As much as I love working out and working toward my goals. Some days it feels harder than others to feel exited about seeing progress.
Life sometimes make things seem harder than it has to be.
Particularly family drama. Unnecessary drama. I don't want to go into details. It just seems like some people just need to bring down as many people around them as they can....Very difficult to ignore when they put you in the middle of it too!
I am days away from the weigh in and progress pictures I was so exited about last week. I do not want to lose my momentum. Just need to stay focused and control what I can with my self right now!
Life's downs really help us appreciate the ups so much more.
I am having a great week. Especially in comparison to last week for sure! Way better in every way. Especially emotionally leading to feeling more in control of my food choices.
I was in a really dark place starting out the week with having a huge fight with hubby Sunday night then the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with working through the issues AND the problems my boy was having at school.
It has not been the first horrible week in my life. That is for sure. I have crazy things happen to me as every one else does at one point or another. Even though some times I feel things happen to me a little more often than others but I try not to think this way and just focus on learning from things and focusing on as many positives as I can every day.
Next week I will be having hopefully my last day in court to straighten out the mess with my name and the woman who filed a domestic violence incident that led to me getting my drivers licence almost taken away when I really did nothing. Got pulled over for break lights being out. But really they weren't. I was probably driving so slow right before turning that the cop behind me assumed my lights where out when I turned with out breaking... Any way glad this will be completely behind me and I will hopefully get the money back that I had to pay to avoid more fees in getting my licence back!
So over all since starting back here more seriously with spark in January my main goal has and still is to get my flat tummy back.
First I wanted to get back down to 110. Since most of my life including within months of having my boys my weight has been between 103-110 it is just what I am use to seeing and what feels normal to me. Right before my last pregnancy I was 108.
After having him I was down to 112 by about 3 months so basically back to normal due to the fact that I was again nursing. So I was fine and wearing most of my clothes comfortably.
Until I started losing control feeling extremely overwhelmed with having 3 boys feel like I suddenly had way more kids than I did with the two! And way more financial problems than ever before due to the fact that a year before I had closed down a family business going from two incomes to one then suddenly, none! Plus having a house under construction with no money to do anything.
Not to mention adding no sleep most nights. I was just going crazy. Needing more sugar just to stay awake led to over all a lot of bad habits with high stress levels I just started gaining.
I was still working out. As much as I could to my normal amounts when I got enough sleep to function. If not I would just do lighter workouts. Throughout the year I just kept gaining and losing a little then gaining more. Most of the time I was just surviving and getting by with my busy life unhappy about the way my clothes fit. And frustrated with everything feeling mentally out of control as well. In many ways I was in denial about my weight gain since it just has never been something I focused on (I now lucky me).
I did however focus on gaining muscle since I always had supper skinny legs that I just did not like due to the fact that people always where nice enough to point them out! Yep in school too. Kids just have to pick on people for something don't they.
Anyway this is due to the fact that I had to wear leg braces as a kid. They left me with knee pain that kept me from being active enough to develop enough muscles as a kid normally would.
So I made it my main focus to gain as much muscle as I could once I was old enough to understand that I could change my body. For the last ten years approximately I have fluctuated by body mass between 80-89 pounds. Some times getting over 90 but I struggled to keep it up. (most likely due to the fact that I enjoy running. It is the best stress release!)
Beginning this year I got determined to switch things around even though I constantly still struggle to get enough sleep. I think just the fact that we decided to not have any more kids helped me re focus on finally gaining the muscle I wanted to see on my body without the interruption of another pregnancy!
My main goal has been to add about 10 pounds of lean mass to my body. And of course get my flat tummy back so that I could feel comfortable in clothes again the way I use to. Mainly get my body fat around my what my average has been 16-18%.
All these little numbers might sound obsessive but I am small and fat shows on small people quicker than someone who is average height or taller. Plus I gain all my weight in my middle. Witch is very uncomfortable and hard to ignore!
Any way so I started out the year at 120 wanted to get down to 110. Started losing muscle so I stopped cutting calories so drastically after getting as close as 112. Did that in three weeks of keeping my calories under 2000 as low as 1400 a few days in there. Then of course ended up binging since my normal calorie range is always 2500-3000 a day. So in a few days I got right back up to 117. This was all in Jan.
Since then I have been trying different things. Had lots of up and downs. Last month my weight was fluctuating between 113-116. Then since I stopped tracking all my food I went to fluctuating between 114-118. But this was fine with me since my main goal is to gain muscle. But after the super stressful week I knew I had gained more and I was right back up to 120.
But I took my measurements and found they where not as high as they use to be even at 116 a few months ago. I did gain some fat back since my end of the month body fat check in May. I am back up to 21.8% BUT I also gained some more lean mass! I am at 94pounds in lean mass!!! I have never had that high of a number in lean mass. This is actually very exiting to me!
You can probably guess I am very happy I keep track of my measurements and body fat because if I only focused on weight. I would be extremely upset to see 120 again in June 6 months after starting at this weight!
For now my main goal for the remainder of the month will be to at least maintain this gain in lean mass and get my body fat back down to the 20.5% I was at the end of last month. Official weigh in is last day of the month for me! And I am exited to see if I can notice more changes in my pictures this month even more so than the last two!!!
Oh! The other thing that is making this week so awesome is having my little sister around again! Just love having her stay with me. We have too much fun some days lol! I really kicked her behind with my workouts this week! After her legs cramped up during a leg workout yesterday she was scared to do my outdoor workout today! Too funny watching her. She works out and does insanity with her friends back in Texas where she goes to school but just not consistently so she has gained a little and wants to lose weight. So I am not forcing her to workout! She wants to, just not so hard lol!
So I took my weights out to do the kind of workouts I like to do on nice days like today incorporating my yard! Use the stairs to run up and down in between circuits and the little hills on the side too alternating between sprinting up and then doing walking lunges up too. Ended up doing more walking lunges trips than I wanted to because the little guy was enjoying beating me up the hill lol! So he kept wanting to do more of them!
Got started as soon as he saw the mat
the little hill
taking a break
Total workout time was about an hr and 45min burned 750calories doing 15-20min circuits focusing on a couple body parts at a time then doing stairs or hill. And we had fun lol : )
Last year I was horrible on the weekends. Like really bad. And also probably in denial about how much damage I was doing to my self now that I look back at it!
This year I really started off well by eliminating a lot of those bad habits. Made some progress then slowed down. Since my body is at a "healthy" weight it is not going to keep making the progress I want to see. At least not quickly, without more change.
This that is why at the end of May I really started looking at my diet close enough to see that even though it was all clean foods I wad eating I wasn't really letting my self tap into my stored "energy". I have heard the last few pounds constantly be referred to as "vanity" pounds because we don't really need to lose them we want to lose them.
My weekends are usually my days off of working out but I am possibly even burning more calories than some weekdays. Knowing this I often end up over doing the extras that I don't really include in my diet right now during the week. But I really need to stop this mind set of just maintaining on the weekends! I want to make more progress with all the efforts I am making. Why not take advantage of the fact that I am moving non stop every weekend!? I am going to stay more focused on my eating by continuing to eat balanced meals with plenty of protein and healthy fats and not snack on everything I prepare for my family! I do not need the extras like they do lol! Yes I would be fine and just maintain since I am moving... But I need to stay focused on me and my goals more.
I am going to start saving it for when I really do crave stuff and not just eat it because it is there or because it smells good, looks good whatever the reasons i have been giving my self lol!
Last weekend I probably ate a whole loaf of bread by my self. No kidding and a lot of it was with butter too. Then come Monday I think about it and just beat my self up thinking I could have been soooo much closer to my goal! Why did I do that... Now that I am bloging about it, I really hope that I can stick to it most weekends from now on and get to that goal already !!!
Will you join me in less guilty weekends?! Because I know I am tiered of hearing my self come Monday. I just want to tell my self to shut up and accept that I chose to eat the stuff!!!
First I will start by sharing a little weird thing about me and my smoothies. I don't drink them. For some reason I just don't enjoy drinking thick drinks so I eat mine with a spoon. For this reason I end up experimenting a lot with ways to make them taste good enough to eat with as much nutritional value as possible.
I won't go into details of the benefits of each superfood because it would take too long! But if you are interested I would recommend you read David Wolfe's book Superfoods.
Here is my favorite combo. Took pictures to show the steps.
One table spoon each chia seeds and flax seeds
Then add 8oz of water
Add a serving of goji berries
Let soak at least 20min I usually do this before my workout or at night so usually I soak at least one hour before adding the rest of ingredients.
Look at how thick it gets! Just looking at this you know it will fill you up and keep you satisfied for hours.
Then I add a half cup of coconut milk only 25 calories for the unsweetened kind. Sometimes I use coconut kefir, goats milk or goat kefir. And today I used a full serving of hemp protein and half a serving of whey and one serving of rice. (But I vary what I use depending on what I have and what fruits I will add.) Here are the protein powders I have right now.
And half cup of frozen blueberries. Then I just blend with my immersion blender for easy clean up! I do cook a lot. Every day like I have said I prepare every meal my family eats, so I end up buying commercial equipment otherwise I have to replace stuff every year! This is my immersion blender. Very handy for sauces soups salsas dips.
Here is the final smoothie with out extras.
As is with out extras total for one meal
Or divide into two servings
The extras I mention are usually other super foods like these. I use these almost every day too!
Or just some diced fruit or cereals like Ezekiel (my favorite is the cinnamon raisin) But right now I try to leave the grains for a treat on the weekends. (that is the goal at least) Today I had half post workout as is and the other half with some raw walnuts, sliced raw almonds and fresh blueberries and blackberries as a snack.
I leave out stronger flavored super foods like these so I can actually enjoy eating my smoothie lol! I have other supperfoods like these in a small amount of liquid shaken up in a jar then drink it with a straw. Usually use coconut water goji juice or pom juice just one oz then rinse it with more coconut water since it does get thick and I don't want to waste since they are not cheap either. Speaking of not cheap I am out of lake kalamath blue green algae. But here are other ones I use.
Hope this is helpful. And that you can find ways to incorporate more superfoods to your diet too! They really are amazing.