 
 
 
Sleep StruggleSunday, April 14, 2013
Most challenging was having an unstructured day and ending up spending NEARLY ALL of it in bed AGAIN.. Really, if I can''t get up and go, so many other things seem pointless because with sleeping, nothing else constructive is going to happen in that time. In some AA-related things I came across (not an alcoholic, just a fan of the 12 step, moderate lifestyle) they talk about knowing the will of God and making it simple based on things known. Earth-shattering and simple as it is, for an alcoholic God''s will is that they be sober.. Its something that can be inferred or assumed as a basic will. For me, Gods will might be that I stay awake. Obviously I can''t stay awake 24/7 but beyond the 8-10 hrs a night.. that I be awake, because I can''t do anything, work on myself, work for others, work on my goals and dreams, if I am sleeping the time away. 
|
4EVERNESS
4/14/2013 9:04PM
 |
 |
So, we find all the reasons to fight depression, that heavy thing weighting you down from achieving, achieving your goals, your dreams. They may not be what they were, so make new, make it happen. You have the capacity, propensity, potential to be phenomenal..Yes, you could be one of the most phenomenal sleepers, but is that what you want to be remembered for? You can do this. You will do this. You are worth it, or I wouldn't waste my time! AA makes some good points..but they also believe in letting someone hit rock bottom. Then go through humiliation to bring themselves back up (as if they hadn't already humiliated themselves enough). My argument is analogous to a house. If a roof is leaking, do you work quickly to fix that leak, or do you wait until it has crumbled to its very foundations and have to rebuild completely?! The rock bottom and back up again, also relies on acceptance into a group, and a buddy system. Now like some people with churches, that acceptance is all well and good, but when it starts to wane, they lose interest, and start 'backsliding' only to start this vicious circular codependency all over again of self abuse. Oh the prodigal anything, feted for returning...needing that surge of popularity and acceptance..only to do it all over again. Find out what gets you there to begin with..what twists in thinking.. See if your neighbor will jump rope with you? fun? LOL or something....get creative n silly. Have a blast! Comment edited on: 4/27/2013 6:59:50 PM Report Inappropriate Comment |
The next part of this exercise has me deciding what my future self would tell me at this moment if she was to reach back into the past and give me a phone call.
What I would tell myself at this point is, life requires that you get more independent and creative. These are scary things, but completely accomplishable and doable, and your life will be so much the richer for it. Sure getting a car is a scary, big expense, but the wheels will do so much for your life. Forrest, Nan, other friends, and your parents aren't going to be around forever. If you want to maintain your quality of life you are going to have to get creative. Being independent also prevents you from being at someone's mercy that requires large amounts of payment or who feels used by your needs.
It is okay to stand up for yourself and for having healthy relationships or none. No amount of afterthoughts and warm fuzzies make the occasional threat to yourself or your partner okay. It is alright to stand up for and to look for positive relationships. It is alright to let go of those relationships when they quit being healthy or positive.
You will find friends in your area if you work really hard at it. You will find people with your values and your beliefs and they will value you. Sick friendships are not worth the drain they cause spiritually, mentally, and the physical toll the stress takes on you. They are worse than none. Always look for soulmates in everything you do and everywhere you go. Remember that some people are gifted to you for a time and then you have to let them go on to another phase in their life. For all concerned. It does no good to let others treat you or your other half badly and it teaches them that bad manners are okay to use with other people as well.
I would tell myself, regardless of how many friends I have, to keep up the good work with the diet and exercise and healthy living. I would say it is worth it to keep up your appearance and to go on and make the best out of every moment. I would tell myself to take extra care of your other half. For people that understand you that well, there is only one granted you in a lifetime, and he is yours. Respect him, nurture him, and do as much to support his health as you can, because you only get one.
I would say that health is worth the effort of calorie restriction and extra exercise. I would say that I treasure each additional day I can spend with my family. I would say that my early effort to reduce my weight has resulted in me being able to use my joints longer without restrictions and difficulty in movement. I enjoy being able to eat freshly made entrees and salads made from scratch and the tastes of new foods that I've only learned about making through the changes I've experienced in my diet over the 10 years, and I would tell myself so.
I would enjoy dancing and moving swiftly. I would tell myself that I enjoy being attractive to my partner, even if religiously we are merely affectionate to each other instead of being sexually engaged. I would tell myself that it is worth it, to see the smile on his face when I come up with a new outfit or look or perfume that I like.
I would tell myself that the expense of a gym was worth it. As soon as I am able to save up and be consistent attending a place to go for it. I enjoy the treadmill, the machines, the balance ball, the kickboxing, the pool.. everything but the elliptical.. and even that is becoming more tolerable as time goes on. I enjoy packing my gym bag and looking for gently used exercise clothing at Goodwill, even though I could fit a normal store's sizes now.
Member Comments About This Blog Post:|
JOHGLO2011
4/8/2013 10:10AM
|
 |
What a wonderful blog! Keep talking to yourself like that and you can only find success in your journey! Good luck and God bless!
Report Inappropriate Comment |
love.I totally see an awesome difference.Well done to you.
