Saturday, April 25, 2009
Tonight was "make a frozen food for dinner" night. I made frozen chimichangas. They are not the healthiest food around, but they are not too bad at only 310 calories per chimichanga. The trick is that they are small so dinner has to consist of more than one chimichanga to fill you up. It was also "eat where you are sitting" night (boy are we slackers today), so husband put my food on my plate and brought it to me. SHOCK!! He put two chimichangas on my plate!! I recoiled in horror at the 620 calories sitting on my plate. I did the right thing...I told him to take one of those puppies back-Thanks, but NO THANKS! Boy, would it have been easy to eat both of them tonight. While dinner was heating up in the oven-we were heating up in a VERY stupid argument over Darling Husband's attitude. What do I happen to be doing while we are arguing? Dishing up some M&M's for the kids. Of course, I have the perfect comfort food in my hand at the prime moment!! The only reason we even had those tempting little morsels of chocolate in the house was we promised the kids them as a reward after baseball today. They have been deprived for quite awhile and it was time for a reward. Anyways, I was sooooooo tempted to hold on to that bag and go for broke! Instead, I took out a small bowl, poured myself just 10 and got that bag away from me. Those 10 were savored and enjoyed to maximum effect, but that was all. I did not go crazy and since I have been VERY good today I could afford just 10 M&Ms. In fact, I have been so good today I think I will go enjoy some carrots and hummus or some of the fruit salad in the refrigerator. Decisions, Decisions...
Friday, April 24, 2009
Today was "library day", the day we drop Son off at school and Daughters get to go to story time. I love library day because I get to pick out a few books for myself. Today, on a whim, I picked up the biography of Alan Alda (Hawkeye Pierce on MASH). I am a huge MASH fan so I thought this would be interesting. The title of the book is "Never have your Dog Stuffed and other Things I've Learned". The title is explained in the third chapter and it is this story that I have been pondering all evening. Long story short-When Allan was a kid his dog died and he was devastated, his Dad suggested stuffing the dog. Sounded like a good idea, except dog came back from the taxidermist looking like a ferocious beast, not the family pet. He concludes with the thought that there is mental taxidermy-we all hold on to moments in our lives that should be let go. Which of my memories, experiences, etc. have been turned into ferocious beasts by my mental taxidermy and what is that doing to my life? We all have what is currently called "baggage". I know, for a fact, that some of my baggage is making me fat. I have experiences that, at the time, were like the beloved family pet-a happy, great part of my life. I also have experiences that I have stuffed and put on the mantel for no good reason. Why on earth would I choose to hold on to the "family pet" that was mean and horrible while it was "alive"-so to speak. Some totally awesome memories that help make me fat all revolve around FOOD. Making cookies with my mom, eating cookie dough from the tube, home made ice cream and root beer with my grandparents, and on and on. Time to let those memories become a part of my past. I can create new great memories that do not revolve around food or at least feature healthy food items. My happy memory of a couple of days ago-my daughter getting to first base in baseball for the first time-featured a bottle of water as the background player (thank goodness it wasn't nachos with extra cheese)!!! Which brings me to the second part of my pondering...Figuratively speaking I have to leave my shelter I have created. I have to step away from much of what I was and turn to new ideas, experiences, etc. What will I be when I leave my "cocoon"? My sister has compared herself to a butterfly. I love the image and it TOTALLY suits my sister. I have always seen the "butterfly" in my sister. I have trouble connecting the image with myself though. I could not come up with anything I could be when I left my "cocoon" until I got to this exact point in my blog and suddenly it is clear. I see myself more as a Sunflower. So I guess I need to leave my little seed casing, cast aside all the dirt in my life (that baggage that is trying to hold me back), create my root system (new ideas and memories that are nourishing instead of destructive), and reach for the sun. (I never did relate to the idea of reaching for the stars-space seems too cold and unwelcoming.) So, it seems even more fitting that I try to accomplish all this through "SPARKpeople". I am so glad this little seedling has other Sunflowers, Butterflies, Suns, Stars, and whatever else you all see yourselves as, to take this journey with-it makes it easier to even try something as difficult as leaving a nice, cozy little seed casing behind to become a beautiful sunflower.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Okay, so yesterday I was feeling terrific. I didn't feel totally back to my old self, but I felt mostly normal. I decided to skip aerobics thinking it was still a little too soon since I was still feeling a little congested. But, I had so much energy I couldn't do nothing. My house has seriously suffered during this illness so yesterday I attacked the kitchen. After 3 loads of dishes, rearranging nearly every cupboard, and washing the ceiling fan I still felt good. I got a lot done, I felt much better about the appearance of my kitchen and I was happy. This morning I was wiped out, I could barely get out of bed, my legs felt like rubber and I was the crabby pattie mommy from you know where! I think I know why my legs feel like rubber! It is not the illness (I attribute all the rest of how I feel to that), but yesterday I climbed up and down on a chair-I don't know how many times. Many of the cupboards I rearranged were high and out of my reach. I spent so much time last week recovering and doing essentially nothing that my legs forgot what it was like to really WORK! I spent alot of today resting and trying to find the energy that was oh so elusive, I would have gone straight to bed and stayed there, but my kids had a baseball game! I am the team mom and manage the dugout so I was needed! I didn't feel like it but I dragged my behind out the car and into the dugout. I would have been happy to stay there the whole time, but at the top of the 2nd inning (with all our players on the field) the 2.5 year old says "Mommy, me have to go potty". Grrrr, my legs protested the long walk ahead, but amazingly as I walked I loosened up (a little), I felt a little energy return and I was amazed at how my body responded to the "exercise". Now we are back home and I am still not feeling totally recovered, but I think I can get up and clean the dining room so that it will be clean tomorrow. It is not alot, but I know that my body is happier in motion and maybe I will feel even better tomorrow.
P.S. Daughter #1, the reluctant baseball player, made it to first base today! This was our fourth game and her first time making it to first base. (She didn't get a chance to try to make it all the way around because we reached our quota of runs on her hit) Our whole team was so excited for her. She received player of the game! I am so glad I did not miss it!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I have been such a spark slacker! It has been 9 days since I last posted a blog and I have totally ruined all my streaks. Arggg. I have been soooooo sick. The cough that had me not feeling well a couple of weeks ago didn't go away and this week actually got worse! I hate taking medicine of any sort but I finally broke down and called my doctor and got an antibiotic. Two days later I am feeling like I might actually live!! The good news is I have been getting WAY more than my daily requirement of water (water helped stall some coughing fits). I haven't felt like eating much so I have not totally destroyed my progress and I am BACK! I am definately not in shape for cardio yet, but tonight I will fit in a little strength training and will be ready to start back with cardio on Monday. So glad to be back!
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