to learn from. There are lessons all around :). I found three today and I'm sure I will find more. Maybe I'll make it a "thing" to find and share the lessons. Maybe I'll base more goals on the lessons I find. I think I will work harder at finding those lessons in any case :).
Sunday, April 03, 2011
I've been "missing" again and it shows in my real life.
I've gotta get a schedule down and stick to it.
I'm just overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with it.
Life has been so busy and I've done exactly the wrong thing and let the things I need to do for me be the last things on my list and the first to drop off the schedule.
I could tell you all the busy things I've been doing, but I'm also certain that there are many, many people out there as busy or even busier who ARE doing the right things.
It's just been easier to go on as I've been, but my "business" is starting to result in pants I don't want to wear because even though I can get them on, they aren't exactly comfortable.
So here is what it boils down to...I am weak, very, very weak. When the going gets tough I sometimes give up. I know I can power through and come out stronger, because I have, but other times, it just seems so much easier to give up. Well, I'm not giving up!!!
I need to plan my schedule better and get better sleep. I need to make sure I take my thyroid meds EVERY DAY or I get tired. I need to plan my PTA, kids' school and sports activities, my school work, my house work and my cooking, shopping, et al AROUND my personal sports activities not THROUGH or IN PLACE of my fitness work.
My son's baseball season started and as a part of practice he had to run 400 yards max. and this upset him, he was too tired, had run too hard at p.e. during school, he had a million excuses why he "couldn't" run 400 yards. He is starting C25K with me tomorrow-1 or 2 times a week for him instead of 3 times to start. I've already done the program, but I think doing it with him will be good for both of us.
My mud run posted the route and challenges of the course. I am psyched about this race EXCEPT..there are pipes. I don't know if I'll be able to crawl through them. I hate confined spaces like pipes. I need to steel my mind and get over some of my issues.
A couple of months ago someone posted on a thread something to the effect of "it doesn't matter what diet I follow. When you have hypothyroidism there is nothing you can do to lose weight." Like the weak-minded fool I am, I let it get to me. I have hypothyroidism and a part of me feels like this is true. It doesn't matter what I do nothing seems to work. But, also, I have found that even though it goes REALLY slowly it does go. Yep, I might have to work twice or three times as hard as someone else to make the weight go away, but it is NOT impossible. It just seems so hard sometimes. I should have shrugged off that statement or come here and discuss it with my friends, but I didn't and that was a failure on my part. One I hope not to repeat. I am banishing that demon and moving forward.
I'm still in the food rut I mentioned recently, but I've taken steps to rectify that!! Yes, I did do SOMETHING right!! At the store the other day I picked up a butternut squash, which is something I've enjoyed as an ingredient in dishes not prepared by me. In other words I like it, but have never really done anything with it personally. So, as soon as I finish here, I am going in and chopping my poor butternut squash in half and roasting in prep for turning it into Curried Butternut and Pear soup. Sounds so yummy and today is cool, cloudy, perfect for soup weather. The soup will be paired with my super yummy and vegi packed turkey pot pie so that there is something everybody will like if the soup is not as yummy as it sounds. A nice, hearty, yet somewhat healthy Sunday dinner. I'm drooling already-lol!
Tomorrow is chicken and I've looked up several recipes for delicious, yet healthy and flavorful chicken dishes to try. I've also looked up a number of new lentil dishes since I enjoy lentils as a healthy and tasty meat replacement.
I've been trying to be more adventerous in my food decisions. I am one of those people who will look at a menu and think that several things sound good, but then order the same old standby because I know I will like it. The other day we were shopping and I was STARVING!! I know bad combo. I didn't get anything to eat at Wal-mart. I passed on the boneless chicken "wings" at the Wal-Mart deli even though they are sooooo yummy, but not at all healthy. I didn't get anything at our regular grocery, because again, the choices just didn't seem that great. Last stop was Fresh and Easy, a small grocery with a focus on fresh foods. We were only there for milk since they had a great price on the hormone free milk. But, as we were going out (my poor husband toting two gallons of milk because we didn't get a cart) I stopped to look over the choices of "ready to eat" meals they had available. Several looked good, like a carne asada burrito, but what sounded and looked healthy and good was a Curry chicken with Israeli cousous. The package had a real servings worth of chicken, some yummy looking couscous mixed with some tomato and several very fresh looking mint leaves and a small container of mint dressing. I waivered, I debated. What if it wasn't as good as it looked? I knew I would like the burrito. I went with the curry chicken!! I forget the exact numbers now, but after I had scarfed down the delicious meal I looked at the bottom of the carton and was astounded by how healthy a choice I'd made, even using the mint dressing the numbers were all well within reason. It was REALLY good. I'll be grabbing that one again-lol! What the real lesson was, was that being adventerous with food can pay off in delicious new healthy choices.
Another good decision...I planted my garden and stuff is growing!! I've got tomato blossoms, I've got radish leaves poking up, I've got multiple cucumer plants poking up their first green shoots. Cilantro, chives, basil and parsley are all growing. No oregano yet, might have to replant that. Still have melons and squashes to plant, but my garden so far is doing well. I can't wait to make my first salsa using my own tomatoes (eight plants-4 varieties-lol (four romas for sauces, hopefully canned)) and cilantro. Can't wait to make my first cucumber salad from my own cucumbers (three different types were planted-lol!), can't wait to make a stir-fry with my eggplant (if it grows) and the peppers I planted (all the peppers are bell types, but multiple colors-three plants and a seeds that haven't sprouted yet). Can't wait to make a salad with my lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, radishes and cucumber ( a little feta from the store...I'm drooling again-lol). I'm trying to make better nutrition choices.
Now, I just need to make much better fitness decisions. I did run on Saturday, after a week of nothing...4 miles...2 or so running the rest at a walk...which I am actually okay with because I am still coming off ANOTHER cold and hadn't been breathing well all week, the cough still lingers, but is looser than before, so I'm happy with what I eeked out. But, in all truthfullness, despite my sickness all week I could have done more. Monday and Tuesday were the days when I really didn't feel like I could do much, I broke a sweat sweeping the kitchen. But, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday went by without even a yoga session.
I am going to start looking at my spark time as an appointment with my support group. Kind of a free WW meeting :). I think, in order to leave time for everything else I need to do, I will schedule Spark time on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I will pop in on other days as I can, but this way I have a standing appointment with everyone here and I won't feel guilty or overwhelmed by not coming by on Tuesday, Thursday or weekends.
I see better choices ahead and a really yummy soup I need to get started on :).
Hope everyone is having a great day :).
Update: The soup is Souper (haha) yummy!! The curry makes it spicy, the squash and pears give it a sweetness that I didn't anticipate. It is REALLY good. In case anybody wants to try Curried Butternut Squash and Pear soup here is a link to the recipe on Allrecipes.com: allrecipes.com/Recipe/Curried-Butter
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Okay, so obviously I ate at Sonic's today. I'll get there in a minute :).
Today was another REALLY busy day. I really need to work on this schedule thing. Got up this morning thinking I would go for a run after I got the kids off to school, bad idea, because I forgot how full today was going to be. A quick errand in the morning, then hubs had to run another quick errand leaving me with the four year old. Then I had to scoot off to the school because I volunteered to work the book fair today, Thursday and Friday. A three hour shift at the book fair wore me out. It's been awhile since I've done a "job" that required me to be on my feet for 3 hours-lol! Should have worn my pedometer to track steps :). It was fun though and my daughter's class came through while I was there so I got to give her some money and help her pick a couple books. Mostly it was just keeping an eye on the older kids, helping them find books they saw in the flyer, and helping the little first graders with prices, finding a book in their range or writing down the titles of books they liked for their wish list. Fun stuff.
While I was there I got a message that my niece needed a ride home so I agreed to get her as soon as I was done with book fair, which was when school was over. So after I got my kids it was to the car and go get niece. On the way to get her I realized it was Sonic's "happy hour", in case you aren't familiar with the chain....they have "slushies" in a bunch of flavors and every day during "happy hour" (2-4 here in Hemet) their fountain drinks and slushies are half price. I know there are alot of you thinking that having a slushie sounds absolutely crazy, but it was another GORGEOUS afternoon here and the temps were in the 70's and when I suggested the idea to my kids they jumped at it. Then, son, who must be growing again asked for a hamburger. Now, I know they fed him lunch at school, but he insisted he was hungry and when he mentioned a hamburger I realized I was FAMISHED. Yeah, realized I ate breakfast then went and did my errands and then went to book fair and never had lunch, not even a snack or bar of any sort!! Here it was now about 2:30 in the afternoon, no wonder I wanted slushies and the sound of a hamburger made me drool-lol!!
So, I get my niece and take everyone to Sonic's, getting slushies for all and forgoing my usual diet cherry lime-aid in favor of the full calorie and extra large strawberry lime-aid. Yeah, not the best choice I guess, but all logic hadn't completely flown out the window. I ordered a few hamburgers for the family and some mozzarella sticks per the request of daughter (plus I wanted to share) and then picked a grilled chicken wrap for myself.
The grilled chicken wrap is a reasonable choice for fast food. 390 calories, 14 fat grams, 39 carbs, 2 fiber. So, nothing stellar nutrition wise, but it won't "break the bank" either. So, overall, it was a waste of calories. The chicken was tougher than my shoe, seriously. I would take a bite and the chicken, instead of breaking apart where I bit it, would break apart at along the grain of the meat and I would get a huge chunk instead of the bite I tried to take. I won't be tempted again-lol!!
It has been MONTHS since we've eaten out at all and we've finally increased that a bit the last couple of weeks, but we've been very selective about the food we choose and where we go, choosing our favorite locations and meals. I've never been a huge fan of Sonic's food, their drinks yes, the food, not so much., but I let hunger get the better of me. I could have and probably should have, waited until I got home where I could have had a tuna sandwich on my favorite bread. Even with the mayo in the tuna instead of the light ranch on the wrap it would have come out lower cal and better tasting. Darn, well, it did take care of the hunger issue. :) Oh, and son devoured his hamburger while we were in the car and then ate his dad's when we got home too. Dad said it was okay. If this were a regular pattern with him I'd be worried, but he doesn't generally scarf down two burgers so I went with it. Yesterday was his birthday and it is already spring here so I think he is growning...again. This kids is eight and already to my shoulder, he will probably pass me up next year-lol!
So, lesson for the day, being REALLY, REALLY hungry and going to Sonic's are not the best combination in the world, but I still made it work, sort of. You can eat out and still fit it in the plans for the day, and if you choose locations you enjoy it will even still taste good :).
So, tomorrow is another super busy day, not sure when we are going to have dinner, so it might be another night of finding a good selection at a fast food place...son has us running ragged tomorrow. First baseball meeting of the season at 4:00, then his first cub scout meeting, then down to the church for a quick appointment and then finally home sometime around eight p.m., all that after he has a field trip for school and gets home late. Thursday is a repeat of the book fair so I'll have to make sure I put a bar or something in my bag to prevent a repeat of today's error. In there somewhere I have to fit Algebra and History reading, meals for the family, a run, strength and a yoga session. But, all this activity is better than the alternative. :)
Hopefully, I will get a breather Thursday evening :). Well, gotta scoot and go study some Algebra and drink some water. See ya all around and hopefully I'll get a chance to do some spark reading tomorrow...I miss my friends :).
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